​Sunday Musings – November 29, 2020
 
For many Christians today, November 29, 2020  begins the season of Advent.   Many associate Advent as the time of looking forward to the birth of Christ – Christmas.   The word is derived from the Latin word adventus which means coming.  This is a translation of the Greek word  parousia. “Scholars believe that during the 4th and 5th centuries in Spain and Gaul, Advent was a season of preparation for the baptism of new Christians at the January feast of Epiphany, the celebration of God’s incarnation represented by the visit of the Magi to the baby Jesus (Matthew 2:1), his baptism on the Jordan River by John the Baptist (John 1:29, and his first miracle at Cana (John 2:1). During this season of preparation, Christians would spend 40 day in penance, prayer and fasting to prepare for this celebration; originally there was little connection  with Christmas.”  (Christianity.com)
 
Christmas, in the year l920, is a secular holiday.  Even many Christians think of Christmas season primarily as a time for gift giving,  competitive decorating, and the gathering of friends and family.  It is not primarily a religious or spiritual holiday although, to be fair, for many it is also a time to open wallets and checkbooks to donate to “the less fortunate” or those euphemistically now called the food insecure. ( Some still use the term hungry.)
 
This year the word advent or coming will trigger hopes/dreams:
 

• The hope for a vaccine for covid-19 and an eventual return to normalcy for homes, schools, small businesses,  weddings, funerals and  perhaps, most of us, the freedom to “see “each other sans mask  and to touch each other.
• Depending on one’s political views a return to a kinder, gentler, more inclusive administration or a 4 year break from the important tasks of “making America great again”.
• A return to helping with homework and not being the ill prepared teacher.
• A return to a more normal work environment and income.
• A break from the heart breaking and back breaking work in hospitals and other health care facilities.
• A reform of a health care system which has been revealed as woefully inadequate to meet the demands of a pandemic or the everyday health needs of most in the United States.
• A rethinking of the profit motive and margin of the pharmaceutical industry.
• A return to or the arrival of a less polarized society.
• A hoped for spiritual awakening which puts people and community above profit.

 
I suppose Advent in the Christian sense is an appropriate time to invite miracles.   Certainly, the historical message of Jesus  and the Buddha, as well as other spiritual leaders, has  proclaimed that miracles are possible.   Oxford dictionary defines the word miracle as “A highly improbable or extraordinary event, development,  or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences….origin:  Middle English via Old French from Latin miraculum ‘object of wonder’, from mirai ‘to wonder’., from ‘wonderful’ “.   The accomplishment of any of the above triggered hopes could certainly be classified as a miracles.
 
I was listening to an interview on the Ezra Klein podcast with the philosopher and psychologist  Allison Gopnik this morning who was reviewing the benefits of both the brain of the child and of the adult.  If we could hang on to the unfiltered, unfocused brain of the very young child while also being able to call upon the more focused, task oriented brain of the healthy adult we would be more open to miracles and more able to design policies which make them manifest reality.   (my words and interpretation and not Dr. Gopnik’s.)
 
As we prepare for new beginnings – new possibilities – which will, for some, he held in the shell of the celebration of advent, we can do our part to live In a world where miracles are possible.
 
Written November 29, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 

​Someone stole my boots
 
Most of us have moments when it feels as if we have nothing left to give; that we have used up all the gas in our gas tanks and will not be able to refuel for the next 1000 miles.  At the same time, we may feel as if there is no one else to take care of our infant child, no one else to tend to the business, no one else to make sure the hungry neighbor has food, or no one else to cover others in a combat situation.  I call these my humpty dumpty moments.  I know that if I stop for a second I will fall, break into a million pieces and no one will be able to put me back together again.   Yet very often I find that I complete whatever task I need to complete.  I may not have dome my best job, but I did what needed to be done and I am still in one piece.  I often then wonder how I managed.   Perhaps, without me noticing someone else finished the task. Perhaps someone secretly gave me a massive dose of the right vitamins.
 
It is probably the case that no one intervened.   Most likely, I kept putting one foot in front of the other and without consciously realizing it I took enough steps to reach the destination.   I often do this when riding my bike for the first time in the spring. I know I cannot make it to the top of the hill, but I can make it to the next  tree or whatever marker I have chosen as a focus.  Eventually I find  myself at the top of the hill.
 
How does one do this?  How does one keep going when it feels as of one does not have any bootstraps by which to pull myself up; when it feels as if someone stole one’s boots?
 
Obviously there are times when one does not have any boots; when one does not have the resources, one needs to accomplish a task and has no way of obtaining those resources.   The boots or resource one is missing may be actual shoes, drivers license, gas for one’s vehicle, telephone or some other essential.   On the other hand, the resource one needs may be an internal one such as the strength to go to work; the energy to take care of one’s child; the resolve to finish a task for school or work; or the time to stop to help a stranger in trouble.    In these instances, one may find that if one does not feed the internal chatter one can accomplish more than one feels one could,.  There are many stories of someone lifting a car off of a trapped person, an exhausted person reaching out to help a sick family member or neighbor or accomplishing some other seemingly impossible task.  In those instances, one acted without thinking.   One did not stop to question whether one had the energy, strength or time.  One just acted.   It is when we begin to feed the internal chatter; when one questions whether one can do something that one is unable to act.   Very frequently if one is assisting one’s child or someone else for whom one feels responsible one does not even ask the question of whether one has the energy or the strength,  One just acts. 
 
It is true that one first needs legs to wall, but one does not need legs to move about.  I know a number of people who manage to move about using other parts of their body. It is true that one needs gas to operate a vehicle, but I know people who will beg, borrow, or steal gas if their child has a medical emergency but would not do that for themselves. While it is important to recognize and accept our limitations it is also important to honor the power of the mind.  As soon as one questions whether or not one can accomplish a task; as soon as one starts telling oneself one cannot do something,  the more likely it is that one cannot do the task no matter what it is.
 
A supportive friend, doctor, parent, teacher or therapist will respect the feelings of an individual while, at the same time, support them in tapping into that reserve of strength and energy we all have .    We are the engine who could.   If, however, there truly is no engine the train cannot move.  There may, however, be a way to commandeer that engine.   The mind is the chief engine of the human body.  If the mind is saying some task cannot be done, it cannot be done. If the mind is saying that it feels as if it cannot be done, one may want to allow for the possibility, that, in fact, it can be done.  One may be so tired it feels as if we no longer have boots but check your numb feet.  One may not have lost one’s boots after all.
 
Written November 28. 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 

The pot and the kettle.
 
One of Grandma Fannie’s sage reminders was “The pot is calling the kettle black.”   As we know both are black.  She and other adults I knew as a child were, of course, attempting to remind one of the dangers of judging another person.  When one is judging another, one is not focused on facing that all of us can be just as unkind or thoughtless as the person of whom one is being critical.   Since Grandma Fannie spiritual framework was the Christian religion she might reinforce the lesson de jour by reminding one that Jesus was purported to have said, “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the bean out of thine own eye, and then shall thou see clearly to cast out the mole out of thy brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5 KJV).
 
I was remined of these lessons while reading a report that Purdue Pharma had recently been found guilty of three criminal charges related to opioid addiction;  the company admitted it had lied about having an effective program to prevent prescription drugs from being diverted to the black market; that it paid doctors for a speakers program which was designed to get them to write more prescriptions for its painkillers, and paid an electronic medical records company to send doctors more information on patients with the goal of getting them to prescribe more opioids
 
Purdue will pay a significant fine and the family which owns the company will pay an additional amount to settle civil suits.   The reaction of many individuals, including some parents of those who have struggled with addiction, was sadly predictable.  They wanted the guilty parties to be convicted of crimes and sent to prison.    Given that we continue to convict and send many addicts to prison this desire is not surprising.
 
Certainly, if we as a society are going to send those who commit criminal acts to feed their addiction to prison it would make sense to send those who are complicit in causing and facilitating addiction to drugs such as prescriptions opioids to also be convicted of crimes and sent to prison.
 
Perhaps we need to consider the following:
 

• Convicting and sending those with a primary diagnosis of addiction is not cost effective or successful treatment of the addictive disorder.
• Addiction is a disease and not a criminal offense.
• We live in a society where success is often defined by how much money one makes or has.
• We pay CEOs and other chief executives very large salaries because of what it says about relative worth and not because anyone is worth that much money or feel they need that much money to live.
• Attachment or addiction to profit as an indication of success is no different than addiction to alcohol or other drugs. Looking to people, places and things outside of oneself to prove one’s worth never works and is self-perpetuating.

 
Basically, I am suggesting:
 

• The behavior of pharmaceutical companies whose mission is to make money irrespective of their stated mission is no different than that of the person addicted to alcohol and other drugs,
• Many of we parents have taught our children that money, titles, things, and status determine one’s worth.
• We, as a society, are complicit in creating the addict; the person looking to run from themselves with alcohol, other drugs food, sex, money, prestigious degrees, titles, or things.
• Certainly, Purdue and other companies should help finance addiction treatment, but the long term, basic need is for a culture which values all people for who they are and the skills and talents they contribute to creating a just, inclusive, spiritually healthy community.

 
There is clear evidence that not only drugs, but patterns of thoughts change how the brain functions.  The thinking of the owners and other executives of companies such as Purdue Pharma is just as addictive as the thinking of the son or daughter who is addicted to opioids and other drugs.  Perhaps we need a cultural and spiritual shift and not more punishment.   Perhaps it is time for the kettle to quit calling the pot black.
 
Written November 26, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 



 
 

Vomit
 
Most of us, at times, find ourselves filled with bile; either the physical kind or the emotional/verbal kind. At that point, one may well need to safely vomit.  If the physical type , it is best if one can make it to the bathroom or some other convenient receptable which can later be cleaned.   Most of us know to make an effort to do this.   We are responsible for the cleanup.   
 
We also, at times, find that we need to verbally vomit.  Verbal vomit is not a carefully thought out, logical, reasonable, compassionate, spiritually centered, problem solving approach.  It is an ugly, illogical, smelly, blaming, reactionary group of words carried on the back of anger which can be very hurtful and potentially damaging to any relationship.     Most parents have vomiting moments when they have exhausted their supply of parenting energy and are ready to resign from their role.  They know that they were never intended to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
 
Most spouses also have a vomiting moment when it seems as if there is nothing one respects or likes about their partner who has no skill or habits  one needs in a partner. In fact, the partner has just frayed one’s remaining nerve and is responsible for causing one to go off the deep end and to call upon one’s evil, identical twin to eviscerate one’s partner while one enjoying the performance from the comfort of one’s favorite chair.
 
Admitting that one has these vomit moments is a symptom of emotional and spiritual health.  Not recognizing that one is about to vomit and thinking one is even approximately sane and justified in vomiting on another is not kind, advisable or remotely healthy for the relationship with the object of one’s vomit.
 
In other words,  it is never advisable, kind or remotely therapeutic to vomit on another person.  Vomit is vomit is vomit.  Vomit must be expelled but not on the object of one’s vomit or displaced on another person or even the family pet.   One can, however, share it with a friend, a therapist, or another safe person as long as one identifies it for what it is.  I often get a, phone call, text, email, snail mail note, or drawing which is clearly labeled as vomit.  The agreement is that I will listen or read it, acknowledge that I got it and then discard or delete it.  There is no need to comment on it or otherwise respond.   Once one has reached that point of needing to vomit one cannot move on until one vomits. The important point is one does not pretend as if it is something other than what it is.
 
Accepting our humanness and giving ourselves healthy ways of dealing with our various emotional states is a sure sign of spiritual growth.   I personally find it impossible to relate to the person who claims to be always spiritually centered and never has a need to vomit.  That is far removed from the person I am.
 
Written November 24, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

​Sunday Musings – November 22, 2020
 
In the United States today begins a week which is normally devoted to preparation to either host Thanksgiving dinner or to travel to the home of family of origin or family of choice to celebrate a holiday known as Thanksgiving.  For some it is another of those holidays about which one has mixed feelings.  Certainly, many of us have much for which to be grateful.  For others, gratitude has to be measured against the background  of loses; small and profound losses related to the visit of covid-19, tragic losses because of addiction and other diseases which steal the soul of children, partners, friends and others; loses of political dreams or ambitions, and losses of historical illusions about who we are as a nation and as individuals.  
 
I suspect that there are no individuals, families or groups whose gratitude has not been diluted by losses this year.  Of course, loss can also be relative.  While many mourn the loss of being able to safely gather and even to view each other without protective masks, others are mourning the loss of the ability to provide housing, food and other necessities for themselves and their families.  While some see the swelling of their financial portfolios, others have exhausted their checking and savings accounts. Some managed to hang on longer because of the unemployment stimulus payments which they saved in case covid-19 continued to directly and indirectly affect income.  For many those savings have long been spent.
 
Perhaps the most profound loss of all is the loss of ability by many to share divergent political and cultural views while maintaining mutual, even if begrudging respect.  For some that is not an accurate statement.  Many knew there was never any guarantee of respect; racism, sexism, homophobia, and other cultural and social constructs guaranteed expendability at the whim of politicians and others.
 
There is one group of “turkeys” which will be spared loss this Thanksgiving holiday; those 20 pound and larger turkey will not grace many family tables this year.  Many families will celebrate with only the immediate family and, thus, share , at most, a 12-pound turkey; perhaps 15 pounds if some family members are particularly fond of leftovers.  Other human turkeys who have failed to promote a more just, accepting and compassionate country , may  find their exclusionary approach leading to their own exclusions from the so-called spoils of war.
 
Yet, given the reality of all the above, many of us will find much for which to give thanks this thanksgiving.   More than anything we have seen the strengths and weaknesses of this nation.  What we do with this knowledge will determine our future.   How brightly we shine the light on our strengths and limitations will determine the extent of our spiritual growth as a nation and as individuals.   We know that  “knowing ourselves” – being forced to look at ourselves – is an essential gift necessary for spiritual growth.  We have survived  and now it is time to thrive. Thriving is possible but only with courage, an acceptance of our strengths and limitations as humans and, of course a strong sense of humor.
 
Written November 22, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org



 
 
 
 

Home​

I arrived in Tulsa November 6, closed on the sale of a condo and began to get acquainted with what was to be my new home. It was not yet a home but a shell providing shelter.  An air mattress and one small pan with which to cook plus, of course, the computer and a working bathroom were all my I needed to begin the process of registering the car, opening bank accounts and, most importantly, getting a library card.   By Monday I was ready to virtually meet with clients. The week passed quickly.  Saturday  evening, the 14th,  the movers arrived with furniture and 90 + boxes.   With the help of two of my sisters,  one of my nephews and the very efficient condo handy person,  by this morning I was ready to bake a pie, arranger fresh flowers and appreciate the smell of fresh coffee while chatting with family and other friends via the magic of the internet.  While the visit of COVID-19 has slowed down the process of getting my Oklahoma drivers licenses and exploring some local  attractions, I am feeling at home.

Early this morning I received a note via the internet that a young man with/for whom I worked for many years has been arrested and will likely be returned to the only home in which he knows how to function - a prison.   This young man has spent a majority of his 44 years in various penal institutions and although he loathes being in prison he also, in some important ways, feels more comfortable there.  The penal system has long branded him an angry, dangerous man and in so doing has molded the child into the person they accused him, to be.\

At the core of all humans that I know is the desire and “need” to have a home.  I and others in the United States approach what is known as Thanksgiving Day - a day which can be complicated by its history but which for many of all backgrounds is a day to gather with family and share a meal.  For many sharing a meal - making a place at the table is both a cultural and spiritual tradition.  Christians, for examples, celebrate the symbolic invitation to be a sacred guest of the radical teacher Jesus no matter religion, race, or other social constructs.

In my limited exploration of the city of Tulsa I have already become aware of the homeless.  I know that the homeless include the mentally ill, those traumatized by domestic violence or other war experiences and those who have learned in other circumstances that there is no walled space which can be trusted to be a safe home.  It also includes the increasing number which do not have a place in an economy favors the 1%.

As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday many of us will respect the dangers of Covid-19 and gather with only I immediate family.   Some will be creative and gather for various meals in intimate settings many times over.   Some will defy all warnings and risk large family gatherings thinking...  Thinking what?

Many have posited that home is where the heart is.  Heart, in my mind, is about connection.   What makes my home a home is all the reminders of those who have nurtured my heart and my soul.   I have many such associations with the pie I just baked, with the artwork, books and each piece of furniture.   The energy of all those who have made my home a home is contained in each of these and in the core of who I am.  I am never alone.  While I am grateful to have these physical reminders and space in which to enjoy them, the hundreds, if not thousands of spirits which fill every corner of his small condo, invite me home.  If I accomplish anything worthwhile in the days to come it will be because I am held in this circle of love which I call home.
 
Written November 19, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
 
 

​Sunday Musings  - November 15, 2020
 
Once again this week I was often reminded of the Charles Dickens’ quote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”  (A Tale of Two Cities)
 
Certainly it would be easy to fall into the darkness of despair in these United States.  Politically it seems we are more divided than ever and poised for a battle over control of the seat of our government or one branch of it.  Economically and medically Covid-19 seems to challenge the capacity of a health care system which was already the most expensive of any nation and which left many unable to access or afford care.  Emotionally and spiritually, we may be the loneliest and most disconnected we have ever been.  We are disconnected from the what is most sacred about her humanness; from each other and from mother earth. Some such as Arthur Brooks maintain that the most disconnected may be we males between the ages of 60 and 70+.   
 
In my work as a professional counselor I often asked individuals, “What  are your core values?  What are your spiritual goals?”   If the person is an architect I might ask, “How would you like individuals to treat each other in the building or structure you are designing?”  If a professional fund raiser, I might ask, “Does the mission or the purpose of the cause or organization for which you are being paid to raise funds concern you?"   A more general question I ask is, “Are tasks or people more important?  Is your primary goal, whether stopping to purchase a quart of milk or attending a board meeting, to have positive and life affirming relationships or to accomplish tasks?”
 
Covid-19 is challenging all of us to put each other at risk by gathering without masks and failing to social distance, to practice safe behavior, or to find creative ways to stay in touch. Covid-19 is also making us even more aware of the gaps in our health care system; gaps of which many of us have been acutely aware for a long time. It is also reminding many of the fragility of our capitalistic economic system; a system which is designed to avoid the needs and aspirations we share with each other.
 
Politically, it is a time when many of us find it difficult to have a discussion about important issues.  It seems easiest to throw pronouncements at each other.
 
Daily I have exchanges with others instead of discussions.  I attempt to avoid exchanging sound bites with others but I find myself, at times, at a loss for words.  It is easy for even my silence to become a sound bite.
 
Arthur Brooks, the author and think tanker, talks and writes about how to build a constructive life.  He maintains that “There’s almost nothing truly meaningful we accomplish which does not have pain or loss as a part of it.”(Arthur Brooks: The Washingtonian Interview by Benjamin Wofford, November 10, 2020).  Mr. Brooks also maintains that “The secret of happiness are faith, family, friends and work where you serve others…”
 
I have often maintained that we need to be teaching children not only the mechanics of math, writing, and reading  but, most importantly, the importance of asking what sort of world we want to build with these skills? We need to ask how the skills we are learning are going to lead to being part of a universe which complements all the other parts.   We are all part of a whole.
 
As I resettle in a new home in a town I knew only for a couple of years in high school; as a town in which I attended high school while working nearly 40 hours a week, I want/need to be asking how I can contribute to this community.  Whether I am talking with the security guard or the person in charge of managing the building and its services, the clerk at the library at the exquisite downtown Tulsa public library, the clerk at the tag or title agency, or the lovely manager of local bank at which I opened accounts,  I need to know what I am bringing to each interaction?  Am I bringing a sense of loving presence, a sense of community which can survive and thrive during the visit of Covid-19; a faith that beneath the political rhetoric we are all on the same team with the same goal.
 
These may be the best of times in which we believe there is a light which many of us have forgotten to turn on.   These may be the best of times; times when we become honest about our shortcomings and trusting of our ability to be more than our differences.  It is a time of opportunity to celebrate what happens when we make relationships primary.  
 
Written November 14,2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

​Class
 
Our mother was often shameful of our poverty.
 
Holes in our jeans.
 
Church and school shoes the same.
 
Worn until the cobbler, our father, could no longer replace or repair.
 
The five of us living in a 3 rooom house.
 
Rented or were we, as some maintained, squatters?
 
I was recently reminded that Jesus did not end slavery,  join the Pharisees or Sadducees
 
or say that these sectors were the same.
 
I was reminded that Christianity did not abolish the class differences.
 
In fact, some might maintain that many church officials promote class differences.
 
Ornately and expensively designed vestments, golden chalices, marble tables, and other symbols of
 
wealth and, thus, the importance of the church and the clergy?
 
Some would maintain that Jesus confers wealth on those who please him.
 
I was reminded that the parent’s job is to teach children to value themselves and not date people who
 
are clean out of their social group or class.
 
Must we reexamine what it means to be educated? 
 
Does education equate with degrees?
 
Does education teach us how to treat others with love and respect?
 
Is education about size of house, choice of music, designer clothes, joining the right country club?
 
What is this thing called class?
 
Grandma Fannie sewed most of her clothes, loved books, studied spiritual teachers, fed the hungry,
 
tended the garden, cared for the sick, and counted her pennies.
 
She was, by all accounts, a poor country woman although she had also lived in a big city for a time.
 
Did she lack class?
 
Did Martin Luther King or Eleanor Roosevelt have class or status or ?
 
Funny word class?
 
Is class tending to the poor while ensuring that one is always the giver and never the receiver?
 
If Jesus had attempted to end slavery and abolish class distinctions would that have been understood by those who wrote about him?
 
Would such an interpretation of his teachings have been understood or accepte at that point in history?
 
Does meanness of spirit mixed in a golden bowl create class?
 
What is class?
 
Does one have to shop at Harrods in London to authenticate one’s class status?
 
A now deceased friend thought so.
 
Her lower class plumber did not understand cleaning up the toilet overflow with her very status imbued Harrod towels was a clear sign of his lower class status.
 
Interesting how a few simple statements create such a musing poem.
 
Am I writing about class, emotional history or the extent of our spiritual emptiness.
 
What is in the chalice?
 
Dare we look?  Or taste?  Or smell?
 
Written November 12, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 

Confronting the fear of change​

For many, this period of history will be remembered as a time of enormous change; as a time to re-examine much of what has been learned about the history of these United States; the history of the use of race, gender, financial status and other constructs to determine individual and collective worth.   Some are responding to the insistent invitation with a sigh of relief.  The sigh of relief is expelling many generations of bile; the bile resulting from being forced fed suffocating lies.   Others are responding with angry denial which attempts to hide the fear; the fear of not knowing who one is if one is not the more deserving.  If one listens one might hear such statements as: “There is no such thing as racism. We are not a violent nation. While male privilege is a myth.  Anyone can achieve “the American dream.   There is no glass ceiling. 
If any of us tell ourselves lies often enough we begin to believe them.  We are then no longer lying.  At least one is no longer consciously lying. The truth teller than is accused of being the liar and must be stopped.   After all, one cannot function with lies being the foundation.

It is not surprising many countries are experiencing a sense of polarization which has previously been relegated to those who never had the temporary luxury of living the lies.  

As long as passionate fear is the ruling force, the polarization will continue to increase.  I am reminded of an relaxation exercise during which one leans into the tension until finally one reaches that stage of tenseness which feels as if one is going break.  Yet, what happens is the area of tension becomes so tight that it is forced to let go.

Instead of resisting or attempting to rid ourselves of fear, it is time to lean into it.  Only by learning into it will we begin to reach a point of release.  

No matter how it feels, we are all stronger than our fear.   None of us will break from leaning into fear.   We will be broken if we continue to attempt to hide from the fear; if we continue to attempt to rest on the foundation of lies.

Regardless of the imperfect and often corrupt institutions which distort the teachings of wise men and women, we are well served by returning to their simple, sage reminders.  Such is the case with some of the teachings attributed to Jesus. For example, in the New Testament verses of John 8:31-32.  (ESV) “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him,
‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”    One can find similar statements from all wise teachers.   Socrates said, “Know thyself.”   This reminder was inscribed on the pronaos of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi along with “nothing to excess” and “surety brings ruin.  In taking the risk of knowing oneself one  faces the lies one has told oneself.   Only then does one experience real freedom. 
This is true for all of us as individuals, organizations and nations. 

This time in history can be viewed as a frightening time or as a time for the possibility of freeing ourselves from the lies which have kept all of us prisoners for far too long.  It is patently true that we have nothing to fear but fear itself.  We are not the fear which attempts to imprisons us in the historic lies of sexism, racism, homophobia and all the other restricting labels.
 
Written November 10, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

​Sunday Musings – November 7, 2020
 
This is my first Sunday in my new home at 410 West 7th Street, Condo 1624, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74119.   Obviously my move to my new home is minor news compared to the apparent outcome of the local, state and national elections in the United States, the damage wrought in places by mother nature, ongoing wars, and the cycle of life.  I personally know of several deaths including that of my friend Bill and the mother of the step daughter of another. I also know of a number of people living with serious illness.  Of course all of us are living which a chronic, serious condition called life which will be terminal today, tomorrow, or sometime in the relatively near future.
 
The fact that I am relatively healthy, blessed to be able to purchase a 1 bedroom luxury condo, to now be close to members of my biological family, to have enough of all the essentials and to have work which I enjoy are blessings which I have not earned.  Although I am as deserving as every other person I am not more deserving than anyone else.  I did not decide to be born with white male privilege, or with circumstances which has allowed me to have and enjoy these luxuries.  I do not believe that any of us choose the circumstances which affect the opportunities which are afforded to some of us.  We may, if we are lucky,  be in a place which allows us to “notice” the opportunities and to take advantage of them.  There are so many factors which affect our ability to “see” and to take that step forward. 
 
These thoughts dominate my mind this morning as I consider the fact that on the left and the right in this and many other countries many individuals are very angry.  My beliefs is that the anger is an attempt to deal with or perhaps avoid the pain and the fear.  If one responds to the anger one is likely to increase the pain and the fear which is likely to lead to more anger. Increased anger is likely to lead to more destruction which is likely to lead to more angry reactions to the anger which is likely to ….
 
It seems that often I am in the minority in thinking that we must respond to the pain underlying the anger in a meaningful way.  Responding in a patronizing, pat on the head manner is not going to comfort anyone.   Obviously, we cannot do anything suggesting that it is okay to hurt others.  Yet, we can validate the pain and address the issues which are causing the pain.  It may take some extended dialogue to reach a point in agreeing on the cause of the pain. I am not convinced that the pain is caused by race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or other social constructed differences.  I am also not convinced that the pain is caused by abortion or proposed restriction of gun ownerships.   Certainly many have very strong and firmly held beliefs about some of these issues. 
 
Identifying the root causes of the pain may take an enormous investment of time, energy and a willingness to actively listen.    We can only truly listen to those we respect.  We can only respect those we believe are our equals. Both sides have, it seems to me, outdone themselves in looking down on those with whom they disagree.   I believe if  we truly want to heal an individual,  a family, a city, region, state or nation we have to approach everyone with love wrapped in respect and with respect wrapped in love.
 
Written November 8, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org