Grandma Fannie says, “Do not judge a book by its cover.”
Few, if any, of Grandma Fannie’s wise reminders were original. She received them from other wise people. (This particular reminder is attributed to George Eliot’s character Mr. Tulliver in The Mill on the Floss and Edwin Rolfe and Lester Fuller’s ‘Murder in the Glass Room”. (wikipedia.org)
Pearls of wisdom survive through the ages because they are precisely that – pearls which serve us well in this life journey. This particular pearl jumped into my consciousness yesterday as I was reading a report of the reaction of some members of United States House of Representatives to the decision by the House physician to require the wearing of masks in the house chamber. Several of our esteemed representatives seemed to react like angry 13-year old’s. It is not surprising that some other Representatives responded to the angry refusal to wear masks by their own 13-year-old name calling behavior.
One’s initial reaction might be to question how 13-year old’s, masquerading as adults, attained the sacred responsibility of a member of the House of Representatives. Surely any adult who is aware of the rapid spread of the covid variant could accept the necessity of wearing masks to protect each other and to set an example for adults and children in the United States to do all one can to lessen the spread and resultant deaths caused by the Covid variants.
One might have a similar reaction to the knowledge that, according to some news reports, up to 40% of health care workers in Oklahoma are refusing to get vaccinated. Their decision is championed by the Oklahomans for Health and Parental Rights whose mission is “to educate Oklahoma citizens on parental rights, health choice, health privacy, and informed consent.” They seem to be advocating for and supporting the “right” to refuse to wear face masks or to get vaccinated among other “rights”. At the same time, they state: “Our vision is for a healthier Oklahoma as we face the highest rates of chronic illness and neurological disorders that both our state and nation have ever seen.” (okhpr.com)
If one just looks at the words or aforementioned actions one does not “see the book” which represents the possibility of a respectful discussion. The temptation is to get drawn into a sound bite, name calling battle which is exactly what happened with some of the House members who objected to the anti-mask actions of some of their colleagues.
I am reminded of the behavior of some of Anne Frank’s family and the other residents of the attic while they were hiding out in the attic to prevent their death. The reader might remember that at times they fought over material objects such as a fur coat. For Mrs. van Daan, one of the attic residents, the coat symbolized all she had lost and all she hoped to regain some day. The issue was not the coat but the shred of hope it represented that she and others would survive and be able to reclaim the life they had prior to the reign of terror of Nazism.
We can continue in this country to react to each other, whether that is in the sacred halls of our legislative bodies, in our private homes, schools or other places or we can attempt to hear or understand what vaccines, mask mandates and other symbols represent. What is the fear or the pain underlying their behavior? What do they feel they are losing control of? What hope and dreams are they being invited to let go of? To what extent is their identify connected to an illusionary concept of individualism, a belief in a God who will protect the deserving or some other “piece of coal masquerading as a diamond” which forms the foundation for their life journey?
Father Greg Boyle, director of Homeboy Industries, who works for/with those coming out of Los Angeles gangs, firmly believes that underlying every bad behavior is pain. If we do not see the pain - touch the underlying pain - of those with whom we passionately disagree; if we do not own the pain which underlies our reaction to the reaction, we will continue to throw sound bites or worse at each other and move further away from each other. I am not suggesting that one simply say, “I am sorry you are in pain as I did with someone the other day.” That will likely elicit another angry, defensive response. I am suggesting that a first step is to “know” that fear and other pain underlies the seemingly illogical, immature behavior - our or theirs. I am suggesting that we seriously consider “You cannot judge a book by its cover.”
Written July 29, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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