​Sunday musings – Everyone is deserving?
 
It has been a busy and interesting week for me personally and for much of the world.  In the United States Thanksgiving seemed to make a cameo appearance as an excuse for Black Friday.  Although many people traveled to be with family and other friends, it seemed that Black Friday began for much of the retail world long before the actual day of thanks.  Perhaps the purpose of this was to ensure that those with money enough to shop or those who have a symbiotic relationship of denial of impending poverty could quickly give thanks prior to the arrival of monetary reality.
 
I was blessed to be invited to join my friend John at the home of his close friends who I had often met but with whom I had not previously shared a holiday meal.  I was also blessed to be able, for the most part, to give my credit card a long, holiday break. Well, that is not entirely true.  I did make a couple of planned purchases via the phone or online.  
 
Additionally, I was blessed this week to finally close on the sale of my condo/villa in Florida. Although the money has not yet made an appearance in my bank account I am assured that it will do so by the 29th of this month at the latest.  While awaiting this money it did not escape my notice that I was comfortably settled in a very pleasant apartment, which also contains a well-stocked refrigerator and a thermostat which magically turns on a furnace and sends heat to keep me warm.  After I have sat way too many hours at my desk I can get in my car or, weather permitting, sit atop the bicycle to exercise at the nearby gym.  By almost anyone’s standards, I have a very luxurious life.
 
Of course while I was living in my small corner of the world, the President-Elect of the United State was busy making appointments of those who will assume the mantle of leadership in various posts, others were busy planning a recount of the votes of some states, and still others were busy killing and being killed as many continue to pretend that a cycle of violence – each side reacting to the other – will result in more than temporary peace.  The week was also marked with the death of a revolutionary socialist, Fidel Castro, who in the cause of insuring that all people could share equally in resources managed to justify executing many.  The actual and rumored life and actions of Mr. Castro will continue to provide material for countless PhD dissertations.
 
Of course, he was not the first to justify the killing of many in an effort to bring about a more just society.   Karl Marx and Joseph Engels ingeniously figured out a way to justify killing off the opposition in a similar effort.   Mr. Marx in the Communist Manifesto redefined when a person becomes deserving of the label of human.  Thus, all humans deserve to be treated with respect which includes having food, clothing, health care and education.  However, if one has not attained the status of human then one can be disposed of by killing or by being imprisoned. 
 
There seems to be general agreement that under the dictatorship of Fidel, literacy increased dramatically, racism was reduced if not eliminated, public health care was better and more available.  My understanding from friends of friends who visited and made a documentary some years ago, the use of solar power, extension of the electric grid, the widespread access to community gardens and medical education was greatly enhanced under his rule.  In fact, Cuba has supplied medical doctors for much of South America.
 
There also seems to be general agreement that Fidel did rule with an iron fist and did not hesitate to take land and other possession from the wealthy.    In the past four years there are confirmed reports of economic reform allowing for some private enterprises and relative wealth.  There are also reports that both Fidel and his brother Raul were very wealthy.  Their family of origin was, I understand,  wealthy.
 
As the Cubans bid adieu to Fidel Castro, the United States prepares to swear in a new president who has promised to “make ‘America’ (actually only the United States) great again” and to restore the “American” dream to millions who are feeling they are not an important part of the current economy and culture.  Anti-establishment, racism, religious discrimination, and isolationism threatens to be the new norm.  The President-Elect does not, however, pretend to be socialist and is not secretive about his enormous wealth.   He is not promising to share his wealth, to pay a fair share of taxes, or to guarantee equal access to education, health care or wealth.
 
Some have called Jesus an early socialist.  Some suggest that the survival of the fittest is and should be the force which determines who is well cared for.
 
 
As we look at the life and work of Fidel Castro, Soviet leaders and others who have been committed to a more equal sharing of resources it is perhaps a good time to revisit some questions:
 
·      Is every person regardless of intelligence, race, religion, size, sexual orientation or other superficial differences equally entitled to access to a set standard of living?
·      Who is human?  Are those who have been labeled sociopaths, psychopaths or even “lazy” (unable to believe that effort will make a meaningful difference), mentally ill, not human and, thus, disposals?
·      Does the statement by Jesus that “The poor you shall always have with you” mean that we should be at peace with the fact of poverty or does it mean that we humans are unwilling to do what it takes to end poverty”?
·      Does it take a dictatorship to work toward a more just society or can we learn to work as a nation together to end poverty and other inequalities?
·      Will political, religious and business leaders always take an unequal share of the wealth of a country or universe?  Is this human nature?
·      Will humans, especially in leadership positions, always exhibit the yin and yang – the best and the worst?
·      Do we have much to learn - both positive and negative – from Mr. Castro, the Cuban experiment and the ongoing experiment of the United States?
·      What other questions do we need to be asking about the spiritual goals of the human’s race?
 
Certainly, it has been another week in which I have been forced to confront more questions than answers.  It is also a week when I must decide, once again, how to wisely and morally use my position of power as an educated, white male living in the United States.  If I am open to that question I will engage the spirit and life of Fidel Castrol, Donald Trump, Karl Marx, Pope Francis, Jesus, the Buddha and others in open, meaningful discussions.
 
Written November 27, 2016
 

​Who am I?
Letting go of resentments
 
During any holiday season, especially those which are associated with the gathering of family – blood and chosen – our human capacity for nurturing each other and bringing joy to each other is particularly evident.  So, too, is the tendency of we humans to allow the fear of forgiveness to be in charge of important relationships. As we all know, the fear of forgiveness often translates into resentments.   Mark Sichel in the March 3, 2011 edition of Psychology Today in the second The Therapist is in discussed “The Steps to Letting Go of Resentment.”  In that column he quoted an anonymous author:
 
"The moment you start to resent a person, you become his slave. He controls your dreams, absorbs your digestion, robs you of your peace of mind and goodwill, and takes away the pleasure of your work. He ruins your religion and nullifies your prayers. You cannot take a vacation without his going along. He destroys your freedom of mind and hounds you wherever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent. He is with you when you are awake. He invades your privacy when you sleep. He is close beside you when you drive your car and when you are on the job. You can never have efficiency or happiness. He influences even the tone of your voice. He requires you to take medicine for indigestion, headaches, and loss of energy. He even steals your last moment of consciousness before you go to sleep. So, if you want to be a slave, harbor your resentments!"
 
This author, as has such wise individuals as Parker Palmer, reminds the reader that forgiveness first and foremost benefits the person doing the forgiving.  Holding on to resentments – those strong feelings of fear which are held up by a wall (frequently of anger) takes an enormous amount of energy and eats away at one’s soul and physical body.  When one has the courage and generously to forgive one opens the door to emotional, physical and spiritual health – freedom. 
 
A speaker I heard last evening reminded those of us in the audience that when one is pointing the finger at someone else one has three more fingers pointing back at oneself.   We have all engaged in behavior which has been experienced as hurtful to others.  We have also judged and resented others. Resentment requires a very sophisticated system for judging that the other person is less deserving of love and forgiveness than I am.   Sometimes the resentment is directed toward oneself in which case we are deciding that we are less deserving of love and forgiveness than others. I say that this requires a sophisticated system because one has to design a set of criteria for assigning positive or negative points to every potential behavior.  One then needs to not only carefully record such points but also has to add up the points for a particular time period. We can then decide who is deserving of love and respect.  Those we deem has having more negative points we elect to resent and refuse to forgive.  
 
I just had lunch with a young man who is clear that he does not want to visit relatives who have been very critical in the past.  Although these relatives may have changed, he is not willing to risk exposing himself to further criticism.  Not surprisingly this young man believes that this person always had choices about how to behave.  Despite the fact that he knows that some of his friends think and behave differently when on medication, he continues to believe that one can override the often negative and critical thoughts of clinical depression or other neurological disorders.   Yet, he is unable to see that he is reacting to negative thoughts and behavior with negative thoughts and behavior.
 
The real fear is, of course, that we may lose control over our own thoughts and behavior.  If this were to come to past, we would then have to ask who we are. Letting go of resentments and other thought patterns/habits requires a redefinition of who we are.   If one could become this person whose mind perceives and interprets the world primarily in a negative way than who is one?  If one is not the loving person who is consistently an actor but can also be a reactor what gives one worth, self-confidence or self-respect?
 
Those three fingers which point back at one while we one is pointing at someone else raises the question of what makes us good or bad – deserving or undeserving.
 
If not careful, we tell others that it is perfectly safe to let go of resentments.  We tell ourselves and others that one can will feel that one is lighter and free of the heavy weight of resentment.  While that may be true, the new weight is the fear of who we are or who we might become if we are no different than the person who has wronged or hurt us or someone we loved.  This is frightening and, thus, dangerous.  Often my judgments of others come out of a need to delude myself about myself.  That is dangerous. How will I know who I am if I am not what I tell myself I am?
 
In this series of inquires I will be asking the question of who we are if we let go of certain negative behavior – behavior which us humans often blame on God, other people, human nature, alcohol, other drugs or situations. 
 
One might or might not want to play with the possibility of letting go of resentments – of forgiving.  Be warned.  It will not necessarily be comfortable, pretty or freeing. We may have to look at our own truths.  We may also have to face the fact that the person who has been the recipient of our resentments may not welcome our forgiveness. They may then also have to consider letting of their view or concept of themselves.
 
Written November 26, 2016
 
 

Hold on to the circle!  Hold on!
 
I am writing on the day after Thanksgiving, 2016 in the United States.  The two previous days I have spent with amazing, giving people in homes where differences in political and religious frameworks were not in evidence.  What was in evidence was that we were bound together in a circle of love.   Some of us had a long history together and some of us had just met.  Yet we gathered as one to give thanks and break bread together.
 
Yesterday I talked with or exchanged messages with two of my sisters, my son, other friends, and clients.  I also had communication from two different people I had not heard from in some time. One I thought was angry with me and one I was fearful that the over four years he had been kept in isolation in a prison in West Virginia had finally stolen his will to live.  The person I was fearful was angry did not need to say why she had blocked me for weeks. It was enough that she reached out and acknowledged that she had been “MIA.”  The other, had finally been moved from isolation to a different prison where he is living in the general population.   The fact that he should not be in prison at all is an issue for another blog.  
 
This morning as is my Friday morning habit I downloaded and listened to the more recent On Being conversation between Krista Tippett and her guests  Béla Flec, the banjo player and his musical and life partner Abigail Washburn, the banjo player and singer.  She sings in both in English and Chinese.
 
Mr. Fleck did a documentary which traced the roots of the banjo from Africa to the United States.  Ms. Washburn talks about the documentary.  She says of what Mr. Fleck learned:
 
“Yeah. And what he had learned and part of the reason the documentary is called Throw Down Your Heart is because, as people were being boarded onto the slave ships, they said, “Throw your heart down here. You’re not going to want to carry it to where you’re going.” And a lot of the slave masters figured out that if they had a banjo player onboard playing the music of home, more of the cargo would live to the other side. So the origins of the banjo in America are the bitterest of roots.
It makes me want to cry just thinking about it in this moment. And it formed an amazing origin to what became a blend of traditions from Africa, Ireland, and Scotland, when those banjo players from Africa and those fiddlers from Scotland and Ireland started playing plantation dances together. That’s what really started what we know of as that early Appalachian and that early American sound. And that sound is based in this bitter root, but with this actual hope — this hope that I can live, that I can live, I can survive. It’s an amazing tradition.”
 
Actually, I had previously read or heard of this history.   Ironically, just yesterday I was talking with someone about the history of the music known as the Holocaust Music which was composed by people in the death camps. 
 
Most of us also know the history of the “Negro” spiritual which was a safe way to express hope and despair. Spirituals were also a safe way to communicate other messages hidden in the music.  
 
My mind then wandered to a Christian hymn which I first heard as a young child.  This hymn was written in 1907 by Ada Habershon and the music was written by Charles Gabriel.  The chorus of the song is:
 
Will the circle be unbroken
By and by, by and by?
Is a better home a-waiting
In the sky, Lord, in the sky.
 
Circles, as contributors to Wikipedia remind us, “commonly represent unity, wholeness, and infinity. Without beginning or end, without sides or corners, the circle is also associated with the number one.”
 
In short, I am again reminded that we can choose to form a circle of love, faith, and hope.  We can choose – certainly I can choose – to continue past Thanksgiving here in the United States to break or not break the circle which can be inclusive of all religions and political frameworks, people of all ages, sexual orientations, backgrounds, colors, abilities, and talents.  We/I can choose to speak in the language of music which may at times be intended to pacify one, but which can also draw upon the depth of strength we together share.   We can choose to sing “We shall overcome” without needing to understand the words or speak the same physical language.  
 
We can choose to gather together throughout the year, join hands and acknowledge the circle or honor the circle that is us
 
Written  November 26, 2016
 

​

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 1 – Week 15
Gender and Careers
 
I am sure that today will be a fun discussion.  The topic which the scholars have been discussing with their families since last week was why some people think that there are boy jobs and girl jobs. 
 
I hear the students coming now.
 
Me:  Good morning class.
 
Class:  Good morning Mr. Jim.    Cookies!
 
Me: Yes, I brought cookies.  Tara and Steve, please pass them out.
 
They do so and in a nanosecond the cookies have disappeared.
 
Me:  I am eager to hear your thoughts about why some people think that there are boy and girl jobs.
 
Tara:  Dud! Boys cannot have babies.  My mother is pregnant and my dad says he is glad it is not him.  She looks really uncomfortable.  I like listening to the baby’s heartbeat.
 
Me:  Yes, this is true that girls are designed to be the ones who have the babies although not all girls are able to get pregnant and have children.  Are there other jobs which only boys and girls can do?
 
Sam:  My mamma said that during a war women did all the jobs which men had been doing. When the men came back they said women did not belong in those jobs.   That was stupid.
 
Sue:  In some families women stay home and take care of the children and do all the work at home.
 
Steve:  My Uncle Matt stays home and takes care of the kids while my aunt sends people to jail.
 
Me:  You mean your aunt is a judge. Actually, I know her and she often gets help for people rather than sending them to jail.
 
Susie:  My dad said that a lot of babies used to die while still in their mother’s tummy.   Everyone needed a lot of children which meant that women were pregnant a lot.  
 
Me:  Being pregnant a lot meant it was tough for them to do some jobs.
 
Ahmes:  In parts of my country women still are treated differently.  My mother says there here she is free to do any job for which she has the ability.
 
Me: I wonder why some people still believe that there are jobs for women and jobs for men?
 
Susie: My mother said that some people believe that God wants men and women to do certain jobs.
 
Sam:  My mother said that was …  Oops!  I almost said a bad word.
 
Me:  I think your mother thinks that we blame a lot of things on God because we are uncomfortable with change.
 
Sam:  Yeah!
 
Susie:  Why would God care?
 
Me: That is a great question Susie. Does anyone know?
 
Tommy:  My dad says that we can ident…   Ident…
 
Me:  I think the word is identify Tommy.
 
Tommy: That is it.  He says that some of us identify who we are by the job we do. If our job is not who we are as a guy, we do not know who we are.  That is confusing Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  I think that is a good point Tommy.  If one of the things which makes me feel good about being a male is a certain job, then if girls can do that job too I do not know what it means to be a male.
 
Me:  What is the difference between a guy or a girl?
 
Sam:  Boys makes a mess in the bathroom because they stand up.
 
Me: That is true. We guys needs to be more careful and clean up after ourselves.  Still, that is just one physical difference.  Are there others?
 
Tara:  My dad says that women can last longer in running or stuff, but guys are faster.
 
Me:  Yes, that is frequently true, but not with all men and women.
So, fear of change is one reason some people think that there are boy jobs and girl jobs and fear of displeasing God is another one.
You and your families seem to be saying that males and females can do the same jobs most of the time if they have the ability.
 
Steve:  You could not be a basketball star Mr. Jim. You are way too short!
 
Me:  You are right. On the other hand there are girls who are much taller than I and play basketball very well.
 
Sofia:  My mother says that many men thought they had to take care of us and tell us what to do.  She said that made them feel better.
 
Me:  Many people believe that is not true.
 
Sam:  Uncle Jim are there any differences except for having babies, standing up to go to the bathroom and being faster?
 
Me: Good question Sam   Although scientists may discover some additional differences, it seems as if most women and most men can do the same jobs if they have the education, strength, size and talent.
 
Steve:  Some people say that women are kinder.
 
Me: I am not sure that is true, although when we encourage children to play house and with dolls we are often teaching them to take care of others in a kind way.
 
It sounds as if most of our families think that boys and girls can do any job they can physically do and for which they have some talent. So far one of the few jobs which only girls can do is to have babies.
 
Tara: My dad says that if women can do anything they do not need men which scares them.
 
Me:  That is one of the issues which you may want to explore.  What is the most important point in this discussion?
 
Sam: I know Uncle Jim.  Keep an open mind!  Uncle Jim is always reminding Paul and me of that!
 
Me:  Yes I am.  Steve what do you think that means?
 
Steve:  It means that we may not know what we know!
 
Me: Very good. If we think we already know what is true, then we will not learn anything.  We keep discovering that many things are not what we thought they were.
 
You scholars did a terrific job as usual.  I am so proud of you. For next week how about we talk about how we can celebrate our holidays and still respect what holidays our friends are celebrating. For example, we have friends who come from many different traditions – Christians, Jewish, Muslim and others.  Everyone needs to celebrate and respect the beliefs and traditions of others.  I have written down the assignment. Steve, would you hand out the assignment?  Ahmes and Sofia will you hand out the cookies?
 
Ring! Ring! Ring!
 
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
 
Written November 23, 2016
 
 

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade Eight – Week 15
Speaking up –  Responsible use of social media
 
This class has been discussing the high cost of medication in the United States, some of the related issues and how each of us can be responsible citizens regarding this and other issues.  We wrote a letter to our Congresspersons suggesting they explore or revisit some of the issues.  Additionally, we decided to consider  starting a Facebook page where we could post some of our concerns starting with  a copy of the letter to our congresspersons.   My assignment was to talk to the principal.  Today we will continue that discussion.
 
Here comes the class now.
 
Me:  Good morning class.
 
Class:  Good morning Mr. Jim.  Cookies?
 
Me:  Yes, I brought cookies. You might want to thank Paul who helped me bake them.
 
Class: Thank you Paul.
 
Me:  Ann and John will you pass them out please?
 
They do so.
 
Me:  I am eager to hear what your parents thought of your letter and what they thought of the idea to start a class Facebook page. First let me tell you what I found out.  I talked to the principal who then talked to the superintendent.  It just happened that the school board was scheduled to meet last week and they agreed to allot some time to discuss the request.  The school board was very impressed with the letter and appointed Mrs.  Stanford to work with you.  As you may know, Mrs. Stanford is a retired teacher and often has published letters to the editor in the local newspaper.   If you as a class decide to do this project, she will meet with you to go over each proposed post.  If she is not sure if a particular post should be published she will take the matter to a meeting of the School Board president and three other members of the school board.   I am very pleased that they are being so supportive.
 
I also brought the letters for everyone to sign.   How about we start with you John.  I have set out the letters here.  One person at a time can come up and sign the letters.
 
What was the reaction of your families to the letter and the proposed Facebook page?
 
Abdul:  My parents were very happy that in this country one can do this.  They also liked the idea that we are doing it as a class so that it is not the opinion of just one person.   
 
Susie:  My family was a little worried about people getting on the site and harassing us. They wanted to know if our names will be on there.
 
Me:  Great questions. Actually, Mrs. Sanford’s and my name will be the only two names on it.  Only Mrs. Sanford has permission to respond to questions.  People can like the page and comment on a post but they cannot reach any of us individually.  Mrs. Sanford will block anyone who is being inappropriate.
 
Amena:  My family was also worried that we could post something which could affect our application to become citizens. Since my name will not be on the page, then it is okay. They said it was okay for me to sign the letters to the Congresspersons.
 
Will:  My parents belong to a group called Black Lives Matter.  They think we need to speak out about what we think is injustice. They are proud of our class.  They also feel good about it being a class project.
 
Me: That is great.  I am glad that the families are being so supportive and letting us know their concerns.
 
Paul:  My parents really liked the fact that the letter was very positive and offered concrete suggestions.  They are very discouraged about the fact many people are still being very negative instead of working for positive changes. 
 
Me:  Yes, I have experienced the same thing.   It seems that nearly every day I get a request from some person representing a group whose messages seems to be very negative.   I mean they seem to want to say such and such is wrong rather than saying or doing something to show people that one has a positive solution or approach.
 
Tom:  My parents were not familiar with Facebook and asked if we were going to be tweeting like some of the presidential candidates.   When I showed them Facebook they thought a lot of things on there were not very interesting or important. For example some people post selfies or “I got dressed in my  new pink sweater which I bought from A&F store.”  I then showed them some of the event or group pages. They too were concerned about just being mean or nasty.  One of the pages we saw was one which has been wanting to buy up all the tickets to hear someone talk so only anti-people were there.  They did not like that.  I agreed that it was not good and assured them we are not going to do that.
 
Me:   I am again impressed that you and  your families are so good about really discussing issues.    Seems as if we near Thanksgiving all of us need to be thankful that we can legally discuss issues and have families who want to be responsible, active citizens.
 
Goodness, the time has again disappeared.  How about next week each of you brings at least one issue and positive suggestion or question you would like to post on the Facebook page?
 
Has everyone signed the letter.?  Great.   I will give to Mrs. Sanford to mail.   Will and Susie, will you pass out another cookie to everyone?
 
Happy Thanksgiving.
 
Class:  Happy Thanksgiving Mr. Jim.
 
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
 
 
Written November 22, 2016
 

​The Beatitudes - Blessed are the peacemakers: for they will be called children of God. (5:9)
 
While listening to a conversation between Krista Tippett and the poet Michael Longley on the NPR program “On Being” I heard Mr. Longley refer to Jesus “as a proto-socialist. And the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, are as good a system to live by as any that I can think of.”   Of course, I thought.  I have long believed that Jesus was advocating a shared approach to using resources and taking care of each other.  This led to my decision to revisit the Beatitudes. It has been several days since I have written on one of them.  Today, however, seems a good day to visit Blessed are the peacemakers: for they will be called children of God.  
 
The Greek word for peacemaker is eirénopoios which literally means a peace maker. One of the definitions given in Strong’s Concordance of the Greek word is pacific.   This was not a word I knew other than in reference to the Pacific Ocean.   The word pacific is defined by Oxforddictionary.com as “peaceful in character or intent.” Interestingly I just talked to a young man who is a sophomore in high school. He told me he has been bullied in school and was responding by getting depressed.  I asked him how tall he was now.  He said 6’1” – not small or short by any means.  I then asked how tall he felt when he is depressed and he responded “one or two centimeters.”   He is, at some level, internalizing the message of the bully who is attempting to make himself feel better by making someone else feel bad about themselves – by attempting to make them smaller than he is.   My young friend does not want to become violent in response to the bully, but, on the other hand, becoming small and depressed is not working well either. His dance/stance is one of passivity or retreat which, in my mind, does not result in peacemaking.  The bully is still essentially alone even if he/she has a lot of associates who are also bullying.  My young friend is still alone and now very tiny and feeling depressed.  Neither are at peace and their relationship can hardly be described as peaceful.  What behavior then offers the possibility of peace?  
 
As most of us know from basic physics, systems are systems are systems.  All parts of the system have to function as an interdependent unit.   If one changes any part of the system, all parts of the system are affected by the change.  In the system between the bully and my young friend the system is intact as long as the bully continues to bully and as long as my young friend continues to react with shrinking.   The bully beneath the costume of bad a  bully is still alone and insecure. The young man who is the recipient of the bullying is still internalizing that he is the issue and miserable.    Either of them could change the dynamics of the system. The bully could extend a hand of friendship.  If he did that my young friend could refuse it and then respond in active or passive anger.   Switching sides in that way would not change the basic dynamics of the system.  Another possibility is that my young friend could accept the hand of friendship knowing that the bullying behavior was a result of the pain of feeling not enough.   Another way of changing the system would be for my young friend to respond to the bully by standing tall and sending waves of love to the little boy who is living beneath the bullying costume.  If my young friend did that then the bully might continue to try to reclaim the previous system, but when it did not work he would eventually have to leave or respond to the positive waves of love.  Either response by the bully would acknowledge that the system had changed.  
 
Another way of stating this is:
·       B = RF (Bully leads to reaction friend) = BS (balanced system)
·       B =  AF (Bully leads to Action friend) =  UBS (Unbalanced system)
·       P/B = RF (person beneath bully leads to reaction friend) = UBS (unbalanced system)
·       P/B = AF (person beneath bully leads to action friend)= BS (balanced system)
 
We know that none of us can change the behavior of another.  On the other hand, not reacting leaves an unbalanced system which cannot exist indefinitely.   Being a peacemaker does not, in my mind, guarantee peace but allows for the possibility of peace.   Judas could have refused to respond in a positive way to the embrace and kiss of Jesus.   The prostitute could have refused the offer of love from Jesus.  She could have said, “What’s your game?  I offer one thing. Something wrong with you? You cannot pay?  Get out of here.”   Either she or Jesus could have changed the dynamics of the relationship (the system). Yet Jesus offered love and she responded with love/acceptance. This resulted in a balanced system.    Judas accepted the embrace and kiss of Jesus. This resulted in a balanced system.
 
Jesus was a peacemaker. At times, one or more of the disciples got confused by his behavior, but in the long run they accept the peace he offered.
 
In some churches, it is now customary to greet each other with “Peace be with you.”   I have noticed that some individuals are very uncomfortable with this offer and may back away.  Yet, some of those offering the hand of peace will continue to extend a distant offer of peace thus allowing the other person the comfort of distance.  Others may  read the discomfort of closeness as a rebuff and get angry. If one continues to genuinely offer “peace be with you” almost always the other person will accept even though they might still need the comfort of physical distance.  
 
Blessed are the peacemaker.  This holiday season as we move toward the challenges of 2017 we can all be peacemakers.  When we hold on to that solid place in our heart peace will come – not immediately perhaps but it will come.   
 
The Beatitude says that the peacemakers will be called children of God. God reaches out with love.  We accept or do not accept.   When we stand tall and proud in love we are  the peacemakers who are imitating Jesus and thus, are the children of God.
 
Written November 20, 2016
 

​Grandma says:  One year’s weeds, seven year’s seed.
 
My grandmother was a wise woman whose sage reminders have often suddenly entered my consciousness when I am about to do something or about to decide to neglect to do something.  I was recently with some of my siblings. Our conversations were often joined by Grandma Fannie.
 
School teacher, farmer, family matriarch, cook, organizer, poll worker, seamstress (otherwise known as tailor except that few women were ever paid the tailor wage scale), and master gardener.  No, she was not in those days, certified as a master gardener.  She did not need that piece of paper for those visiting from far away to know that her extensive gardens planted in the unwelcoming Oklahoma clay were a miracle wrought by her magic fingers.  Besides the luscious rose bushes and the many annuals, the hundreds of gladioli bulbs burst proudly forth year after year in every possible color and hue.   I know she had many other plants but these were her pride and joy.  One of my sisters rescued some of those bulbs and every year I can count on getting a photo of “grandma’s flowers.”  They are just as lovely as I recall them being.
 
If one is going to be a master gardener one generally has a plan of what plants will obtain the status of weeds and which will obtain the status of honored guests of one’s garden.   Grandmother was very clear about which was which.    She did not pause as she aggressively subjected those labeled weeds to the hoe or hand spade to which she assigned the role of jury, judge and executioner.   One was hard pressed to locate any vestige of weeds and, yet, she did not hesitate to send out the minor platoon – we children - on a further search and destroy mission.   Like any platoon sergeant who had earned their stripes she could spot the embryonic weed from the distance of a thousand feet. I swear!
 
Of course, she was also adamant that we understood that this was a metaphor for all of those emotional, physical, or spiritual tasks which we might be tempted to put off.    It was difficult for us children to imagine that a task postponed would grow into a major illness and soon infect the entire pasture of one’s life, but she knew.    One was expected to prayerfully scour the recesses of one’s mind for the weeds which popped up each day and to hoe until repentance was realized and amends had been made.  
 
Weeds were not to be tolerated in any section of one’s life.  Of course, what she labeled as weeds we might rather think of as gifts - but only in secret. We dare not suggest to this wise master gardener that which she had labeled a weed we were rather pleased to welcome.  
 
I may not be able to so clearly label which are weeds and which are the miracle blossoms chosen by God as did Grandma Fannie, but I surely recognize that daily emotional, physical and spiritual gardening best be at the  top of one’s priorities.    
 
Indeed, one year’s weeds, seven year’s seed.
 
 
Written November 17, 2016

​Sunday musings – The courage of empathy
 
This Sunday morning, I am back in Florida to take care of some issues related to the sale of the villa I own, but hope to transfer to the new owners soon!  Through the magic of the internet and radio I am able to quickly access the weekly podcast of On Being hosted by Krsita Tippett.  On November 17, 2016, she had a conversation with Isabel Wilkerson who “won the Pulitzer Prize for her work as Chicago Bureau Chief of The New York Times and was awarded the National Humanities Medal by President Obama in 2016. Her book The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration won the National Book Critics Circle Award for Nonfiction.” (On Being transcript of this conversation).  The title of the show is The heart is the last frontier.   Ms. Tippett also says of Ms. Wilkerson, “She is herself a product of one of the most under-reported stories of the 20th century which she chronicles — the exodus or Great Migration of 6 million African Americans from the south to the north of the United States.”
 
Ms. Wilkerson talks of the courage of those traveling hundreds of miles to live and work in places where they were still treated as less than and forced to restrict where they lived and to take out loans which cost more than most of those awarded to non-immigrant families.  Her own family history includes stories of this movement of immigration and of those who constantly had to change paths because even if they fought in wars were not allowed to work at their profession, live where they wanted.  They were not embraced.
 
She also talks about not only why this story needs to be told but about how this story of the artificial construct of otherness (my wording) forbids the most needed response of empathy.  When talking about the modern-day police killings of black people (or those from whatever race) she talks about the tragedy of the police personnel not kneeling down to take the hand of those who they may have shot – the lack of empathy.
 
As we know empathy is not pity and it is not concerned with measuring who was right or wrong.  It is a recognition that we are of the same family including the circumstance of what thoughts we have brought each of us to this place together.  We need to grieve with each other when one of us is hurt or, God forbid, killed.
 
I have to admit that Ms. Wilkerson’s book is one more I have missed knowing about or reading.  In fact, I had never heard of Ms. Wilkerson.  Despite my attempts to connect with spiritual teachers I miss many.  Thanks to Ms. Tippett and others I am able to meet a few of those I miss.   Due to the magic of the internet and Amazon with one click I will soon have Mr. Wilkerson’s book to read and then to pass on to friends.  In the meantime, during this time of Sunday morning musings, I will direct my mind and most importantly my heart to connect with those whom I have shunned, criticized or judged.   Sadly, the list, even for a week is long.  It seems that many people fell short of my expectations – no, my demands – for how they “should” have acted.  They were not as kind, competent, professional, appropriate, spiritual, loving, or even as empathetic as I.   
 
Last week I was visiting family in Oklahoma and Texas. When I arrived the soul of one of my shoes had begun to detach itself.  My sister Bonnie lent me gorilla glue to reattach it until I could take the shoe to the wonderful cobbler who makes one pair of shoes new again times many.  Sometimes – often -  my attachment to withholding the knowledge of the intimacy of my sameness with others – my sensuous, intertwining, emotional and spiritual connection – keeps me from doing my part to acknowledging and tending to the wounds of others and in the process incurring more wounds of my own.
 
We are all, in some sense, immigrants and we are all those who can welcome the immigrant. The immigrant is, after all, someone who we have decided to think of as different, not belonging or not deserving.  Beneath the mask of – not like me – is an exact replica of me.  
 
In this time of political unrest in the United States and many other countries it is time for me to borrow from the courage of my brothers and sisters who left the south of the United States to travel long distances and to finally open my arms to give and receive the welcome which is the first step towards healing.  
 
Healing is the first step of spiritual growth.  Spiritual growth on this sabbath morning is the first step of healing.
 
Thanks Ms. Tippett and Ms. Wilkerson.
 
Thanks to all the immigrants who came before me.
 
 
Written November 20, 2016
 

School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 1 – Week 14
 
I continue to look forward to meeting with this group of young scholars.    Since I send the discussion assignment home with them with the suggestion that they and their family talk about the topic during the intervening week, I have become acutely aware that these children are all in families who are committed to functioning as a unit.  They all have regular family time together in which they make decisions. Some of them have regular time set aside for family meetings. Some of them rely on sitting down together as a family for meals, especially dinner.   The assignment this week was to talk about rules for meeting as a family.  All the students were clear that there were rules for the family meetings although it was not clear that any of them had written down the rules.
 
Here come the students now.
 
Me:   Good morning class.
 
Class:  Good morning Mr. Jim. Cookies!
 
Me:  Good try.  As I recall we had cookies last week.  No cookies this week.
 
Class: Ahhh…
 
Me:  Okay.    How was the discussion about family rules?
 
Sofia:  We had never written them down, but we all knew the rules.   It took us all week to remember all of them.
 
Me:  That is great. What is the first rule on your list?
 
Sofia:  Listen. We have to listen to each other and not interrupt.
 
Me:  That is great rule. Do we practice that here also?
 
Sofia:  Yes, we do. 
 
Me: What happens if someone just keeps talking and talking and…
 
Sofia:  That is the one minute rule.  No one can talk for more than one minute.
 
Me:  Great.  I will write these on the white board:  
 
         Listen and do not interrupt.
         Limit talk for one minute.
 
Me:  How about some of the rest of you?  What rules do your family have for family gatherings/meetings?
 
Steve:  No blaming.  Focus on problem solving. It used to be that my brothers, sisters and I would start off blaming each other.  Our parents said the goal was to solve a problem or try to prevent the same problem again.
 
Me:  That is a great rule. It sounds as if the family knows that we all make mistakes or have accidents.
 
Steve: That is what my dad says.
 
Me: What about the rest of you?
 
Sue:  In our family name calling is not allowed.  My brother used to get frustrated and call me crippled which hurt my feelings. Then I called him retard.   It just kept going.
 
Me:  Yes, I can see how that would happen.  No name calling is a good rule.
 
Sam:  In our family if it is a big decision we all have to agree.  Recently we had a family meeting to decide if we would go visit grandma and grandpa for Christmas or buy new laptops for my brother and buy the new refrigerator for the family.   Mom and dad wrote down the dollars on the board for the laptops and the refrigerators. The they wrote down the dollars for the trip.  We had previously decided we would save so much for the holidays. Every week everyone put in 3% of their money for holidays.  Paul and I put in 3% of our allowance. Mom and dad put in 3% of what they brought home from work.
 
Me:  It sounds like there are two rules here.  One is that everyone has to agree to a decision. We call that consensus decision making. I will write it on the board.   The other is that everyone contributes an equal percent of their income for vacations spending.  That is another way of being fair while allowing or the fact that everyone has a different income.
 
Ahmes:  In our family you cannot miss a family meeting unless you can get everyone to agree to meet another time.  If someone is sick, we all agree to meet another time.
 
Tara:  You cannot share what someone else in family talks about.  This does not mean that if someone in family was mean we could not ask for help.   Mom and dad were afraid that if I shared this rule it would sound as if we were hiding something bad.
 
Me:  I am glad you explained that Tara. Some families have a rule that if there are bad things happening in the family such as violence no one is allowed to tell anyone outside the family.  It is important that we all know it is okay to ask for help if someone is being abused in a home, school or work situation.
 
We have time for one more.  Who else can share a family rule?
 
Susie: In our family, anyone can ask for a family meeting even if it is not time for one.
 
Me:  That is great rule.     Let’s review all these rules which I have put on the board:
 
·      Listen and do not interrupt.
·      Limit talk to one minute.
·      No blaming.
·      No name calling.
·      Consensus decision making.
·      Contribute equally - percentage – to family vacations.
·      Do not share private information outside the family unless someone is being hurt.
·      Ask for family meeting any time.
·      Keep family meetings a priority- important.
 
 
Sounds like all of you have families who are committed to family meetings.   There is a lot of information on line about family meetings although the focus of a number of them is wealthy families making decisions about the family money or business.   
 
I will print off a copy of the rules which you can share with your families.   Does anyone have a topic that they want to discuss next week?
 
Susie:  My brother says that there are boy jobs and girl jobs. Is that true? Why is that true?
 
Me:  That is a great topic. Is everyone okay with that topic?
 
Class: Yes, Mr. Jim. Cookies?
 
Me:  Okay.  We will have cookies next week and we will discuss why some people think that there are boy jobs and girl jobs.  Let me print the rules and the topic for next week. Everyone please pick up a copy of each on your way out.
 
You all did great. Thanks.  Have a great week.
 
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
 
 
Written November 17, 2016
 

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 8 – Week 14
Writing to members of Congress about the high cost of medication.
 
Last week the eighth-grade students discussed their concerns about the high cost of drugs in the United States. In the process of researching this topic we discovered that there are some laws which hinder the lowering of prices.  The class decided that this week they wanted to practice writing a letter to their elected United States Senators and Representatives.   They and their families were going to discuss both what to say in these letters and the effectiveness of writing letters to our elected representatives.
 
Here comes the class now.
 
Me: Good morning class.
 
Class: Good morning Mr. Jim!  Cookies?
 
Me:  Good try.  As I recall we had cookies last week.  If I have time I will bake some for next week.
 
How was your family discussions about writing Senators and  Representatives to voice our concerns regarding the high cost of drugs?
 
Abdul:  At first, once we found out the election results we were thinking that it would not do any good.
 
Will:  Our family felt the same way.
 
Me:  Are they still feeling the same way?
 
Abdul:  No.  Our family decided that no matter what we have to exercise our right to speak up.
 
Will:  My family decided that we needed to keep focused on standing up for what is right.  Even though we would like to see changes, the point is to speak up even if it seems as if it will not do any good.
 
Me:  Is there a history of speaking up for years in this country about some issues even though it seemed as if nothing changed as a result?
 
Susie:  Women have been speaking up about equal rights for a long time.
 
Will:  Many people spoke up about school segregation and other racial issues for years before any real changes were made.
 
John:  That is also true about rights for sexual orientation.
 
Me:  Wow!  I am again impressed with how well you and your families kept focused on the long-term goals and doing what seems right.  That is very commendable.
 
Does everyone agree that it is important to speak out even if it seems as if nothing is going to change?
 
Class:  Yes Mr. Jim.
 
Me: Great. I really believe that also.   What is the first thing we need to know before we begin to write?
 
Tom:  Do we write to the current people or the people who will take office in January?
 
Me: Great question.  What do the rest of you think?
 
Paul:   My family decided we should write both. Even the people who will no longer be a senator or representative will be talking to other people.
 
Me:  Great point Paul.  I agree.   Does everyone else agree?
 
Class:  Yes!
 
Me:  That being the case, let’s put both lists on the white board. I was pretty sure you would want to do this.   I copied down the names and addresses before class.  Here they are.
 
Susie:  What shall we say Mr. Jim?
 
Me:  Perhaps more important is how we should say it.  I do not think we want to write a critical letter. Does criticism usually bring about change?
 
Amena:  We have talked about that before. Most of us do not change when we are criticized.
 
Me:  That is certainly what I think all the research proves.  So, if we are not going to criticize how shall we approach our concerns?
 
Class:  With respect!
 
Me: Very good. Apparently you are getting to know me pretty well.
 
Class snickers!
 
Me:  First of all here are the rules for addressing a member of Congress:
 
Envelope, official:
The Honorable  (full name)
United States Senate or House of Representatives.
Full address
 
Letter salutation:
Dear Mr./Ms. (surname)
Signature
Respectfully,  
Name
Address
 
 
Me:  Are we going to write separate letters or one letter to each signed by everyone in the class?
 
Susie:  I think it should be one letter to each.  Then families can write their own letter if they want to.
 
Me:  That sounds good. Does everyone agree?
 
Class; Yes Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  Okay. What are the points we want to ask them to address?
 
Will:  Do we have the list from last week Mr. Jim?
 
Me:   Yes.  I will pull it up.   
 
(I posted the list of concerns from last week’s discussion.  It includes:)
·      Allow Medicare to negotiate prices of drugs and medical procedures.
·      Insist that doctors be able to prescribe the drug which works best for patient   If two drugs work the same the cheaper one would be prescribed.
·      Insist that third-party pharmacy-benefit managers negotiate prices.
·      Set limit on salaries for all employees of health care companies (pharmaceutical companies and health insurance companies).
·      Reduce the patent time for drugs and medical devices and make it impossible to prolong patents based upon minor changes such as coating on pills.
·      Change laws which limit the ability to keep price of generic drugs lower.
·      List profit of health care companies –insurance and pharmacy manufacturers -to include amount of salaries over a certain amount.
·      Limit profit margin of health care companies.
·      Pay for cost of medical school and training.
 
Paul:  That is really a long list.  How shall we ask our representatives to consider these.
 
Me: What do members of the class think? How shall we start our letter to the honorable such and such person?
 
Ann:  I have been working on this. How about:
 
“We, the eight-grade class, have been discussing our concerns about the high cost of medication.  We think that the following issues need to be addressed by you and your colleagues in the U. S. Senate (or House of Representatives):
 
 Me: That is great Ann.  It is very respectful and gets right to the point.  Do we want to say anything else?
 
John:  Can we invite the persons to come to our class to discuss the issues with us?
 
Me:  That is a great idea John.
 
Will:  Can we create a Facebook page for our class and post the letter on our page?
 
Me:  We could certainly ask if that would be permitted.  Suppose we think about whether we want to consider doing that and, if we do, we draft a letter to the Principal asking permission.  It may be that the superintendent will have to take it to the school board. Let me see what I can find out.
 
How about I type up and print out the letters and then bring them next week for everyone to sign?
 
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
 
Me: Great job class.   Pick up the assignment for next week on your way out. Have a good week.
 
Written November 16, 2016