Sunday Musings - Christmas, 2022
 
For some Christian’s this is a religious holiday celebrating the birth of whom they consider the Son of God- The Christ.  A number of those  Christians will recite the conviction that this very same Christ “will come again to judge the quick and the dead”.  There will be many staged reproductions of a scene in a manager with a pregnant unmarried woman, a dad named Joseph, the wise men who are alleged to have come to celebrate his birth and several animals.
 
For many others Christmas is a purely secular holiday with Santa, Saint Nick, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas or some other mythical figure bringing gifts; especially the gift of magic.
 
For others it is a time to retrieve the pain of Christmas holidays; the pain experienced because of the visit of addiction or some other brain dysfunction which holds tight to the hurts and resentments sometimes passed on for generations.  For still others it is a time to gather for family dinners with purses, brief case, phones and iPads filled with the emotionally crafted defenses of their political or religious opinions masquerading as “the truth” which must be crammed down the throats of reluctant family members and other ill informed guests.
 
There are those who will gather with family and friends/family of choice who may or may not have a religious connection to the holiday and who were not vetted based on religious, political, social beliefs, political beliefs, sexual orientation, race, nationality or other social constructs.  They may gather just because they love to laugh, enjoy good food and drink, and find love more attractive than hate or discord.  They somehow did not get the memo outlining the criteria to judge and exclude or, if they got the memo, it accidentally fell into the shredder before it was read. They will arrive in comfortable and sometimes fun costumes often bringing gifts of food and drink to share. They may play some games such as cards, checkers or trivia or they may just quietly take in and breathe out the breath of love; of being in a space where one is celebrated for just being themselves.
 
Ironically, those who are the least attached to religion will, upon close examination, often most reflect the teachings of Jesus; the teachings which welcome the one born in a manager - the homeless one, the one who did not attend the “right” school, the one who has only questions and no answers; the one who does not know he or she should keep an excel spread sheet detailing the sin points of all; the one who expresses no shame or regret opening the gates of the prisons; the one who joyfully welcomes/harbors the illegal fleeing economic, political or physical violence; the one who is sick and needs tending to; the parent who has buried a child or children because of the disease of addiction; the one whose mental illness traps them in an alternate reality; the one who is not shameful for appropriating necessities from those who clearly have more than they need; the one who in their brokenness harms others; the one whose contradictory beliefs jingle and jangle for all to witness; the one who holds joy and grief in the same open hand.
 
Christmas could be about new beginnings whatever one’s religious beliefs. Christmas could be about birth which ends in death to be followed by birth/new life.  Christmas could be about showing up with loving, non-judgments, non-shameful defiance. Here I am. Use this imperfect, broken vessel of possibilities to mold a more just and loving world.
 
Happy Christmas.
 
Written December 25, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
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​Sunday Musings - December 18, 2022
 
It is one week until Christians celebrate the birth of  Jesus and all his wise common sense teachings.   Today I also celebrate the birthday of my youngest sister Pat and a special friend Doreen.
 
I am acutely aware that today is the second day past the end of the life journey of my friend and colleague, Dr Vilja Stein. There is nothing remarkable about the fact that she ended this life journey.  Although the timing was unexpected all of us know that this journey is very brief; that we have only this moment to share the best of what we are capable.  
 
I am not alone in wanting to celebrate a life well lived.  I have already this weekend talked to many who share my love and appreciation for this remarkable woman.
 
I know many others are also having to face the brevity of this journey. Just this morning, within a small circle, there have been two other recent deaths and several who are being reminded of the fragile and temporary resilience of this human body.
 
Vilja Stein’s children’s will be honoring their mother with an obituary which attempts in a few sentences to capture a tiny slice of the essence of what this woman shared and what she left.  Her many roles as a daughter, mother, physician, wife, partner, friend, colleague, teacher, traveler, bird enthusiast and cat lover has touched of lives of more than the six degrees of separation seems possible.  
 
Although she lived with a deep well of sadness which is shared by all war refugees, she, as was true for her father Rudy, had an enormous passion for nature, good food, fine chocolate and the spoken and written word.  She continued to read in French, English and Estonian as well as medical Latin.  She was extremely athletic, especially when walking, playing tennis or swimming.
 
On this last Sunday before we officially celebrate  the ideal of unconditional love, absolute forgiveness and a grateful, joyful dance perhaps we can resolve to practice the courage and wisdom of the teachers with whom we have been blessed; of all the very human teachers such as Vilja Stein who always knew she, too, was a work in progress.  Her father, Rudy, was determined to continually practice the serenity prayer; to bring himself back to what he could control.  Often what he could control was whether to choose to see the beauty; the possibility rather than the obstacle.
 
When Jesus was reminded by the disciples to pay attention to the fact that he was talking to a prostitute, he reminded them to see the beauty of themselves reflected in this woman; to examine themselves to see if, in fact, their “sins” were less than her; to see that love forces love to the surface.  We need not make Vilja Stein or any of our teachers gods.  We need only remember we have the opportunity, as Ram Dass reminded us to  “Just keep walking each other home.” without the need to judge or grade each other.
 
On this Sunday morning I will imagine the energy of Vilja Stein spreading to wrap each of us in possibility.
 
Thanks dear friend.
 
Written December 18, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - December 11, 2022
“We have met the enemy and he is us.” (Oliver Hazard Perry - 1813)


We humans seem too often demonstrate our fear that we need to prove our worth by disconnecting from our shared sacredness.  We convince ourselves that our worth has to be earned by amassing things, power or prestige.  To the extent that we internalize these lies we are able to do what is necessary to achieve these short-term goals. When thus disconnected from our own sacredness we can harm and even kill “the enemy” which means anything or anyone who appears to stand between us and our goals. Sometimes we allow a small circle of connection and only harm those who fall outside the small circle.   It is also, true, however, if we “feel” betrayed or even threatened by someone within that circle we can move them to the outside circle.


One can be designated “the enemy” as an individual or a group.  Group designations are always arbitrary social constructs.  Theses constructs can be based on perceived race, religious affiliation, sexual identify, social class, power, territory or any number of other constructs. Once someone is assigned this identification it is often difficult to allow them to rejoin the inner circle of those with whom we are willing to risk connection.


In a recent interview with Terry Gross on the podcast “Fresh Air” the comedian Trevor Noah recounted using his ability to speak several languages to switch from being perceived as a member of an out group to the inner circle. The activist Angela Davis recounted the story of switching from English to French in an expensive shoe store to change from a perceive thief or poor person to a potentially valued customer.


If one visits the headquarters of Amazon in Seattle one will experience a relaxed atmosphere of people working at various stations or tables often while accompanied by their dog.  One might be left with the impression of a progressive company who values their employees.  Yet if one then visits one of the warehouses where there is intense pressure to produce in a rapid-fire manner with little consideration for the physical or emotional needs of the employees one might form the opinion that Amazon is a very cruel company fixated on the bottom line allowing their CEO and other top people to amass wealth on the backs of human robots.


I am sure the reader of this blog can share any number of other examples of how we assign the “other” category to a company or other grouping of people.


This morning, as is my habit, I read the local news online. I read of those accused of murder, rape, theft and other very hurtful behavior.  Almost always the news report is written in a way to make it seem as if the person(s) is nothing more than their hurtful behavior.  One may find it easy to place those individuals and many others in the circle of bad people who have nothing in common with us, the reader.  Yet, if one knows the parent of one of these individuals one might be able to “see” the baby who the proud parent(s) brought home from the hospital; one who has much in common with us and our children.


For Christians the world over it is the season when the birth of the Christ child is celebrated; the birth of that radical teacher who denied that one could justly place anyone in the “in” or “out” circle; who denied that one could track the score on an individual on an excel spread sheet. 


My Buddhist teacher has suggested that a step in spiritual growth can be achieved by dropping the dualities - by dropping the use of such qualifiers as good/bad, right/wrong.


The challenge of this Christmas season is to first remove ourselves from any boxes based on social constructs or dualities; to take seriously the challenge to accept God’s Grace and to love our enemies which, paradoxically means they are not our enemies.  It is only when we accept our own human imperfect perfection, we are able to unconditionally love and treat ourselves and others as members of the sacred inner circle while lovingly caring for those who are unable for a variety of reasons,  to connect with and live out their own sacredness.


Written December 11, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org