The goal of naming the sexual abuser?
Truth will prevail or so it seems in the area of sexual abuse/harassment. Daily, or more often, someone is publicly outed as a person who has:
• Physically forced someone to have some level of sexual contact – kissing, genital contact, or other unwanted contact, which was experienced, as sexual.
• Used a position of authority/power to attempt to force someone to have some level of sexual contact/activity with one.
• Otherwise treated someone as a sexual object in a work or personal setting.
• Touched someone in a way, which was experienced but not intended on a conscious level as sexual.
• Talked about or joked about someone as if they were a sexual object.
• Refrained from speaking up when someone else was talking about someone as a sexual object.
• Strongly encouraged someone to drink or use other drugs in hopes of them accepting sexual advances.
• Using drugs such as date rape drugs to take advantage of someone sexually – to sexually assault one.
• Not respected no at a stage of sexual play.
• Used flirting in the workplace to achieve some work related goal.
• Deliberately dressed in away to provoke sexual notice without wanting or expecting any sexual activity. (This is not intended to imply that the victim is ever responsible for sexual abuse.)
If one is very honest with oneself, have you, the reader; have been guilty of any of these behaviors? Can one safely or accurately assume that a significant percentage of us have been guilty of one of these behaviors on at least one and perhaps several occasions? I suspect that is the case. Do all of us need to own our past behavior and begin discussions about how to address and change behavior, which is experienced as sexual abuse or harassment? Should all of us who own our behavior be punished in a court of law, lose our job, pay for damages or suffer some other penalty?
What is the goal of naming and punishing the offending person? Is our goal to?
• Show how widespread the problem is and identify what we need to do as a community to change future behavior?
• To punish or educate the abusers.
• To clearly identify the abusers and the victims?
• To identify how much education we need to do to help young people learn how to manage sexual feelings and verbal as well as non-verbal sexual communication?
• To help the victims of sexual abuse heals?
• To compensate those who lost a promotion or job because of not giving in to sexual advances?
• To identify educational goals regarding the use of alcohol and other recreational drugs?
• To pretend as if males are the only ones guilty of sexual abuse/harassment?
• To pretend as if all abuse or harassment is by heterosexuals?
I am sure that this is not an exhaustive list of possible goals. My purpose of listing the possible goals is to suggest that all of us in the community must take some responsibility for having actively or passively created the current situation. When we merely name and treat some of the offending persons as pariahs we are, I think, not being very good social scientists or doing much to change future behavior. There are many factors, which have brought us to this point. We need to make it safe for all of us to own our active or passive part in creating the problem. Otherwise we will pretend as if self righteously punishing many people will ensure the end of sexual abuse and harassment. Not!
Written November 29, 2017
Truth will prevail or so it seems in the area of sexual abuse/harassment. Daily, or more often, someone is publicly outed as a person who has:
• Physically forced someone to have some level of sexual contact – kissing, genital contact, or other unwanted contact, which was experienced, as sexual.
• Used a position of authority/power to attempt to force someone to have some level of sexual contact/activity with one.
• Otherwise treated someone as a sexual object in a work or personal setting.
• Touched someone in a way, which was experienced but not intended on a conscious level as sexual.
• Talked about or joked about someone as if they were a sexual object.
• Refrained from speaking up when someone else was talking about someone as a sexual object.
• Strongly encouraged someone to drink or use other drugs in hopes of them accepting sexual advances.
• Using drugs such as date rape drugs to take advantage of someone sexually – to sexually assault one.
• Not respected no at a stage of sexual play.
• Used flirting in the workplace to achieve some work related goal.
• Deliberately dressed in away to provoke sexual notice without wanting or expecting any sexual activity. (This is not intended to imply that the victim is ever responsible for sexual abuse.)
If one is very honest with oneself, have you, the reader; have been guilty of any of these behaviors? Can one safely or accurately assume that a significant percentage of us have been guilty of one of these behaviors on at least one and perhaps several occasions? I suspect that is the case. Do all of us need to own our past behavior and begin discussions about how to address and change behavior, which is experienced as sexual abuse or harassment? Should all of us who own our behavior be punished in a court of law, lose our job, pay for damages or suffer some other penalty?
What is the goal of naming and punishing the offending person? Is our goal to?
• Show how widespread the problem is and identify what we need to do as a community to change future behavior?
• To punish or educate the abusers.
• To clearly identify the abusers and the victims?
• To identify how much education we need to do to help young people learn how to manage sexual feelings and verbal as well as non-verbal sexual communication?
• To help the victims of sexual abuse heals?
• To compensate those who lost a promotion or job because of not giving in to sexual advances?
• To identify educational goals regarding the use of alcohol and other recreational drugs?
• To pretend as if males are the only ones guilty of sexual abuse/harassment?
• To pretend as if all abuse or harassment is by heterosexuals?
I am sure that this is not an exhaustive list of possible goals. My purpose of listing the possible goals is to suggest that all of us in the community must take some responsibility for having actively or passively created the current situation. When we merely name and treat some of the offending persons as pariahs we are, I think, not being very good social scientists or doing much to change future behavior. There are many factors, which have brought us to this point. We need to make it safe for all of us to own our active or passive part in creating the problem. Otherwise we will pretend as if self righteously punishing many people will ensure the end of sexual abuse and harassment. Not!
Written November 29, 2017
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