​New year’s eve - 2021
The legacy of Desmond Tutu
 
One of the existential philosophical questions is whether sound exists if there is no one present to hear it.  Obviously, objects such as trees, fall and as they push against the body of air, waves of energy are created whether or not there is anyone to bear witness.  On the other hand, if a person is present the energy enters the body.  If the person is a hearing enabled person something one has learned to label as a type of sound is recorded.  Even if not hearing abled the person will experience the waves of energy.
 
 
Bishop Desmond Tutu who recently died was fond of the concept and word ubuntu which he defined as “I am, because you are.”  Ubuntu is actually a part of the Zulu phrase “Ubuntu ngumuntu ngabantj”  which is usually translated as “a person is a person through other people.” This conveys we are all part of a common humanity and in a very real sense do not exist as humans apart from each other.
 
In both of these cases the question is whether there is more than the physical act occurring. For sound to exist does there need to be a person there to receive the waves of energy?  For a person to exist does there need to be at least one other person to experience him or her? 
 
What does it mean to be human?  Most, if not all social scientists, would maintain that essentially we are social beings.  We exist only in relationship to each other. One might, of course, argue that if one was, for some reason, left to be raised as the child of animals in a forest, one would exist in relation to the animals and all other life in the forest, but one would not exist as a human until one began to interact with other humans.
 
Many of us may know or have known someone who spent years on a silent spiritual retreat.  Yet, they took a history of being formed by the interactions with people and the environment with them to the retreat and they will share the new layers of who they are with one or more people when they return from the retreat,
 
A psychopath is unable to consider or relate to the needs of others.  The psychopath may believe their only purpose is to care for their own desires and needs. Autistic  children may not have that mechanism which provides a mirror image of others and thus, may be unable to experience empathy.  One of the defining characteristics of an active addict is the addictive urge is so strong they are unable to use their core empathic values to make behavioral decisions about their relationships.
 
If we want to discard or ignore our relationship with another person or group of people, we posit an excuse to dehumanize them or to otherwise convince ourselves that they are unlike us and, thus, an enemy or the evil one(s) thus allowing us to use them as objects of labor, kill them, use them sexually or otherwise treat them as unrelated to us. If a soldier finds a photo of children or a spouse on someone they have killed they are reminded that the person is like them – a human with thoughts and emotions.
 
The message of ubuntu is that if I mistreat another – if I mistreat you – in a very real sense I cease to exist as a human.
 
Desmond Tutu firmly believed that we are intricately connected to and dependent on each other.  He believed we must treat each other as sacred beings whose sacredness is restored when we acknowledge ourselves in each other. This opens the door to forgiveness, restorative justice and working together to create the world which teachers such as Desmond, Jesus, the Buddha and other wise, deeply spiritual persons believed was intended to be.
 
As we begin the year 2021 we must decide if we want to honor our own beingness – our humanness - by honoring the fact that we only exist in relationship to each other; that reality can and needs to be reflected in all our interactions with each other - how we together face the reality of covid; how we deal with climate change; how we deal with other tough issues such as abortion; how we respond to violence - whether we continue to believe that we can decrease violence by responding to violence with violence.
 
I am because of you,  I only am because of you. I cease to exist if I do not see myself in you.
 
Written December 31, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickertt.org
 
 
 

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Sunday musings - December 26, 2021
On this last Sunday of the year 2021 many will continue their holiday visit with family, many will experience a sense of relief that the holiday and its consequent expectations are past, and many will be thinking about all that needs to get done to close out the year 2021.
For the homeless and those worried about homelessness knocking on their door it is just another day of going through the motions required for survival. 
For those of us who have the luxury of moving beyond having to concern ourselves with the next meal and a warm, safe place to sleep, it may be a time to meditate and consider the next step in our spiritual journey; how we can live out that spiritual journey while also incidentally engaging in those tasks required in this culture to create and maintain a home, and to be a good steward of the community, the nation and Mother Earth. If our framework is a Christian one, we may be reminded of the alleged teaching of Jesus as reported by Matthew and Mark:
“Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.” (Ἀπόδοτε οὖν τὰ Καίσαρος Καίσαρι καὶ τὰ τοῦ Θεοῦ τῷ Θεῷ).(Matthew 22:21 and Mark 12:17).
For some this teaching may suggest that one needs to pay taxes to help maintain those shared facilities and responsibilities at the local, state and national level. For some this teaching may cause one to question what belongs to God and what belongs to Caesar.  They may be questioning whether “Caesar” had the authority to require covid vaccinations or the wearing of masks.  They may also be questioning whether the state has the right to decide what is taught in school, when a fetus becomes a person, who has right to own a gun which is capable of killing others, the role of the police and a host of other issues.  Many favor very limited power for Caesar.  Many believe that in some respects every action by each of us affects, at some level, the entire universe and, thus, is the concern of all of us – the body politic.  Many just as passionately believe each member of the body politic should have the freedom to act independent of the body politic.
Other than what is reported in Mark and Matthew in the passage I have quoted, Jesus seems to have very little to say about how to decide what is Caesar’s and what is God’s. Yet, in the Beatitudes, the Sermon on the Mount and the examples of how he ministers to others without judgment or any hint of punishment; his admonitions including to forgive 70 x 7; to love both those how are labeled as worthy of love and those who been labeled as unworthy of love; to quit defining anyone by the worst of their behaviors, he says little.  Clearly, he equates how we take care of each other as a demonstration of how we render unto God the things that are Gods.
Van Jones on an Uncommon Ground podcast episode entitled “How to Combine Social Change with Inner Change” has a conversation with meditation teacher and author Tara Brach.  During the course of their conversation, he states that black theology can be summed up in the phrase “Hallelujah anyhow”. Throughout the history of slavery, separation of family members, sexual abuse of both men and women, and a host of other cruel and unjust treatment, when black people gathered to worship their Hallelujahs were spoken/shouted with passion. Perhaps some of the passion arose from the depth of pain they had experienced. Yet, the  pain did not dull their passion for laying all their troubles, joys, and concerns before the god of their understanding who they trusted to bring a new day; to bring justice. This faith did not stop them from the secret language of hymns, amazing inventions or the success evidence in the Greenwood section of Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Even the destruction of Greenwood could not quiet the resolve to ensure Greenwood would see a new birth. 
Perhaps the lesson to be learned as we look toward 2021 is Hallelujah Anyhow; to celebrate while not denying the need to stand up for those actions and behavior which honor the sacredness of all people; to celebrate the power of truth telling with the humility of forgiveness; to stand tall and proud no matter what others do or do not do; to know wisdom is a process of identifying the questions rather than always knowing the answers; to know we can fight for what seems just and right while inviting those we might be tempted to label as an enemy to a joyful dance.
 
Written December 26, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 ​

Christmas 2021
 
 
Thank God baby Jesus is back in the crib in the manger.
 
We can adore the Christ child whose infant hunger is easy to satisfy.
 
Frankincense will hide the smell of the stable.
 
The songs of the angels will not confront or challenge.
 
We can share some of our excesses without the burden of the lofty expectations of the man the baby Jesus will become.
 
We can minister to the sick, the imprisoned, and the lepers without having to free any of these “others” – the criminals, those  addicted to the drugs we don’t use, the sex workers, the meek, those we label as the least of these.
 
Thank God for the manger.
 
We do not have to host the unwed mother in our guest room.
 
For a day we can forget that the Christ child will become a mouthy teenager; a couch surfing, homeless teacher; a know it all who preaches forgiveness 70 x 7, and one who does not appreciate the power of weapons which can kill the intruder who wants our excess.
 
Praise God from who all blessings flow.
 
Joy to the world.
 
Silent night, Holy night.


Oh, little town of Bethlehem
 
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child.  (Oops wrong song.)
 
O Holy Night.
 
Oh, Come all ye  Faithful.
 
Thank God for Christmas; for the  baby still in the manger.


Written December 25, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
​

​Thank you
 
Because of all who have shared their fear in recent years
 
we have an opportunity to heal.
 
It is true that truth is the beginning of freedom.
 
Even though truth is often ugly and painful.
 
As a nation we have long been running from
 
what we know in our hearts.
 
Racism was always about money and power.
 
We kill because we no longer need you.
 
We kill because we are fearful
 
         Not of you,
 
         But ourselves.
 
Sexism was always about money and power.
 
Money and power could, for a moment or a few centuries
 
massage our egos
 
We could briefly believe we were better than.
 
We hid behind the robes of the god of our understanding.
 
Thanks for reminding us
 
of the illusion of winning because we build walls.
 
Tough to know who the walls are keeping in and who they are keeping out.
 
Thank you
 
for reminding us that the oppressed arrived to oppress.
 
To oppress in the name of freedom.
 
In the name of liberty.
 
In the guise of empty treaties.
 
Thank you
 
for bringing us to the mountain top
 
where our fear is in view of all the world.
 
Thank you
 
for showing that we can and do use religion as the opium for the masses.
 
Many are overcome with fear as we watch the walls come tumbling down.
 
Down comes the illusion that the police are there to protect all.
 
Down comes the illusion that capitalism rewards the just.
 
Down comes the illusion we care about the mentally ill.
 
Down comes the illusion that we care about women.
 
Down comes the illusion that we care about children.
 
Down comes the illusion that we love the teachings of Jesus and the
 
Buddha
 
Thank you.
 
Now we must decide if the truth
 
will lead us to one nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all
 
or…
 
Written December 23, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
        
 
        
 
        
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
Sunday Musings - December 19, 2021
4th Sunday in Advent
 
Some in the Christian tradition suggest that on this 4th Sunday in Advent we focus on Jesus as the Lord of Peace; that our prayer be to let go of fear; fear of what tomorrow will bring; fear that we are not worth loving; fear of the unknown; fear that we will fail; fear that we cannot keep our commitments because some person or business is not doing what we have decided that they should do; fear we will look silly or incompetent and not be respected; fear that we will appear weak and vulnerable to others; fear that our partner does not love us as we love them; fear that we are not enough.
 
Sometime we label our fear as anxiety.  It may arrive in the form of a panic attack.  It is often expressed as anger and judgment.  It also visits in the form of worrying and keeps us up all night trying to solve problems over which we have no control.  At other times our fear arrives as depression or a fugue state of immobility.
 
Daily one can read about devastating  tornadoes, shootings, car accidents, climate change, rising covid numbers and a host of other tragedies and conditions which visit us here on planet earth. If not careful, we can become so concerned about what could happen that we miss what we can enjoy and accomplish in this moment.  We can like Jeremiah (6:14,811) and Ezekiel (13:10 and 16) cry “peace, peace when there is no peace” and know that we are not falling into the trap of the false prophets who deny racism, war,  attachments, conspiracy theories, homelessness, starvation, and many other forms of injustice. We do not want to be part of the problem by denying our role in creating and sustaining these painful illnesses of the society we have created. 
 
Yet, I am also reminded that He who is sometimes referred to as the prince of peace promises that if we walk with Him, we will find peace in embracing our homeless neighbor, forgiving seventy times seventy, letting go of the illusion or need to control, being present now, in love, with each other; that together we will show up and like the Cratchit family simply open our arms and  embrace Scrooge.  We will not accept the invitation to the bah humbug which is masking the fear.
 
As we approach this season when Christians celebrate the promise of peace; the promise that letting go of fear prepares us to meet life on life terms; to share our vulnerability and strength; our well-earned tears and joys and in the center of that sharing experience the embrace of Mother Earth and all the wonders which are also present; to experience in the midst of all the mess we make of this planet that quiet moment when we merely show up in love.
 
We can experience the peace which rises above the walls of hate, bigotry, injustice, the attachment to things, and fear about what tomorrow might bring.  Whether we think of this Jesus fellow as mostly myth, the prince of peace, the son of God or a good man who ignored the walls of judgment and hate does not matter.   Whether he was merely another human teacher who was both more and less than the story many will tell on Christmas we are reminded peace is possible.  We will assume that the ego of the God of our understanding is strong enough to be called Jesus, Allah, teacher, human, wise one or even “dude” and simply invite him/her/it to our circle of peace where fear is given the day off.
 
Written December 19, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org,
 
 ​

When treatment is not worth it!
 
While listening to a Vox Conversations podcast with host Sean Illing and his guest Paul Bloom, the psychologist whose new book examines the relationship we have with suffering, happiness, and having a meaningful life, I was thinking about  clients and family members of clients  for whom I work; their sometimes seeming resistance to make the changes they need to make if they are to have what I envision as a richer, more fulfilling life. 
I wonder if some of these individuals may have little hope or belief that counseling is going to help.  Depending on how their mind is affected by their illness, they may not have any belief that they have any problem.
 
I also suspect, however that there are those individuals who are fearful of feeling better because their history is such that any improvement in their happiness or positive experience of life is temporary.  It has to be profoundly disappointing to have a brief period of feeling better only to be followed by a return to acute symptoms of mental illness or even some other illness with acute physical pain.
 
Although I did not hear Dr. Bloom use the term quality of life he often refers to the desire of most of us to experience life as meaningful.  Meaningful may not equate with pain free or even happy.   For example, Dr Bloom talks about the experience of parenting as one which can include great moments of joy and profound love, but which is also, at times, exhausting, painful and frustrating.  Mountain climbing in subzero weather, running a marathon and a host of other activities come with a huge and often painful cost. I recently listen to someone describe dog sled racing and was humbled by the description of the often grueling experience.  Yet, many will do this trip a number of times and report experiencing a great deal of satisfaction.
 
For many, however, any sense of joy or even meaningfulness is accompanied by the knowledge or the fear that depression, other symptoms of mental illness or other pain can, in a moment, resurface and return one to a state of mere existence; an existence when time seems to stop.   Is there any greater misery than having a taste of joy, satisfaction or meaningfulness only to have it snatched away.  One can get used to just about anything but to have a fleeting taste of something less painful or even joyful and then lose it again can be a hopeless, depressing feeling.   I wonder if some choose to quit medications or stop other treatment which is reducing symptoms so that they do not have to continually face feeling better and then returning to living with all the symptoms of mental illness or physical pain.   Health care workers, family members or others may accuse the person of not wanting to get well.  Yet, it may be less painful to live with what one knows rather than getting one’s hopes up only to be dashed again and again.
 
I also wonder if there is the possibility that the person who is used to having their life controlled or mostly controlled by their illness is fearful that if they show signs of functioning better others will have expectations that overwhelm and frighten them.
 
What I do know if that most of us, including those with active mental illness, do the best we can with the tools we have. Those tools include or exclude faith in our abilities and in the treatment for one’s particular illness or condition.   If one has never been frozen by mental illness such as depression, schizophrenia, PTSD, addiction or some combination of these then one may have no real ability to understand the thought process and  behavior of those who live with such illnesses.
 
It is vitally important that we not increase the struggle and pain of the mentally ill by berating them for “not wanting to get better” or “being too lazy to do the work they need to do”.  For any treatment to work there must (1) the ability to have faith that there is something to be gained ,(2) that positive changes are more than temporary and (3) the gain outweighs their perceived loss.   We may not understand or relate to their perceived loss but it is their loss.
 
Written December 14, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 ​

 
 
 
Sunday Musings - December 12, 2021
Rejoice
 
On the Christian calendar today it is the third Sunday of Advent and is traditionally called Gaudete Sunday.   Gaudete is the Latin word meaning “rejoice”.
 
The tradition is to rejoice in the promise that when the Lord arrives all will be changed.  We know, of course, that this Jesus fellow whose birth and teachings the Christian Church celebrates brings this radical message to love your enemy, visit the sick, quit judging others instead of removing the sin from your life, feed the hungry, forgive seventy times seventy, and quit pretending that one knows people and can label “those others” because of some act of commission or omission.  
 
The Christian tradition is to remind all to rejoice.  This radical, socialist, unemployed, former carpenter who does not even have a permanent physical home, but is a couch surfer, invites one to upturn one’s idea of justice, to quit waiting on the so called leaders to open the gates of prisons, to quit thinking we are in a position to judge another, and to redefine the idea of success. 
 
Rejoice is the message of this man who did not need a walk-in- closet to hang his work and play costumes, whose status was not known by the car he drove and hangs out with those who many see as unsuccessful or even losers.
 
Rejoice!  Most of us will try acting as if writing a check from the safely of our gated communities, saying a prayer that those sinners will change their ways, and convincing ourselves that we only have what we deserve - what we have earned - will show that we are rejoicing in the coming of the baby Jesus.  If we attend a church we may participate in a play depicting the birth of Jesus while ignoring the fact the adult Jesus would  consider the message of Godspell a mild, watered down version of his message.
 
Is our prayer?
 
·      Rejoice.  Let’s celebrate our freedom to pretend as if our decisions and behavior do not affect others.
 
·      Rejoice.  We are not like those socialists.
 
·      Rejoice.  We are not the criminals.
 
·      Rejoice.  We are not the lazy homeless.
 
·      Rejoice.   We can shoot those who take what we do not need.
 
·      Rejoice.   We are the righteous, peaceful nation selling guns and other weapons to the highest bidder.
 
·      Rejoice.   We are responsible for our financial success.  Luck or grace is not a factor.
 
·      Rejoice.   We are not the disgusting, irresponsible addicts whose addiction demands to be fed no matter how many of one’s core values it tosses aside.
 
·      Rejoice.   We are not the worthless or disposable person who once laid in a manager.
 
·      Rejoice.   The sex addict is not among the chosen.
 
·      Rejoice.   Baby Jesus shall forever stay a baby and not become a radical, feminist, pinko, unemployed, unsuccessful, wandering servant minister. 
 
Or is our prayer:
 
·      Rejoice for our amazing ability to create healing medicines, amazing art, music which forces us to dance, and magical machinery. 
 
·      Rejoice for our acts of kindness and devotion to caring for the ill.
 
·      Rejoice for the gifts of laughter, amazing food, heavenly chocolates, and magical instruments to communicate with each other.
 
·      Rejoice for our quickness to forgive ourselves and others.
 
·      Rejoice in the message of that Jesus fellow to opens our arms and welcome all to safely gather and be loved not caring what language they use, what religion they profess, what concepts of God they formulate, what home they have or do not have, what mental health/illness/diagnosis they have, what race they are, what sexual orientation they are, lor what their prison or jail number is.
 
Rejoice as we gather in spirit, if not in person, on this third Sunday in Advent when the pandemic number may dictate we avoid gathering too physically close. 
 
Rejoice.
 
Written December 12, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 ​

Mental illness and journalism
 
Sometimes it seems as all of us in the community who are not identified as living with the diseases of addiction and other mental illness are colluding to avoid facing the extent of  their effect on all aspects of our communities. This includes journalists who reports addiction related stories.  I was again reminded of this when reading the morning news.  There was the story of the mentally disturbed  teenager child who is accused of shooting people at a Michigan school last week and his parents who apparently were unable to recognize and appreciate their son’s call for help.  It is beyond sad that the child’s symptoms of mental illness were not taken more seriously by those who had contact with him.  It is beyond sad that the parents and the child are now facing serious criminal charges.
 
There was also the story of the Salt Lake police officer on duty who crashed his vehicle and appeared to be high on fentanyl.  A bag of that drug was found in the vehicle.  I am not sure it has been proven that, in fact, he was high on fentanyl, but he was administered Narcan and taken to the hospital.  
 
I read many stories of the Michigan teenager and his parents and only one so far of the officer in Salt Lake City.  In some of the stories about the Michigan teenage boy there were reports of his cry for help but none of the stories seem to be written with an empathetic understanding and acceptance of the fact that we are dealing with another victim of mental illness which was not identified and treated.  There also seemed little empathy for his parents who were clearly not trained to recognize the severity of his mental illness.  
 
The story I read about the Salt Lake City officer did not read as if the author wanted to draw the attention of the reader to the fact that this officer may have a serious addiction disorder.  One must consider the fact that to be a police officer one has to go through extensive training, often work long hours, endure pressure from the community to often do a job for which they are relatively poorly paid and not trained and then criticized when they do the job very badly or reflect the symptoms of racism, sexism and homophobia which are still such a systemic issue in our culture.  Most only do that job because they have a passion for service.  Why would anyone risk throwing away that job for a temporary high if one did not have the disease of addiction.   One could, of course, suggest that the officer was arrogant, stupid or oblivious to the danger of addiction.  Certainly, addiction affects one’s brain, one’s decisions and how one perceives self and others.   One might exhibit symptoms of arrogance.  Anyone who has worked with those suffering with the mental illness of addiction knows that the addiction takes over the command center of the brain.   All the brain can focus on is how to feed the addiction.   This is the nature of the disease.  No one in their right mind, especially an officer of the law, would think they could safely use fentanyl on the job or any other time.  Yet, we know that addiction does not care if one is an officer of the law, a physician, a factory worker or a young person in school.  Untreated or not adequately treated mental illness, including active addiction, by definition, affects how the brain works - the decision and actions one takes.  
 
If we want to stop or even reduce the adverse effects of mental illness we must, as a community, quit focusing on the symptoms and focus on the illness and the need for treatment.  Attorneys, law enforcement personnel, including persecutors, judges, and, yes, journalists must stop diagnosing mental issues as criminal behavior.  It is true that criminal behavior is often a symptom of mental illness, including addiction but it is not the primary diagnosis.  We know that without an accurate diagnosis one cannot accurately treat a problem whether it is a physical issue, an electrical issue or a mental illness.  Journalists, in reporting events such as the car crash of the officer in Salt Lake City,  can help with this effort.  For example, one could write:
 
         “An officer in Salt Lake City apparently living with the disease of addiction sadly crashed his patrol car on such and such a date.   Thankfully, neither he nor anyone else was seriously hurt.  It would appear that the drug in this case might have been fentanyl which we know is often responsible for drug overdoses in this country.  Thankfully, the officers responding quickly administered Narcan. They are to be commended for recognizing and treating a potential addiction related incident.  It is assumed and certainly we hope that the officer will now get the treatment he needs for his disease. Our hearts go out to he, his family and all suffering with this terrible disease. We in the community can also support programs to identify and treat those serving us as first responders who may be living with  addiction and other mental illness.”
 
I am sure a trained journalist could draft better copy.  Our jails and prisons are filled with those whose primary diagnosis is mental illness including the disease of addiction.  Jails and prisons are poorly designed and equipped for intensive treatment of any form of mental illness.  They are very costly and ineffective. It is time we in the community do our part to accurately diagnose and treat the core issues and not just the symptoms. Journalist can play a powerful role in this commitment.
 
Written December 6, 2021
Jimmy F. Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ​

​Sunday Musings -December 5, 2021
Good news?
 
The Oklahoma governor just denied clemency for Bigler Stouffer who was convicted of the 1985 murder of schoolteacher Linda Reaves and the attempted murder of Doug’s Ivens.  Although the Oklahoma Pardon and Parole board recommended his sentence be change to life in prison, the governor has declined to accept that recommendation. Currently there are 46 people on death row in Oklahoma.  Six of those have execution dates.  In the United States as of October 2021, there were 2504 people on death row.  At the End of 2019 there were roughly 2.1 million people behind bars in the United States (pewresearch.com).  It should be noted that this is a number which has been declining a little the last few years.
 
The Attorney General of Oklahoma, John O’Connor,  in response to the decision by the governor, issued a statement saying that justice will finally be served. (ktul.com)    This is a common statement of law enforcement personnel and the victim’s family.  “Justice will be served.”  “We finally have justice.”  
 
Most of us know that for many centuries the “eye for an eye” approach to justice has been widely accepted.  An apparent majority in the United States and many other countries, still believe this to be the case. Many  use different religious traditions or texts for justification. 
 
This type of justice holds these truths to be self-evident:
 
o   Justice equals balance - take a life/lives and remove a life/lives.  
 
o   We are each defined by our worst behavior or act.
 
o   Both incarceration and executing those we are able to convict of certain “crimes” deters more crime.
 
o   Those convicted of being criminal are different than or less than those not convicted of being criminals.
 
o   Those advocating other approaches to justice such as restorative justice do not understand that there are evil people
 
o   Punishment and treating people as less than create a more just and safer community.
 
 
I find it sadly fascinating that many in the United States and especially those in powerful governing positions (public and so-called private sector) frequently tout their belief that we are a Christian nation when, in fact, we are a very pluralistic nation and always have been.  The majority of our lawmakers have, however, been white men.  Slowly there is a smattering of representative of both genders, various races and cultures and religions in various governing bodies - private and public. 
 
If, in fact, we were a Christian nation we would follow the basic teaching of Jesus which  also happen to mirror the teaching of the Buddha and other teachers. The basic teachings of Jesus which have often been labeled the good news can be summarized as follows:
 
o   Humans are humans. In the words of Louise Hay:  “We are perfect in our imperfections.”
 
o   We are all more than our worse sin/way of hurting others.
 
o   There is no scientific or moral way of rank ordering our various ways of hurting ourselves and others.
 
o   We are to love our enemies, treat each other as we want to be treated, be humble, and share our gifts with others without judgment.


o   Bless the poor in spirit. Who could be poorer in spirit that the person who murders or rapes another?
 
o   Bless those who mourn  - those who have the humility and courage to mourn.
 
o   Bless the meek - those who are quietly present.
 
o   Bless those who hunger and thirst for righteousness - who have to courage to  know they do not know -  those who search for questions instead of answers.
 
o   Bless those who show mercy.
 
 
o   Love your enemies.
 
o   Visit the sick and those in prison.
 
o   Feed the hungry.
 
o   Forgive seventy times seventy
 
 
Who can consider these teachings and fail to be challenged?  Who can read these and fail to acknowledge that their human manifestation is no different than that of the 2.1 million behind bars; the over 2000 on death row?  Who can read these and find justification for punishing another?
 
Certainly, for a host of reasons there are those who are incapable temporarily or permanently of considering the needs and rights of others.   None of these, to the best of my knowledge, decided they wanted to enter this life journey with mental illness or other brain  dysfunction which prevents them from forming loving human connections with all others. Yet there are a host of factors which affect the ability of many.  Some of these may need to be in safe, restrictive, but not punishing, facilities.
 
The good news of that Jesus fellow is that we all deserve and have the Grace of God.  The good news of that Jesus fellow and the Buddhas and some other teachers is that the god of our understanding fulfills the law of the Old Testament by teaching us to love and not judge.   The good news is that Bigler Stouffer has a name and is a person who deserves our love as the human he is; the human who did a very cruel act. The good news is that justice is achieved with love.
 
Written December 5, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

Sex and choice


There is no group of individuals more vilified by the general populations or even by the population of those convicted of assault, murder and other violent actions than the person who has been labeled as a sexual offender. Why is this? First it is assumed by many that all those on the sexual offender’s list are pedophiles; those who have forcibly had sexual contact with pre-pubescent children or have been convicted of raping adults.   Actually, these are a small percentage of those on the list although it is tough to get an actual count.  The term pedophile is so often used to label anyone who has had sex with a legally underage person.  This is inaccurate.  A pedophile is a person who uses a pre-pubescent child sexually.  The legal age limit for children to make a decision to have sex with an adult varies from state to state or from country to country. In some countries the age limit is still as young as 12.  In some countries or cultures within a country there may be rituals which prescribe initiating children into sex.


The list of sexual offenders in the United States includes:


o   Those who do use a pre-pubescent child sexually.
o   Those who forcibly or willing have sex with a minor post puberty person who is legally a child.
o   Those older adults who fall in love with an under age teenafer even though the law says it is not allowed.
o   Those who are emotionally younger than their chronological age and have sex with a person whose chronological age matches their emotional age, i.e., an immature 19-year-old with a14-17-year-old.
o   Those who view pornography featuring teenager or younger children. They frequently do not have or seek out sex with children.
o   Those who have sex with an underage prostitute who lies about his or her age.
o   Those who while drunk or under control of another drug have forced sex.
o   Those who have sex with someone who is under the influence or otherwise not capable of making an informed decision.
o   Those who traffic in sex such as those who use children to make pornographic films or who kidnap or otherwise use their power to lure individuals of various ages to a work as sex workers.
o   Those who have a compulsive need to expose themselves.


Some facts:


o   Relatively few of those labeled sexual offenders are repeat offenders.
o   No one decides their sexual attraction.  All of us have some sexual preferences which may include gender, age, character traits, hair or eye color, body build or a host of other factors.  Some preferences may be influenced by the culture, but many are not. Sexual orientation is not a choice.  No one decides they want to have sexual desires for young children or to have serious emotional issues leading to a compulsion to control others sexually.
o   No one decides that they will have a compulsive need to flaunt society norms.
o   The line which determines legal age is largely arbitrary and varies from place to place and culture to culture.
o   The brain of a young person is not fully developed until age 25 or 26.  Yet we do not make that the legal age to decide to be sexually active with a person of one’s choice whatever their age.
o   Sociopaths such as those who traffic in sex are unable, for whatever reason, to be concerned with or consider the needs of others.
o   The person who has a compulsive need to expose himself or herself  has underlying mental health issues having nothing to do with sex, but which are expressed sexually.


In this country we spend billions of dollars locating, prosecuting, monitoring, imprisoning and tracking those labeled as sexual offenders.  We publish sexual offenders lists so that the general population can identify and supposedly keep them out of schools, housing, and even neighborhoods.  There is no evidence that treating people as disposables/undesirables helps their brains to function differently.  


Some sexual offenders get the help they need through 12 step programs, therapy, residential treatment program or even religious based treatment programs.   Some are able to identify and get treatment for the underlying issues.  For some the lifelong use of such tools and the support of a 12-step program or another similar one will allow them to reclaim a life which does not include acting out.  As with all addictions it is possible to recover/heal without curing the addictive urge. There are a few who are unable to respond to treatment and may need to be in a long term safe treatment facility where they are treated as the sick people they are.


Those labeled as sexual offenders are treated with such disdain and are excluded from either “loving one’s enemies” or  the Christian concept of Grace primarily because of the fact that:


o   in the United States while we use sex to market everything from prescription medicine to underwear, we remain uncomfortable with who we humans are sexuality.


o   we like to indulge the illusion that we can divide people into those who are good and those who are bad; those who are deserving of love and those who are not; those who are like the public us and those who are not.


o   our concept of self is often validated by comparison with our perception of the public part of others.


o   we both want to protect “children” and ignore that they are sexual beings or have the capacity to love much earlier than the legal age.


o   we like to believe in the absolute concept of free will, responsibility and reject the reality of mental illness or the fact the brain which directs our actions is very sensitive, complicated, and is precariously balanced.  It is much more comforting/less frightening to label and treat people as criminals than sacred humans whose brains may be unable to consider the needs and rights of others.


o   we have a habit in this country (and many others) of criminalizing behavior we do not like regardless of whether or not it harms the general community. 


o   religious institutions based on fear-based beliefs often are the basis of laws in this country.




The discrepancy between who we are in terms of actions, who we want others to think we are or even who we are determined to beat ourselves into becoming has to be addressed if we ever want to approach a system of justice which is scientifically based and consistent with who we declare ourselves to be in our Bill of Rights and The Declaration of Independence.    If we are going to avoid the fact that we are a religiously pluralistic society and think of ourselves as Christians, we might strive to emulate the teachings of Jesus about unconditional love and acceptance of our shared humanness.


Written December 2, 2021
Jimmy F. Pickett
coachpickett.org