Quieting the chatter
Many of us have very active minds which, at times, can be delightfully creative. At other times, however, they are either full of negative chatter or fliting from thing to another to another. At such times it seems as if it is impossible for us to focus enough to accomplish a task or to relax and get some much-needed rest. There can be many reasons for the chatter including:
We may try many techniques to quiet the chatter. We may, for example:
No matter what we try, the chatter often seems to act independently of us. We may attempt to meditate. The chatter gets worse. It is as if the chatter is a separate person who has a will of its own. I am reminded of a saying which one may often hear in 12 step programs, “Do not give up just before the miracle.” The habit of chatter – of one’s mind taking over to wander around with no positive goal in mind – is like every over habit. The more one tries to control or change it the more it seems to take over. My spiritual teacher uses a simple example of having a habit of taking a bath at exactly 10:00 p.m. every night. If one decides one is not going to take a bath at 10:00 p.m. one night is likely one gets very uncomfortable. The same is true if one decides to quit caffeine, nicotine or some other habit. Even though there will be some physiological changes which are uncomfortable most of the discomfort comes from attempting to change a habit. Habits are associated with time, place, person or object. If that association is present there is a strong desire to engage in the habit Not doing so can result in acute discomfort. It is natural to want to avoid the discomfort. Yet, if one sits with the discomfort and focuses, for example, on one’s breath (particularly breathing in and out only through one’s nostril) at some point one will notice that the chatter has stopped. As soon as one’s notices the chatter has stopped one’s focus is back on the chatter and it may start up again. Just notice the chatter. Do not engage with it. Return to the focus on the nostril breathing and “do not give up just before the miracle”. It is that simple. It is true that the more one has practiced feeding a particular habit – including the habit of chatter – the more discomfort one will experience when one stops feeding it. Yet, if one is patient and has trusts the process, the chatter will stop.
Written September 30, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Many of us have very active minds which, at times, can be delightfully creative. At other times, however, they are either full of negative chatter or fliting from thing to another to another. At such times it seems as if it is impossible for us to focus enough to accomplish a task or to relax and get some much-needed rest. There can be many reasons for the chatter including:
- Excitement about upcoming events such as a wedding, the beginning of school, a new job or an upcoming trip.
- Thoughts for a new book, a new piece of music or ideas for other creative projects.
- Worry about upcoming event or potential upcoming event over which we may have no control.
- Wanting to avoid some painful feelings about a past or future event.
We may try many techniques to quiet the chatter. We may, for example:
- Talk back to the chatter reminding ourselves of the serenity prayer.
- Feed the chatter by attempting to be logical with it.
- Write down a succinct outline of our thoughts so we do not lose them.
- Try to numb self with excessive exercise, alcohol, other drugs or mindless video games or television.
No matter what we try, the chatter often seems to act independently of us. We may attempt to meditate. The chatter gets worse. It is as if the chatter is a separate person who has a will of its own. I am reminded of a saying which one may often hear in 12 step programs, “Do not give up just before the miracle.” The habit of chatter – of one’s mind taking over to wander around with no positive goal in mind – is like every over habit. The more one tries to control or change it the more it seems to take over. My spiritual teacher uses a simple example of having a habit of taking a bath at exactly 10:00 p.m. every night. If one decides one is not going to take a bath at 10:00 p.m. one night is likely one gets very uncomfortable. The same is true if one decides to quit caffeine, nicotine or some other habit. Even though there will be some physiological changes which are uncomfortable most of the discomfort comes from attempting to change a habit. Habits are associated with time, place, person or object. If that association is present there is a strong desire to engage in the habit Not doing so can result in acute discomfort. It is natural to want to avoid the discomfort. Yet, if one sits with the discomfort and focuses, for example, on one’s breath (particularly breathing in and out only through one’s nostril) at some point one will notice that the chatter has stopped. As soon as one’s notices the chatter has stopped one’s focus is back on the chatter and it may start up again. Just notice the chatter. Do not engage with it. Return to the focus on the nostril breathing and “do not give up just before the miracle”. It is that simple. It is true that the more one has practiced feeding a particular habit – including the habit of chatter – the more discomfort one will experience when one stops feeding it. Yet, if one is patient and has trusts the process, the chatter will stop.
Written September 30, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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