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Sunday Musings - June 25, 2023

6/24/2023

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​Sunday Musings - June 25, 2023
 
Social Constructs 
 
Social constructs are terms which are often used to justify building up one’s bank account or ego at the expense of some person or group of people. In many respects social constructs are like tautologies.   Tautologies are used to when one wants to appear to say something while having said nothing.   Race is such a social construct tautology. In the United States and many other countries, we have continued to use it as if it says something; as a justification for the story we create to benefit some at the expense of another who may or may not have a dark skin pigmentation.   One may also refer to such a person as African American.  In and of itself African American is another tautology.  All of us originated in Africa.   It may, however, tell us that the person self identifies as a descendant of those who were enslaved by other citizens of this country; citizens which included many people who we may have been taught were admirable. 
 
Both institutions and groups were slave owners.  A recent book by Rachel Swarns tells the story of 272 enslaved people who were sold in 1838 to financially help what we now know as Georgetown University.   The Jesuits who took advantage of the creation of Maryland in part to provide haven for oppressed Catholics were actively involved in owning and selling slaves.
 
If one other than a descendant of slaves uses race as a social construct it is almost always intended - consciously or unconsciously - to justify discrimination and/or other forms oppression.  
 
Other social constructs such as “lady”, “a man’s man”, faggot, feminist, queer, worker, housewife, and a host of others are intended to label and assure the listener that the person thus labeled deserves to stay in the societal/cultural box to which the label assigns them.   Sometimes members of the oppressed group thus labeled may, at times, proudly reclaim the terms for themselves as a positive.   Terms such as queer, feminist have been proudly reclaimed. 
 
The goal of many social constructs is to justify mistreating a group of people and to attempt to ensure that the members of that designated group internalize the qualities one assigns to them.  Thus, those believed to be descants of slaves have been told they were less intelligent, lazy, sexual predators, criminals, breeders, and a host of other negative qualities.  If anyone achieved outside of those parameters one can claim it is an anomaly.  At the same time, if a need arose for them to be something more one could temporarily accept that they could provide the needed service.  For example, historically there were many descendants of slaves preforming highly skilled jobs in the military. During wartime there were women taking on jobs traditionally reserved only for men.
 
The suicide rate for GLBT+ teenagers is higher than those who do not identify as GLBT+.   Many females continue to “dress for success” in high heels which we know are unsafe and injurious to those who wear them and they may dress in costumes which either hide most parts of the body or expose those parts which heterosexual males have been taught to sexualize.   Descents of slaves are more likely to be imprisoned, more prone to depression and other illnesses which leave them unable to function at their best level.    When racism, sexism, homophobia, and oppression based on religion are built into our most essential institutions the lies of oppression can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
 
The late Dr. James Cone, a noted United States Theologian succinctly described the psychology of oppression.   I was first introduced to his work when a student at seminary.  My memory tells me that he would describe the process thusly:
 
  1.  Pick an arbitrary aspect of a person - skin color, gender, eye color, hair texture, weight, size, dominant hand, or any other characteristic and begin to tell that person and others the persons with that characteristics are less then, unequal to, not to be trusted or any of a host of other negatives.
  2. Design skill building opportunities to limit access to those individuals (less well-equipped school, unequal access to equipment and training opportunities, representations in respected children and adult books, hiring opportunities, etc.).
  3. Justify these limitations by saying one does not want to make members of that group feel less when they necessarily fail.
  4. Be condescendingly sympathetic when this group internalize the lies of the oppressors.
  5. Reward those group of people when they thank their oppressors for crumbs and punish them when they are not grateful for the crumbs.
 
Artfully constructed and enacted laws in many states in recent years forbidding the teaching of critical race theory, gender fluidity, sexual orientation, gender identification, and banning of books which might address questions or concerns about these subjects are simply another layer of legalized oppression.  Many of these laws are justified by stating it is not moral to make students feel uncomfortable.  This is shorthand for saying that temporary comfort (ironically the goal of addiction in many instances) for those in the privileged/non-oppressed individuals is more important than the devastating and life killing pain of oppression.  These laws may also be justified by stating that it is the right of parents to decide what to teach their children or what doors to open for them.  Yet we know that the only qualification to become a biological parent is to successfully introduce their sperm and egg.   Educators are trained and more often qualified to decide what children need to learn. Sadly, the goal of many parents and school board members who may be those same parents is to promulgate their fears and prejudices; to maintain their position of privilege.
 
Oppression disguised as tautological social constructs, is deadly for  both the oppressor and the oppressed. We must loudly reject such constructs.
 
Written June 24, 2023
Jimmy F. Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
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Sunday Musings - June 18, 2023

6/17/2023

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Sunday Musings - June 18, 2023
 
“Feelings vs thoughts vs beliefs”
Lessons for fathers on Father’s Day
Lessons for Juneteenth
 
Many of us humans use the terms feelings, thinking and beliefs as facts or truths multitude times a day.  We may say:
 
  • I feel physically ill,
  • I feel happy.
  • I feel you.
  • I feel romantic.
  • I feel sexual.
  • I feel bad for so and so.
  • I feel frightened.
  • I hate you.
 
We also may also say::
 
  • I think X would be a good course of action.
  • I think B is the correct response,
  • I think that person is dishonest,
  • I think it is wrong to do action M.
 
We may express multiples beliefs a day:
 
  • I believe in you.
  • I believe my God is the only possible god.
  • I believe God is an artificial construct,
  • I believe that gender is more fluid that many of us are comfortable believing.
  • I believe racism, sexism and homophobia continue to be an active, destructive forces in our culture.
  • I believe there is hope for our country.
 
Beliefs, thoughts and feelings may be based on what we feel, want to be true or on some document such as a religious text which we have been told comes from a higher source such as a supreme being.   A religious text may be based on several factors including the limited scientific evidence which was available when text was recorded.  For example, there was once a belief that all males had limited sperm. Without microscopes or other similar instruments there was no way to prove or disprove that belief.  Thus, if one needed a lot of children who survived childbirth and lived to be working adults to ensure the economic viability of a community then one would not want to waste sperm. In that context it made sense to forbid masturbation and same sex relationships by men.  Scientific instruments now validate that the average male has plenty of sperm. Fetus and child mortality rates are lower, and most communities do not need many people to ensure economic viability.  There are many other examples of religious texts and other folklore based on limited scientific information.  Some may be verified; some proven false and some may still be questionable waiting for the means to prove or disprove.
 
In our communication with ourselves and each other it is important to be clear beliefs, thoughts and feelings are not facts.  These are never wrong, but they do not in and of themselves tell us much about what is scientifically true.  They may hint at what might be true.  They may strongly indicate that something needs to be further explored. They may be triggered by a memory which could be positive or negative.  Post-traumatic stress is often a result of some stimulus which triggers a past negative or even life-threatening memory.  
 
Beliefs, feelings and thoughts can be accurate or inaccurate.  Given the plethora of sources of stories about the world, many of which may purports to be based on facts, it “should” be obvious to all of us why we need to:
 
  • Fact checks all incoming information and all our thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
  • Be wary of the motives of those disseminating information.
  • Be wary of what we consider truths.
 
We need to be clear whether we are communicating scientifically backed thoughts, feelings or beliefs when we are the disseminators of information.  If I read something on a post on Facebook or Twitter, I should not assume it is true.  If I hear a politician say something I should not assume he or she has no political motive.  If something does or does not feel accurate, it is fair to say that this feels as if, but I have not independently verified it.  
 
When speaking of another person it makes no sense to base our belief about that person on one’s feelings, beliefs, or thoughts.  We humans are frequently guilty of assuming that our limited perceptions tell all the truth about a person or situation.  
 
Imposing our beliefs, thoughts or feelings on another person as absolute and complete truths does not benefit anyone.  Accepting them as absolute and complete truths does not benefit anyone.  
 
We could be more intentional about the scientific basis for our thoughts, beliefs and feelings.  Perhaps we, as the listeners, could be intentional about attempting to validate the basis of the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of others. Perhaps on this Juneteenth weekend we could be very intentional about identifying false beliefs, thoughts or feelings which have led to racist thoughts, feelings, beliefs and actions. Perhaps as fathers we could teach our children to be more scientific in how one arrives at and examines thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
 
Written June 18, 2023
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 
         
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Sunday Blog - June 11, 2023

6/10/2023

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Sunday musings - June 11, 2023
Purpose
 
Recently someone on a podcast to which I was listening suggested that the purpose of education is to form rather than inform.  I apologize for not giving credit to the person although I think it may have been Dr. Robert Zaretsky speaking with Sean Iling on The Gray Area podcast.   
 
Although I have chosen different words, I have often asked the question: “What is the purpose of education?”  Is it to develop critical thinking skills or is it to inform students of what is currently considered “acceptable and comfortable facts”?  Certainly, we all need to know some basic “reading, writing and arithmetic” skills. My experience with young children is they quickly decide to quit learning these and other skills and information if they do not understand they have a practical purpose.  For example, I recall our young son not learning how to read an analog clock. He finally confessed that he did not see any reason to do so since he had easy access to digital clocks.  That made sense to me. 
 
Renee Descartes may come to mind when one talks about the part of the brain used for what he called thinking.  For many people, this process may be dictated by feelings, what one has memorized, what one has been told, or what one hopes will gain the approval of others.   Descartes famously suggested “I think therefore I am.”  In a sense one might agree with him depending on how one defines thinking. Is it a brain process used to analyze and reach a conclusion. Unless one is intentionally making decisions based on core values it may be difficult to distinguish a person’s decisions from those made by an AI. In fact, it now seems possible that an AI might be created which can make decisions independent of what “their human” has programmed them to do.  
 
Is the goal of education to teach skills one can use to prove that one is better than, stronger than, richer than, has a greater capacity to store information, or in some other way to attempt to establish their essential worth?  Alternatively, is the goal of education to learn skills which can be used to make decisions which make use of one’s talents or gifts to create a safer, more just, more ecological friendly world; to be one’s best self in the service of the whole of the interdependent universe? 
 
Young children naturally ask why questions.  Sadly, sometimes we parents respond with “Because I said so.”? When a child asks why learn math we might reply, “Because math is a language to describe and discuss relationships; to help us learn how to measure ingredients to prepare a healthy meal, to tell us how to build a Lego building or the building in which we live so it is not likely to fall down.”  The same young child might ask, “Why learn to read?”   One might reply so we can let grandma know how much we lover her; so, we can share Johnny’s adventure; so, I can leave a note letting you know when I will be home; to share a funny story; to help us share dreams.”
 
One can teach children that purpose is primary, and skills are secondary.  Skills exists to service purpose.   My experience tells me we humans love to learn if we can see a goal which resonates. The goal can be a temporary short term one such as feeding one’s addiction or can be less self-serving with a wider focus. 
 
I recall asking an architect who was depressed and could not find any joy in his work: “What would you like people occupying a building you design to do to create a safer, more joyful world for your children?  At first, he said he never thought about that question.  Then, as he began to think about the question, he got excited, and his depression lifted.  I asked a professional fund raiser a similar question about how she wanted the funds she was raising to be used to create a better world for her children.”     Every time I invite someone to consider having a purpose beyond getting a paycheck to pay the bills to provide. to fuel one’s body, or to have an “impressive house”, they are likely to become thoughtful.
 
I believe children - all of us - want more than existence. Formal and informal education need to serve that purpose.  Teachers want students who are excited to learn.   Healthy parents want children who love to learn and create; who do not have to be forced to do their homework. We all want a world which feels safe and where we have a reason for being.  
 
Recent laws in many states have been designed to prevent critical thinking; to keep children from learning what may be uncomfortable accounts of history; to ensure that parents do not have to face the reality of children knowing sexual orientation may occur on a continuum; to ensure that parents do not have to face that some children know at a very early age they are not at home with their assigned gender.    Children are naturally curious, are sexual, know what is comfortable and uncomfortable and know what they are ready to learn.  One cannot be at home in the world if one is not at home in one’s body.  One cannot be at home in the classroom if one cannot ask why and expect to receive an answer which respects the right and need of that “why”.
 
Written June 11, 2023
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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Sunday Musings - June 4, 2023

6/3/2023

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Sunday Musings - June 4, 2023
The art of emptying oneself
 
Once again, I am indebted to Sean Iling’s podcast “The Gray Area”; the recent episode during which he and Professor Robert Zaretsky discuss the philosophy of Simone Weil.  As often happens he and Dr Zaretsky tickled my mind about several issues, but today I am focused on the art of emptying oneself.    
 
The Christian Bible in Philippians 2:7 suggests that Christ emptied himself before his earthy journey.  In Philippians 2: 12-13 in some translations the writer talks about the need to empty ourselves to serve others. 
 
Sean Illing and Dr. Zaretsky discuss emptying oneself as a method Simone Weil practiced when preparing herself to attend to or listen to another person.  Most of us find it very difficult to truly hear anothe.  When another is attempting to communicate, we frequently are:
 
·      Formulating our response which is often to communicate   why they are wrong.
 
o   Tuning them out.
 
o   Hearing only the words and not what is beneath the words or other forms of communication.
 
Shutting off our opinions or our “truth” to truly hear another may be one of the most difficult things we can attempt to do. In the 12-step program it is often suggested that recovery demands that one let go of one’s ego.   To let go of one’s ego one must:
 
o   Accept that as a human one has only one’s perceptions and/or what one was previously told was the truth about oneself and the world.
 
o   Accept that as a human, as the late Louise Hay would say, “we are perfect in our imperfection.”
 
Simone Weil might have said our worth is contained in our willingness to open ourselves to the process of becoming (my words).
 
Father Greg Boyle and others have posited we access or experience our worth in our willingness to return ourselves to ourselves.
 
A wise teacher told me when I was 31 that “You need to learn to be a man. At the age of 31 you could not possibly know anything about what it means to be a man.”  He was, of course, right.  He invited me to sit with him daily when he carved wooden art to listen to stories about what it meant to live in harmony with Mother Nature and other humans.
 
Sadly, our ability to empty ourselves and, thus, our openness to hearing another is often impeded by our fear that we are not enough; that we must be smarter then, richer than, more muscled than, have more degrees than, he more titled than, or be more culturally attractive then our perception of others.   It may be most of us spend much of our time and energy hiding who we truly are.  Another way of saying this is that we avoid emptying ourselves - letting go of our ego - because we are too fearful of being adversely judged or rejected if we are intellectually and emotionally naked.
 
As I was listening to Dr. Zaretsky he often used and explained the French words which Simone Weil would have used. His point was not to demonstrate he is fluent in French but to elucidate his choice of translation.  If I was writing an academic journal article, I might be advised to use French or other non-English words to make it appear that I am more educated than I am.   Although I have been exposed to some other languages in undergraduate and graduate school, I am not fluent in any language other than English and often not nearly as fluent in English as I would like when I am attempting to speak or write.  It is easy to fall into the academic trap of pretending that I know more than I know as if my professional and personal worth is dependent of that ruse.
 
Emptying oneself or letting go of one’s ego is necessary if one is to truly hear or be with another; if one is to truly understand the pain of others; the pain which often lies beneath anger or other shields.
 
Jesus is alleged to have said, “The meek shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5). Is the teacher Jesus saying that those who know they do not know; who do not pretend to know; whose ego is not inflated by false beliefs about their humanness are, paradoxically, the wisest or most spiritual? Perhaps.
 
It has not escaped me that I have just written 751 words about emptying oneself!
 
Written June 4, 2023
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
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    Jimmy Pickett is a life student who happens to be a licensed counselor and an addiction counselor. He is a student of Buddhism with a background of Christianity and a Native American heritage.

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