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Sunday Musings - November 10.2024

11/10/2024

Sunday Musings - November 10, 2024
This past Week was the presidential election in the United States. Both major parties seemed to invoke the chicken little syndrome if the other party won. Sadly , post election, chicken little is still being invoked. There is no joy in Mudville; at least by the Losing party. Even the winning patty continues to feed the chicken little lies and half truths
There is no joy in Mudville" is a line from the poem Casey at the Bat by Ernest Lawrence Thayer. It describes the disappointment of the hometown crowd in Mudville when their hero, Casey, strikes out and loses the game. The phrase is often used to express general disappointment, such as "My father has just lost his job; there's no joy in Mudville tonight".

Obviously there are valid concerns about many issues including immigration, the economy, climate change, the role of the United States as part of NATO, the middle East, co-existence with China, Russian expansion to name just a few. We must each do our part to speak for those who have no voice or whose voice is ignored. At the same time, it is important we not become those who arrogantly oppress in response to perceived oppression, It is important we avoid self righteous judgement of those whose answers or response is different than ours. Historically we humans tend to react to extreme political views with other extreme views. In the end we return to a more central place. Perhaps in the process we move closer to a more enlightened place; a place where we honor the sacredness of the reality that we are all one village and must treat each other as family.

Nothing can stop us today from acknowledging that reality. If we do not label each other as enemies; if we do not allow ourselves to fall into the chicken little trap we will claim our power to be our best selves; claim the joy of loving and taking care of a each other; avoid the polyanna trap while we hold joy in one hand and, a different reality in the other. There is a practical logic in the teaching of Jesus and others to ‘love one’s enemies” which makes them non-enemies. If one has no enemies one cannot hate; one can only love and accept the reality that we are all perfect in or imperfectness. Today we can strive to be out best selves; to notice the log in own eyes; to remember this life journey is but a second; nothing matters except how well we Love ourselves, each other and the universe today.

Written November 10, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - November 3, 2024

11/3/2024

Sunday Musings - November 3, 2024

Nothing works

As a professional counselor I am constantly reminding individuals, couples and families that systems are systems are systems.   We seem to readily accept the fact that even if 99% of the many parts of a car are working, one malfunctioning part, an empty gas tank or some part of the automobile’s computer will keep the car from functioning or, at best, make it inefficient.

Our human body is a system existing within an environment. This environment can be the limited area of our office, home or other place. It is also the place in the universe one now occupies, the planet earth or the larger earth.

Any part of our body or the environment can affect how well our body functions. Symptoms of a malfunctioning body may include:

         A physical ache or pain.
         Unable to physically function in some way.
         Fatigue
         Recall or retrieval speed.
         Memory deficit
         anger/frustration
         Depression
         anxiety
         reduction in hearing or eyesight
         some other malfunction affecting some organ.

All of us will eventually wear out, but our bodies require at the minimum:
         Adequate and restful sleep
         Nutritious food eaten in a relaxed setting
         Regular physical exercise
         Belief that one has a purpose
         Positive, loving support
         A heathy environment.
         healing from past traumas
         Care of special needs of our body
         An ability and willingness to hold on to joy.

Any deficit will affect the function of all parts of our system.   We should not be surprised if we are sleep deprived and all parts of our body are affected, including our ability to problem solve.   To problem solve we must be able to retrieve information stored in our brain.   We also must process a certain level of processing speed to function.   If we cannot process incoming stimuli, we are likely to become overwhelmed, frustrated and angry. Lack of ability to process incoming stimuli may leave us feeling unsafe and unable to place ourselves in time and space.

Exposure to frequent or constant negative input such as watching political news 24/7 or several hours a day; living in a war area such, or in a domestically physical and emotional violent home can quickly exhaust one and affect every part of one’s system.

If your doctor, therapist or other caretaker is not treating one holistically one needs to seek out other care. Symptoms may point to a direction to investigate but just treating the symptoms does not identify or treat the cause. If the oil pan or gas tank has a leak, more gas or oil will not treat the leak.

Written November 3, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org

Sunday Musiings - October 27, 2024

10/27/2024

Sunday musings - October 27, 2024

Anyone in the helping professions - clergy, teacher, health care professional, parent - must be willing to frequently ask themselves two questions:

Do I practice what I teach?

         Am I willing to be the student as well as the teacher

In other words, to what extent am I committed to reach toward humility?

One can find many suggestions regarding the nature of humility, but most will agree the characteristics must include an awareness of one’s strengths and limitations; a willingness to learn; an appreciation for one’s privileges, opportunities and luxuries; and a willingness to receive as well as to give.

I would like to believe that I daily ask myself these questions.   Usually, I frame the questions in the context of my daily spiritual Intentions. I am acutely aware it is easy for me to get off tract - to be distracted by issues which might seem to be very important now but are not ultimately so.

Most people who know me are aware I am usually self-sufficient in terms of daily activities/daily self-care. I work full time, daily go to the gym, maintain my home, prepare healthy meals and stay socially active.   I am in many respects a very privileged white male with access to a decent living, to health care and able to hold on to the illusion I have an endless supply of energy.

For the past three months, some health issuers have forced me to more actively practice humility.   Don’t misunderstand me. I am no Pollyanna. I did not welcome illness joyfully as an opportunity to grow spiritually even though I know it is just that. Because of the nature of my work and life dance many were quickly aware of my health issues. Many friends and clients were quick to remind me we are a village. Others have many gifts to share and are happy to do so; reminding me all of us need to trust all our gifts are equally valuable. It is in sharing gifts that we honor our shared humanness and journey.   Of course, I would like to report that I found it natural and easy to ask for and accept offers of rides, grocery shopping, laundry and food. Not so. I continue to be a work in progress attempting to live humility with enormous gratitude.   I vow to work on accepting help graciously and with a modicum of expressed thank. Perhaps 20 per event is a bit over the top!

Today is another opportunity to honor the fact that worldwide we are a village. We would do well to daily celebrate that reality.

Written October 27, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - October 13, 2024

10/12/2024

Sunday Musings - October 13, 2024

In the United States and some other countries, the terms juvenile, minor and adult are frequently legal terms. The question of whether one is a juvenile, minor or adult often comes under consideration when sex, school attendance and criminal activity is involved.

Age of consent for sexual activity may be based solely on age or may be based on age and difference in age. Thus, in some states and countries the law may state that individuals of a certain age may only consent to sex with someone who is no more than three years their senior. The age of consent in some countries and states may be 14 or lower. There have been cultures in which children are treated as autonomous individuals and can decide themselves when they are old enough to have sexual activity or engage in other activities. Many children are “sexually active” with themselves or in sexual “play” with their peers at a very early age.

In the United States even viewing individual appearing underage having sexual activity with an alleged adult can be the basis for being criminally charged, sent to prison and put on a public sexual offender list. (Determination of age is usually made by law enforcement personnel or so-called experts which is very problematic since there are many reasons a “legal” adult can appear to be a teenager.)

In some so-called primitive cultures, it was the responsibility of adult males to introduce young males to sexual activity by having sex with them. There is no record of these males being mistreated or emotionally harmed.   If a practice is ritualized by a community, there is no basis for shame.

In many states in the United States, one is legally required to attend school or be home schooled until a certain age; frequently age 16 although some children complete requirements for graduation from high school at an earlier age.

In some states one can apply to become emancipated and for all practical purposes be considered an adult at age 16. If that emancipated 16-year-old is then legally married he or she may have sex with their spouse. However, if not married they may still be considered a minor in terms of sexual activity until they reach the legal age of consent in the state in which they are living. This normally also means an emancipated 16-year-old cannot legally be employed in the porn industry.

The terms minor and juvenile in criminal cases may vary when a minor child is charged with a crime which law enforcement personnel or the public finds particularly offensive. For example, in some states, if a 10-year-old is charged with murder or certain other “serious” crimes he or she may be bound over to adult court. The sentence may not include the death sentence but may include long periods or even life in prison. Recently, in the United States, a 14-year-old charged with murder in a mass shooting incident is to be tried as an adult. Apparently, the thinking is that a person as young as 10 may be capable of being legally competent to decide to engage in criminal activity but is not old enough to decide to have sexual activity with an adult. The thinking is sometimes the power difference is the deciding factor in decisions regarding sexual activity, but not in decision regarding violent or other criminal activity.

One might argue when a country or state regularly uses violence to deal with situations of which they do not approve or deems should be illegal whether that is against other counties, persons, or entities the young person is being taught that he or she is expected to use violence when they are unhappy with the behavior of others. In war the killings of children and adults regardless of their status is often considered “collateral damage.”

We do not make laws limiting the ability of those with intellectual disabilities or emotional disabilities to have children although Hitler copied the thinking of some in the United States when he decided to sterilize those with intellectual or emotional disabilities. We do have laws disallowing the ability to use those with intellectual or emotional disabilities for our sexual gratification without considering their rights and needs.

In short, our laws reflect the fact that sometimes we, as a society, determine age alone determines the ability to make informed choices and sometimes we decide age alone is not the sole criteria we should use,

I suspect most of us agree that forced sexual activity rape - at any age is immoral.   Rape can occu by a person of various ages.   Rarely does anyone in authority state that a 5-year-old can rape a younger child although there have been such allegations. Some might maintain that the 5-year-old did not realize what they were doing; that they are incapable at 5 years old of being aware that the younger child has rights which need to be respected.

In summary I am suggesting:

o   The line between adulthood and minor or child is a very narrow one.
o   We adult are emotionally, financially and legally unwilling to take responsibility for the arbitrary nature of our decisions regarding the use of violence, the control of the manufacture of weapons, and the extent to which many laws are based on emotions and limited religious beliefs and not science.

o   The use of another person’s body solely for one’s own gratification is wrong, wrong, wrong. At the same time the age and mental capacity of awareness of the needs and rights of other humans is often decided arbitrarily and for the temporary comfort of the community.

o   Children are sexual from a very early age. The age of puberty and the ability to procreate varies greatly with individuals. Children need to be clearly taught how their behavior affects others, the danger of early pregnancy and the danger of sexually transmitted diseases.

o   We adults need to take responsibility for the behavior we model and the often-arbitrary emotional factors which determines our decisions about whether someone is to be considered an adult or a minor.

Written October 13, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - October 6, 2024

10/5/2024

Sunday Musings - October 6, 2024
Who or what is a parent?

So many of our laws in the United States and some other countries are grounded in the concept of the nuclear family. The nuclear family is one or two adults and one or more children. In some families there may be multiple generations who assume responsible for the unit, but that is the exception rather than the rule. Increasingly, in the United States, adult children may be living longer with their “parents”, but eventually most will get a home of their own.

If there are minor children or even adult children in the home, the “parents” are in charge and decide what is best for the family. To qualify to be a parent one must:

o   Be the biological egg donor or sperm donor.
o   Be the person a judge decides can be the legal primary custodian or “adoptive parent”.
o   Be a foster parent appointed by a child welfare official. In this case depending on caseload of the case worker and other factors, the child or children rights and needs may be decided by rules of the state or the caseworker.
o   Be a ward of the state, often in a group home, a detention facility or mental health facility
o   Be a student in a private boarding school in which case the rights and needs of the student(s) may be jointly decided by the legal parent(s) and the school administration.

To quality to be a biological parent a female must have an egg which is fertilized by a male sperm. This may be in person in which case the sperm is introduced to the egg during sexual intercourse, or the egg and sperm are introduced by a medical person.   To qualify as a stepparent a biological parent must agree to marry another person. A biological, step or appointed parent may be a single person or, depending on the state, two parents who may be of the same or opposite gender.

When a child is conceived and born to a biological egg donor and sperm donor, there is no test for whether one is emotionally, spiritually or financially able to provide for the child(ren) or keep the needs and rights of the child(ren) primary.   Unless it can be proven there is extreme cruelty or neglect (varies by state) the custodial parent(s) have absolute authority over the lives of the children. They can decide whether to get them vaccinated, when to take them for medical care, whether to honor their gender or sexual orientation status, whether to home school or enroll in another option, how to indoctrinate them spiritually, and make other decisions which affect the health and future of the child Essentially, if no legally defined abuse can be identified or proven, the child has no rights. The parents determine when the child or children are ready for developmental stages or chapters in their lives.

Medical professionals have very little authority to decide the care of a child unless the parent(s) sign over that authority. The medical professional does not decide (based on science and not personal prejudice) whether a child should be protected against certain communicable diseases, i.e. covid, measles, whooping cough, polio, diphtheria and a host of others or has other needs. Although public school systems may require some vaccinations the parent can decide to home school the child.

There are a few so called primitive cultures where children are given more decision-making power. There are also some communities which believe parenting is truly a village responsibility. There are some church “families” which it is clearly understood babies and older children are “church babies”.

The rights of parents whose only qualification for raising the next generation may be the ability to exchange a sperm and egg through sexual contact or other means is popular politically.   “Parents know best” is the shared belief of many in the United States and other places. That is a position based on emotions; not grounded in science. Some legal “parents” have amazing skills, good emotional and spiritual health and the means to take care of children. Some financially poor people can provide the “best” care for their children.

Re-examining this model for choosing who is best qualified to raise/teach/care for younger humans could be a very frightening and politically charged exercise. One is not likely to get elected or appointed to a political position if one suggests this re-examination be a major goal for this republic.   Yet, I believe we must begin to get honest about why the current system is unhealthy for many children. For everyone, even those who meet all the qualifications for healthy parents, isolating them without help in a nuclear family is a concept we must let go of. Even if there are two reasonably healthy adults raiding children who have demanding jobs in addition to being parents, there is not enough emotional, physical, and spiritual gas stations in an average day to do a good job.   One cannot avoid a daily energy deficit affecting all aspects of one’s health and, thus, the health of the children.

Let’s begin to have the courage to explore a model of parenting which might ensure children have a chance at emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual health. Let’s end the shame of parenting not being our skill set.   We need a variety of skills to design and create a functioning community to raise our children.

Written October 6, 2023
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - September 29, 2024

9/29/2024

Sunday Musings - September 29, 2024
Housecleaning.

Housecleaning is the name of a poem by the United States poet Nikki Giovanni. She begins the poem by stating, “I always enjoyed house cleaning.   She ends it with “And I find it must remove you from my life.”   One can easily google this poem.

I recently thought of this poem when I was sharing my spiritual intention for the day. My intention was, “Clean out the garbage stored in my brain; the lies; the resentments; the judgements of others; the limits I place on myself and other harmful and non- essential data.”

When we think of spiritual cleanliness we may not always consider what is stored in our brain; the source of what is stored in our brain; the fact checking we did or did not do before storing information; the fear which accompanied what is stored in our brain; the “what ifs”; the judgement of others; the shields we have put to avoid uncomfortable truths about ourselves and the world; or the toxic waste of substances we have put in our bodies such as excessive alcohol, caffeine, and processed food.

The information we have stored in our brain and the toxic waste from unhealthy eating and drinking habits, the lack of exercise, the amount of emotional support determines the minute-by-minute decisions I make about how to live this brief life journey.   The brain, after all, is the command center of this journey.   If we hold on to toxic material which affect the mechanisms of my brain, we can daily articulate well-meaning spiritual intentions, but they will not become manifest reality. For example:

o   We may be holding on to lies about our self-worth based on the mistreatment of someone in the distant or recent past. We may have internalized the lie that something was wrong with us; we somehow caused the abuse. We have decided based on some well-meaning professional that we are damaged for life. There is nothing wrong with us. We are not damaged for life although we may have scars.

o   We may be holding on to the false belief that all people are untrustworthy which is not true. Most are trustworthy.

o   We may be holding on to other false information which we have not sufficiently fact checked.

o   We may be storing judgment of others thinking that we are perfect, and others are flawed. Obviously, we are all imperfect.

o   We may believe that our religious framework is the only right one and all others are wrong; all others are based on false prophets.

o   We may have labeled others as unworthy based on their religion, culture, immigration status, race, gender, sexual orientation or some other difference without knowing them or their circumstances.

o   We may be holding on to an “all or nothing” way of thinking about other people, places or events.

o   We may be allowing fear of other possible truths to keep us from growing/learning.

o   We may need someone to be perfect - a potential mate, a spouse, a parent, or a politician and not allow them to be the imperfect. human they are.

In this day of many means of collecting and storing information we may need to do a lot of fact checking before we decide what to believe or who to trust. We do not want to mistrust all information or people.

Most of us are capable of fact checking the information in our brains or the information we may be considering storing in our brains. Sadly, often we look only for information which reinforces the misinformation already stored in our brains.

Lies, misinformation, generalized fears, shame and a host of other beliefs or emotions can prevent us from spiritually being our best self. We need to daily continue the process of cleaning our brains. We also need to avoid people, places and things which may want to store unhealthy lies or misinformation in our brain. This does not entail mistreating or judging others.   It may be enough to know that we are not able to stay healthy if there is not some protective barrier between us and some other people, places and things. I can certainly pray for those who might cause me harm without judging them.   We may or may not know what factors such as addiction, other mental illness, or medical issues are affecting behavioral decisions of others

As is true for Nikki Giovanni, I enjoy house cleaning or at least I enjoy the results of house cleaning. I may find it temporarily inconvenient or even uncomfortable, but I seem to be at my best when my home and my brain are less cluttered with real or metaphorical dirt.

Jimmy F Pickett
Written September 29, 2024
Coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - September 21, 2024

9/21/2024

Sunday Musings — September 22, 2024
Love is inconvenient

Many of the major religions including Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Baha’i, Hinduism, Islam, Jainism, Sikhism, and Unitarian Universalists, among others, profess to teach that one should love one’s neighbor. Yet, many, including some high-level politicians, religions clerics, teachers and others seem to make huge exceptions or rather redefine who is one’s neighbor, thus allowing them to demonize, kill and otherwise mistreat those who appear to be their neighbor.

In the United States a recent example of ‘non-neighbor neighbor” has to do with those labeled as immigrants. For the most part those labeled as immigrants to the United States prove to be those fleeing physical, emotional, religious and financial violence. Every study confirms that fewer immigrants commit offenses against their new neighbors than those who are citizens of the United States. Yet many continue to demonize these “neighbors and threaten to forcibly send them back to violence and, in many cases, certain death.

The citizens of Springfield, Ohio have welcomed many from Haiti whose country continues to experience enormous poverty, political upheaval and violence. Most of those from Haiti in Springfield are proven to be there legally and are hardworking, good neighbors. The mayor and other officials of Springfield have repeatedly confirmed that the Haitian neighbors are welcome. They have also repeatedly admitted that welcoming so many new neighbors at one time has strained their housing, educational, human services and other resources. In short it has been very inconvenient to have so many new neighbors at once. Yet most of Springfield welcomes them.

Most of us have experience with the reality that loving each other - loving one’s neighbors whether they are biological family, in laws, the spouses/partners of our children, our grandchildren or our physical neighbors - is often inconvenient. They may need our emotional or other support when we are, ourselves, exhausted; when our budget is stained or even when we are not feeling very warm and fuzzy towards other humans in general. We may receive a call in the middle of the night informing us our neighbor’s house is on fire, flooded or otherwise not livable. They may need to stay at our home for an indefinite time. If we are parents, it is not convenient when our children are sick in the middle of the night, and we go without adequate sleep for several nights. My friend’s sister-in-law died leaving a 12-year-old who needed to be cared for in his own home. She reigned her job and lived separately from her husband until her nephew was ready to be on his own. Many of we parents have children who are living with active addiction or other mental illness. Loving them results in emotional and financial stress which may be very inconvenient.

There are many examples of love being inconvenient. It is interesting to me that in none of the religious teachings which command one to love one’s neighbors do I find exceptions. Sadly, religious teachers and their followers often are creative in replacing the term neighbor with such terms as “evil”, criminal, immigrant, a different political party, or some other non-neighbor label thus exempting they and their followers from this teaching to love one’s neighbors.

If we only love when it is convenient is it love or self-interest?

Those of us who are parents, educators, religious teachers or otherwise in the role of mentors may decide to take a moment to see if we are willing to love our neighbor (spouse, partner, children, person from another culture, or country) even when it is inconvenient or whether we want to continue the ruse of assigning new labels to our neighbors pretending as if that transforms them in the eyes of the God of our understanding to a non-neighbor.

Written September 22, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - September 15,2024

9/15/2024

Sunday Musings – September 15, 2024

As individuals, families, groups and even countries it seems we often use the term victim without considering the historical context in which events occurred.

There are, of course, instances when someone is a random victim. One may just happen to be in the right place at the right time putting them in the path of a driver who runs a red light or in a school or shopping center where someone opens fire with an assault type weapon. One might be hiking and suddenly find oneself in the path of an avalanche. Some of us have found ourselves in the path of a tornado with little or no advance warning. Many civilians often find themselves victims of a war which was initiated by individuals or a government they did not endorse or support.

On closer examination we may often discover decisions we had previously made were links in a chain of events leading up to the event of which we felt like a “victim”.

This past week in the United States many gathered on the 11th of September to remember and honor those who died on September 11, 2001 in the attacks in New York cities, the Pentagon and on the plane which was downed in Pennsylvania. On the surface all who died were innocent victims. Perhaps none of those who died had participated in foreign policy or political decisions which helped to fuel the violent thinking of the terrorists. Perhaps none had helped to spread anti- Muslim or other prejudicial or oppressive attitudes or policies. Perhaps many had spoken up against such attitudes or policies. Perhaps few or none had participated in religious gatherings which claimed all gods except theirs was or is the false god. Perhaps some had actively participated in organizations which embrace a diversity of gods and religious beliefs. Some might have been actively working to end all emotional, financial, spiritual and self-serving violence.

On the other hand, perhaps many had not taken the time or had the courage to speak up against discriminatory or oppressive acts and words.

Martin Niemoeller, the German theologian who was arrested by the Gestapo and sent to Dachau in 1938 before being freed by the Allies 7 years later, is reported to have said:

“In Germany the Nazis first came for the Communists and I didn’t speak up because I was not a communist. Then they came for the Jews and I didn’t speak up because i was wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me and, by that time there was no one left to speak for me.”

Vera Brittain in her three volume Testament of Youth details some of the events leading up to the indescribable horror of the deaths inflicted by Hitler and many other German citizens. She realized that terrible events such as these did not happen just because of the unresolved mental and emotional issues of one human; one human who was able to enlist the partnership of working men and woman and professionals including physicians, psychologists and many other health care profesionals. Jay Lifton explored this phenomenon in the book, The Nazi Doctors; a exploration of how physicians and other health care professionals agreed to act as if hideously cruel behavior was consistent with their professional oaths. Both of these authors, as well as others, have attempted to put Nazi atrocities in historical contexts; a historical context which includes how the Allies treated the Germans following World War I; a historical context which included the spreading of anti-Jewish sentiments by notables United States figures such as Henry Ford; a history which included the adoption of the myths of a chosen people; myths that mentally challenged people contributed nothing to the community; the myths that same sex relationships were evil and against the will of the God of one’s understanding; the myth that once identified as a law breaker - a criminal – who got caught – one could never contribute anything to the body politic; the myth many other people who did not fit the prescribed norm as defined by such people as Hitler and his followers needed to be killed as if they were weeds which might kill off the crops if not destroyed.

Whether one is examining the actions of a Hitler, Putin, Hamas, the perpetrators of 9/11, the gun violence adovates, mass shootings in the United States, racism, anti-Jewish sentiment, anti-Muslim sentiment or some of the amazing positive creations of we humans, all of humanity would benefit from the historical context out of which events are conceived and birthed.

Historically, in the United States we have excluded many facts in our history books; facts about racism, gender, sexuality, foreign policy and other important segments of our history. Until recently there was little acknowledgement of institutional racism and sexism; little mention of such events as the total legal destruction of the thriving Black Wall Street in Tulsa, Oklahoma, of the broken treaties with indigenous tribes, or the role of organized religion in creating the glass ceiling. In recent years many states have passed laws legalizing the return to redacting larges segments of racial history and the reality of gender identity and sexism. If this pattern continues, we are doomed to being participants in the destruction of the Republic of the United States and perpetuation of the myth that we are not playing an active role in the planning of the demise of not only the United States, but the destruction of the sustainability of the planet.

If we continue to label individuals, groups, families and nations as victims without considering the historical context we will wring our hands and cry our way to obliteration.

Written September 15, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - September 8, 2024

9/7/2024

Sunday Musings - September 8, 2024

Throw away people

It was with great sadness I read of another school shooting, another overdose death, another domestic violence incident, another incident of sexual abuse of young children, more war killings, another armed robbery, and of the many other ways we humans continue to treat each other as less than; of the inability of some to consider the rights and needs of their neighbors.

I clearly understand the sadness, grief, anger and overall frustration of those who are victims of violent or other hurtful acts.   I can only imagine the grief of family members, friends and colleague of those who are victims of fatal violent acts.

At the same time, I do not understand why, given our increased knowledge of some of the factors which affect the neurological functioning of the human brain, we continue to believe that punishment of those who are unable to consider the right and needs of each other is going to result in a more loving and just society.

It is no secret our jails and prison system are created for punishment. Despite a few rehabilitation programs within the prison system, anyone who has worked or lived in such a system knows the system is designed to destroy those who are sentenced to them. There are those who do manage to use the time in prison to reflect on their behavior and design a new, path for themselves. There are employees of judicial system and the prisons who treat the inmates with love and respect.    My ex-wife, several of my colleagues, and others I know and admire have and do work within the prison system and treat the inmates with love and respect.   Sadly, this is the exception, rather than the rule.

Often, from the time a person whose arrest and charge are reported in local news outlet it seems as if the decision has been made to treat them as a non- person, as a throw away person. Seldom, when I read or listen to a news report, do I sense an awareness that the accused is deserving of love and support; that the accused is the son or daughter, the aunt or uncle, the mother, dad, or neighbor who is deserving of love and support. Seldom do I read or hear of the fact that this person has been “unable” to consider the rights and needs of others.

We live in a culture in which it is considered normal and moral to use emotional, judicial, and military violence in response to violence or other behavior we deem unacceptable. We label others as enemies and deserving of our judgement. Even though we make efforts to resolve some “situations” diplomatically, often, as is the case with Israel, Ukraine and other countries, we supply many lethal weapons. Violence and threats of violence often seems to be our go to approach.

If a private citizen decides he or she has a right to use violence we either applaud the action as self-defense or vilify the person as deserving of punishment. Thus, the 14-year-old school shooter, Colt Gray, is being charged as an adult with murder. So is his father, Colin Gray, who allowed his son to have weapons despite apparent mental health issues. A 19-year-old young man, Robert Thompson, is sentenced to 19 years in prison for a robbery shooting incident in the parking lot of local restaurants. I have no idea how many years Robert might serve; perhaps less with time off for good behavior; perhaps more for behavior while in prison attempting to survive.

I could list many other examples of throw away people I read about in the local newspapers or hear about on local, national or international news reports.

Many of those throw away people will return again and again to prison. Our recidivism rate in the United States is somewhere between 45 and 82 percent depending on which source one believes. It is one of the highest in the world. Clearly the system is not “rehabilitating” despite some classes, other program, and some very dedicated teachers, counselors, physicians and guards.   The system is designed to dehumanize the inmates and the staff.

Punishment does not work for those who are mentally ill or for those who for other reason are UNABLE to consider the right and needs of others. It does not work for anyone.

Regardless of one’s religious beliefs one can appreciate the teaching of Jesus, the Buddha and many others who challenge us to love our enemies (making them non-enemies), focusing on removing the log in our own eye rather than the spec in the eye of our neighbor, nurturing others and ourselves, accepting the complicated nature of our thought process; accepting there are no throw away humans,

The person who is reading this and disagrees is not a throw away human. The person who is reading this and agrees is not a throw away human. Neither Colt Gray, as terrible as his action was, nor his father are throw away humans. The persons with an addiction to alcohol, other drugs, food, gambling, power, sex, or even sexual activity with a young child are not throw away humans.    That are those who are dangerous and need to be in a secure facility receiving professional and loving treatment.

Those of us who follow research know negative treatment does not create positive outcomes. Treating others as throw away people does not result in healthy, contributing community members.

Written September 8, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - September 1, 2024

8/31/2024

Sunday Musings - September 1, 2024

If we are human, we have hurt others; sometimes in a reactionary way to a real or perceived danger; sometimes planned. When a hurtful action appears planned it would seem as if the person had a choice.

Justice systems in most countries, including the United States, are based on the belief that one has chosen to injure another physically, sexually, emotionally or financially.   Most, if not all, religions are based on the belief that the God who is the head of a particular religion rewards or punishes believers on the basis of their choices. There may be differences in the beliefs in what behavior is offensive to a God, but the basic model of justice is the same.

We imprison a great many people in the United States because we believe they made a choice to engage in behavior which was hurtful or unjust to another person, community or some other part of the world.

In the United States we are extremely adept in holding two competing beliefs.   We believe that mental illness is real and believe all people make choice. Thus, a great many people with a diagnosed mental illness, including addiction, are in prison. Although there are some loving medical professionals serving some prisoners, the basic goal of prison is to punish individuals for making bad choices.

What if, however, the development and function of the brain is much more complicated? What if mental illness is real. “Mental” implies that the brain is involved. If the brain is involved than the ability to make decisions is affected. Actually, as I have previously suggested, the distinction between mental and physical is inaccurate.   It is all physical. A great many parts of the brain have to function in a certain manner in order for a person to make a decision to act. If any of those parts are impaired or do not communicate well with other parts than one may be unable to access moral or ethical core values; to make a decision in line with those values.

All of us, I am sure, have found that we are more prone to react rather than act when we are tired or not feeling well. To react is to rely on instincts which generally mean fight or flight.   We may also find we react rather than act when a past trauma is triggered.

We have undoubtedly noticed the brain for some of us is able to remember certain situations and call up a previous response which we then label as a habit    One might talk about habits which are one’s muscle memory.   Thus, in combat, when flying an airplane or engaging in any repeated behavior one may not “think” but do what one has trained oneself to do. One may have noticed that sometimes one “finds” oneself performing an act one had not intended.   For example, if one drives daily or often to a specific location one might intend to drive someplace else and suddenly find oneself at the frequent location.

Sections of the brain which allow one to evaluate a situation and make a decision based on one’s core values are not developed in a young child.   The child also has not internalized core values. The young child reacts with no ability to consider the rights and needs of others.   Authors such as Gabor Mote in his book The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture suggest that when a child experiences trauma before those parts of the brain are developed it may reduce or hinder the development of brain circuits which allow one the flexibility to make decisions or make choices. We also know genetics, birth defects, nutrition and other factors affect the development of the brain.   Scientists are researching how a range of other factors may affect the development of the brain and other functions of the body. Screen time, environmental factors, food dyes, war and many others are being examined.

Some such as Gabor Mote and Resmaa Menakem (My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathways to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies) suggest specific exercises or techniques which one can use to diminish the affect of trauma; even multigenerational trauma. We know the human body may, at times, be capable of healing. Some early damage may not be repairable.   One thinks of the many young children living in war torn countries or regions and who have little or no access to food, water or other necessities.   How permanent is their damage? Many of we health care professional are also familiar with acute mental illness which may be treated, but which leave one vulnerable or restricts one’s functioning one’s entire life. There are, of course, the exceptions. Some children survive acute trauma and, yet, become highly competent judges, doctors, scientists and other professionals.

The bottom line is that although we know a lot more about “mental” illness and healing from trauma and deprivation, there is much left to learn. We do know that “choice” is not simple or possible for many individuals. The human brain is dependent on many factors in order to be able to “decide” to act rather than act. Assuming that everyone is equally able to make a choice to act in a way which considers the needs of others as well as mother earth is profitable for some religious leaders and for industries such as the jail/prison industrial complex. Such assumptions also make good sound bites for politicians. They are not consistent with what we know about how the human brain functions. Perhaps, if some of us have brain circuitry which have developed to be able to make choices, we can choose to be guided by science, common sense and yes, “love” of others which it turns out is also love of self.

Written September 1, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org