​Sick and tired
 
I chatted with two different people recently who are sick and tired of being sick and tired but were not yet able to allow themselves to take the next step towards recovery from active addiction.
 
Those of us who work with and love those addicted to life threating drugs including alcohol or other life threating habits have to daily decide to practice the advice we give to addicts.  We have to surrender to the fact that we are not more powerful than the addiction, illness or other habits.   It is up to the addict to decide if he or she is ready to surrender to the fact that they have to be ready to do whatever it takes to have a life free of active addiction.  There are many factors other than the side effects of the drugs an addict is using which can affect the addict’s ability to make this decision:  co-occurring illnesses such as depression, acute anxiety and many others. Although we like to think that we have free will and it is true that sometimes, out of desperation, an addict will make the decision to enter treatment – not because he or she is feels that they have a choice but because they can accept that what they are doing is not working.   In other words, they follow the advice of someone else or return to something they have tried before.
 
For me to surrender to the fact that I have no control over the addiction or the addict who is being controlled by his or her addiction means that I have to practice unconditional love; unconditional acceptance.   This means that my love has to be free of conditions or expectations.   I need to love knowing that the person may not get into treatment and may end up as one more statistic.
 
When an addict or a mentally ill person is unable to surrender and begin a recovery journey or when an addict begins to surrender and then is unable to continue, we let them know that we are still here ready to be supportive.  We also reach out to others who know what it is like to have no control over an ill person they love.   We remind each other to not take the addiction or the action of the addict personally even if the action of the addict has deeply affected us financially, spiritually, and emotionally on a very personal level.
 
In other words, we surrender to our powerlessness just as we recommend that the addict surrender to their powerlessness over the drug or behavior of choice; to the fact that once they take that first drug or engage in that first addictive behavior they are powerless.   We may, as is true for the addict,  practice doing this one hour or one day at a time.  We may find ourselves surrendering and then attempting to control again.  We keep coming back to whatever version of the serenity prayer we practice:
 
            God (of my belief/understanding) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference
 
Written July 30, 2018
 
 
 

​Sunday Musings – July 29, 2018
Sawubona
 
Psychologist Susan David in her Ted talk entitled “The Gift and Power of Emotion Courage” begins by introducing the South African Zulu word ‘sawubona”.  She says, “sawubona literally translated means, “I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.” It is also the word for hello.
 
I found myself wondering, as I listened to her talk, what changes could occur if as we greet ourselves and each other we actually allow ourselves to see each other.  We would then clearly be more than the labels that others assigned us or we assigned ourselves.
 
One of my spiritual goals is to practice being as honest with myself as I can be and to actually “see” and “face” myself without any judgment but with the commitment to be the best person I can be. This means facing myself as a person with gifts /talents and shortcomings.   My tendency is to not only notice my shortcoming but to immediately start giving myself a good scolding or to tell myself that my shortcomings are so dominant that I will never be worth love or respect.  I know that this is an old message that I picked up early in life and I know that it was a lie then and it is a lie now.  My other tendency is to accept the negatives others say about me even if they do not seem accurate or true.  I have been known to spend a lot of time searching my memory for some instance when I might have committed the “sin” of which I have been accused.  Obviously, there are times when I can easily remember a “sin” or a behavior which I now regret.  If I have not already done so, I explore whether it is possible and prudent to make amends.
 
At this same time, this week I was again particularly aware of the fact that we only have today. The recent death of my brother-in-law, a 66 year old colleague and of a young man dying of a drug overdose were stark reminders of this fact. 
 
When I focus on my fears, the mistakes I make or the hurts that I have caused I am only seeing a part of myself.    When I focus on the fears, the mistakes, or the perceived differences of others I do not see them.   When I focus on only the negatives or only on the positives I do not see.  From the viewpoint of the Zulus, there is no depth to my seeing.
 
I recall that long before cataract surgery became so available in this country that I and other counselors who might be working with/for those who had cataracts were asked to spend time walking around with oil or Vaseline rubbed on our glasses so that we could have the experience of seeing the world as those with cataract might be seeing it.
 
Psychologist Susan David suggest we practice seeing ourselves and others as we are without the oil on our glasses. When her father died and she was a teenager she did not allow herself or others to “see” her grief. She did all she could to hide what she was feeling.  By hiding the grief, she hid much or most of who she was.  Once she started to allow herself to own and share the grief she was able to be more than her grief.  In her mind, this was no different that hiding the apartheid which was so present in her home country.  Only by “seeing” it and by beginning to see each other could that system change.
 
As I begin this week I shall attempt to practice “sawubona”.
 
Written July 29, 2018

​The power of the body to heal
 
I was listening to the broadcast of People’s Pharmacy while at the gym this morning.  Since I was at the gym and on the treadmill, I did not write down the name of the guests who talked about the power of the human body to heal itself.  The current program is not yet posted on their web site and, thus, I must apologize for not giving their guests any credit for citing further proof of the power of the human  body to heal itself.
 
Many years ago I heard – perhaps on a People’s Pharmacy program – that another way of referring to what many call the placebo affect is “remembered wellness”.  My understanding is that if one’s brain thinks that one has taken something which is going to help heal some part of the body, the brain begins to send out healing instructions to that part of the body.  Study after study has documented the  positive results of the placebo effect.  Many ancient traditions have long known that positive thoughts and energy from the patient as well as from others can facilitate healing.
 
We know that if a person thinks that a treatment is not going to help or if there is nothing that they can do to help their body heal that they may experience a lot of negative stress and may even give up.  They may feel angry at their pain, their disease, or their helplessness.   This results in stress. We also know from many studies that chronic stress will systematically break down the functioning of various parts of the body and eventually result in permanent disability or even death.  This has been most clearly documented in studies of people who are living in a war zone for extended periods of time either as a combatant, a civilian or a support person for the combatants.
 
It is normal and healthy when presented with a danger – internal or external – to attend to that danger.  When possible after being alerted one then takes action to reduce or eliminate the source of the stress.   When one has a chronic source of stress there may not be anything that one can do.  If in a war zone one may not be able to leave.  If the chronic stress is physical or psychological pain than one needs to just notice it, thank the body for alerting one and then let the body know that no action is needed. Dr. Steven  Levine (hopefully my memory is correct) was an early pioneer in teaching those with chronic pain to just be with the pain rather than fighting it or getting angry.  When folks could learn to allow themselves to just be with the pain, the pain level decreased, medication could be reduced and quality of life was improved.  This was, I believe, both because when one is not fighting the pain the tenseness around the area of the pain decreases and if the body is not fighting the pain, it can focus on healing (not necessarily cure).
 
If the chronic pain/discomfort is anxiety one can learn to just notice it and very lovingly remind oneself that one is more than and stronger than the anxiety. Again, the stress will be reduced because one is not fighting with the anxiety.  Additionally, the body will marshal its energy to do whatever the anxiety is saying it cannot do.
 
Our bodies are amazing.  Although they are not designed to live forever, one can, by respecting and learning to work with the power of the body, have a more enjoyable life.
 
 
Written July 28, 2018
 
 
 
 

​Darkness, despair vs hope, opportunity
 
The July 26, 2018 podcast of On Being is a conversation between Senator Cory Booker and the host of On Being, Krista Tippett. The title of the conversation is “Civic Spiritual Evolution” Senator Booker is a man I have long admired.   Obviously, admiring someone does not mean that we always agree on an approach to a problem or which issues on which to focus.  It does mean that we both see the challenges which are facing the United States and all its citizens as spiritual challenges.  Although his spiritual understanding can and may often be expressed in terms of the Christian tradition, his vision is much wider than one which can be contained in any religious tradition.  The fact that he describes the approach he believes we need to take towards healing as a “Civic, Spiritual Evolution” speaks volumes.
 
During his conversation with Mrs. Tippett he recounts a conversation with Ms. Jones about how to view sections of the city of Newark, New Jersey.  Ms. Jones asked him to describe the neighborhood.  He replied: “. the drug dealing, the projects, the abandoned buildings.”  Then Ms. Jones said to him: “Boy, you need to understand that the world you see outside of your is a reflection of what you have inside of you, and if you’re one of those people who only sees darkness, despair, that’s all there’s ever gonna be.  But if you see hope, opportunity, if you’re stubborn enough to, every time you open your eyes, see love and the face of God, then you can be a change agent here. Then you can make a difference.”
 
The first person I talked to this morning was a woman who is faced with the fait accompli regarding the ruling that her grandson is being adopted by foster parents and that she and her husband have no legal rights to even visit him.  Needless to say, she and her husband are very sad and frustrated.  The reason she lost custody of her grandson was her addiction to alcohol and a very old domestic violence charge also related to her addiction to alcohol.  She has completed an intensive treatment program and remains very active in a 12-step recovery program.  I thought the decision to allow the foster parents to adopt the grandson was made without considering her recovery.   Yet, if she holds on to anger and resentment she will feel terrible and she will be doing the same thing which has been done to her.  The challenge is to see herself in the foster parent and the staff of the Child Protective Services. If hate, judgment, and lack of faith in the recovery process led to the decision and she sees only judgment and hate in return then the cycle will go on and on and on.   The revolution is a spiritual one no matter upon what stage it is acted. The clear challenge is to quit duplicating hate, fear, and other negative behavior.
 
For most of us it seems natural to respond to negative mistreatment with negative mistreatment.  Yet, if we continue to see only the surface protective shields in each other the cycle of verbal, physical and emotional mistreatment of each other will continue.
 
This was the challenge which Ms. Jones presented to Senator Booker.  As a sitting United States Senator who serves on committees such as the Foreign Relations Committee, among others, his challenge to be that often-rare voice which is not responding to hate and violence with more hate and violence.  Whether dealing with the rhetoric of the leaders of Iran, Israel or some terrorist group the challenge is to see hope, opportunity, love and the face of God.  I am not suggesting that we delude ourselves into thinking that the drunk or the person high on some other drugs can engage in a logical conversation.  Neither am I suggesting that the leaders of our nation practice speed dating with leaders of countries with a history of violence.  I am not going to invite the active drug addict who is desperate for money to pay for his/her next fix into my home and immediately give them access to my bank account. I am suggesting that I know that it is possible for that leader to have a spiritual epiphany; for that drug addict to find their way to recovery and self-love.  I am suggesting that if I want a more loving community I first have to take the risk of loving the person underneath the costume of hate and fear. I am not suggesting that loving that person as one who is more than their unhealthy behavior; who is more than the person who is spreading lies about my professional conduct will necessarily result in an immediate spiritual transformation.  A change in my behavior opens the possibility of a window or even a door to hope and a more just and loving community/world.
 
Near the end of the conversation between Ms. Tippett and Senator Booker he quotes Mother Theresa when she responded to a journalist who asked how she measures success.  “And she says,
I wasn’t called to be successful. I was called to be faithful.”  I must ask myself what it might mean to be faithful to the challenge Ms. Jones presented to Senator Booker.
 
Written July 27, 2018



 

​Beneath this costume 
Hardly a day goes by that I do not hear myself or someone else I respect saying something about the way an individual, mother nature or the God of their understanding should function.    In fact, just this morning after seeing short video a friend of mine had posted on his Facebook page I heard myself saying, “This is the way all judges should function.” 
 
It was luck, happenstance, fate or divine interventions that I saw this video.  I do not browse the postings of my Facebook Friends.  At most I post my bog on Facebook.  Occasionally, however, I will get a notice that someone I know had posted something which piques my interest and I will, if time permits, check it out.  Even less often I will then scroll down to see what else this person has posted.   This morning, Richard Deenis re- posted a short video which has gone viral.  This video features Rhode Island Judge Fran Caprio ruling in a couple of cases and then saying, “I don’t wear a badge under my robe. I wear a heart under my robe.” In one of the cases which is featured on the video a woman gets a ticket marked 9:59 a.m. for parking at a place one could not park at until 10:00 a.m.   In another case a woman had parked partly on a sidewalk.  The fine is $50.00 and he asks the woman and her daughter if she pays the fine how much money she will have left for breakfast.  She says $5.00 your honor.  He dismisses both the charge and, thus, the fines suggesting in the latter case that the mother buy her daughter breakfast.
 
I suspect that the reason this video is going viral is that most of us believe that a little common sense and a heart would often do more to create a just and safe community than attempting to practice zero tolerance for anyone breaking the letter of the law. The officer who gave the woman a ticket for being parked one second too early at the parking spot or the one who ticketed the woman who was a little on the sidewalk were doing his or her duty as they saw it.  Technically I suppose none of us should break the law no matter how trivial it seems.
It seems easy for us humans to fall into a self-righteous, judgmental, legalistic approach to community issues.  Yet, when it comes to a situation which directly affects us we may suddenly morph into the person who is in favor of a little common sense and a heart.
 
Perhaps we often forget to ask ourselves our motivation for taking an action.  Potential motivations are:
 
            To prove who is has the power.
 
            We are angry because in a similar situation no one showed us any compassion.
 
            We want to punish the person because we have tried to be perfect.
 
            We want to see the world through very simplistic (black and white) lens.
 
              We are fearful that the God of our understanding will be unhappy if we do not do w
             what we can to ensure that HIS/HER law is obeyed. (Our concept of god is often, I                 fear, a small minded, weak ego being who gets his/her feelings hurt very easily.)
 
I think that Judge Caprio echo’s what makes sense to us.  I think this is why it is going viral.  I also think his behavior makes sense to the God of my understanding.  
 
Perhaps we could all check our motives more often and allow our hearts and our common sense to have a strong role in creating a community which would be safer, more just and even more financially stable.
 
Written July 26, 2018

​Sick and tired of being sick and tired
 
At the 12 step recovery program meetings or a treatment centers based on the 12-step program one will hear that before a person is able to successfully use the 12-step program to claim or reclaim a life free or active addiction one has to be sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Often, in my experience a person is indeed sick and tire of being sick and tired, but when he or she begins to feel better and have the illusion of being in control they may decide that they do not need to daily practice spiritual, emotional and cognitive growth.  The next step may be beginning to believe that they can use “just a little” and then stop or it may be that they begin to believe that they can use a different “drug” than their drug of choice. The process of relapse seems to be the same whether the addictive drug is alcohol, some other drug, food, sex, gambling, power, or possessions/toys.
 
Recently, as I was getting ready to facilitate a treatment group at a 12-step oriented residential and outpatient treatment center, I asked a person who had formerly been a resident what else we as staff could do to help prevent relapse after clients leave.  He said that there was nothing else the staff could do: “People have to want recovery bad enough.”  When I was working with/for this client it certainly seemed to me that he really, really wanted a life free from active addiction bad enough, but after he had been out of the treatment program for a time he relapsed. He is now back in recovery using the 12-step recovery program and other resources. He is doing really well.
 
Part of me can readily accept what he is saying. For too many years I tried various aids to help me quit smoking. All of them worked until I found a new reason/excuse to give into the urge to smoke cigarettes.  Finally, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and make a clear decision to not pick up a cigarette no matter what. I had to make this decision often.  Even many years later I sometimes have an urge to smoke.   If I am honest, for many years I wanted to be a non-smoker who did could occasionally smoke.   I had a friend who could smoke a cigarette once every three week or so. She had no craving to smoke but occasionally enjoyed smoking a cigarette.   I can do that with alcohol and have zero desire to use other recreational drugs but not with nicotine.   For me, nicotine is clearly an addiction. I can never do just one cigarette without that one cigarette triggering a powerful urge to smoke another one.
 
The question for all addiction treatment staff is what can we do to help those addicted to alcohol and other life-threatening drugs to get sick and tired of being sick and tired.  If asked in a more positive way the question is what we, as treatment staff, can do to help individuals surrender to the power of the addiction. We can, of course, advise them to get and work with a sponsor, attend meetings, work the steps, stay away from people, places and things which could trigger a relapse but, as noted above, that is frequently not enough to facilitate complete surrender.
 
I can well understand that someone new in recovery cannot imagine a good or satisfying life without the use of their drug of choice.  If one has told oneself for years or even a lifetime that one cannot face life on life’s terms without mind numbing drugs it is difficult to accept a new truth.  Accepting this possibility on faith may go against everything the addict has experienced thus far in this life journey. Often individuals who enter a treatment program have no history of being able to trust anyone. Perhaps their only trust relationship was with a grandparent who is now deceased.  Now we, as treatment professionals, are suggesting that they trust a stranger; a sponsor, counselor or other person who cannot possibly know what they are feeling or experiencing.   Eventually, one might realize that a sponsor or even a counselor has a similar history, but one might still have a difficult time imagining that one can have the life one perceives the counselor or sponsor to have.
 
Obviously, neither I nor anyone else has the definitive answer.  Treatment staff and sponsor can passionately believe in the individual, but until they take the leap of faith of accepting the possibility that they are worthwhile and can have a future with recovery no amount of caring is going to make the needed difference.
 
Addicts typically run from closeness because they do not want to be rejected. They may tell themselves that they do not need anyone else.  This is never true no matter what the client currently believes.  Residential treatment staff may be forced to ask as client who has been using on the premises to leave the program. That does not mean they have to leave the hearts and minds of the staff.  When a client leaves the staff of the treatment center can maintain contact.  Some treatment centers already have an alumni association.  Perhaps even those who have to be asked to leave can be considered alumni and can receive regular communication (when an actual or virtual address is available) from, the members of the Alumni Association.  Anything we can do to maintain a lifeline with the struggling addict may, for some, make the difference.  Text messages, Facebook messenger notes, emails, or snail mail or all potential possibilities.  For some phone calls may be possible. 
 
The only real power we have is to practice unconditional love for as long as a person is living.   As corny and as simple as that may sound it just might make a difference for even one person. That one person is worth it.
 
Written July 25, 2018
 
 
 
 

​Grandma Fannie asks: “Your chores are done?”
 
It is not unusual for children to attempt to put the focus on siblings or their peers in school when they do not want the focus to be on the fact that they have not yet done their chores or homework.  If, however, one had a Grandma Fannie in their lives as did I and my siblings, this technique never worked.  While a sibling or peer’s chores or homework might or might not have been done, Grandma Fannie did not countenance “the pot calling the kettle black”. 
 
Grandma Fannie applied the same principle to partisan politics.  Although she, as is true for most of us, had that occasional slip when she would launch into a “Lord help us” regarding some behavior of the “other” party or her own party, for the most part, she believed that both political parties were far from perfect.
 
I can well imagine Grandma Fannie metaphorically taking those in the United States who focus on the “sins” of the leaders of other countries and/or who are frequently telling others how to behave that their time might be better spent focusing on cleaning up or attending to serious issues in this country.  She might even list some examples including:
 

• The importance of acknowledging our need for immigrant workers.
• The treatment of those fleeing violence, including domestic violence.
• The high cost of health care.
• Failing infrastructure.
• Environmental issues.
• Pollution/destruction caused by plastic.
• Lack of affordable housing.
• Lack of affordable and quality assisted living facilities for our aging population.
• Effect of trade wars on farmers and ranchers.
• Increase of ADD diagnosis.
• Gun violence
• Failing relationship with so called longtime allies.
• Need for decent paying jobs or some other ways to address fallout from automation.

 
There are many other issues on which she might recommend we focus our attention.
 
Grandma Fannie would not fail to acknowledge all the progress which has been made in many areas.  She would also be quick to point out that often when there is a natural disaster many people from many different cultures and nations work together.
 
Grandma Fannie did embrace a particular religion and religious tradition but I do not recall her being critical or judgmental of other traditions.  She would not hesitate to recite passages from the Bible she used or from other sources.   She might, for example, talk about taking the log out of one’s own eye before focusing on the speck in one’s brother’s eye or she might suggest that “He who is without sin throw the first stone.”  She might even remind one that “Pride cometh before the fall.”
 
I suspect that political leaders in this country could well benefit from the sage advice of Grandma Fannie. I am sure that other countries and culture have their own Grandma Fannie and their own wise elders who will gladly suggest that “the pot calling the kettle back” or “not noticing the mess on one’s own yard” is likely to lead to results which do not benefit anyone.
 
Written  July 24, 2018
 
 
 

A nation of criminals
 
The United States is not the only country which is guilty of criminalizing behavior which makes others uncomfortable but which is not dangerous. A very clear example are laws which prevent women from driving     Saudi Arabia has recently changed that law. Another example is homosexual behavior which was previously outlawed and criminalized in this county and is still criminalized in many other countries. Obviously, homosexual behavior does not harm anyone. It may make many people uncomfortable,  but it is not dangerous or harmful.  Violently forcing another person to do something such as engage in sexual relationship is, I believe 100% unacceptable. Does this necessarily mean that the person is likely to repeat the behavior?  Not necessarily.   When we term something as criminal we are not only suggesting that the person committed one act of violating the basic rights of another, but that they are likely to repeat that behavior or another similar act.
Yet, is the person likely to commit another violent act? Does not person need to be locked up depriving them and their family of basic rights and ability to take care of themselves and depriving the tax payer of a lot of money over x amount of years.
 
If one looks up the definition of criminal the most common agreement is that a crime is breaking the codified laws of the community. Laws are generally agreed upon to maintain social order or to prevent social harm.  Obviously, there are many laws which are later decided have nothing to do with social harm.    Many laws were made to protect the interest of a particular segment of the community. Laws protecting slavery and discrimination against women are two examples.
 
Some laws are intended to protect the beliefs of a particular religious group.  Other laws clearly protect and/or enhance the interest of particular business interest.   Some would even claim that the current system in the United States and some other countries of campaign financing have a significance influence on the decisions made by legislative bodies.
 
When a society decides that behavior which offends the moral or ethical sensibilities of those representing the God of their understanding and, thus, offends the sensibilities of the God of their understanding, the consequences are often individually and collectively far reaching.   In many previous blogs, I have detailed the high cost of incarcerating individuals in the United States and the fact that high cost financially benefits particular segments of the community   
 
Many laws criminalize a wide range of sexual behaviors.  The list of behaviors which may not please us, but which are not repeatedly dangerous to others is long and includes the following

• Someone who has sex with a slightly underage prostitute who may have lied about her/his age.
• An emotionally immature 19-year-old who has consenting sex with a 15-year-old (age, varies depending on state or country)
• Someone having child pornography on their computer among adult pornography when there is knowledge that such material can get be inadvertently or deliberately downloaded by someone the person does not know and who they have not authorized.
• Someone – even a person in authority – who has consensual sex with a 16 or 17-year-old and does not have a history  of such behavior.
• A young person who learns that abusive use of alcohol is both acceptable and expected in college.  When both parties are drunk thus impaired the ability to give consent is questionable at best. Such behavior needs to be addressed but should it be labeled criminal.
• Someone whose primary sexual attraction is towards prepubescent children including infants.  Such a person may need treatment including monitoring of some sor,t but has not made a conscious choice to have an obsessive desire to be attracted to children who cannot protect themselves.
• Someone who exposes themselves.    (Zip it up. No one cares.).  This again may be indicative of some mental disorder.

 
There are many behaviors which I find distasteful or, at best, not consistent with behavior which I think is healthy or respectful.  Many tweeting behaviors fall into this category.   For profit medications, the prohibitive cost of surgery and other medical procedures, deliberately using technology which is not nearly as fuel efficient as technology allows, use of private cars rather than public transit and a host of other behaviors are among those which I ethically find distasteful and even unjust.  On the other hand, I am not convinced that criminalizing all these behaviors will, in the long run, create a more just, equitable, and loving society.
I am also not convinced that it would  be cost effective.
 
 
Jimmy Pickett, LPC, AADC
 
Written  July 23, 2018
 
 

​Sunday Musings – July 22, 2018
 
It is a deliciously cooler, although cloudy, late July morning here in Wheeling, WV.  I am happy to be at home this Sunday and not traveling as I have been the past couple of weeks.  Although I am very grateful to be able to travel whether it was to spend time with my son and his partner or to be with family as they celebrated the life of my brother-in-law.  I also really appreciate the fact that when I travel I frequently meet and talk with many individuals or families who whose background, beliefs, education, and interests are much different than mine.  I attempt to put myself in the presence of different opinions and backgrounds even when I am not traveling, but airports, train stations, planes, trains and other shared modes of traveling frequently put one in the direct path of those from whom one can learn.
 
Even reading the local paper or exposing myself to the variety of media which today is so readily available challenges me to think outside of the boxes I have built in my small brain.  Yet, my first tendency when reading or hearing an opinion which is diametrically opposed to the “truth” I have already constructed is to flip the chatter switch.   The chatter switch in my head controls the pouring forth of the “truths” just sitting in my brain ready to attack any conflicting information. Just a minute ago I was reading an editorial in a newspaper when the chatter was unleashed: “How can you compare apples and oranges?  What person X did is not comparable to what person Y did.  Blab!  Blab!  Bal!”   Earlier I was reading something else on line espousing what someone else thought was or was not patriotic. The chatter switch immediately turned on.
 
Earlier today I had shared my spiritual intention with a friend.  My spiritual intention for today is “to be still and listen”.   Obviously when the chatter switch has been turned all the way on, I am not being still and I am certainly not listening to the universe or even another person!
 
I like to tell myself that I love to learn which is true as long as new information does not leave me uncomfortable.   If I am learning a new concept in physics, something about the stars, how to operate a new piece of equipment or even a baking tip I may furrow my brow as I try to meld the new information with the old, but I am not emotionally uncomfortable.
 
Of course, I know that my thoughts have had many different influences starting at a very early age.   All I “know”’ is frequently constructed on a very shaky foundation.   Yet, there is some temporary comfort in pretending that I can relax and predict a piece of the future based on what I know.  When I cannot pretend I have to give up the illusion that I can predict the future and open myself to new possibilities.
 
In my role as a counselor I am constantly asking others to face the discomfort of opening themselves to a new way of thinking about themselves and the world.  I want to stay very aware of what I am suggesting/asking of others and be willing to do the same.
 
Today, I will be more aware of the chatter and, when noticing it, breathe, allow the switch to shut off, and stay open to new ideas and possibilities.  I know that I may stay open for a second and then allow the chatter to resume.  No matter how often this occurs I will notice, breathe and open.  Notice, breath and open.  Notice, breath and open!
 
Written July 22, 2018
 
 
 
 

​The magic of math
 
Frequently as I and many of my friends age, I bear witness to statement suggesting that the current generation is not nearly as disciplined, educated, moral or otherwise  “wise and saintly as our generation”.   I also remember my grandparents and then my parents making similar statement. It seems that every successive generation agonizes about the deficiencies of the younger generation. It is helpful for me to keep these concerns in perspective. 
 
Just this morning I had a note from a friend worried that the younger generation is not learning basic math skills.  I was reminded of why I love math so much and why I find it so magical.
 
When I graduated from high school I had merely learned that math class was a boring exercise in memorizing formulas or tables such as multiplication tables.  This math had nothing to do with the fact that I also learned the value of precise measurements and how to measure and cut tile, wood and other material to create intricate designs, to ensure that a house did not fall over because it was not level or straight, to calibrate the setting on spark plugs and a host of other useful skills.
 
It was not until someone suggested to me that math is simply a language for talking about or describing relationships that I found it magical. I am pretty sure it was a musician who imparted this bit of wisdom.  He or she also suggested that music was also a language for talking about relationships.  The led to a discussion about systems and how each piece of a system is an integral part of the whole which forms the magic of a building such as Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Water, Michelangelo’s statue of David or a Mozart Symphony.
 
Later I would learn that theology was also a system which attempted to explain how the parts of the universe took care of each other.   Psychology was a system for exploring both the internal interdependence and the external interdependence of the human with the rest of the universe.  Illness I would learn was a symptom that something in the system was off balance.  
 
The computer on which I am typing is a magical example of how the language of numbers is used to allow me to put words, phrases and sentences together to form poems, essays, or other systems to challenge on to think outside the proverbial box.
 
Little did I know sitting in the first, or 12th grade classroom that I loved the language of math. Perhaps Mrs. Williams did attempt to teach us first graders the beauty of this language. Perhaps I was not thinking of using the language of math when I learn that 1 plus 1 did not equal two when it came to my relationship with Mrs. Williams. She taught me that 1 plus 3 equals two; that is, she and her fiancé created a couple when, in fact, I was convinced that she plus me would create a couple. I just knew she would wait for me! 
 
I hope that all the young students are learning the magic of language including the language of math. I hope that they are learning to use math to talk about how we humans can better honor the interdependence of all pieces of the universe or even the individual human body.
 
Written July 21, 2018