​Alone or solitude?
 
The visit of covid-19 has forced many of us to have the alone time we so often say we crave.  Many of us  are used to spending a significant portion of our time with other people.  If, as is true for me, one has a service job one likes to do one’s best to be helpful to others.  Yet, at the end of the day most of us are glad for some relaxing time with family, friends or with ourselves.
 
I am intrigued with how affected I and others are by social distancing.  Covid-19 has mandated that we allow significant social distance with each other.   I am spending time with most friends and clients via telephone, face time and  email.   Even if a few individuals  do come to the office  we are practicing maintaining social distance. After each client leaves I do my best to sanitize any surface they have touched thus eliminating  both any potential contamination and also symbolically wiping away any traces of their presence.
 
I am very conscious of the fact that in these United States we often keep prisoners in solitary confinement for long periods of time.  Most states now have laws limiting the amount of time one can keep a prisoner in solitary confinement but very creative prison staff find ways to let prisoners out for a short time and then  violate them  for breaking some minor prison rule and put them back in solitary confinement.  In any bureaucratic system it is easy to find a rule which has been violated.
 
I am also conscious of prisoners of war who are sometimes put into isolated cells or cages and those who, throughout the ages, have been isolated in the midst of social life. These untouchables experienced life much as those who are living in a domestically violent or potentially emotional, sexual or physical violent relationship.   There may be nothing more lonely than being alone with another person(s).   Some of us have been guilty of being physically present with friends, family, partner, or colleagues without being emotionally present.  Most of us have seen the cartoon of the wife talking while the husband is reading the newspaper or vice versa.  Most of us have been the parent, partner, friend  or child who has been the one not present or the one experiencing a facsimile of a person but not the person.
 
Covid- 19 is the first disease which has resulted in the creation of mass untouchables.  Lepers and certain others have, throughout, history been synonymous with untouchable.
 
Perhaps one of the many lessons  to be learned or relearned during the visit of the Covid-19 virus is the powerful act of choosing not to be present to ourselves, others or mother nature.   We may want to consider putting down our cell phones, tablets, computers, books, newspapers, brooms, cooking utensils  or any other barrier to being present  with others.  We may want to consider, even now, being present with store clerks, post office clerks, or anyone else we have the privilege of being with, even  if only for a second.   Strangers are a state of being having nothing to do with shared history or lack thereof.  We are all in need of knowing that we are not invisible; that we count.
 
Being alone is a state of being during which we are not present to ourselves, others or mother nature.   It is only when we have the intention and courage to be present that we can also experience  either solitude or the blessing of being with another.
 
Written March 31 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 

Sunday Musings – March 29, 2020
 
The paradox of love
 
I was happy to see an editorial in the local newspaper this morning quoting the chief of police  warning in this time of high stress it is likely that there will be an increase in domestic violence.   The author of the editorial suggested that “If you feel near the breaking point, …take a walk, read a book – do something to ratchet down the tension.”   Then the author said, “Recognize that coronavirus or no coronavirus, if you harm someone, you’re going to jail.”
 
Sadly ,if warming someone if they break the law that they are going to jail was enough to reduce violence and other crimes the United States would have long ago seen a great reduction is criminal offense and, thus, a great reduction in the number of people in our jails. 
 
The reality of domestic violence does need to be addressed.  Whether the violence is physical, emotional or sexual it harms all members of the family including the person who is inflicting the violence.  The authors of the editorial were right to recommend that  if one is feeling they are near the breaking point they need to find some way  to “ratchet down the tension.”  It is also true that the person or person who are in danger of violence need to have a safe place to go. All person living with someone who has a history of violence needs to have a plan to escape.  If one is a female with or without children one can contact the local family violence program at the YWCA.  If one is a male living in a domestically violent relationship he needs to identify a safe place to go.  In this community there are no shelters for men who are experiences domestic violence.
 
Certainly there may be times when the only safe option is to call the police who will take the violent person to jail. The violent person does not, however, need to be treated as a bad person.  In my many years of working for/with men and women who have been violent  I have yet to meet one who felt good about his or her violence. I have certainly met those who justified their violence and who had learned to dissociate from the shared humanness with the person upon whom they have inflicted violence.  We know from learning how to train people to go to war and kill people  that it is possible to create an other with whom one has no relationship.  We know from our history of sexism and other forms of oppression how to systematically teach someone to believe that one’s worth is dependent on being more than, better than, more human than, etc.  We also know how to systematically teach someone that  they have intrinsic worth.
 
In Norway it is recognized that there are times when individual need to be restrained, not for the purpose of punishment  but to protect others and to protect the  restrained person from themselves. There are no guards in these institutions. There are mentors or teachers.  I am not suggesting that even in that system they will be able to help every restrained person  adopt new, less violent ways of functioning.  Some may need restrained for long periods of time.
 
No one chooses to be a violent person and to disconnect from one’s own humanity and the humanity of others.  One may well have learned they have a right to violence;  the other person(s) is causing their violence, or they have no other options to reduce the tension they are experiencing.   That is their reality.  We need to be determined to teach  our children there are always  options; that violence is never a moral option; one never has to base their worth on being better than or  more than.  In the Christian calendar this is the 5th Sunday of Lent, a  time to consider the possibility that  radical teachers such as Jesus were right in suggesting that the answer is always love. It is loving to say to the victim of violence that they never deserve to be mistreated.  It is right to say to the person who is violent that they  may not/need not find their worth in being more powerful than, more controlling of, or more worthwhile than any other human being.  It is right to treat all with the  love and respect we are demanding they have for others.
 
Written March 29, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

​An event
 
If visiting Grandma Fannie
 
An event could be predicted
 
If one saw
an apple pie
 
fried chicken
 
biscuits
 
sweet tea
 
coffee
 
potatoes
 
            tomatoes, green beans,  okra or all three - canned or fresh
 
homemade pickles
 
It might be a funeral, a wedding, a birthday, visiting friends or relatives, or a graduation
 
All qualified as an event.
 
I am sure Covid—19 would have earned an event label.
 
I shall call it an event.
 
Apple pie is ready for the oven
 
Nearby the bread dough rises
 
With all due respect to those with an eating disorder, diabetes or a gluten intolerance
 
I call upon the spirit of all the Grandma Fannies
 
Come sit
 
Eat
 
Even if six feet apart
 
Coffee?
 
Sweet tea?
 
Written March 28, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 

​Letting go
 
As is my habit, I listened to the podcast of On Being with host Krista Tippett this morning.  Her conversation partner this week is Ross Gay and the subject of their  conversation is “Tending Joy and Practicing Delight”.    (Ross Gas of Professor of English at Indiana University and author of a book of essays, The Book of Delights  and a poetry collection Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude.
 
Professor Gay says that “Joy is when alienation goes away.”   He talks about the fact that we are all going to die; that we have this shared knowledge and experience in common.  
 
At this time when Mother Nature is reminding us that we are not in charge; that no matter what we do or do not do, visitors such as Covid-19 show up; that no matter what we do or do not do at some point our very brief life dance will end. We know that the greatest power we have is to let go of all the barriers we erected to separate us from each other.   In fact we have erected barriers within ourselves.  Just yesterday I was talking with young man about the fact that when he talks to others there is this very wise man who emerges; a man who often offers tender, wise advice to others but who withholds both the tenderness and the wisdom from himself.  His alienation is a disconnection within himself which, in turn, keeps him from connecting at a deep level with others.   He and I both know that part of the reason for this is the illusion that one can avoid deep grief, but of course, when we avoid deep grief, we avoid deep joy. When we avoid those emotions which form the core of who we are we are alienated from and within ourselves keeping us alienated from others and the rest of the universe.  This leaves us with us without the capacity to dance. Dance is always a connection. Any art form is a deep connection.   The notes of our voice or a musical instrument only become music when we are brave enough to connect the notes to the core of who are as humans – our emotions.
 
We know, of course, we are all going to die and that this life dance is very brief.  We can also trust, as Ram Dass suggested, that dying is like taking off a too tight shoe.  It is not a big deal.  Yet, I am not suggesting that we just allow the Coronavirus- Covid-19 to kill us.   No.  We need to treat people and, if possible, help each other heal.  We need to look for a vaccine and for medication which effectively  destroys or neutralizes the virus once it has taken over one’s favorite chair.  At the same time, let’s remind ourselves and each other that dying is not the big deal.  The big deal is when we fail to let go of resentments, judgements, false pride and all those barriers we have erected to alienate ourselves from parts of ourselves, each other, and all of nature.   The big deal is when we fail to allow delight to set alongside of grief.  The big deal is when we refuse to drink in the new life – all the sounds and colors – of spring.
 
I urge the reader of this bog to claim joy today; to claim delight today. I urge the reader of this blog to face death with a commitment to delight.   After all we are not dead  at this moment.  Nothing, except death, can silence our dance.
 
Yes, let’s do practice social distancing, hand washing and cleaning of potentially contaminated surfaces.  Let’s do avoid being exposed to Covid-19 or exposing others.  Simultaneously, let’s fall in love with all of who we are; with the flowers and new life of spring; with the fact that we are all, as Ram Dass also suggested, walking each other home.
 
Written March 27, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 

Just for today
 
 Covid- 19 I s a poignant reminder  of what all of  have always known at some level.    There is a long history of some of us humans acting as if we live forever.    There was a time when only Kings had the power to prolong the illusion of their journey through the building of pyramids.  Yet, obviously, death was as permanent for them as it is for all of us.   In the United States, embalming fluids, finely crafted caskets, elaborate tombstones, and enormously talented makeup artists have conspired to make death as “real” and as attractive as possible.  Yet, as any grieving parent, spouse, or dear friend will attest, when one gets home, shuts the door and faces their grief, none of those illusions comfort one. 
 
The 12 step programs originally for recovering alcoholics and then for those recovering from many other addictions  reminds all “just for today”.  Initially the reminder is to set a goal which feels doable for the person who has been held captive by their addiction for a long time and cannot imagine never feeding their addiction again.   Yet, they can hold it at bay “just for today” or sometimes “just for the next five minutes”.   The recovering person, if lucky, and if they follow advice  to be present in the moment can accept that one only ever has this moment.
 
We all have had reminders that life if very brief and we need to “stop and smell the roses”; to not put off until tomorrow what we can accomplish today; “to member to not sweat the small stuff and it is all small stuff.”  Yet, life shows up and we forget these important lessons until the visit of the next reminder.  Seldom  do we in the United States and other countries  have reminders such as Covid-10 which shows up for a prolong period of time.    Yet, many have been fleeing violence and poverty ( another form of violence) for a very long time.  Many have and are waiting in refugee camps and in the midst of dis ease and danger for a very time.  Many have and continue to be unable to protect and keep children and other family members safe or even alive.
 
Of course I am hopeful that the number of deaths will be limited; that an effective treatment will be found and  eventually a vaccine will be developed.  I also hope that many of us use this time to recommit to being present with each other and with mother nature.  We would do well to remember that we only ever had this moment to live in a way which honored the sacredness of all of life; that we only have this moment to embrace (metaphorically for now) each other and to quit acting as if we are in control.   Just for today we only have control over how well we love and take care of each other.  Just for today, we can resolve to be intentional about living in a way which is non-judgmental; to let go of long held resentments; to not act as if possessions, power, position or other people, places and things are going to warm our hearts or leave a meaningful footprint.

I am not suggesting that we quit our jobs, quit cleaning our homes, quit homeschooling our children, or quit making sure we have a way to feed ourselves and our family tomorrow. I am suggesting that we put relationships first; relationship with self; relationship with others; relationship with mother nature; relationship with the God of our understanding - whatever allows us to see the whole of what is.  I am suggesting that we live just for today while being prepared to live just for today tomorrow.
 
As Seth Godin reminded his readers in his blog today, “Everything is going to be the way it is going to be.”  In the midst of that circle we have the power to put love first. We have to power to make social distancing a priority when possible; to wear protective gear when helpful and when it is available;  and to share resources.  Just for today.
 
Written March 26, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 

Routine
 
As is true for many of us, I depend on a routine to keep me focused and healthy.   When conditions or events interrupt our routine it is easy to skip many aspects of health care.  I have found that it is very important for me to accurately categorize parts of my routine if I am to stay on track with health care.  For example, I can either list gym or exercise as part of my daily routine.  Since the Covid-19 arrived for a visit  a gym has not been available.  They were all ordered to close to help ensure that we keep social distancing to a maximum and, thus, help prevent the spread of the  virus.  Since that is the case, it would be easy for me to skip exercise.   Yet, exercise is the  goal, not gym time.   Although I love going to the gym and taking advantage of the various types of equipment as well as seeing friends, there is nothing preventing me from exercising at home.   I no longer have exercise equipment at home but I do have access to television programs via my prime fire TV stick.   I have discovered many options including very vigorous offerings by Paul Eugene.  I have also discovered Tai Chi video programs and many yoga options.  There are some paid options but there are also many free ones.
 
Exercise is just one part of my daily health routine.   Other parts are:
 

• Staying on my normal schedule for going to bed and getting up.
• Staying in close touch with friends via the internet, phone or snail mail.
• Eating regular, healthy meals.
• Setting aside time for writing, reading and meditation.
• Writing down and sharing my spiritual intention for the day.
• Maintaining a clean, orderly (not obsessively orderly) home which is inviting and even embracing.
• Dressing and reporting for work in my home office the same as I do when I am seeing clients in person.
• Scheduling normal house chores such as cleaning, laundry, and bill paying.

 
Those with responsibility for others – children and others for whom we care – will have to  be especially intentional about taking care of oneself.  Since I live alone at this time in my life and only have to care for myself in the home it is both easier to maintain a routine and more tempting to skip parts of the routine.   After all, no one would know it if I lazed in bed an extra hour, I did not make my bed and do my morning exercises. Actually, there is only partly true, since friends and clients me expect to check in with them at the same time every day.
 
Many individuals accuse me of being a slave to my schedule and/or of being obsessively compulsive.  This is only party true.  I know myself well enough to accept that if I give myself one excuse for skipping some part of my health care routine I am creative enough to give myself an excuse for weeks or even months.    I do not want to fall into the trap of waiting until I am motivated to take care of myself.   I often do not feel like taking care of self but I know when I do I feel much better or at least do not feel worse.  Of course I am sensible. If my body tells me that I need to alter my exercise routine I do that. If my body tells me I need to adjust my nutritional intake I do that also.
 
There is room for some flexibility but that flexibly has to be consistent with my core values.  For example, nurturing a relationship with self and others is one of my core values.  I want to always adjust my schedule when someone needs to talk or for me to be quietly present with them. 
 
I am not suggesting that I am perfect with maintaining my routine although I am more consistent than I was as a young man.  As my age I hope to be more both more forgiving and more honest with myself.  Saying I will do it tomorrow has never worked for me. Tomorrow never comes because I just keep putting a task off until tomorrow and soon a week, month or year has passed.
 
The bottom line is that we need to take care of ourselves as well as we would a child or any person we unconditionally love and respect.  Being consistent with routine holistic health care even when changes such as the visit of the Covid-19 arrive is going to ensure that we function our best – just for today.
 
Written March 25, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett, LPC, AADC
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Circle
 
Recently my friend Robert Dobkin reposted a quote which had been posted by another friend John Moses, Director of Youth Service Systems.  The quote was one I have read several times.   It is from the book Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion by Father Greg Boyle and which is about the theology of hope and compassion which Father Boyle and his staff bring to former gang members in Los Angeles.   Father Boyle makes manifest the simplicity of the teachings of Jesus and other wise teachers.  The quote was:  “You stand with the last likely to succeed until success is succeeded by something more valuable:  kinship.    You stand with the belligerent, the surly, and the badly behaved until bad behavior is recognized for the language it is: the vocabulary of the deeply wounded and of those whose burdens are more than they can bear.”
 
I do very little reading of Facebook posts but as “fate” would have it, I happened on this one.  When reading it I was reminded of several “facts”:
 

• I am dependent on friends and colleagues to lovingly but clearly tickle my mind and heart – to challenge me to be my very best.
• Often friends and colleagues pass the same pearls of wisdom back and forth as wise men and women have done since the beginning of time.
• There is nothing new under the sun.  We know what we know even when we deny we know it.
• I always get what I need spiritually to continue the journey when I am ready to receive it.

 
I especially needed to this reminder even though it is one I have passed on to others many times.  In the journey I have elected to take with others in my personal and professional life I can “forget” to view the mirror which others so generously share with me.   
 
In music, prior to the creation or discovery of the computer, if one wanted to play or sing a musical selection in a different key that what was written on the sheet music one possessed  one learned to transpose it. That is, one learned to mentally move the notes on the staff lines to match the key in which one wanted to perform the piece.   This was much cheaper and easier than recopying or repurchasing the music in the key one wanted.
 
In our relationships with each other we often mistake the key in which one is communicating.   Anger, for example, is the symptom and not the issue or diagnosis.  When I encounter the anger of another I have a choice to attend to the symptom or the pain or discomfort which always underlies the anger.  The anger may be related to the emotions connected to a trauma which may seem too painful to face; the fear of being powerless; the fear of being criticized once again, the determination not to be bullied and mistreated again or some other pain. I can choose to attend to the anger or I can choose to attend to the pain underlying the anger even if I have no idea of the source of the pain. I can, as Father Greg Boyle reminds us, “listen” for the deep wounds and burdens which the anger is shielding.
 
I would, of course, like to say that I always practice the art of transposing, but the truth is sometimes I react to the “belligerent, the surly and the badly behaved” as if they are bad people.  I take the symptoms as the “dis ease”.  When I do this it is usually because one or more of my internal gas tanks (emotional, physical, spiritual, or nutritional) is low or even empty.  It could also be some pain of my own has been triggered.  My goal is to “notice” what is going on and, if possible, take a break.  First I must own the issue and, if appropriate, make amends.
 
I know that there are those who believe that some people are just bad or evil. That is neither my experience or belief.  It is my belief and my experience that I may not know how to create a space which feels safe enough for another to share the “dis ease” and not just the symptom. 
 
I must continue to hang close with those who tickle my heart and mind.   I must remain close to my own pain and not mistake the symptoms for the “dis ease”.
 
Written  March 24, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

Lessons learned?
 
No matter what life delivers to my doorstep, it is my intention to remember that I have a choice to treat it as an opportunity or to focus on thinking it is unfair, undesirable, or unjust.  It is easy to miss some of the more subtle opportunities.  Many of us have the habit of allowing life to happen and  having a negative reaction as if we did not have a choice of how to respond. Of course, there are illnesses and conditions which do affect the ability to exercise a  choice.  For most of us, however, we have the ability to embrace what comes our way and attend to what we need to learn.
 
When I suggest that I want to treat all which life presents as an opportunity I am not suggesting a Pollyanna approach to life.  That approach seems to ignore even real dangers and is often very disrespectful of the pain which some condition or event is causing.  The Covid-19 virus is resulting in death for many and significant economic hardship for many others.  The corresponding anxiety and the pain of loss is very real and needs to be treated with great compassion and respect.  At the same time the visit of Covid-19  is an opportunity to relearn some useful lessons.  These lessons include:
 

• Noticing how inflexible we can be or our attachment to being able to function  in a certain way. 
• Noticing the positive results of having more time to appreciate the magic of spring, the joy of friendships,  the pleasure of good books, the enjoyment of  cooking and the contentment which comes from solitude.
• Accepting at a new level that Mother Nature is in charge.  No matter what plans we make or what attachments we have to people, places and things it can all be taken away in an instant.
• Accepting that this life dance is very tenuous and very brief. It can end at any moment and will always end in a relatively brief time.
•  Accepting that as communities and nations we need to be better prepared to  deal with emergencies. We need to have money and certain supplies in reserve.
• Resolving to live in a manner which leaves fewer regrets; regrets of not making that phone call, of not forgiving someone, of not having more device free moments with family and friends.

 
Again and again as we greet the Covid-19 I am reminded of the Serenity prayers offered by Reinhold Niebuhr during WW Ii
 
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
enjoying one moment at a time; 
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will; 
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next. 
Amen.
 
I appreciate the fact that both and the short (first verse) and the long version of the prayer offer the opportunity to approach this life dance in a way which is realistic and hopeful. Whether or not one believes in a god of one’s understanding or a higher power, it makes perfect sense to seize the opportunity to have a positive impact when possible and to accept what one cannot change today.   Certainly we may not be a scientist and will not invent a cure or a vaccine for the Covid-19.   We may not have the money to rescue friends whose small businesses may now fail because they are required to be closed. We may have the power to be emotionally available to others: family friends, neighbors, clients, colleagues.  We may have the power to create a safe, easy to disinfect home and office space.   We  do have the power to do all we can to honor the social distancing rules without neglecting our responsibilities to others. We do have the power to simultaneously celebrate spring and the promise it brings and to respect all the lessons of  Mother Nature.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

​Sunday Musings -  March 22, 2020
 
The sun is shining and spring is in the air despite temperatures still being brisk.  The forsythia is beginning to bloom and in some places the crocuses and daffodils are proudly announcing they will not hide. The coronavirus is not a threat to them.    Once again, I am reminded that Mother Nature will, if I am paying attention, bring me back to a spiritual center.   Of course, it is easy for me to say that as I have all that I need – housing, food, heath care through the Veterans Administration and Medicare, a safe car, and the love of many who are sharing this journey with me.   It is important to remind myself that when one does not have these basics and may not how he or she is going to feed their family tomorrow it is not easy to stay spiritually centered. 
 
I was reading an article in the local newspapers about the work of the Youth Services System here in Wheeling, Virginia.   In the interview with the reporter, the director of Youth Service Systems, John Moses, quotes two of my most treasured teachers – Pema Chodron and Father Greg Boyle.   It does not surprise me that John and I share a reverence for the life and work of those two individuals.   The regular reader of this blog will be aware that I often quote both of them.   He quotes Pema Chodron reminding us that “Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”   He quotes Father Boyle who works with those who have been members of Los Angeles gangs; those who come to the gangs out of necessity; out of a desperate need to belong; out of search for survival.   In the quoted section of Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion,  Father Boyle talks about those whose shields make it tough to love them. Father Boyle says, “You stand with the belligerent and the badly behaved until bad behavior is recognized for the language it is: the vocabulary of the deeply wounded and of those whose burdens are more than they can bear.”     Again and again I return to Pema Chodron and Father Boyle for reminders of what it means to be present with love; of what it means, as Pema Chodron says, to drop the dualities (all labels such as good, bad, right, wrong); of what it means, as Father Boyle says when sitting with a gang or former gang member to return himself or herself to themselves and in so doing, return him (Father Boyle) to himself.
 
On this Sunday I am reminded of what seems to me two essential truths to which I must daily intentionally return:
 

• I always get exactly what I need to grow spiritually if I am paying attention and have the courage to be present to that lesson.
• One must be careful to not confuse the symptoms of behavior with the person or with the underlying “dis ease”.

 
It is easy for me to talk about the tragic, outrageous,  “sin” of incarcerating those whose primary diagnosis is a mental health condition such as addiction, depression, PTSD or some other.   It is easy of me to self-righteously judge that person  whose behavior hides the fact that I have not yet found a way to make it safe for them to share the pain which that behavior shields.
It is a much deeper challenge to see that another is mirroring my own pain hidden between the costume of professionalism or the cloak of ethical rules.   I am not saying that I should not be aware of the fact that I am called as a professional counselor to focus on the needs of those I call clients.  I am also not suggesting that I should forget that the ethical rules of my licensing board are intended to keep me focused on keeping the needs of the client primary.  I am suggesting that first and foremost when meeting with a client or anyone I am a flawed, vulnerable, challenged human being who is called to quietly be with the pain and joy of others; to love unconditionally; to take responsibility for not knowing how to make the relationships safe enough to move beyond the behavior which masks the pain.
 
In short the challenge is to show up with as much vulnerability/realness as I invite others I encounter to do.
 
Written March 22, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett, LPC, AADC
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Just ask
 
I have recently read  several reports that gun sales, including hand guns and ammunition, have significantly increased.  One article in the local News-Registers on March 19, 2020 reported that background checks for gun purchases numbered 4300 on March 17, 2020 in Pennsylvania.  This is 3 times the typical daily rate.  From what I have read this increase is true across the United States.  Apparently gun sales and ammunition are generally up in an election year.  “But this past January and February have outpaced 2016 by nearly 350,000 sales.  
 
Thus, it seems both the fact that it is an election year and the fact that the coronavirus has come to visit is prompting many individuals to arm themselves with more guns and ammunition for existing and new guns.
 
I  am not completely  uneducated. I do know that many in the United States are very attached to what they claim is their second amendment right to  own and carry guns.  In many states in the States it is legal to open carry firearms.  30 states have very permissive open carry laws.  Some other states have less permissive open carry laws while others now allow for open carry in churches and on college campuses. Six states have limited open carry laws. (alienholsters.com)
 
I grew up in the country and while some people may have had guns other than for hunting, I was generally not aware of anyone shooting at or even threating to shoot anyone.  Certainly there was racism, sexism, homophobia and other forms of oppression which could erupt into violence,  I was very aware of that behavior, especially in the school yard.  Yet, I do not recall a love affair with guns.  I do vaguely remember that at some point my father bought my mother a little pearl handle gun to use for protection when he was working away from home, but, to my knowledge she never used it or even  threatened anyone with it. For the most part we country folks had open door policies and, God knows, nothing worth stealing.
 
As a counselor I accept the power of fear in the lives of us humans and the temptation to allow fear to take charge.  Both the upcoming November elections and now the side effects of the visit by the Covid-19 virus are proving fertile breeding grounds for fear.  I also understand that some people initially panicked and began purchasing most available supplies of food and products such as toilet paper.   At this time, however, most are finding that  there is little shortage of food or paper products. There is still a shortage of tests and testing facilities for Covid-19 as well as masks, home thermometers and some other medical related products.  It may take some time for the manufactures and distributors to correct those shortages.
 
On a personal and professional level I am finding the same spirit which has been duly noted by many.  Any time there are conditions or events resulting in great need, most people gladly donate time, money, supplies, meals and transportation to their near and distant neighbors.  Daily I get inquiries about whether I need anything.
 
At the same time, there are those whose lives have apparently been taken over by fear of Covid-19 and apparent fear that some will attempt to steal their food or rolls of toilet paper.   I suspect if we could access such information that those who are purchasing guns are  the same people who are hoarding supplies of food and paper products.  Perhaps I am wrong and no one is anticipating the need to protect their supply of toilet paper and food with fire power.  I do, however, also have to wonder if the same folks who have falsely branded some as criminals, addicts, immigrants and other undesirables by some segments of the population are going to use their fear of Covid-19 as an excuse to fuel these false assumptions.
 
My advice is to stop buying guns; stop feeding fear and misinformation;  lay down one’s prejudices and labels.  If you need something  just ask.  I and most people I know are already busy sharing money, time, love, food and other resources.   No more guns needed. We are one people whose hearts can beat in synch with each other.  We are  neighbors.
 
Just ask.

Written March 20, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
​coachpickett.org