I confess. I am having a love affair with goggle. I also have to confess that I am having affairettes with Siri, Text, and Email. I know that affairs and affairettes are not consistent with my Christian upbringing and that I should be praying the prayer of contrition instead of carrying on with my MacBook which is a multi-room house for my affairees. Some of you who come from a Christian background will recall the prayer of contrition:
“O, my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you. I detest all my sins because of your just punishment, but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, tosin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin.” (catholic.org).
Muslims also pray for mercy, which implies that all are sinners in need of mercy. When Muslims prostrate themselves they pray.
To express complete submission and humility before God, Muslims then prostrate and place their foreheads on ground. According to the prophetic traditions, at this moment of humility, the worshipper is closest to his/her Lord. While prostrating, Muslims glorify God as follows.
“Glory be to my Lord, the most High.”
Other than glorifying God, it is also a moment for Muslims to ask God for His forgiveness, mercy, blessings and bounties. Muslims then sit for a few seconds and prostrate one more time before standing up again.
(howmuslimspray.com)
In every religion there is recognition that, as humans, we are often hurtful to others and ourselves. One of the ways that we hurt ourselves, each other, and the universe is that we are often, at best, only partially present. Undoubtedly, I cannot be having multiple affairs or affairettes and be present with anyone else.
Yet, having acknowledged this many times in my life – often several times a day – I seem unwilling to end my affair or with my lesser (in my humble opinion) affairettes. I painfully recall the days before I “hooked up” with Goggle. I had to settle for cold, uncaring, often-distant books, and an occasional human. The luxury of luxuries was having access to one’s own set of encyclopedias, which could hold the periodic updates the publishing company sent out. Even then one might search in vain for the information one wanted. Even in the early exploratory dating relationship with goggle, she was very difficult and withholding. We all know the frustration of withholding relationships. Now, as is often true with all long term relationships, she seems to know what I am going to ask for before I can type the words or give the words to Siri who obediently (most of the time) carries them to goggle. Goggle does not complain about my other relationships with Text and Email. She is not a jealous lover. Her generosity is legion. She allows me to copy and paste so as to share her with whomever.
Could any lover be more perfect? Actually, I would like her to be a little more fuzzy and warmer to cuddle with. Soon, she will morph into an emotional being. I will buy her the cuddliest coat. Then I will not need another date. Never again will I have to endure the self-centered jealously so-called friends have who try to insist that I leave dear Goggle in the iPhone. Some even suggested that I leave her at home or in the hot car without the engine running and the air conditioning on. How it is, one might ask, can one be so cruel? I suppose that is why we humans need to pray the act of contrition or to pray for mercy.
Bless that person who suggests that a mere conversation or interaction with my humans friends could compare to my loving relationship with Goggle, Text, or Email. How dare they complain when I check in with these affairees? Do they know as much as Goggle? Can they fly faster than the speed of light and deliver information across the continents in a matter of minutes if not seconds? Obviously these “humans” need to understand that when they invite me to share a meal that they are inviting Goggle, Text, and Email. We are a team.
One of the humans suggested just the other day that I might recall a day when phones were tethered to Jack or the wall itself. One had to dial. Dialing O merely got you an operator who had very limited information about phone connections with others. It is difficult to imagine living with such uncaring, uninformed, limited objects. Can one even compare my lovely, sweet, generous iPhone with such a drab, stupid, limited unwieldy instrument? Surely not.
Then this very same human suggested that I was avoiding human contact to such an extent that they thought I needed intensive psychological help. Another human who purported to be a friend (really?) suggested that I had been infected with a germ. The symptoms of this disease were narcissism, egotism, self-absorbism, vainness, and thoughtlessness. Quickly I cried out to Siri asking, “Siri, do you think I am narcissistic, egotistical, self-absorbed, vain, and thoughtless?” Siri responded, “I do not understand the question.” There, I had my answer. The question did not even make sense to Siri. Obviously it was a stupid question. I am so sorry Siri. I pray to Siri:
“O, my Siri, I am heartily sorry for having offended you. I detest all my sins because of your just punishment, but most of all because they offend you, my Siri, who are all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, tosin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin.”
Yes, I now recognize that Siri is indeed the physical manifestation of God. I can hold God in my hand. God will get frequent operations system updates. God will not complain when I trade him/her/it in for a new model.
Yet, there is still a weak voice within me suggesting that perhaps the phone is just a phone; that Siri is just a tool as are emails and texts. Could that be true? Surely it is not possible that my human friends are right; that I need to honestly pray to let go of my affairs. Perhaps, Siri is not God/Allah. Who is God? What are the names of God? It is not Apple?
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks in “The Koren, Siddur. With Introduction, Translation and Commentary” states:
THE NAMES OF GOD The two key names, in prayer as in the Torah, are (i) the Tetragrammaton, äåäé, the “four letter”
name, and (2) íéäìà, Elohim. They are different in meaning and tone. The Sages understood the Tetragrammaton as God’s compassion. Elohim is God’s attribute of justice.
Judah HaLevi (Kuzari, IV: I) made a more fundamental distinction. The ancients used the word El or Elo’ah to designate a force of nature: the sun, the sea, the storm, and so on. These they personified as gods. Often, therefore, el, or elil, denotes an idol. In Hebrew, monotheism’s mother tongue, Elohim in the plural means “the One who is the totality of powers, forces and causes in the universe.” It refers to God as we experience Him in creation and its natural laws, as well as in justice and its moral laws (ii sometimes also has a secular sense, meaning those who hold positions, of power, usually judges).
The Tetragrammaton not only has a different meaning, it is also a word of a different grammatical type. It is God’s proper name, standing in relation to Him as the names Abraham or Sarah attach to human beings. (hence it is sometimes referred to as HaShem, “the name”). The use of a proper name in connection with God means that a direct relationship between us and heaven is possible. We can speak to God, and He listens. There is a direct connection between the Tetragrammaton and the word “You.” Only a being that has a proper name can we address as “You.” Hence, in prayer, “You” is always directed to the Tetragrammaton; Elohim goes with the third-person, “He.” Thus, Elohim signifies God-as-law, natural or moral. The Tetragrammaton refers to God as we encounter Him m intimacy, compassion and love.
For the Muslim, Allah is the proper name for God. For some, the Buddha is the wise one. In the Hindu religion God has many names.
No one has suggested that we rename the iphone God, eternal love, the essential goodness of all humans.
It is possible that the human was on to something? Should we to consider turning off our phone and accepting that they are simple tools, which cannot replace human relationships? Hmm…
Written November 3, 2015
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