Sun, 12 May 2024 11:48:16 -0700WeeblySun, 12 May 2024 10:59:26 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-may-12-2024Sunday Musings - May 12, 2024


USA - Mother’s Day


In the USA, today is set aside to honor mothers.  Of course, we know there are MOTHERS and there are mothers.  All biological mothers and MOTHERS have gone through the emotional and physical joy and discomfort of carrying a child for an average of 9 months.  Some of those have gone on to raise a child physically and emotionally.  For those who have children who may be challenged intellectually or have a disease which affects the ability to have a shared reality parenting may be hands on for a lifetime.


There are also many mothers and MOTHERS who were not the woman who was physically pregnant.  This includes formal and informal adoptive and foster MOTHERS and a great many grandparents, aunts/uncles, and some males who fulfill the role we typically assign to females.


MOTHERS in capital letters are those who can be physically and emotionally connected to their children; the ones who are able to commit to being on duty 24 hours a day with or without a partner who shares at least 50% in their care.  These can be biological and adoptive mothers or fathers who are able to fulfill this role.  It may include some foster mothers and exclude others.  Ideally adoptive and foster mothers undergo rigorous testing to determine if, in fact, they can and will be MOTHERS.  Sadly, overworked social workers and other factors have diluted the effectiveness of the testing.


In the United States many seem to have the idea that honoring and supporting the role of MOTHERS simply demands a once-a-year box of chocolates, flowers and perhaps dinner out. We do not honor MOTHERS with free childcare as needed, household help, paid maternity care, good health care, transportation, money for those “extras” which ensure access to a good college, and other essential extras such as dance lessons, sporting equipment, music lessons or paid, professional tutors when needed.   Depending on the state in which one lives it may or may not be relatively easy to access health care insurance, food stamps, or housing.


In other words when it comes to supporting MOTHERS in the USA, we may do so one day of the 365 days a year.  We do not walk the talk all year long.


We have also, for the most part, adopted and promoted a nuclear family concept in the United States.  This means one adult person (usually female) and possibly one other adult plus children.  (Depending on which source one consults there are as many as 11 million single parents in the United States, 80% of which are single mothers.).  Often if there are two parents one or both are working outside the home much of the day although some are lucky enough to work remotely or to be full time parents.  There are homeless mothers, many who are struggling with mental illness, some who are legal or illegal refugees and those who may float from one category to another.   There are also mothers in prison, many of whose primarily offense is having a mental illness.


There are a few MOTHERS who have the support of extended family members, but many do not.  Some of those may live with extended family members, but this was not the primary model offered to many young parents.  Also, just as there are mothers and MOTHERS there are grandparents and GRANDPARENTS. 


There are a few intentional communities in the United States whose members understand childcare to be a village responsibility 365 days a year.


Thus, even though we have a significant percentage of individuals in the USA who are “pro-life” meaning they are opposed to abortions and even birth control, it seems seldom to be the case that these individuals actively support the resources needed for optimal and effective parenting for the life of the child.


It is true many individuals do have the “luxuries” which my mother did not have for a significant number of her child rearing years.  This includes gas or electric ranges, central heat and air conditioning, automatic washers and dryers, electric irons, and a host of other “helpers”.  This does ease the burden but none of those operate without some human help.   Unlike using Alexa to order goods from Amazon, I cannot yet say to my electric range “Kill the fatted chicken and prepare chicken Marsa.” 


If we truly intend to continue the human species in the USA, we need to begin to walk the talk; to act as if childcare is truly the responsibility of the village.  Then and only then will Mother’s Day be meaningful for MOTHERS and not just another occasion to support florists, chocolatiers, and restaurants.  These are worthwhile, but they cannot make up for the lack of day-to-day support of MOTHERS.


Written May 12, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org


]]>Sat, 04 May 2024 22:22:37 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-may-5-2024 
Sunday Musings - May 5, 2024
Gaslighting.
 
Today I want to briefly discuss the role of local and national leaders in educational institutions and the body politic.
 
First, I want to be very clear that I strongly believe that hateful speech or behavior against groups or individuals is not only morally and ethically wrong but counterproductive.  Disagreement should not include hateful words or statements.  Any statements or behavior directed at others which is intended to question or limit their status as humans deserving of respect will never lead to moral or ethical results.
 
Having said the above, I would like to suggest that the current response to demonstrators questioning the action of the Israeli state toward Palestine and the action of countries, such as the United States in providing weapons and other military aid to the government of Israel is gaslighting. In this instant I am intending to use the term to denote blaming the victim.  The victims are those who have taken to the streets and college campus facilities to force our so-called leaders to, at the very least, lead the debate on what is moral or ethical in the behavior which has resulted in the death of not only many Jewish people but nearly 35,000 of those living in Palestine.
 
My understanding is that the staff and boards of educational institutions are responsible for:
 
o   Teaching skills which will allow students to become proficient in assuming the tasks necessary to build and maintain communities which serve the basic needs of all life forms, including we humans.
o   Teaching critical thinking and problem-solving skills
o   Leading by example.
 
I was in college and graduate school during the era when we students were forced to ask the questions our educators, politicians and other leaders were not asking.   Even though I attended graduate school at an Ivy League university, I cannot recall one instance of the President, administrative staff, board members, or teachers taking the initiative to facilitate debates on such important topics as  the role, if any, the United States should have in such places as Vietnam or if one was complicit in the military action or in other mistreatment if one was investing money in the companies which supported such action.   Those are basically the same questions the students and other young people are asking regarding our direct and indirect support of what some are calling a genocide of the Palestinians. 
 
We know:
 
·      The issue of a Palestinian State needs to be resolved. 
·      Since the horrendous attack by Hamas the current government of Israel has respondded by taking a page from the post 9/11 history of the United States.
·      The Israeli government is determined to indiscriminately kill all Palestinians to locate and kill members of Hamas.  
·      There has been a systematic denial of the historic mistreatment of the Palestinians.
·      The history of the Jewish people includes numerous polygons and the unthinkable reality of the Holocaust.
·      There are some groups which would gladly push all Jews into the sea.
·      There are and have been groups of Jews and Palestinians sitting down together to find ways to ensure a peaceful co-existence for many years.  
·      There is much we know and, perhaps, much we do not know.
 
When public institutions, including educational bodies, want to prevent the student takeover of buildings and sometimes destruction of buildings and equipment, they initiate:
 
        
 
·      Organized debates about whether it is moral or ethical to make money from unethical or immoral actions/endeavors.   Many responsible for ensuring the financial survival of schools and the nation have suggested it should be the sole goal of the money managers to make money regardless of the morality of the business in which it is invested.  Others correctly state it is sometimes very difficult to track the specific organizations associated with investment groups or portfolios. 
 
·      Debates initiated by politicians and political entities with students about these and related issues when it is common knowledge future leaders have valid concerns.
 
Nothing excuses the gaslighting of students and others - often young people - who are forced to do what we adults have been unwilling to do.  This is especially obvious when we present ourselves as educators and educational institutions. I have in this brief blog ignored the inaction of most - not all- religious institutions.  In the mainline Christian church, I attend I have yet to hear one word suggesting a debate about our participation in the killing of nearly 35,000 Palestinians. The local temple did host a lecture defending the actions of the Israeli government which did include some time for audience comments and questions.
 
It is time we adults took responsibility for initiating and hosting open, civil, respectful debates about how we as a nation should invest our time, money, and weapons of mass destruction; about the morality/ethics of our actions as a nation.
 
Written May 5, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
]]>Sat, 27 Apr 2024 20:20:44 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-april-28-2024 
 
Sunday Musings - April 28, 2024
 
When young some of us may have laughed at the elders in our family who seemed obsessed with checking the obituaries in the morning newspapers.  Now that some of us are the same age as those elders we may find ourselves engaging in the same morning ritual; that is if we are lucky enough to live in a community which still has a local print or on line newspaper containing such information.   We may frequently see the names of our contemporaries and a listing of those loved ones who preceded them in death.  We may also read a list of achievements.  Most of the time the achievements will simply include such acolytes as “loving parent, siblings, partner and perhaps successful businessperson or respected professional person.   Occasionally, we may read of that person whose legacy includes acolytes as a “revered spiritual leader”, “friend of the homeless” or some other imprint left on the lives of some in the community. 
 
Most of us may not give a lot of thought to the legacy or footprint which we are leaving each moment of his life journey.  We are busy with the survival tasks of each day.  We seemingly go from childhood to adulthood to old age in the blink of an eye with little proof we were here.  The fact the lawn is mowed, the children fed and bathe, the dishes done, the bed made, and the bills paid do not earn a plague on the community square or some building.  The fact, as is the case with many of my friends who are now in the ranks of the elderly, one was a loving, 24-7 caretaker of a partner, parent or child may only earn a brief blip on the historical record.
 
Do we not leave a legacy which permanently marks the fact that “He/she was here and made a difference in the life of the community or even the planet?”  Are we like the lilies of the field which briefly live and, as part of the whole field of lilies, remembered only as one of many?
 
We humans have been pondering the meaning or purpose of this brief journey for at least as long as we have been able to leave some record of our pondering.  We have posited religious and philosophical theories to convince ourselves there is something beyond being born, briefly living - often with great suffering - quickly dying and returning to the dust of the earth.  We still have no absolute answer for what happens to our energy/our essence once we are clinically dead.   
 
We know from a young age that death will visit all of us.  Yet, we act shocked and often betrayed when a loved one dies no matter the manner of death or the relative longevity of the journey.  We may often create an entirely new history of the deceased; perhaps, an attempt to give the legacy of the person importance or meaning.  The husband or wife we could not stand can morph into the sweetheart we thought we were marrying.  The child whose struggle with addiction or other diseases left us exhausted, angry, and frustrated becomes the innocent child we brought home from the hospital.  We seemingly need to justify the energy we invested in the relationship.
 
Is there an alternative?  Should we just accept our journey is briefly a part of a whole which has no more or less meaning than the lily of the field?  Could we possibly be at peace with such a possibility, or would that admission not be enough to willingly step into our role on the stage of life?
 
What if all of life’s meaning is contained in the moments; the moments in which we are intentional about leaving a loving smile with all that we meet; the offering of a libation to Mother Earth before each sip of liquid or meal?  What if we show up with the ability to embrace the humanness of all of us?  What if we accept the possibility that our delicately balanced brains intermittently have a shared reality?  What if we stretch out our arms to bring the sunlight and the rain into the moment?  What if we are simply present with each other and all of nature without labels or judgments?  What if our legacy is that we showed up and for that moment all in our circle experienced all of existence.
 
Many have posited the only reality is this moment - our legacy.  What if we are the gods and the gods are us; we are the lily, and the lily is us?  What if we embraced this reality each moment while we accomplished those necessary mundane tasks?  What then would be our legacy? Does the positive energy of that reality spread out to be embraced by the universes?   Perhaps?
 
Written April 28, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
  
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​]]>Sat, 20 Apr 2024 18:29:12 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-april-21-2024Sunday Musings - April 21, 2024
 
Excel spread sheet.
 
Regardless of our philosophical, religious, or cultural background we humans hurt each other and Mother Earth.  Religious leaders often term such action as sin. Despite the profession of many in religious groups that “we have all sinned and fallen short the glory of God” (the god of one’s understanding/belief) religious groups keep what amounts to an excel spreadsheet of hurtful actions. This spreadsheet includes a set of criteria for deciding the points for each type of way we hurt each other, ourselves, or mother earth.   Such a list of criteria must detail the setting for each wrong.  For example, to kill when authorized to do so by a government body such as the state ordering executions or when a member of one of the many Federal military or law enforcement groups, one might be honored or decorated as a hero for killing another human.   In various cultures to have a loving, sexual relationship with someone of the same sex may be celebrated or condemned.  In some cultures, elders introduce children to sexual activity.  In others elders who have sex with children are assigned many sin points. To take what is claimed as property by another can be considered a grave sin.  In other situations, it is considered the spoils of war.  To use more than one’s share of resources might be a symbol of a successful person or it might symbolize greed and be worthy of being punished.
 
To pretend one is offering a safe product might gain the approval of some community organizations.  To cheat or to lie about one’s product might in other situations win one many sins points. To show one genitals in public if one is of a certain age might be worthy of punishments unless one is in an approved nudist setting or if one is high fashion enough to show off 99% certain parts of one’s body.
 
 One can list many examples of the apparent contradictory rules for maintaining the excel sin sheet for each of us.  Yet, many of us might deny that we maintain such sheets or that the point system is arbitrary and dependent on religious frameworks, cultural beliefs or the opinions of some others who have a position of power,   That power might be the results of an assigned position in the community or the result of someone who has time and energy to wag their lips in person or on such platforms as social media.
 
I strongly suspect we need to:
 
o   Admit that our list and criteria for sin points are often very arbitrary.
o   Be aware our behavior is on someone’s excel spreadsheet.
o   Remember the wisdom of judge not less one be judged.
o   Forgiveness = acceptance of the humanness of self and others.
o   Hurt people hurt each other.   We can change that pattern by listening and seeing beneath the surface of all of us.    
o   Justice has many faces.  One of them is restorative.
        
Increasingly we can identify and understand some of factors which affect the ability to have or fail to have a shared reality: those factors which affect the ability to consider the needs and rights of others.  We need to think less in terms of “sin” and more about how and when to lovingly restrain one of us from seriously hurting self, others, and Mother Earth.  Even when it is obvious that a person is a danger to self or others it would behoove us to approach the issue of safety with love and empathy.  When our own children do something which is harmful physically or emotionally, we “see” that innocent child we first held after its birth.  I believe we need to see that innocent child in all of us no matter the nature of our behavior.
 
There is much we do not know about the operation of the human mind and resulting behavior.  We do know love and respect is more effective than viewing and treating someone as bad, evil, or otherwise undeserving of love.
 
I recently saw the play “Fat Ham” by James Ijames at City Theater in Pittsburgh.  The writer did an amazing job of reminding the viewer or all of us are more or less than what we see or hear when experiencing the “outside” persona or costume.
 
In this season of spring where I live, I am constantly reminded of the magic of seeds and bulbs which in and of themselves are not very attractive or interesting.  Yet, they contain the ability to create magic and beauty.  What if we could view each other with the same possibility?   We all contain the possibility of beauty and magic.  Yes, we are human and, by definition, less than perfect.  We are also much more than what might be recorded as sin points on an excel spread sheet.
 
Written April 21, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
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]]>Sat, 13 Apr 2024 18:08:40 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-april-14-2024Sunday Musings - April 14, 2024
Healer or Jailer
 
As clergy, health care professionals and teachers our mission is to do all we can to help each other thrive or to use the term some Gallup researchers are now using “flourish” during this life journey.  This may mean something different for each of us. Those who have been tortured, abused, and lived through the repeated trauma of war, poverty, chronic illness, or spiritual deprivation need our understanding and unconditional support.  They may often be treated as lazy, burdens or nuisances by many of our neighbors who do not understand mental and emotional illness.  Many think of mental and emotional illness as weaknesses.  Some of us in the teaching or helping professions find it difficult to convey both a respect for the emotional, mental, and physical pain individuals and families share with us and the assurance that one can flourish following emotional, mental, and physical injury or abuse.  Too often we may err by conveying the message that one is damaged and an invalid for life.  If any of us believe we are damaged or an invalid for life, we may sit down and just exist for the remaining days of our journey.  We teachers and helping professionals can err by not conveying empathy for the pain the person has endured or not validating their inner strength.  Neither extreme is helpful and will not allow a person to flourish. 
 
I have often sat in the courtroom and listened to a colleague testify that a person has been damaged for life; implying they will be unable to flourish; that they are a permanent invalid.  I have often testified that an injured person can heal and have a flourishing life. Healing does not imply that one gets rid of the pain but implies one does not have to allow it to determine the remainder of one’s life.
 
In my office I have often told people that they can have all the loving support they want, but they will get no pats on the head.  I believe all of us are stronger and more resilient than we may, at times, feel or believe.  I personally know individuals, families and groups who have survived acute trauma and, without denying the trauma have gone on to flourish.   My ex-wife, her parents and her one grandmother escaped a country during WWII, spent many years in a refugee camp and lived to flourish.  Another friend of mine was confined to a wheelchair at age 12 and became a highly respected and much-loved psychologist.  Friends and colleagues who lived through combat and bore witness to the death of many of their friends went on to heal and to then help others to heal.  Some individuals, such as the Supreme Court justice Sonia Sotomayor, grew up in the projects with an alcoholic father, a mother who was often at work and a younger brother for whom she was responsible much of the time.  Such individuals are resilient, but do become hard/emotionally shut down.
 
Anyone who has been to a wake, especially for a person who suffered the trauma of racism and other abuse, knows that many of those celebrating the life of the deceased can share both laughter and tears.  
 
In the teachings and helping professions we must learn to walk the often-thin line with individuals and families between empathy and affirming their inner resilience. We must laugh and cry with them.  Sometimes the laughter is misinterpreted as denial of the pain.   A colleague of mine - a psychiatrist - used to hear clients/patients laughing in my office and decide they were faking the extent of their depression or other symptoms of pain. He fell into the trap of dualities; of seeing people as either sick or well; as either sad/depressed or joyful. He seemed unable to grasp that one ca be simultaneously both.
 
Most of we humans experience acute pain.  Some of us experience chronic emotional and/or physical pain.  Pain does not have to mean the absence of joy.  Paradoxically when we allow ourselves to express the dept of our pain, we also have access to the depth of joy. It is my personal and professional experience that all passion - all strong emotions - reside in the same place in our body.  When we block one, we block the other.
 
I suspect it is our role as teachers, health care professionals, friends, and parents to support others in carrying joy in one hand and grief in the other.  As Cory Booker said to Judge Jackson at her confirmation hearings for the position of Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court, “They cannot take away our joy,”.  Senator Booker would be last to discount the traumas of racism and sexism, but he knows, if we are to flourish, we must simultaneously hold fast to our joy.
 
Written April 14, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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]]>Sat, 06 Apr 2024 15:26:18 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-april-7-2024Sunday Musings – April 7, 2024
 
If one attends 12 step meetings such as AA, NA, OA, SA, GA or any other, one may often hear the phase “life on life’s terms 
 
Frequently, the recovering addict shares that prior to recovery they they did not feel a part of; experiencing life as too painful and meaningless for them to live like other people. They were, essentially, spiritually dead; unable to find connection or purpose. They report the first time they felt okay was when they got drunk or high from a drug, food, sex, power, or something else outside of themselves.  With other addicts they felt as if they had found a place they belonged.   Family, partners, children, financial commitments to anyone other than their drug of choice had to take a back seat.   The rights and needs of others could not be a consideration.  Facing life on life’s terms was not an option.
 
Those of us do not live with active addiction or some other mental illness can usually ignore tiredness, mild illness, or other uncomfortable feelings and force ourselves to parent, go to work, perform a tedious, even seemingly stupid task, deal with the death of a loved one, the betrayal of a partner, economic stress, or other life events even when we feel like going back to bed or running away.  Day by day we may complain but we do what needs to be done.  We may procrastinate on some tasks which do not demand immediate attention but eventually we face what needs to be done.  This may not include cleaning out the attic, basement, and closets before we die.
 
The person who suffers from a disabling mental illness such as addiction, depression, panic disorder or any reality which is far removed from a shared reality, may not be able to perform the simplest tasks or to consider the needs and rights of others.  They are disconnected from their own moral/ethical values.  They are unable to perform essential daily tasks.  The key word here is unable; often unable to access their core moral values; unable to find the energy to move off the couch or arise from the recliner; unable to  care for their sick child; unable to care about the life of the person who has access to the drug which will allow them a few minutes of peace; unable to do without that drug which will add another pound on top of the 300 which already makes every step painful; tunable to stop themselves from violating the vow to stop the insanity of their life; unable to consider the rights of another with whom they want to be sexually intimate.
 
For most of us, life on life terms, means that we have access to core values; to the ability to decide on behavior which allows us to live with some degree of integrity.  Since this is possible for us, we may assume that those who do not consider the rights and needs of others or even their own needs are “bad” or “sinful” people.  Many may suggest the person who is a thief, or an abuser of others is evil, without hearts or decency. 
 
Most of us do not want to face the possibility that we will ever be unable to exercise free will; to make choices which align with our core values.  We are frighted of the possibility that we could behave like “those people”.  Some of us are, however, at that age when dementia is visiting some of our friends who are now in “memory care homes” or nursing homes; unable to care for themselves or others physically or mentally.  Some of us might have family members whose ability to live life on life’s terms has been stolen by some form of mental illness.
 
Some with mental illness can be restored to sanity; to the ability to daily make decisions to live in a way which honors the sacredness of the life of all people or most people,  Sometimes a combination of surgery, medication, therapy or a self-help group such as a 12 step groups can release a person from the chains of active addiction or other mental illness; to allow them to live life on life’s terms. Some cannot be thus restored.
 
As Christians who trust in unconditional love; as Muslims who fast and pray seeking a path to forgiveness and wholeness; as Jews who trust the miracle of Passover, as humans witnessing new life arising out of the seeming death of winter, we are powerless over our human fragility; our walk on the thin beam of shared reality.  We know we need to walk with each other; to drop the labels of evil, bad, criminal, uncaring and find ways to lovingly care for those of us unable to live life on life’s terms; unable to access our shared sacredness.
 
Just for today if we are blessed to be able to live life on life’s terms, we could be grateful and forego judgment of those unable to do so.  Tomorrow we may be that person unable to live life on life’s terms.
 
Written April 7, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 ​]]>Sat, 30 Mar 2024 16:20:21 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-march-31-2024​Sunday Musings – March 31, 2024
 
For Christians today is celebrated as Easter, the resurrection of Jesus, following his death on the cross and his burial.  In some parts of the world, it is also spring, a time when there are many reminders of the miracle of rebirth.  Trees which appeared dead are filled with sap and new leaves.  Grass, flowers, and other vegetation appear from apparent dead places.  Everywhere one looks there is resurrection. In nature we can easily see that death and resurrection are an ongoing process and not a one-time event.  Yet, in our religious services today, we might be tempted to view the crucifixion and the resurrection as one times events.  Many will recite a creed which proclaims that He arose and now sits on the right hand of God. 
 
In Matthew 25, beginning with verse 35, Jesus is reported to have said: “For when you saw me hungry, you fed me. When you found me thirsty, you gave me drink.  When I had no place to stay you invited me in.  When I was poorly clothed, you covered me.  When I was sick, you tenderly cared for me, and when I was in prison you visited me. Then the godly will answer him. ‘Lord when did we see you hungry and thirsty and give you food and something to drink?  When did we see you with no place to stay and invite you in? When did you see you poorly clothed and cover you? When did we see you sick and tenderly care for you, or in prison and visit you. And the King will answer them, ‘Don’t you know? When you cared for one of the least of these, my little ones, my true brothers, and sisters, you demonstrated love for me.”
 
If we take these and other alleged teachings of Jesus seriously, we cannot claim to have taken Jesus off the cross, washed, wrapped, and buried him.   If we did not remove him from the cross, washed, wrapped, and buried him there was no resurrection. 
 
Today in the United States we jail the mentally ill and treat them as criminals. We see the homeless as a nuisance who at best we assign space for a homeless camp while warning them to be good or we will rescind the permit.  We criminalize parents who are too sick to care for their children.   We expect private groups to care for the least of these.  We withhold childcare and in other ways refuse to treat childcare as a sacred community responsivity.  We act as if terrorist arise out of vacuums. We take no responsivity for the consequences of mistreating others.  We judge the spec in the eye of our brother or sister while leaving the log in our own eye.  We create economic systems which assure that 1% have most of the resources.  We create laws to deny the reality of racism. sexism, gender disparity, the transexual, and those who love someone of the same gender while in private live out the reality of those we deny. 
 
If we are leaving the least of us on the cross and if Jesus says that we cannot separate treatment of Him and the least of these then there can be no bathing, wrapping and burial.   Without a burial there can be no resurrection.
 
The cross, burial and resurrection is a daily process.  Easter is not today if it is not every day for everyone.
 
This is the challenge which Jesus offers.  This is opportunity which Jesus offers.   It is not performed in our Sunday best.  It is not often accompanied by beautiful music, rich robes, or silver chalices.  It often requires hard, dirty, unattractive work which invites all of us to gently lower the cross, remove the nails, tenderly wash the naked wounds, bury the corpse, and witness the resurrection. 
 
Written March 31, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
]]>Sat, 23 Mar 2024 14:28:18 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-march-24-2024Sunday Musings - March 24, 2024
 
Religious leaders, throughout the ages, have had a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that we humans are sexual beings 365 days of the year.  Of course, some of us have a stronger sex drive than others and a few seem to have no sex drive or interest at all.  Even many autistic individuals bond and have an intimate relationship with another human.   Clearly, we humans are designed to enjoy intimacy including sex.  Some of us will also assume the role of a biological parent via sexual intercourse or via one of the amazing procedures which have been created to facilitate the creation.
 
We in the United States seem to have a love/hate relationship with sex. This is also true in other cultures and countries, but we may have perfected the art of duplicity when it comes to sex.  Many of our neighbors do all they can to ensure the illusion that sex is only between two married people of opposite genders for procreation only. They also attempt to endure that all accept the illusion that “God creates male and females only.” even though physicians and some parents are aware that a significant number of individuals are born with characteristic and organs of both genders.  They do not approve of the concept or reality of non-binary or transgender individuals. 
 
Many of those who are publicly uncomfortable with sex for pleasure also proclaim God intended gender and gender roles be clearly assigned.   Thus, some male “religious” individuals and groups forbid women to be religious leaders or have equal opportunity and respect in any area of life.  
 
The alleged superior beings - males - also may decide what garments women must wear, whether they can drive, attend school, or otherwise have access to tools of independence.   If they are “allowed” some equal rights, they are paid less which is another tool to keep them “in their place”.    
 
Often, these very same religious leaders who make the rules and promote a story about what God allows are often the very same men who uses women and men as sexual objects and to serve their needs and desires in other areas of their life.
 
Many Christian religious leaders conceptualize Jesus as basically a God who was never “spoiled” with sex. Any suggestion that Jesus had sex with females or males is labeled sinful or worse.   
 
In these United States while labeling most sexual activity as sinful, many Christians are comfortable using sex to sell a wide variety of products from cars to clothes.   
 
I would be amiss if I did not remind the reader that pornography of all varieties is the most profitable business in the world.
 
As Christians continue their celebration of Lent and their preparation for the miracle of the resurrection of the teacher Jesus, it is time to unveil the hypocrisy of our sexual attitudes. It is time to unveil the fact that our sexual teachings have their basis in the need to ensure the patriarchal status quo of the power structure; the status quo economically, religiously, culturally, and emotionally.  
 
Mary carried a baby, gave birth in a stable and along with Joseph raised a child who was probably an “old soul”  with many talents and wisdom gained over many generations.  We have all met children who were obviously old souls.  Jesus taught at an early age and was clearly aware of social injustice, the nature of healing and “miracles”.  If stories are to be believed he refused to differentiate between ways we hurt and abuse each other.  For the same reason he could suggest we forgive our enemies; even those who were responsible for convicting him and nailing him alive to the cross.  
 
Mary does not need to have an immaculate conception and Jesus does not have to be celibate as “the God” for us to celebrate them as the role models/teachers they were.   Celibacy does not equal sainthood.  Sexual enjoyment does not preclude sainthood.  Treating all peoples as sacred regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, economic status, intelligence as we measure it, cultural background, race, color, or size does equal sainthood.   We can enjoy each other sexually and otherwise without abusing each other or making one group superior.
 
Whether our religious background or current framework is Christian, Muslim, Jewish. Buddhist, or a host of other options the miracle is not a self-centered power structure but the very fact of how all pieces or parts of the universes create a whole. It is time we are honest about the fact our public attitudes and rules about gender and sexuality have nothing to do with sex or gender and everything to do with power structures and justification of the same.
 
Honesty opens the door to freedom to be the best of who we say we want to be. In this season of Lent  and Ramadan let us embrace the miracle of who we are as humans.
 
Written March 24, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
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]]>Sat, 16 Mar 2024 13:43:49 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-march-17-2024Sunday Musings - March 17, 2024


Happy St. Patrick’s Day.  The myth/story is Saint Patrick - originally from Whales - was brought to Ireland as a slave, escaped, and later returned   He is credited with bringing Christianity to Ireland.  (history.com)


As is true for many myths this one has evolved to be adopted as a secular holiday in the United States and is a boom to retailers.  Drinking green beer and the wearing of the green has become traditional for the Irish and pseudo-Irish on this day.  Sadly, frequently many use this as an excuse to over imbibe    


Obviously, there is nothing immoral with co-opting a holiday for secular purposes.   Goodness knows many need a break from a routine which is often filled with hard labor and poor wages.  


All life stories, including that of Saint Patrick, as they get retold take on a life of their own, often having little resemblance to the original story.   Thus, a myth is born out of a mixture of one cup of historical fact and many cups of various ingredients added by each person who retells the story.


When myths, however, become the purview of religious institutions they are imbued with religious dogma, rules, and “TRUTH” leaving little tolerance for questioning or debate unless it is in the hallowed and private halls of theologians and exalted leaders who claim to have access to the one true God.   Merriam Webster defines dogma as “a doctrine or body of doctrines concerning faith, or morals formally stated and authoritatively proclaimed by a church.”  Only the leaders of that religious institution can alter or add to the dogma of the institution.  Thus, the Pope of the Roman Catholic church recently announced that same sex coupes could be blessed, but only opposite sex couples could be married. 


Once a behavior is encased in dogma, no amount of scientific information or common sense can change what is ethical or moral.  Thus, recently a certain Protestant church leadership reaffirmed that only males can be ministers.  A friend of mine who is an ordained minister in a mainline Protestant denomination recently shared with me that their bishop when asked to consider the hearts of the lay people said, “I don’t do feelings.”    A few days ago, I was accosted by a person campaigning to be a local city council member. She proclaimed that “God made males and females”. She was inferring that a current transsexual council member who is also running for major should have no agency in the city government.   A judge in deciding that embryos are protected life forms cited Christian dogma.  In the current war in the Middle East some members of both sides claim the moral authority of their God.


In this season of Lent and Ramadan both of which promote forgiveness, self-reflection, and a renewed devotion to the God of their understanding embrace dogmas which claims exclusive access to the one true God and thus, the right to dictate what is moral and immoral.


My friend who, along with others, suggested that they consider what is in the hearts of the lay people often implies or asserts it is our hearts which will guide us towards moral/ethical behavior.  Her recipe for moral behavior seems to be a combination of ingredients; unconditional love, common sense, science, and openness to the “I am.” definition of God found in the Old Testament of the Christian faith.  This God of her understanding is in all places and no place; has no name and all names; is present in every part of life and is more than any part.  This God is not fearful of the heart; of science, or other attempts to describe the “I am”.  


My experience is that every 4-year-old knows what makes sense and does not make sense.  They know that violence is “stupid”; that humans of all colors, cultures, and genders are equally valuable.   They know that resources should be shared and do so naturally unless they have already been taught not to share.  They do not know one gender is better but are curious about all body parts.  Often, they know what it is to be attracted to the same or opposite gender, people of colors or no color.   They know if someone is not able to be safe.


It seems to me that as we join hands with our Irish neighbors in welcoming the teachings of Jesus - teachings which he knew and taught at a very young age in the synagogue; as we join hands with our Muslim neighbors for prayer and reflection; as we join hands with Christians as they prepare for resurrection as a constant process; as we embrace the historical pilgrimage of our Jewish neighbors to explore what it might mean to model the best of who we humans can be, we need to open our hearts, our ears and our minds to the simplicity of the 4 year old who resides in all of us.


Written March 17, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org


]]>Sat, 09 Mar 2024 18:13:56 GMThttp://coachpickett.org/blog/sunday-musings-march-10-2024Sunday Musings - March 10, 2024
In 1961 Thomas Szasz published a book which was widely read.  He argued there is no such thing as mental illness, only physical illness; that the idea of mental illness is a myth.
Anyone who has experienced severe depression, a reality which sharply deviates from a shared reality, anxiety, panic attacks or other states of mind which restrict or prevents one from functioning in the home and community knows that these are real conditions which one does not make a conspicuous decision to experience. Some of us will become addicted to alcohol, other drugs, food, sex power or other substances.  Some will experience disabling post-traumatic stress syndrome.  Some will find that some part of their mind compels them to overeat, addictively play video games or compulsively engage in some other activity to the point of not going to work or performing other daily responsibilities.     Some will find that they quickly become overstimulated to the point of not being able to function.  One could find examples of all the “mental “conditions which have been assigned a name or a code in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual complied and approved the American Psychiatric Association.  The symptoms are real as are the inability to control or reduce them without medication, psychological help or other treatment which may reduce or even eliminate the symptoms.   
Whatever we mean by emotional, mental, or psychological conditions they are real.  Yet, at some level, Thomas Szasz might have been correct.  Thoughts and feelings are the result of physical processes.  Our body is an electrical system which is managed or controlled by many factors including genetics, malfunction of internal systems such as the thyroid, other chemical imbalances, environment factors, negative treatment by others (physical and psychological), positive treatment by others, mind altering drugs/chemicals, and factors which seem magical, or some believe are the result of divine interference. 
We are just now on the verge of approaching an understanding of consciousness - having a way of talking about that part of the process of the human “mind”.   We know we have thoughts which are undoubtedly the result of a physical process in our mind.  Yet, the thoughts themselves are not something we can physically isolate, operate on or otherwise envision.  We may be able to physically perform some procedures which eliminate, diminish, or change our thought process.  Treating a dysfunctional thyroid condition can sometimes raise one mood and energy level.   A patient of mine was diagnosed with an acute depression which was not responding to medication or talk therapy.   Treating her adult hydrocephalus condition with surgery greatly reduced her depressive symptoms.   For another patient removing a tumor which was hiding “in his brain” allowed him relief from crippling depression. Finding a way to treat a sleep disorder thus allowing the body to rest/recharge can have a dramatic effect on the ability to think clearly and otherwise function.
We health professionals too often miss or dismiss potential causes of “mental” symptoms.      
When I see a new client, I want to know that a complete battery of blood work has been done and the results reviewed.  I also want to know what other possible treatable conditions ben have explored. Could the person have a brain tumor?  Does the person have an acute sleep disorder?  Is the person living with severe chronic physical pain? I also want to know nutritional habits, physical habits, history of individual and family illness as well as the nuances of what the client/patient is experiencing.   Additionally, I want to know if the client/patent has a sense of purpose or a reason to keep living.  Are they feeling useless, lonely, isolated or “put out to pasture”.  In recent Gallop research studies researchers are asking if individuals say they are “flourishing”.
My frequent diagnosis is “PBS” (pissed body syndrome). PBS is a healthy response to a lack of holistic health care or some other stressors.
We are all part of many constantly interacting systems - internal and external. When we ignore or are, for various reasons, unable to actively feed all parts of our internal system and play an active, healthy role in the system which comprises the family, the community, and the environment we will not function as we need and want to.  Just as many factors can affect the grid which feeds energy to our home electrical system many factors affect our internal electrical system.
All parts of our body are physical at some level even if some, such as thoughts and feelings are not visible.  What we call thoughts and feelings can affect how our body function – interna thoughts and feelings and those offered by another person. I suspect we humans, including health care professionals, need to be more respectful of systems; all which affects the operation of individual bodies as well as the family and community.
Perhaps as we learn to more effectively understand and communicate about the human mind, we will become less judgmental and more able to approach all behavior in a loving, scientific manner.
Written March 10, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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