​Sunday Musings – September 30, 2018
 
The day began with a clear reminder that:
 

• I am not in control.
• I often need to ask for help.

 
The issue which prompted these reminders was the fact that I was not able to receive calls on my phone.    Numerous attempts to locate and use on line help failed to resolve the problem.   After nearly 2 hours I called the phone support staff.   By this time, I had missed my gym workout and breakfast. The problem was resolved, although I still have no idea what was causing the problem and only a vague idea of how to fix it should it reoccur. 
 
Obviously, this is not the first time this week I have had to relearn these basic truths.  In my personal life concerning other people, places or things, my professional life and my community life, I am daily reminded that I am not in control and I often need help.
 
I am not even in control of whether my brain is going to work today or even if I am alive.  I am at that age when friends who are the same age as I or even younger are exhibiting the symptoms of dementia or they are dying.   They are experiencing various stages of memory loss, disorientation, and other cognitive deficits.   In my personal and professional life, I also come into contact with those experiencing their own mental illness, including active addiction or that of a loved one.  There are also those who are experiencing traumatic injuries to the brain. These may arrive in the form of a brain tumor, other illness or an emotional trauma resulting in such disorders as post-traumatic stress disorders.
 
Despite the fact that it is now possible to measure or track much of what is happening in the brain, there was still many who self-righteously chastise those who are not able to exhibit rigorous, disciplined decision making and the exercise of free will.  I understand the reluctance and fear of facing the fact that we have so little control over our brains.  Certainly, physical, mental and spiritual exercises as well as the food we eat, some medications and other health habits can help keep one’s brain as healthy as possible.  Yet, at any moment, our ability to pretend as if we always have free will can be gone.
 
For today I seem to have control over:
 

• Showing up and paying attention to what others are saying, although to be honest there is a fair amount of chatter in my brain.
• Doing my best to love unconditionally and noticing, without judgment, when I “slip” into judging people or situations.

 
When I notice myself making a big deal out of situations with people or things such as my phone,  I will again remind myself to just breathe and notice what I am doing.  I will also remind myself that there are no big deals in this brief life journey. There are behaviors or events which leave me very sad, frustrated or confused. There is behavior which will have long term reminders of what happens when we do not honor the sacredness of the earth, the universe(s) and all the life therein.  Yet, once again, I must remind myself of the wisdom of the first verse of the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr
 
         God grant me the serenity to accept the thing is I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
 
In the words of Porky Pig on Looney Toons, “That’s all folks.”
 
Written September 30, 2018
 
-
 
 
 

​Load up.  Fire!
 
Last night and this morning I read about the committee hearing in the United States regarding the potential nomination of Brett Kavanaugh for a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court of the United States.  The hearing featured passionate testimony from Mr. Kavanaugh and from Dr. Ford who accuses Mr. Kavanaugh of sexually assaulting her at a party when they were both in high school.    Much of the world and I have listed to or read the accusations and counter accusations for some weeks.   These accusations – not debates – come at a time when there has been many accusations and consequent actions as women come together in what has come to be called the MeToo Movement to report their history of being treated as sexual objects and often the subjects of sexual abuse or harassment.    At the very same time the Roman Catholic Church is increasingly being publicly called out on its history of failing to address the fact that many priests sexually abused men, women and children. Many have also lived a life which forced them to uphold a policy and doctrine of condemning many sexual behaviors while feigning celibacy and often impulsively acting out sexually with both minors and adults.    The Roman Catholic Church leaders are now vowing to publicly out the list of priests who they know have sexually abused others and often to turn over files to legal authorities so that they can punish the priests as criminals.
 
It seems the lines in all these situations have been carefully drawn and labeled as:

• Victims
• Perpetrators
• Bad People
• Good People
• Sinners
• Saints
•  Criminals
• Law abiding citizens

 
A part of me has always envied those who seem to be able to so clearly divide the world with such labels.   This makes living in the world very simple. One always knows who to treat well, who to condemn, who to invite to dinner and who to keep out.    One knows who to put in jail and who to allow to enjoy  the benefits of a so called free society.  If one is a religious person one also knows with who they will spend eternity and who they will be able to avoid because they will be in that place of the eternally dammed.   Yet, try as I might, I have not been able to put myself or others into such neat categories.  Oh, sure, I might have a moment when I impulsively or passionately label someone, but I always know that I am or could be a person deserving of that label.
 
This morning I listened to an August 2011 rebroadcast of the On Being podcast featuring a conversation between the host Krista Tippett and Frances Kissling.    Ms. Kissling posits:
 

“If we are interested in understanding each other, and if we are ultimately interested in a policy that reflects what is good in the concerns of those who disagree, the only way we’re going to get any sense of what that is, is if we can acknowledge what is good in the position of the other, acknowledge what troubles us about our own position.  You know I don’t understand how you can work on an issue for 35 years and never change your mind about anything.”
 
Ms. Kissling uses the examples of the issues of abortion and same sex relationships.   She does not suggest that the goal is to find common ground or to agree on the primary issues, but she does suggest that each side may have valid points and points which they, if honest, are less sure about.
 
I am, if honest, concerned about some of the possible decisions of Mr. Kavanaugh should he become the next United States Supreme Court Judge.  In my mind that is not a reason for the Senate to reject his appointment. I believe he may have sincere views of the United States Constitution and how it applies to such issues as abortion.  I also believe that our interpretation of the United States Constitution needs to be informed by what we understand to be the intent of the Nation’s founders and the acceptance of the limitations of the cultural and religious understandings of that time.    I have no idea if Mr. Kavanaugh sexually abused Dr. Ford when they were both in high school and possibly drunk.  I do believe that if he did so, he should be able to safely say it and talk about how this experience affects his thinking today without it necessarily preventing him from being appointed to the important position of Supreme Court Judge.
 
On the issue of abortion, I am pro-choice, but I cannot imagine, even as a father, having to make a choice to terminate a pregnancy. I can easily admit to having used methods to prevent a pregnancy and believe I could be okay with a partner using the morning after pill.  I am also acutely aware that I am not a female and my feelings cannot fully identify with those of a female.  I believe that most of our efforts need to be focused on preventing pregnancies so that no woman or very few women ever have to consider the question of abortion.   
 
 
Whether it is these  issues or the issues which the Roman Catholic Church must address, we can either keep labeling each other and throwing verbal missiles at each other which will polarize, create more problems and help us successfully avoid resolving any of the important issues which present us from living harmoniously with each other and the universe or we can resolve to more accurately and honestly diagnose the issues and explore solutions which will allow us to respect our individual positions, live together more harmoniously and heal.
 
Written September 28, 2018
 
                                     
 

​Conquering the grumps
 
Sometimes one wakes up and discovers that the grumps have arrived during the night.  One did not invite them over, deliberately leave the door unlocked or the window open, but there they are, firmly settled in the core of one’s being.  As a child,  if the grumps arrived when I was staying with Grandma Fannie, she would suggest that I get back in bed and emerge from the right side of the bed.   Later she might quote Ralph Waldo Emerson who said “You become what you think about all day long.”   (goodreads.com) I did not appreciate the fact that Grandma Fannie acted as if I had deliberately invited the grumps to visit. I knew, however, that I best act as if the I had gotten back out of bed on the right side into the basket of sunshine which would color all my thoughts for the day.    My pretending did not always chase away the grumps, but, as much as I hated to admit it, often without realizing it, I had started feeling less grumpy or at least had forgotten to focus on how crappy life was. 
 
As I began to move through my teenage years, I began to realize that it was my job to internally ignore Grandma Fannie’s advice and stick with the truth that my world was indeed crappy and it was going to be a crappy day.  I became determined to not even pretend as if there was that basket of sunshine on the other side of the bed. To be sure I did not openly defy Grandma Fannie by refusing to symbolically get back into bed and get out the right side.  I was not that stupid and to be truthful I really did not, even then, want to displease this woman who was fixing me a healthy breakfast with fresh eggs. She even allowed me a little coffee in the cup of fresh cream.  Still, I said to myself, “I will not pretend there is anything to be positive about. I had to go to that boring school and face the bullies.  Obviously, Grandma Fannie could not realize how crappy life was. The grumps simply confirmed what I already knew.
 
I wish that I could pinpoint when the spirit of Grandma Fannie began to take over part of my brain.    I cannot and, yet, I know at some point I accepted that there might be some wisdom in replacing the negative thoughts of the grumps with some positive thoughts.  I even began to do a gratitude list of those things for which I knew I should be grateful.  Actually, at some level I had to admit – only perhaps to myself – that I was grateful for indoor plumbing, electricity, central heat, a closet full of clothes, and people that cared about me.   Later, the list might begin to expand, but there are still mornings when I am only capable of cognitively giving thanks for a cup of coffee with a bit of half and half. 
 
Today medical scientists are much more aware of the mechanism for using positive thoughts to change how one acts and eventually, how one feels.    To be sure, if one is suffering with an acute clinical depression, some other medical condition, a profound grief or disappointment the most positive thoughts may do is to help one stumble from one step to the next. Yet, even then, positive thoughts might help the body to relax a bit and change many aspects of the amazing interactional system which is this human body.  Positive thoughts or a gratitude list do not or should not erase grief, depression or other negative events or situations.  The goal is not to be one of those Pollyanna overly cheerful persons.  One can, however, entertain a variety of feelings and thoughts all at the same time.  One can be very sad when someone one deeply loves dies and at the same time appreciate the support of family and other friends.
 
It is amazing to me that Grandma Fannie was wise enough to appreciate and share the wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson and others who preceded the scientists of today who are  confirming  that indeed “You become what you think about all day long.”.
 
Written September 27, 2018

​The curse of a creative mind
 
I have a friend whose brother is intellectually challenged.  Often my friend remarks that his brother is much more spiritual than him.   His intellectually challenged brother does not complicate his relationship with the God of his understanding, his family or others.  S loves unconditionally.  If his feelings get hurt he lets you know.  When one apologies he is usually quick to forgive and move on. 
 
Those of us who are not intellectually challenged are often spiritually challenged.  We complicate our relationship with the God of our understanding. We question whether this God is a He, She, It, the universe, the interconnections, love, or love or something.   If someone hurts our feelings we often do not lovingly let them know.  We stew about it and may get passive aggressive although they do not have the foggiest idea of what is going on.  We take the behavior of others personally even though it frequently has nothing to do with us.  If heterosexual we assume that every gay or bisexual person desperately wants our body and analyze their friendly motives.     If gay or bisexual we worry that our behavior will be misinterpreted.  Every person who politically disagrees with us is a potential enemy. 
If our spouse is angry or upset we question them about the justification for their anger at us or try to turn it back on them.    If our children are acting out we ask them why they are so ungrateful for all the care we give them
 
We both assume that we possess the power to cause the behavior of others and worry that nothing we do makes a difference. We say we do not care what others think but constantly wonder what others are thinking.
 
Mercy!  It is exhausting to analyze and question everything. 
 
Spiritually I “know” and believe that the all I need to do is to show up, do my best to love unconditionally, accept my humanness and, thus, my strengths and limitations, be accountable, make amends, and laugh a lot.   The last seems to me particularly important.  Laughing with myself and others and not at myself and others is, for me, a significant part of my spiritual journey.  My tendency to over analyze nearly everything is not only exhausting it is the material for good comedy.   There are no complicated issues.  There are issues or machines like my computer which have many interconnected parts.  Yet, each part is simply connected to another part or parts.   Together they may work magic, but the whole is simply a bunch of simple parts.     Life works best when we focus on taking one simple step after another simple step (or if in a wheelchair, one turn of the wheel after another).   While taking that next step I either do so in love – sans expectations – or I hold on to hate, anger, resentments, and doubts.  The latter is exhausting and unproductive.
 
If one hangs around folks working a 12-step recovery program one will often hear someone say, “Keep it simple stupid.”   The use of the word stupid is meant to be an affectionate reminder to both the speaker and the listener that doing the next right thing is not complicated. 
Keep it simple stupid.
 
 
Written September 26, 2018
 
 

​The lure of immediate or instant gratification
 
We live in a world where it is easy to succumb to the lure of immediate or instant gratification. One of the chief attractions of substance use and abuse is that one can either become numb to discomfort or, for a short time, feel better.  Whether one is using a drug such as an opioid, alcohol or marijuana, driving out the BMW showroom in a shiny new car with all the bells and whistles, wearing yet another new outfit or being serviced sexually by another person one feels better temporarily.    Many of us have come to expect to avoid discomfort by acting as if we are the center of the universe.  When the electricity works, the system delivers instant heat or air conditioning, the faucet delivers clean, safe water, the refrigerator keeps food at a safe temperature and even delivers ice cubes on demand our lives are more comfortable.   It is wonderful to go to the grocery store and find the shelves and the bins filled with a wide variety of food products.   It is not difficult to understand why we so easily begin to feel is all these products are now necessities.   Even when camping we may expect luxuries which were formerly only available in the wealthiest of homes.
 
Yet, many of us tell ourselves that we do not understand how so many people fall victim to the disease of addiction people, places, things and substances.   If our attachments are not causing immediate and obvious damages to ourselves and others then we convince ourselves that we are not like those addicts.   The fact that making money to buy more things or have access to more means of immediate gratification even If it means not being available to our families emotionally and spiritually is not the same as what the drug addicts are doing.  We are not “robbing Peter to pay Paul” when we are taking expensive vacations or indulging in other luxuries if we have debt that is due, past due, or for which we are paying an exorbitant amount of interest.
 
We tell ourselves that we can do can ignore spiritual chores without risking spiritual bankruptcy.   There is, in fact, no end to the lies or partial truths we tell ourselves order to reward ourselves with some temporary pleasure or numbness.
 
As long as there are no crisis situations we continue to indulge in behavior which we know – at some level – is very likely to lead to a crisis situation.
 
Playing the tape through requires what the 12-step program calls the HOW of spiritual recovery/growth:  honesty, open mindedness and willingness.   Some part of us almost always knows that eventually action A leads to result B which leads to action C which leads to result D which leads to …      We may tell ourselves and others that we don’t care.  We want what we want when we want it.  We deserve to feel good this moment.   The truth often is that we may get some temporary pleasure or even joy.  We may have a temporary reprieve from some sad or uncomfortable situation.   Yet, if we fail to play the tape through we will not face the fact that long term we either die or have to face the consequences of our decisions- of our failure to play the tape through.  We may even hope for death rather than facing the consequences of our decisions. Yet, often, we awake to find that we have not died and rather than playing the tape through we have, once again, lived the tape to the end.
 
Even if we are not in a 12-step program or do not have a therapist or spiritual advisor we can find someone who will respect and love us enough to guide us in playing the tape through. A true friend does that with and for us.
 
Written September 25, 2018
 
 

The 11 million
Although more than six million Jewish people were victims of the Nazis, more than 5 million non-Jews were also victims.   The yellow star was only one of the badges individual were forced to wear to identify them as “the other”; as those who could be killed, denied basic rights or otherwise legally mistreated by the officials of the Nazi state.  It would be comforting to think that those who supported this theory of the master race (Blue-eyed, blond-haired people of supposedly Nordic Stock or Aryans) were an isolated few such as the under educated who could not find a job. Yet, many researchers have documented that health care professionals, including doctors and psychologists, social scientists such as anthropologist and many others were willing participants in this mass genocide.   Robert Jay Lifton in his book, The Nazi Doctors, details the role of health care professionals and how they justified their role while holding fast to their professional code of ethics or, in the case of physicians, to their commitment to the Hippocratic Oath.   Mentally retarded, the deaf, the blind, the physically disabled, the mentally ill, homosexuals, alcoholics, repeat offenders, those labeled as political enemies of the state and others were targets of elimination.   Forced sterilization of the mentally retarded was one of the early steps in the process of this organized effort to create this delusional society composed only of Aryans.  The Star of David was not the only insignia used to identify these enemies of the people.  There were eight initial badges which could be altered or added to more specifically identify those who were the enemy of the state.  For example, the pink triangle identified the homosexual but that could be alters if the person was also a repeat offended, an alcoholic, mentally defective or otherwise not fit for the master race. 
Yesterday I attended a local production of The Diary of Anne Frank.  During intermission, I was talking to a friend and colleague who has a master’s degree in the social sciences.  He had not previously seen, read or watched the movie of this play. That was not as shocking as his statement that his statement about how difficult it was to imagine that something like this had gone on.  He was thinking that the current wars, the millions of refugees fleeing and living in camps, all those fleeing violence and attempting to immigrate to the United States or other countries, the ongoing oppression and killing of homosexuals and many others in various countries, and the acute mistreatment of those attempting to immigrate to the United States is different than the Nazi era actions.      I was again reminded of the now famous quote by Martin Niemoeller who, as a Lutheran pastor, spent seven years in a concentration camp from 1938 to 1945:
 
“In Germany, the Nazis first came for the Communists and I didn’t speak up because I was not a communist.  Then they came for the Jew and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.  Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionists. Then they came for the Catholics, but I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me.”
I understand that none of us want to deal with the possibility of us or our family being labels as a criminals or as undesirables by the community as large as represented by public officials.   I understand that it is comforting to think of “those people” as different than I.  Yet, we can all be labeled as the other in some way.    The man to whom I was talking lives with a mental illness and is in recovery from active addiction to drugs.   For many he is an undesirable.  As a traditionally attractive, apparent Caucasian, he appears “normal” but many of the policies of this country and many other countries would deny him access to basic needs and rights.  He is able to work and support himself today, but could easily be unable to do so tomorrow. This is true for all of us.  As long as one person is vulnerable we are all vulnerable to be labeled and treated as “the other”. 
Millions of people in the United States whose primary diagnoses is addiction are labeled as criminals and spend years in prison.  This is equally true for many who have a mental illness.   Even among those with the disease of addiction sexual addiction is often grounds for another level of oppression/mistreatment.
Every time we convince ourselves that we are exempt from mistreatment; every time we convince ourselves that we are not one of “the others” we become a co-conspirator in the oppression.    
Delusion, as is true for addiction, does provide a moment of comfort.  Yet, it is imperative that all of us come to terms with the fact that we are all members of the village of humans. Either we are all sacred or none of us are.
We must, as a community, instill in our young people that we have the power to claim our village – one person at a time – one immigrant at a time – one mentally ill personal as time – one addict at a time – one religious minority at a time.
Then as Donna Summers so proudly proclaims, “We will survive”.
Written September 24, 2018
​

​Sunday Musings – September 23, 2018
 
Yesterday I had the opportunity to watch a screening of the new documentary by Elaine McMilliion Sheldon and Kerrin Sheldon, “Recovery Boys”. There was an opportunity to ask questions of Elaine McMillion Sheldon, Dr. Blankenship who developed and heads up the treatment center Jacob’s Ladder and one of the young men and his mother featured in the film. 
 
 
Once again, I was reminded that as a society, despite what we now know about the functioning of the brain of the mentally ill person, we often expect the mentally ill person to use their unhealthy brain to make a healthy decision based on an awareness of how their illness is affecting themselves, their children, and others.  Yet, even if or when there is a part of their brain which is able to consider the needs of their children or others, the ill part of their brain cannot refrain from feeding  the addiction or other illness.  This expectation leads us to criminalize the action of the addict.  In our society in the United States one can only commit someone against their ill to a hospital for treatment if they can be proved to be an immediate threat to their life or the life of another person.  Yet, if we misdiagnose the primary issue as criminal activity our legal system allows for locking up the person and treating them as if they willfully shopped for their sick brain.  Then, once out of jail where they frequently do not receive any significant treatment and are expected to function in a dangerous, unhealthy environment, we withhold many jobs and other essentials from them because they are a convicted felon.
 
The active addict is unable to consistently make decisions based on the needs of other - children or adults.   When I asked a young man if he relapsed because he did not have any hope of ever getting well or because he did not care about how his behavior affected himself and others he said, “I did not care.”  I heard this as his brain was unable to override the desire to feel good by getting high.  Just as surely as the brain of an autistic child may be lacking the mirror image part of the brain which allow for empathy, the brain of the person with addiction and/or other mental illness in unable to either feel empathy or use that part of the brain to override the compulsive desire to consider the needs of others.
 
For many, Sunday is the Sabbath.  Most religions have a Sabbath day. Some religions have many times a day when they must put all other issues or concerns aside to pray.  A central concept of many religions is an acceptance of the fact that all humans “sin” meaning we are all imperfect and are hurtful, at times, to ourselves, others and mother earth.   Most religions require us to confess our sins and ask for the forgiveness of the God of our understanding.   The 12-step program and the Buddhist religion (as I understand its teachings) merely requires that one show up.  In the 12 steps program, one does not even begin to address the ways in which one’s active addiction has affected others until the 4th step.    The Buddhist teachings merely suggest that one notice one’s hurtful behavior and not practice labeling it as good, bad, right or wrong. 
 
In other words, the addict or other mentally ill person must first have some time for the brain to heal before they can begin to consider the needs of themselves or others. 
 
No one heals when we treat them badly.  This morning I was reading some “news” stories and again reminded of the hurtful labels politicians and others apply to each other.  It is as if we believe that:
 

• We or our side has the right answers.
• The other side will come around to our way of thinking – the right way – if we beat them with words, take away basic needs such as food, housing or loving support, or otherwise mistreat them.

 
The prodigal son returns to a father who orders the fatted calf killed and a feast prepared because his son has been lost and now is found.
 
On this Sabbath day in my Christian tradition I will first notice my hurtful ways, welcome myself home and celebrate that I am a member of the community of humans who are no better and no worse than I am.  I will, as did Mr. Rogers, welcome myself and other to the neighborhood where together we can help each other heal and explore healthy and loving ways to live with each other.
 
 
Written September 23, 2018

​“The Times They are A-Changin’”
 
“The Times They are A-Changin’” was the opening song as well as the name of the 1964 album by Bob Dylan.  The last verse of the song would resonate with many today.  It begins:
 
            “Come senators, congressmen
            Please heed the call  
            Don’t stand in the doorway
            …
 
Seth Godin in a 2014 conversation with the host of On Being, Krista Tippett reminds the listener that “when the Industrial Revolution came, there were 20 years when basically everyone in Manchester, England was an alcoholic. Instead of having the coffee carts, they had gin carts that went up and down the streets.  Because it was so hard to shift from being a farmer to sitting in a dark room for 12 hours every day doing what you were told. But we evolve, we culturally evolved to be able to handle a New World Order.”
 
Seth Godin writes a daily blog, Seth’s Blog and is the author of many best-selling books the most recent of which is This is marketing:  You Can’t Be Seen Until You Learn to See.  During the 2014 podcast with Krista Tippett she quotes him:
 
            “Four questions worth answering. Who is your next customer?  You mean that conceptually. Their outlook, hopes, dreams, needs, and wants.  What is the story he told about himself before he met you?  How do you encounter him in a way that he trusts the story you want to tell him about what you have to offer?  What changes are you trying to make in him, his life, his story? And then you wrote, start with this before you spend time on tactics, technology, scalability.”
 
Mr. Godin seems to suggest that it does not matter whether the product is a blog, a book, a new piece of technology, a new food product or a new way of approaching the changing culture in which we find ourselves.  Recently I was listening to a recap of the various approaches over the last several decades to the so-called war on drugs.  I think all of us can agree that they failed miserably.   The various approaches to halting or, at least, significantly slowing down the current opioid epidemic has not been very effective.   Even some of the best treatment centers do not have much success in helping individuals refrain from active, life threatening addiction for a long period of time.    I was encouraged this morning to hear that some school systems are instituting classes on such subjects as decision making.  Certainly, we all need to know the criteria on which we are going to make decisions which will affect one both in the short and long term.  Still, as the high rate of alcohol use in Manchester, England in the beginning of the Industrial Revolution showed, there was other issues which members of the community had to work through.  They had to find a new purpose or connection to the changes which were occurring.  Most people who have spent time working on a farm will tell you that they feel a connection to the earth; a connection to the cycle of life. They also, along with mother nature, enjoy being their own boss. Suddenly during the industrial revolution there was a disconnect with the earth, Mother Nature  and the place of employment. 
 
Many individuals in communities around the world are feeling disconnected. Some are grieving what they have lost. Even if what one loses is a delusion the pain of losing it is still acute.  Some have never felt connected.  I have never spoken to a recovering addict who did not report that before their active addiction they felt disconnected – not a part of.  Frequently during their initial period of addiction, they might have felt connected to a community.  That, too, fades as they find out that the only relationship active addicts can focus on and be true to is the one with their addiction.
 
We could explore applying Seth Godin’s four questions to our approach to those who lives are kidnapped or controlled by addiction.
 
1.  What are the outlook, hopes, dreams, needs and wants of the addict before active addiction to drugs?

• To feel a part of.
• To belong.
• To have a purpose or feel like there is a purpose other than working hard to buy more stuff which has to be maintained which cost more which leads to more work which leads to more stuff to reward oneself which….

2.  What is the story he/she told themselves before they met you?

• You cannot trust anyone.
• Adults do not seem very happy.
• I am different. 
• I do not fit it.
• I do not want to fit in with the adults or other young people I know.

3.  How do you encounter him/her in a way what he/she trusts the story you want to tell him about what you have to offer?

• Be honest about many aspects of the futility of the life of consumption we have created.
• Be honest about how one finds meaning or struggles with finding meaning.
• Be honest about the fact that all those caught up in the rat race of consumption are just as addicted. Their attachment or addiction is slower to kill.
• Listen, listen, listen to his/her concerns and desires.

4. What changes are you trying to make in her/her, their life and their story.

• To help them experience what it feels like to take care of each other – to have a we.
• To explore with them ways of duplicating the good aspects of community living inside of treatment centers outside of treatment centers.
• To explore with them a new definition of success.

 
Most of us and perhaps all of “know” that it is the questions one asks which are important.
 
Let’s explore asking different questions to deal with the many issues which threaten to kidnap our souls and our hearts.
 
 
Written September 22, 2018
 
 
 
 
 
 

​Family – community!
 
Clearly, unequal access to and distribution of resources or money to procure resources has been a fact of our human community for a very long time.  This unequal distribution can be and is explained or justified with various arguments including:
 

• The natural order meaning that some of us are born with certain talents or abilities or into a particular family because  of Mother Nature, God/the gods, or fate.
• Some who are able to spend the time, energy, and money to obtain the education or credentials which the larger community decides deserves a larger share of resources/money.
• The economic system which best serves the larger number results in an unequal distribution of money.  Terms like market price  are used to attempt to educate the members of the community.
• Some have resources to take the financial risks and stand to lose as easily as they gain.
• Some people are more valuable or deserving because of their position/job.  CEOs, the President, member of Congress, some doctors or attorney, some sports figures or movie stars.
• Money is inherited. One’s ancestors satisfied one of the other justifications for making a lot of money.

 
I was listening to the most recent episode of the podcast, GiantPanda this morning while at the gym. (Full disclosure demands that I tell you this podcast is hosted by my son Jamie Pickett who is, of course, articulate, bright, insightful, a good listener and a master at making his guests feel comfortable.)Episode 7 of this podcast features the writer Lisa Licascio whose most recent novel is Open Me.  I do intend to read the book, but this morning I was particularly interested in her comments about  the Danish people.  She is married to a Danish man and has spent considerable time in that country. Denmark is very clear that all Danish people deserve access to health care and other necessities. On the other hand, they are not, as a whole, welcoming to immigrants.  As seem to be true for many around the world, their definition of family/community is fairly narrow.
 
It is interesting that this human mind of ours can hold on to two conflicting truths at the same time even when logic or science knows that they are conflicting. For example:
 

• Family/community/tribalism is necessary for survival.
• One can operationally define human/family/community to be very selective about who is included.

 
Engels and Marx held on their believe that all humans should be treated with respect and have equal access to the resources of the community by redefining at what stage of development one became human.   Doctors at the death camps justified their role in the massive gassings by comparing the killing to the necessity of amputating diseased limbs.   When a country wants to train individuals to kill others they label the others as the enemy, terrorists, Gooks, etc.  Any terms which are designed to create “the other” can be used to withhold access to the resources and rights which are guaranteed to all in the community.
 
When we withhold basic resources/rights from others they are forced to function as the others which ensure that the ones who  excluded them were right to treat them as the others.   On the surface if one was a visitor from another planet and were presented with this logic, one would question the sanity or intellect of us humans.  Yet, we continue to act as if this system makes sense and we do so with a straight face.
 
I believe that  whether one is living in Denmark, the United States or any other country either are all deserving of access to decent housing, healthy food, quality health care, and unconditional love or none are deserving.  Pretending as if the social constructs of citizenship, race, so-called intelligence or any other factor such as age,gender, sexual orientation, particular talent creates a logical definition of community does not make sense from a practical, spiritual, or political sense.   Most of us  are no longer trapped in little bubbles of ignorance.  We cannot help, but, at some level, know that we are all family, neighbors, and community members. We are indeed citizens of the universe(s).
 
 
Witten September 20, 2018

​Entitlement, addiction, bad seed?
 
It is with great sadness that I read about anyone being sentenced to prison.  Sometimes, the person being sent to prison – all too often actually – clearly committed crimes to pay for the drugs they needed to feed their addiction.  Sometimes, the person is clearly, in my professional opinion, ,mentally ill.  Sometimes the person, on the surface, is someone who has apparently felt entitled to make a lot of money even if doing so was at the direct or indirect expense of others.  Perhaps entitled is not the correct term. Perhaps compelled is a more accurate term.
 
For example, one might wonder why someone would spend the time, energy and money to obtain a license to practice medicine in the United States to primarily focus on making money.  Why not just skip all those years of medical training and join the mafia or  some other gang?   I suspect that one does not start out with the primary motivation of making money.  Perhaps on gets so tired of dealing with all the frustrations of the current medical system in the United States or of dealing with those with chronic conditions such as addiction that he or she becomes jaded and despondent.  Perhaps there are often other factors which we do not know about him or his life. 
 
Just this week in this small community a physician was sentenced  in Federal court for defrauding Medicaid and prescribing addictive medication for the sole purpose of making money. He had to pay a relatively modest fine and a minor amount in restitution.   In addition, he has been sentenced to 57 months in prison;  a relatively short time compared to the sentences of many others.  I also suspect his license to practice medicine has been permanently revoked.
 
Nothing that I read about the sentencing indicated that the goal was for him to get counseling  or other treatment. The goal seems to be to punish this doctor. Perhaps some in the system believe that sentencing this man to prison time and paying fines will deter others from committing similar crimes.   Perhaps it will, although the history of punishing individuals and incarcerating them in this country has not deterred new crimes and  a return to jail. I do not know if the recidivism rates for physicians are less than the overall average.  Certainly, it has not seemed to have slowed down or stopped the practice of charging what the market will bear for medications, certain medical practices or other services; of finding legal ways to focus on making money instead of serving others.
 
I have no idea of how this doctor, after such extensive training, allowed himself to fall prey to changing his goal from serving others to making money.  Perhaps this is not what happened. Perhaps there were other factors affecting his decisions.  I do believe that all of us in the community would be better served by attempting to more accurately diagnose the problem and designing a treatment for that problem.  The general diagnosis of bad  seed or bad person is vague, inaccurate, and not conducive to effecting change in that person or in others who  will fall prey to similar temptations.
 
Written September 19, 2018