Shared reality


Most of us know, at some level, that reality exist in the mind of every person. We know what seems real to us.  We may decide what is real based on what we think we are experiencing via way if our senses,  We may decide what is real because two or more people agree to name or label something the same.  We may decide what is real based on a similar stared experience.   


Fortunately, we can often agree with others regarding objects such as a person, a particular animal, a rock or a structure.   We may, for example, easily agree that we are both currently in a particular structure.  Depending on the language we speak we may have a particular word for a structure or even building. If we attempt to further label the structure we may experience it the same.  


We also know that our minds can “play tricks on us”.  Some dysfunction in the neurological system can result in a false association.  For example, Oliver Sacks, the neurologist, in a book entitled The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat and Other clinical Tales detailed some neurological conditions which acutely affect what the affected person perceives.  The title of the book refers to a man whose brain registered his wife’s face as a hat.  While that may seem amusing it is anything but amusing to the person whose perception is distorted or to the spouse whose face is not visible to him as a face.


The person having what are called delusions or illuminations experiences reality which may not approximate a shared reality.   Fortunately, actual hallucination and delusions are relatively rare.  On the other hand, how often has all of us found ourselves arguing with a partner, another friend or our child about the nature of reality?  How often have we accused someone - overtly or covertly - of lying.   Of course, the a person may, for a variety of reasons, deny a shared reality.  On the other hand, most of the time their reality is their reality, What they experienced or remember is 100% accurate  for them.


We may often find ourselves arguing about a current or past reality as if there is a reality which “should be the same” for all: as if there is a reality which is THE reality.   We don’t always say “I experienced this event as X.”   Instead we say “This event was X.”   If another person who was present says, “I experienced the event as X.” we may tell treat them as if they are lying or are just plain stupid.


Much of the time we can agree with others on an approximate shared reality. Yes, the garbage can is empty.   Yes, there are two dozen eggs in the refrigerator.  Yes, this is the car or building to which I hold a title. Yes, our address is such and such.  Yes, I forgot your birthday.


Obviously, overt lying to a another person is seldom helpful unless, of course, one is lying about a positive surprise.  On the other hand, accusing someone of lying every time there is not an approximate shared reality is not helpful or accurate.   The truth is that it is amazing that we have a shared reality with another person(s) as often as we do.


Whether in an intimate relations, a debate about the nature of god, a proposed piece of legislation, a domestic or a foreign policy we would be well served if we quit demanding that others share our reality; if we quit acting as if our reality was the only possible one. It has been famously said,”I don’t know what I don’t know.”  I do know what I perceive.  I may have some explanation or even justification for that perception.  On the other hand, there are many other potential accurate perceptions.  There is no right or wrong.  What one experiences is frequently very subjective.


Written March 30, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - March 28, 2021
Psalm Sunday


Many in the United States of America like to promote this country as a nation in which Christianity is the primary religion.  We know, of course, that the United States of America is comprised of individual representing many different religious faiths and those who do not align themselves with any religion or religious practice. Still, at many Federal, state and local functions the blessing of the god of Christianity is invoked.  Many of the laws and customs of the United States are defended from a so-called Christian perspective.  


As the Christian community approaches Palm Sunday which commemorates the entrance of Christ into Jerusalem palm branches are symbolically laid in his path. All know that on Good Friday he will be crucified between two thieves.  Any Christian will tell you that this story celebrates the fact that the resurrection will follow on Easter.   No matter what the state says or how they label this man, Christians knows that no one could diminish his work or his mission.  Jesus had consistently taught that everyone is more than their worst behavior;  that the state could not decide who was worthwhile and who was a throw away person.  He taught that no matter how much the community declares that success is determined by financial worth, social constructed labels or titles, the size of one’s house or other ways of presenting oneself as more than or better than, all are equally guilty of hurtful behavior and all are deserving of forgiveness.


On this Palm Sunday many Christians will celebrate the reopening of churches by singing the praises of this Jesus person who they believe is also God.  Yet, many of those same people will call for justice by “throwing the book” at individuals.  Even when individuals are finally released from prison they will be denied jobs, access to housing, often voting, and in many other ways be treated as throw away persons.


University of Chicago sociologist Reuben Jonathan Miller discusses these and related issues in his  book ‘Halfway Home’.  We incarcerate those with mental illness including addiction, those who did what they need to do to survive, and those to whom we often deny equity and equality.  We do little to give them new tools (there are some exceptions in some prisons). When they are released they are denied the basics of housing, jobs and dignity which one needs to function.  When they fail we assign them new labels indicating that they are the bad people - the criminals  - we knew they were.   




We have historically done the same with black people and are now determined to create what some are calling the new Jim Crow laws to once again deny access to voting and other rights.  When people do not vote or are otherwise unable to become “successful” members of the community living “on the right side of the tracks” we can blame them.  


We do the same in many South American Countries.  We help to create and support the policies which contribute to them not being able to safely function thus forcing many to flee and them demean or criticize them. In fact, many refer to them as criminals, drug dealers or with other terms which seek to justify treating them as throw away people.


As Isabel Wilkinson has documented in her recent book ‘Caste: The Origins of Our Discontent’ the caste system in the United States of America ensures that people remain in the caste to which we have assigned them. We then blame them for remaining in that caste and/or we cite the example of the few who seem, on the surface, to escape as proof that we are not doing what we are doing.


On this Palm Sunday it is not surprising that Christians find the teachings of Jesus too radical; too threatening to an entire system.  Too many of us are busy convincing ourselves that we cannot be one of the throw away people until, of course, we are those throw away people who are disinvited from a seat at the table.


The movie “Come Sunday” is the true story of what happens to a Christian  minister, Carlton Pearson, when he suggests that the all people are welcome home by Jesus; that all of us deserve Grace - unconditional love. No exceptions.  There was no longer any room at the inn for Pastor Pearson. All of us whose tradition is the Christian framework know even if we can “pass” there is no room at the inn for the real us either; that if others knew the real us we would find locked church doors.


Written March 27, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org














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Serenity


Reinhold Niebuhr is the author of the serenity prayer,  the first part of which has been borrowed by many, including the 12 step program for recovery from various addictions.  The prayer reads as follows:


“God, grant me the Serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did this sinful world as it is
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that he will make all things right
If I Surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him in the next.
Amen


Many individuals do  hot share Niebuhr’s belief in an all powerful being whom he calls God or the belief in an afterlife.  Yet, we all have to face the fact that life shows up; that we are not in charge.  It is true that our behavior as humans affects the total ecology including weather patterns.  There is, in fact, strong evidence that our human behavior is resulting in significant climate and environmental change.  Many will argue, often quite convincingly, that there have been many changes in the climate over millions of years; that the land upon we now stand was once very different. Yet, no reasonable person can argue that plastic bags which end up in the oceans are good for the fish or other sea creatures; that mountain top mining, the increase of co-2 emissions and other behavior has a positive affect on the environment.   No reasonable person could argue that any part of the planet exists without acting and being acted on the environment.  It is obvious to even the casual observer that the interactional balance or imbalance of the. universe is quite amazing.


It is also obvious that we are not god or the gods; that no part of nature, including the weather, checks in with us prior to doing what it does.


Today their are strong winds in many areas of the Midwest and Eastern part of the United States. Us humans are powerless over these “forces of nature”.


The paradox is that while we are powerless we can alter our behavior so that it is more in synch with Mother Nature.  At the same time, no matter what we do at this moment to attempt to be more in sync with Mother Nature, life is going to show up.  People will die today many of which we could not have prevented.  After all, life itself is terminal.   The machines such as coffee pots, furnaces, computers, and the phone, have a limited and tenuous life span.  Diseases such as addiction are going to control the behavior of many.   Pandemics are going to visit.  


Many of us humans, unlike Reinhold Niebuhr,, have perfected  the art of the drama dance.  As soon as life shows up in ways which is not convenient or comfortable for us we initiate our drama dance.  This morning, for example, my laptop decided the trip i am currently on, is a vacation and it should have a break.  The wind so far has not caused the power lines to take a break but they will might do so.  I do not have the ability to repair the laptop not do I have the power to control the wind..  I do have the power to call Apple support and find out that I need to make an appointment and take it is to the store.  I may have to leave it and pick up up when it is repaired.   


I have no power of the pandemic.  I can  and was fortunate enough to receive the  vaccine shots. I do have the power to wear a mask.  If I forget my mask, as I occasionally still do, I have the power to either go back to get one,  to carry extras in the car, or to ask if the store or gym have a disposal one to wear.


So far today I have no news of the recent death of a loved one but certainly i could learn of such a death any time.  .


The bottom line is  that it is my mission to do all i can to live in synch with Mother Nature. When unexpected events show up I can follow Niebuhr’s example to accept the things i cannot change and to change the things I can.  Accepting that this will help all of us lead a more serene life and stay focused on problem solving will benefit all with whom we directly and indirectly interact today.  One does not need a belief in Niebuhr’s god to accept the wisdom of the advice inherent in the serenity prayer.


Written March 26, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​Feathers
 
For many who have a strong religious faith, there is often hope in a life after death.  For Christians who will soon celebrate the story of the resurrection this is a belief in a literal eternal life.  For others there is hope in the daily resurrection and/or rebirth which allows for new opportunities to be one’s best selves.  For still others there is a belief that if one is “good enough” one will have riches in this life journey.  Some religions teach all events are a result of an attempt to restore balance or explain the principles of cause and effect otherwise known as karma.
 
Emily Dickinson wrote “Hope” is the thing with feathers.  The first verse is:
 
‘“Hope” is the thing with feathers-
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops – at all –‘
 
In my work with those living with illnesses which affect the thought process, including the illness of addiction, I have noted that many share the same or similar symptoms.  The most common of these are:
 

• Feeling disconnected from self and others – no sense of community.
• No hope/belief or loss of belief/hope in a meaningful future.
• An inability to accept or to experience an inner strength to deal with one’s emotions.
• The symptoms caused by the illness, i.e. compulsive craving for a drug, food, sex, power, money or something else outside of themselves to fill the internal void or ease the feeling of disconnection and hopelessness.

 
In addition to treating the physical medical issues including detox, a chemical imbalance or other conditions, one must treat the loss of hope.  Sometimes medications such as anti-depressants can take the edge off or reduce the symptoms. With addiction the use of certain medications will ease the discomfort which can set the stage for a change in beliefs (the thought process).  The long term goal is to assist the individuals in finding and/or trusting a sense of connectedness with others and the universe in general.   It is my experience that the loss of hope and/or connectedness with self and others are the symptoms preceding attempts to self-medicate or numb oneself with drugs, sex, power or something else outside of oneself.
 
If I am accurate, in addition to treating those whose symptoms are already acute, as a society, we must address the larger issues of what allows one to claim the feathers of hope.  Krista Tippett, host of the podcast On Being almost always asks her guests what they believe makes us human or what gives meaning to one’s human experience.  Many do not believe waiting for  eternal life following this life journey is a realistic goal.  Sadly when they gave up on religious beliefs they also lost the sense of community which many find in their church, synagogue, or temple.   A  relative few may find a sense of community in the Unitarian Universalist’s community, but even that community often presupposes some sort of religious or spiritual beliefs.
 
I am not herein proposing a one size fits all answer. I am suggesting that beginning when children are very young we must invite them to consider the question of what gives meaning to this life journey. It is not useful to teach practical skills unless one can use those skills to create a community which has a sense of purpose other than collecting things, money, power, sexual conquests just for the sake of attempting to prove one’s worth or even superiority.  If, as Peggy Lee sang, “Is this all there is?”  there are no feathers of hope there is no purpose to this life journey.  The search for meaning always, I believe, begins with the willingness to ask questions; to say what does not work or make sense to one. One of the favorite questions of young children is why?  We must take seriously the question of why?  Why learn science? Why learn English grammar?  Why learn math?  Why learn skills to build the same meaningless system? Why is more better?
 
Written March 22, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
C]\oachpickett.org
 

​ 
Sunday Musings – March 21, 2021
 
Today the calendar used my many, the Gregorian Calendar, says it is the first day of spring.  On the Christian liturgical calendar, it is the 5th Sunday in Lent.
 
For far too many in the United States it is the first Sunday following the death of loved ones.  This is the case for the families and loved ones of the eight people killed by 21-year-old Robert Aaron Long.  Most of these were Asian women.  One Caucasian man was killed and another man was injured.
 
Mr. Long blamed his action on his sexual addiction.   Some interviewed psychologists were quoted as saying that some individuals from conservative religious backgrounds incorrectly label even a little sexual behavior as a sexual addiction.    
 
The church of which Mr. Long was a member quickly disowned him.   In an Associated Press article by Luis Andres Henao, Garu Fields and Jessie Wardarski of Friday, March 19, 2021 quoted a statement released by that church staff as saying that “it plans to remove 21-year-old Robert Aaron Long from its membership because it ‘can no longer affirm that he is truly a regenerate believer in Jesus Christ.’”
 
A stark contrast to that statement was a statement by John Michels, brother of Paul Michels one of those killed by Robert Long as saying, “Although this is a tragedy, I forgive that man and so will Jesus Christ…I cannot hate him for it.  Prayer for his repentance.” (Elinor Aspengren, Ryan W. Miller, Christal Hayes, USA Today, March 18, 2021)
 
There are many religions and many different beliefs about what the god of a particular religion considers justice.  Within the Christian Church there are many who hold tight to what some would say is an Old Testament concept of “an eye for an eye”.  There are others in the Christian Church who maintain that the central or core doctrine of the church is their understanding that their primary teacher, Jesus Christ, taught the concept of Grace which is often interrupted as unconditional love.  Interestingly, this view is consistent with what we continue to learn about both the strength and the fragility of the human brain.  We keep learning that the brain can withstand or survive enormous trauma, but that the balance which permits a shared reality or what some could call a logical or cogent thought process which is able to access and make decisions based on a set of core beliefs is very fragile.  The chemical balance, the ability for sequential firing of neurons and a host of other factors including brain diseases and other medical condition such as a “simple” unitary track infection  can affect what commands the brain gives one.   Does Robert Long have a sexual addiction or a heightened sense of guilt about sexual feeling or urges?  What other factors could have led to his decision or decisions?  
 
The frightening question.  The existential essential question is not what he was capable of, but what factors affect the thinking of each of us.  Whether one believes Jesus Christ was a wise teacher, a God, or both, he clearly understood and accepted the nature of what it means to be a human.  Us humans are capable of being kind, empathic, creative, creators of amazing beauty, and are equally capable of being hurtful to ourselves and others.  We are just beginning to have a rudimentary understanding of the complicated nature of what allows or prevents one of having a single cogent or so called logical thought.  When Jesus challenges the disciples “let him who is without sin throw the first stone” (to stone to death the woman prostitute) they all put down their stones.
 
John, the brother of Paul Michels , clearly accepts the teaching of grace.  Sadly the church staff of the  Crabapple Baptist Church does not accept this teaching and are in a position to decide who is deserving of unconditional love.    
 
Disclaimer.   I am not condoning the killing of another human. I am suggesting that Mr. Michels  needs loving support and help with whatever is affecting his inability to respect the sacredness of others.   As Christians approach Easter I am also questioning what constitutes a Christian concept of justice
 
Written March 21, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

​The gift of the pandemic


Increasingly, psychologists and other social and medical scientists are exploring the emotional, physical, economic and spiritual toll covid-19 has taken on the individuals, families and communities.


Many, such as psychologist Christine Runyan, are paying particular attention to how the direct and indirect symptoms of living with covid-19 affects the nervous system.  (Dr. Runyan is the guest on the March 19, 2021 podcast of On Being with host Krista Tippett.)


Some of the most thorough studies of the effects of chronic stress have been done for and with those serving or living in a combat area for sustained periods of time.   Being on hyper alert on a continuous basis step by step interrupt and eventually destroys the body’s ability to continue to function.  One will see similar physical reaction to those who live with the continuous danger of racism. other forms of oppression, and with an active addiction (self or loved one).  Living in and with a pandemic has some similar effects on everyone, but more so on those whose body has a history of chronic stress.  For example, every black mother will tell you that their children, especially their male children, are taught to be on high alert in public and often even when home.


Anyone who has lived with an active addiction or another person who is actively addicted knows the worst part is not ever being able to relax. Even if the addict is not at home one cannot predict when he or she will suddenly make an appearance.  They may be in a good mood, a violent mood or just not emotionally present. Their mood can change in a split section.  The active addict will tell one that one never knows when their supply is going to dry up, when they might get some contaminated drugs or when the dope dealer or other person to whom they owe money might suddenly make demands they cannot meet.


Asians in this country have had to be on especially high alert since some in this country began to blame China and, by association, all Asians for covid -19.   Those who have been trafficked as sex workers also experience constant stress.


All of us experience some day to day stress, some of us more than others, but usually with some time to relax and recharge.  


When the body senses danger the autonomic nervous system is triggered and there is a fight or flight response.  When the danger is past or the mind decides that one had a false alert one’s parasympathetic nervous system or the relaxation response kicks in.   If one is no longer in danger, but the brain has learned to pair certain triggers one can learn mindfulness; be very intentional about letting oneself know one is not in danger.


With covid-19, not only has the message been danger, danger, danger to covid-19, one is also assaulted with messages such as the virus is a hoax, the vaccine is not safe or the whole thing is a conspiracy or .....   There is a host of conflicting messages  which also causes or increases the anxiety.  Added to that is a decrease of incoming positive stimuli such as normal, healthy touching, economic security (or illusion of same), rituals such as weddings, funerals, birthday celebrations, and the absence of positive or negative facial cues because of masks. For some not being able to lip read is stressful.  The politicalizing of the pandemic has also added to the stress


As Dr. Runyan so clearly points out naming the reality of the stress is a step towards healthy coping.  The response of one’s body is a normal, healthy attempt to respond to the active stress  and is combined with the reduction in incoming positive stimuli.  Listening to each other, validating the reality of the stress, and honoring it without letting it consume one is a step towards surviving as healthy as possible. Sadly, the response one gets from some politicians, and some other “extremists”  increases the triggering of the autonomic nervous system.


Covid 19 is real.  The danger is real.  This danger is on top of the danger of a centuries of oppression, addictions  and other chronic stressors .   The gift of the pandemic, if we are willing to welcome the gift as a graduate course, is learning the systemic price of the chronic stress of all forms of oppression, addictions and other dehumanizing conditions.


Written March 20, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​Recreating the abusive family
 
Individuals often notice that a person who ends up in an abusive relationship does so multiple times. One might have noticed this with oneself or with someone they know.  Sometimes one will hear someone say that the abused person seeks out the abuser or in invites the abuse.  
 
Murray Bowen, family therapist, theorized when we are verbally and/or physically treated as if we are less than we begin to internalize (to firmly believe) we are less then. Unconsciously or consciously, it may then seem as if the only person who can change that belief if the person who implanted it in our brain – the abuser.  Thus, one may keep returning to the  same abuser or the same abuser in another person unconsciously hoping they will give one the affirmation or positive feedback that is needed to heal.  Of course, unless the abuser has themselves healed from the wounds which has resulted in them being an abuser, they will continue to be the abuser.  They cannot give to another what they cannot give themselves.   The abuse affects the entire family unit.  Murray Bowen and many other subsequent family therapists would say that we recreate not only the abusive relationship but the entire family dynamics. 
 
When the abused does finally leave the abusive relationship he or she will often do for the children but not for themselves.  It is not unusual for the abused to then choose another person who will abuse them.  One believes, at some level, only a person similar to the original abuser can give them what they need.   Of course, the abuser does not consistently abuse.   As Lenore Walker and other therapists have pointed out there are cycles in the abusive relationship. In the beginning the abuser may be charming, complimentary, and seemingly only interested In one’s welfare.  That behavior continues as long as there is the illusion of control and peace.  When “normal life” begins the illusion of control is gone and the abuser may attempt to restore control by controlling (physically if felt necessary) the family members.   Eventually this escalates into even more damaging physical and emotional abuse.   The abused may then threaten to leave resulting in the abuser pleading and make promises he or she really wants to keep.  They will manage to maintain for a bit. This is known as the honeymoon period. Soon, however, the attempt to maintain wears out the abuser and  without new, effective tools the abuse resumes. 


The abuser also, as Ms. Walker and others domestic violence experts point out, attempt to holds the abused captive by convincing them that they are not capable to taking care of themselves.  This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because the abuser does all he or she can to sabotage career, friendships and other supports.  Ms. Walker termed the results learned helplessness.
 
One often sees the same dynamic played out in religious institutions, some work places and the body politic.  These groups are very adept at attracting the vulnerable and promising them tangible and intangible rewards if they are devout or loyal believers or supporters.  The politician, the CEO’s and the clergy person will convince the vulnerable or those who have been denied an equal stake in the resources only they care about them; only they or their god can help them or save them; only they understand their pain.  CEO’s or their lackeys may pay the employee just enough to convince them they have no other viable options.  We see this dynamic with Amazon as they do all they can to prevent warehouse  employees from unionizing. If one goes to Amazon’s headquarters during non-pandemic times one will see employees free to walk around and work anywhere with their laptops and often accompanied by their beloved dog.  The environment is pleasant and peaceful.  At the warehouse which the public might not see it is a different story.   The pressure to perform so that the customer can get their order in record time is enormous.  Employees get short breaks  most of which is used up in the time it takes to walk to and from the bathrooms.  For this grueling, high pressured work they are paid a minimum of $15.00 an hour- just above the average but not enough to pay for any luxuries.  At the same time the CEO amasses a fortune of billions.
 
Domestic violence rates are not decreasing.   Preliminary studies suggest that both the the political dynamics of the past few years and the pandemic correlate with an increase in domestic violence. Perhaps it is time to explore how we as individuals and  as collectives are consciously and unconsciously nourishing the climate which rewards the use of controlling power to gain self work and self esteem.  We know that abusers can heal and change their behavior when they accept they have intrinsic worth; worth which is not dependent on being more powerful than, better than or superior to; where success is defined in terms of relationship with self and others based on equality and equity.
 
Written March 18, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 

“The Good, The Bad and The Ugly”


Reading the morning news on KTUL webpage in Tulsa, Oklahoma I was reminded of the epic movie, “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” starring Clint Eastwood (the good) as Blondie, Lee Van Cleef (the bad) as Angel Eyes band Eli Wallach, (the ugly) as Tuco.


The reason I thought of this movie and especially the title is because every day the news is a mixture of the ways we humans often come together to help each other as well as the ways we can justify hurting each other.  Among the news stories this morning was the fact the city council of a small town in Oklahoma invited a Hindu priest to lead the opening prayer.   The City Council members wanted to show that they are a community which celebrates diversity.  Some objected.  Personally, I am not convinced that any religious prayer is an appropriate way for the body politic to demonstrate diversity.   The community includes religious as well as non-religious people. I do think the intent of taking a moment to call upon the best of each of the members is laudatory.   Perhaps one does not need to invoke a particular god to accomplish that purpose.  If one must invoke a particular god by all means invite leaders of various religions.


There was also a story of funds being provided to assist struggling individuals and families to pay their rent or for landlords to pay their mortgages. This is sadly a much needed program especially designed for those whose finances have been adversely affected by the pandemic.


Another story concerns an invitation to the National Rifle Association by state lawmakers to locate its national headquarters in Oklahoma.    The state senate  has already approved the “Second Amendment Sanctuary State Act”.    Senator Warren Hamilton is quoted as stating, “This measure builds a wall of protection around our Constitutionally-protected, God-given, blood-bought rights to keep and bear arms.”    Personally, I am not convinced the second amendment provides that protection. I do think it provides for a military force which can be used under the direction of the United States Congress and the President.   I am also not convinced that our historic use of violence, our support of the use of lethal weapons by other groups or countries to whom we sell or give weapons or our reliance on lethal force by police, much less by private citizens, is in the best interest of anyone.  I am not a vegetarian and cannot claim to be against the use of guns by those who hunt for food for themselves and their families.


Another positive article detailed plans to expand the access to covid-19 vaccinations.


There was also a story about a farmer who defends cockfighting saying, “You’re simply testing and competing the game cock, to test it for the natural genetic traits that God put into the creature, when he created it.”


it is obvious that  many in Oklahoma seem to have a particular god on speed dial and can easily verify what his, her or it’s thinking or will is.


While reading these and other stories I was reminded of the movie, “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” because it is easy for this human to self-righteously read the morning news finding examples of all those whose opinions are wrong or “misguided”.  It is equally easy to read the news though the lens of my Pollyanna glasses seeing only good and ignoring issues which I need to more thoughtfully research or publicly address.  I have been guilty of summarily labelling and dismissing individuals or groups as good,  bad or ugly doing both them and me a disfavor.


Us humans are all a Heinz mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly.  We are all less than gods and more than the worst of the behavior we sometimes demonstrate.    We have much to learn about how we take care of or ignore each other.  We would do well to often “keep it simple stupid” and do all we can to be grateful that we have the means to ensure that we can humbly and gratefully share resources and the talents of each of us.


Written March 16, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​Sunday Musings – March 14, 2021
 
As readers know I am now living in Tulsa, Oklahoma.   Oklahoma is noted for its conservative stances on many issues. This conservative stance is obvious with our choice of national representatives and state representatives.  Already this year, the state legislature has introduced bills to further limit abortion rights, allow the state health department to override local health departments, phase out corporate tax, block courts from stopping evictions, decide that federals laws or executive orders are unconstitutional and tighten protest related penalties. 
 
 
Many who advocate some of these and related measures sincerely believe that their approach is best for the majority of citizens.  On the other hand, those who advocate more liberal or so called progressive policies believe their approach is best for the majority of citizens. If not careful each side not only espouses a particular approach but does so in a way which discounts the possibility that there is only one right answer.    Sadly, rather than having a fact based debate, all too often the goal is to use existing prejudices to discount the person or persons with whom they disagree.
 
Such a situation occurred in Norman, Oklahoma this week when some members of the girls basketball team “took the knee” during the playing of the National Anthem.  In recent years this has been a way for some to  attempt to communicate that systematic racism continues to leave most people of color not experiencing being considered full citizens of the United States.  Sadly, one of the announcers for the game was overhead using racist language including the N word to criticize the action of the girls who took the knee.  Many others have disagreed with the practice of taking the knee during the National Anthem without resorting to racism or racist language.  Those attending the games overwhelmingly condemned the racist attack and supported the right of the young women to protest racism by taking a knee. I and many others were very grateful to the people of Norman  Oklahoma for overwhelmingly acknowledging and condemning racism. 
 
There may still be many who think that the protest of racism should be separate from their loyalty to the symbolism of the National Anthem, but they did not demand that the young women agree with them.   Hats off to the students and all the adults in that community who were able to see that the issue was racism and not disloyalty to the National Anthem of the United States.  Personally, I think the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem only have meaning if and when we are serious, as a nation, about ending racism and all forms of oppression; making a serious commitment to being a nation where equality and equity for all are manifest reality.  Clearly, the people of Norman, Oklahoma think that ending racism needs to be a priority.  
 
My use of labels, including the labels of conservative, liberal and progressive, to paint a group of people or even one person is not helpful.    I am guilty of using such broad brushes to paint individuals and groups.  When I do it is never productive.  Debating particular approaches to living together is a duty of all of us.   My understanding of debate means a willingness and commitment to  listening with an open mind to the opinion of others.   Discounting the sacredness of others has no place in a civilized community.
 
Written March 14, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org