Viva la anxiety
I see/work for a number of people who can be paralyzed by what they term anxiety and/or panic attacks. I suspect that all of us have experience some level of anxiety before an important academic test, a work presentation which may determine whether we get promoted or fired, or another situation where optimal performance is important. This level of anxiety may keep us alert and wanting to do our best. It is the opposite of arrogant complacency. I was telling a person this morning that I get some anxiety before seeing every client, conducting a workshop or facilitating a group therapy session. I experience this as uncomfortable but I am grateful for the reminder to pay close attention and to do my best to attend to the needs of the person or persons for whom I am working. I do not get paralyzed by this level of anxiety. I invariably show up and do my best. Part of me know that most of the time I am able to perform well. If I am unable to perform well I will take note of what I need to do to be better prepared next time. I may need to do more research, ask trusted colleagues for advice or listen to my body which is telling me to take a break.
Some people show up and do their best but continue to experience a level of anxiety which is acute or even paralyzing. They may even get anxious about the anxiety. In other words they may feed the lies of the anxiety telling themselves they are incompetent and are going to make grave mistakes. They may feel unable to breathe and move. They may have to ask for help. This feeling can be so uncomfortable that they return to the relative safely of their home and, if possible, restrict themselves to a limited space in which they feel safe most of the time.
If one has an independent income, is on disability or has a partner who earns enough to pay the bills one my then allow the anxiety or the fear of the anxiety to keep them in a limited space for the many years or even a lifetime.
Acute anxiety may, for some, begins is childhood because one lives with parents or other guardian who are not well enough to provide a positive, stable home. Parents/guardians might, for example have addiction issues or other mental illness. One never knows what to expect and thus one learns to be on constant high alert or in a constant state of anxiety. The ill parents or guardians may blame their illness and resultant behavior on the child(ren). They may directly or indirectly tell the child they are incompetent, worthless, no good and that no one can ever depend on them or even love them. It is possible to internalize these lies and to become very fearful of doing anything. Some who grow up in this sort of negative environment grow up to be very competent adults. Some, even as adults living in a safe, predictable home, are extremely anxious and always waiting to mess up or for the other shoe to drop.
It takes a lot of practice to override the lies one learned about oneself and the world. Sometimes some mild medication can help take the edge off the anxiety making it easier to function and to correct the lies. Some well-meaning doctor may prescribe mediation as the sole treatment and which only temporarily treats the symptoms. Depending on the medication one may built up a tolerance and have to keep increasing the dose resulting in negative side effects.
The good news is that we can retrain our brain. Even many of those who have survived combat and have acute symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder can heal. Trauma still leaves scars which can be disturbed at times but most people can learn to function and live a relatively healthy and full life. Depending on the trauma and the frequency of the trauma(s) approaches such as rapid eye movement therapy may also provide significant relief.
When anxiety arrives for a visit one must decide if it is telling one a lie or corresponds to a realistic shared reality. If all evidence is that there is not a current danger one can relax and take the next step. If there is a current danger than one can design and execute a plan to deal with that danger. Anxiety itself it not the issue. The issue is now defined by one’s relationship with the anxiety and the lies or truths it proclaims.
Written January 31, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
I see/work for a number of people who can be paralyzed by what they term anxiety and/or panic attacks. I suspect that all of us have experience some level of anxiety before an important academic test, a work presentation which may determine whether we get promoted or fired, or another situation where optimal performance is important. This level of anxiety may keep us alert and wanting to do our best. It is the opposite of arrogant complacency. I was telling a person this morning that I get some anxiety before seeing every client, conducting a workshop or facilitating a group therapy session. I experience this as uncomfortable but I am grateful for the reminder to pay close attention and to do my best to attend to the needs of the person or persons for whom I am working. I do not get paralyzed by this level of anxiety. I invariably show up and do my best. Part of me know that most of the time I am able to perform well. If I am unable to perform well I will take note of what I need to do to be better prepared next time. I may need to do more research, ask trusted colleagues for advice or listen to my body which is telling me to take a break.
Some people show up and do their best but continue to experience a level of anxiety which is acute or even paralyzing. They may even get anxious about the anxiety. In other words they may feed the lies of the anxiety telling themselves they are incompetent and are going to make grave mistakes. They may feel unable to breathe and move. They may have to ask for help. This feeling can be so uncomfortable that they return to the relative safely of their home and, if possible, restrict themselves to a limited space in which they feel safe most of the time.
If one has an independent income, is on disability or has a partner who earns enough to pay the bills one my then allow the anxiety or the fear of the anxiety to keep them in a limited space for the many years or even a lifetime.
Acute anxiety may, for some, begins is childhood because one lives with parents or other guardian who are not well enough to provide a positive, stable home. Parents/guardians might, for example have addiction issues or other mental illness. One never knows what to expect and thus one learns to be on constant high alert or in a constant state of anxiety. The ill parents or guardians may blame their illness and resultant behavior on the child(ren). They may directly or indirectly tell the child they are incompetent, worthless, no good and that no one can ever depend on them or even love them. It is possible to internalize these lies and to become very fearful of doing anything. Some who grow up in this sort of negative environment grow up to be very competent adults. Some, even as adults living in a safe, predictable home, are extremely anxious and always waiting to mess up or for the other shoe to drop.
It takes a lot of practice to override the lies one learned about oneself and the world. Sometimes some mild medication can help take the edge off the anxiety making it easier to function and to correct the lies. Some well-meaning doctor may prescribe mediation as the sole treatment and which only temporarily treats the symptoms. Depending on the medication one may built up a tolerance and have to keep increasing the dose resulting in negative side effects.
The good news is that we can retrain our brain. Even many of those who have survived combat and have acute symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder can heal. Trauma still leaves scars which can be disturbed at times but most people can learn to function and live a relatively healthy and full life. Depending on the trauma and the frequency of the trauma(s) approaches such as rapid eye movement therapy may also provide significant relief.
When anxiety arrives for a visit one must decide if it is telling one a lie or corresponds to a realistic shared reality. If all evidence is that there is not a current danger one can relax and take the next step. If there is a current danger than one can design and execute a plan to deal with that danger. Anxiety itself it not the issue. The issue is now defined by one’s relationship with the anxiety and the lies or truths it proclaims.
Written January 31, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
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