Sunday Musings - August 30, 2020
It occurs to me this morning as I reflect on the week which has just ended and prepare for the new week beginning today I could easily write about the fierce storms, fires and other acts of Mother Nature (sometimes aided by us humans) which visited this week, the struggle for racial justice in United States and other countries, the decisive and ugly political rhetoric which continues in this (and other) countries, the tragic decisions which many must make regarding health care, fiancés, care of family, the political contamination of decisions regarding COVID-19, the individual struggles with mental illness or a host of other issues which affect the community.
It also occurs to me that I could follow the advice of Grandma Fannie to “clean up my own back yard before I focus on that of others”. Cleaning up my back yard would require what friends and clients who work a 12-step recovery program suggest; I strive to practice the HOW of the program. The HOW of the program is “honesty, open mindedness, and willingness”. Any of us who has attempted to sincerely practice the HOW know that this presents an ongoing challenge. For example, what seems honest to me today may, upon further willingness to open those safes in my mind, reveal truths which I may be somewhat embarrassed to admit, or I want to avoid sharing with myself and others.
Obviously, I know that my ego or sense of self-worth is based on feeling and often still believing that I “should” be further along in my spiritual journey than I am. I may, for example, want to believe that I am less judgmental of others than I am. I may like to think that I am less concerned with my own feelings than I am with the feelings and needs of others. I may want to believe and want others to believe my feelings for certain others are not never lustful or sexual. I may want to believe that my love for my son is without any expectations or conditions; that I am perfectly okay with his belief that communication with me is bad for his emotional health. I may want others to believe that I am more self-contained and not envious of those with seemingly healthy romantic or partnership relationship. I may give others the impression that I no longer ruminate about all the “sins” of my past; especially those for which I cannot make amends. I may, in short, deliberately or unwittingly not openly practice allowing others to “see” me instead of the carefully costumed and controlled facsimile I present to much of the world.
My spiritual teacher reminds me to “just notice” all of the above. This then may allow me to willingly open to the honesty which reveals me as I am today; not the “I” I revealed yesterday and not the “I” I will reveal tomorrow but the “I” am today with all that I appear to be and all that I that I am beneath the costume.
I will remind myself that in this brief life experience nothing much matter except that, for today, I do my best to walk the talk; to practice the HOW; to accept my humanness; to invite others to laugh with me and not at me; to clean up my own backyard of each piece of garbage to reveal the flowers which have been hidden beneath those same pieces of garbage.
Written August 30, 2020
Jimmy Pickett
coachpickett.org
It occurs to me this morning as I reflect on the week which has just ended and prepare for the new week beginning today I could easily write about the fierce storms, fires and other acts of Mother Nature (sometimes aided by us humans) which visited this week, the struggle for racial justice in United States and other countries, the decisive and ugly political rhetoric which continues in this (and other) countries, the tragic decisions which many must make regarding health care, fiancés, care of family, the political contamination of decisions regarding COVID-19, the individual struggles with mental illness or a host of other issues which affect the community.
It also occurs to me that I could follow the advice of Grandma Fannie to “clean up my own back yard before I focus on that of others”. Cleaning up my back yard would require what friends and clients who work a 12-step recovery program suggest; I strive to practice the HOW of the program. The HOW of the program is “honesty, open mindedness, and willingness”. Any of us who has attempted to sincerely practice the HOW know that this presents an ongoing challenge. For example, what seems honest to me today may, upon further willingness to open those safes in my mind, reveal truths which I may be somewhat embarrassed to admit, or I want to avoid sharing with myself and others.
Obviously, I know that my ego or sense of self-worth is based on feeling and often still believing that I “should” be further along in my spiritual journey than I am. I may, for example, want to believe that I am less judgmental of others than I am. I may like to think that I am less concerned with my own feelings than I am with the feelings and needs of others. I may want to believe and want others to believe my feelings for certain others are not never lustful or sexual. I may want to believe that my love for my son is without any expectations or conditions; that I am perfectly okay with his belief that communication with me is bad for his emotional health. I may want others to believe that I am more self-contained and not envious of those with seemingly healthy romantic or partnership relationship. I may give others the impression that I no longer ruminate about all the “sins” of my past; especially those for which I cannot make amends. I may, in short, deliberately or unwittingly not openly practice allowing others to “see” me instead of the carefully costumed and controlled facsimile I present to much of the world.
My spiritual teacher reminds me to “just notice” all of the above. This then may allow me to willingly open to the honesty which reveals me as I am today; not the “I” I revealed yesterday and not the “I” I will reveal tomorrow but the “I” am today with all that I appear to be and all that I that I am beneath the costume.
I will remind myself that in this brief life experience nothing much matter except that, for today, I do my best to walk the talk; to practice the HOW; to accept my humanness; to invite others to laugh with me and not at me; to clean up my own backyard of each piece of garbage to reveal the flowers which have been hidden beneath those same pieces of garbage.
Written August 30, 2020
Jimmy Pickett
coachpickett.org
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