Sunday musings - February 25, 2024
The subject of forgiveness is, for most of we humans, one which can elicit strong emotions. If we experience another person as hurtful in some way and we think they were careless or even intentionally hurtful we might feel fearful or even angry. We might then demand or expect an apology if they do not first beg for forgiveness. If we feel the request for forgiveness is not genuine or coming from the heart we might refuse to accept it. If there is a pattern of repeated offenses followed by a plea for forgiveness such as is often the case with a domestically violenf partner or someone who is mentally ill with addiction or other illness, we might rightly decide their assertion that they are sorry does not predict their future behavior. Even though they might be genuinely wanting forgiveness they may not have a credible plan to correct the factors leading to their behavior. Perhaps their illness has been unresponsive to treatment.
Occasionally, we might be the one with an emotional or spiritual “disease” and refuse to accept an apology. We might believe we need to hold on to a resentment and/or bank their sin to give us future power over the person. Obviously that behavior benefits neither person.
Frequently the person we find the most difficult to forgive is ourselves, especially if we cannot repair a damage we cause. For example, one might have an automobile accident when one is impaired resulting in serious injury or even the death of someone. Perhaps the hurt one caused was an emotional one such as raising our voice with one’s children; chastising them when one knows they were just being children; knowing the real issue was that one’s gas tanks were on empty.
All we humans are, at times, hurtful to people, places, or things. Yet too many of us seem to have convinced ourselves that our ways of hurting other people, places, and things, is less harmful than the behavior of others. We may sincerely believe, as did the disciples, that the sins of the prostitute are worse than ours. Yet, Jesus and many other spiritual teachers did not accept this distinction. Although Jesus is purported to have said to the woman, “Go and sin no more.” he obviously knew she would still be human and continue to hurt people, places, and things; perhaps not in risking spreading sexually transmitted diseases but in other ways. Interestingly when Jesus was on the cross, he is purported to have prayed for the folks who unjustly convicted and nailed him to the cross to die, “Father forgives them for they know now what they do.” There is no record of him saying, “Go and sin no more.” I suspect he hoped they would learn to see their own sacredness and, thus, that of others.
Many Christians seem to simultaneously believe “Christ died for the sins of all we humans.”; that all are forgiven before one even asks and to also believe it is necessary one asks or even begs the god of their understanding for forgiveness. Some of those same Christians make exceptions for certain ways they hurt others. Justified wars during which one kills others, capital punishment, using more than one’s share of resources, the unequal distribution of resources, name calling of others, and blaming the victims for the injustice inflicted on them often get left off the “sin” list. If one wants justification for this redacted list of “sins” one merely needs to pursue the many volumes of works by “learned” theologians. Yet, some of us less “learned” individuals have yet to find such nuances in the Greek, Latin or any other languages recording the words of Jesus and other sacred teachers.
It is my belief that we may continue to demand others ask or even beg for forgiveness before we grant it, but the God of my understanding freely extends forgiveness without us asking. All we must do is acknowledge and accept that unconditional love. Ironically, by accepting that love we are, in the words of Louise Hay, confirming we are “perfect in our imperfection”. We then find we are less hurtful of selves, each other, and Mother Earth. For Christian’s that is, I believe, the essential message of Lent and Easter.
Written February 25, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett. org
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