During my brief visit to Wheeling and Pittsburgh this week I was able to attend the funeral of Rod Monroe. We had known each other for many years and had formed a relationship, which was close enough to know we loved each other and close enough to aggravate each other at times. Actually, I was more likely to be one who aggravated Rather than vice versa.
Having now lived 75 years and having lived through such historic times as WWII, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Iraq and Afghanistan war, the devastation of AIDS “ and normal” deaths such as Rod’s, I am used to saying goodbye and dealing with the reality of the fact that no matter how many human years we live it is only a blip on the calendar.
Knowing and accepting this does not mean that I am unemotional when a friend dies or immune to the “feelings” that what we consider old age should be the natural end of life. It does mean that I know that each death is a reminder to not waste a moment with anger, resentments, or other negative feelings.
Rod, as are all of us, was an easy man to love as long as he showed up. Sometimes, the “disease” of looking to something outside of himself to fill that inner void stole moments just as it does with all of us. Of course, in order for me to experience Rod’s love I also had to show up emotionally and spiritually.
The last several months (I have no idea of how long) I texted Rod every day. Often he would return the text. Sometimes he was the first to text. At the funeral one of the Vineyard ministers said that Rod talked about being healthier the last six months of his life than he had ever been. I think what Rod meant by that statement was that he found it easier to stay clear about what was important and what not important. While it was important that he had followed his dream of owning and raising Greyhound racing dogs, the fact that he was financially more successful than some and had, thus, managed to buy some stuff, did not tell us anything important about him and his life – the dot between the years he lived on this earth.
We possibly could say that Rod experienced a lot of healing during the last months on his life despite being very sick with the cancer and the cancer treatment. I suspect that sometimes we humans confuse healing with being cured. Although at times we can speak of a cure in the sense that there is no longer any evidence of a certain disease in our body, we may still be emotionally and spiritually miserable. Thus, we might say that we have not healed. We may now just be miserable with less physical pain.
It would seem that Rod took an accelerated course in healing the past six months or so of his life. This does not mean he never stumbled. He was, after all, still very human.
At the funeral, all who spoke reminded us to learn from Rod’s example and do our best to show up and love just for today.
So today, hats off to Rod and the circle of love, which he helped to form.
Thanks Rod.
Having now lived 75 years and having lived through such historic times as WWII, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Iraq and Afghanistan war, the devastation of AIDS “ and normal” deaths such as Rod’s, I am used to saying goodbye and dealing with the reality of the fact that no matter how many human years we live it is only a blip on the calendar.
Knowing and accepting this does not mean that I am unemotional when a friend dies or immune to the “feelings” that what we consider old age should be the natural end of life. It does mean that I know that each death is a reminder to not waste a moment with anger, resentments, or other negative feelings.
Rod, as are all of us, was an easy man to love as long as he showed up. Sometimes, the “disease” of looking to something outside of himself to fill that inner void stole moments just as it does with all of us. Of course, in order for me to experience Rod’s love I also had to show up emotionally and spiritually.
The last several months (I have no idea of how long) I texted Rod every day. Often he would return the text. Sometimes he was the first to text. At the funeral one of the Vineyard ministers said that Rod talked about being healthier the last six months of his life than he had ever been. I think what Rod meant by that statement was that he found it easier to stay clear about what was important and what not important. While it was important that he had followed his dream of owning and raising Greyhound racing dogs, the fact that he was financially more successful than some and had, thus, managed to buy some stuff, did not tell us anything important about him and his life – the dot between the years he lived on this earth.
We possibly could say that Rod experienced a lot of healing during the last months on his life despite being very sick with the cancer and the cancer treatment. I suspect that sometimes we humans confuse healing with being cured. Although at times we can speak of a cure in the sense that there is no longer any evidence of a certain disease in our body, we may still be emotionally and spiritually miserable. Thus, we might say that we have not healed. We may now just be miserable with less physical pain.
It would seem that Rod took an accelerated course in healing the past six months or so of his life. This does not mean he never stumbled. He was, after all, still very human.
At the funeral, all who spoke reminded us to learn from Rod’s example and do our best to show up and love just for today.
So today, hats off to Rod and the circle of love, which he helped to form.
Thanks Rod.
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