Punishment versus Teaching
This morning, I thankfully found that the shoes I had accidentally left at the gym were still there. Yesterday, I had decided to leave my gym clothes on until I finished some chores. I did not remember to take home the sandals I had worn to the gym. A couple of weeks ago when returning from Florida the clutch on my car which only had 44,000 miles died. The dealer and car manufacturer are both saying it is normal wear which, in effect, would mean that I had abusively driven the car. In the first case, I was clearly at fault. In the second case, I was not at fault, but was being told that I was.
The temptation is for me to chastise/punish myself when I make a mistake or even begin to question if I could have prevented something such as the clutch going out. I grew up, as did many or most of us reading this blog, being taught that I would be punished if I made a mistake or deliberately made a bad decision. Punishment was supposed to make me want to behave differently. Certainly the punishment was severe enough that I would often try to behave differently to avoid future punishment, but not necessarily because I now understood that the behavior was not in my best interest or in the best interest of other people. In other words, I did not learn the important lesson that we are all better off when we behave in a way which honors the rights and dignity of all people. I merely learned to temporarily choose a different course of action to avoid punishment or the displeasure of someone. I also did not learn to be flexible and to evaluate each situation before making a decision.
We also know as the result of many studies that hunting dogs who are trained using negative reinforcement do not function well if anything in the hunting scenario changes. If there is a change in the situation, the dog will get very frustrated and not do what it was trained to do.
I also grew up in a very conservative religion where it was taught that God would punish me if I misbehaved. Naturally I was so frightened that I made even more mistakes . Each time I would verbally berate myself before the vengeful God did so.
While growing up I was also exposed to a different model of learning at the home of my favorite aunt and uncle – Harold and Pleasie. At their house, if an adult or child did something they should not have done, they checked to see if the person was okay and then talked about the reason for their wanting different behavior. For example, since they lived on a ranch with animals such as cows they kept a gun handy for shooting the coyote or other animal which might be trying to harm the farm animals. I was clearly told not to play with the guns. Naturally I was very curious about these guns. The first time my aunt and uncle were not around I took one of the guns off the rack and promptly shot out the glass window in the door. My aunt and uncle heard the shot and came running. They first wanted to make sure I was not hurt. Then they wanted to know if I now understood better why I was not to play with the gun. Thirdly, I was asked to help replace the glass in the door. No voice was raised.
Later when I started to seriously study theology at Princeton Theological Seminary I paid closer attention to the teachings of that man Jesus. Lo and behold he seemed to focus on lovingly teaching and not on punishment. It seemed the disciples kept being confused by his unconditional love of such people as the prostitute.
It was also while I was at the seminary that I took a graduate course in philosophy from the famous philosopher and poet, Walter Kaufman who taught at Princeton and, as I recall, at the Woodrow Wilson Institute. One of the courses was a seminar on the subject of justice. We spent an entire semester exploring and debating various approaches to the concept of justice. The amazing news to me was that there were many ways to define or approach justice.
Similarly, when I began to do addiction counseling and became more familiar with the 12 step model of recovery (AA, NA, OA, SA) I learned that part of the genius of the program was making it safe for individuals to be honest and, thus, accountable for the ways that their addictive behavior had affected others. Shaming or punishment is never the objective of the program. Admitting that one’s behavior has affected others and that it is important to acknowledge that and make amends when possible is important. One is never told that one is bad or worse than others.
I hope that this allows the reader, as well as myself, to continue the search for a way of approaching justice which works more effectively than the system we traditionally use in this country and elsewhere. There may be more effective options. In the next blog entry I will be sharing how the Tlingit Indians understand the concept of justice.
This morning, I thankfully found that the shoes I had accidentally left at the gym were still there. Yesterday, I had decided to leave my gym clothes on until I finished some chores. I did not remember to take home the sandals I had worn to the gym. A couple of weeks ago when returning from Florida the clutch on my car which only had 44,000 miles died. The dealer and car manufacturer are both saying it is normal wear which, in effect, would mean that I had abusively driven the car. In the first case, I was clearly at fault. In the second case, I was not at fault, but was being told that I was.
The temptation is for me to chastise/punish myself when I make a mistake or even begin to question if I could have prevented something such as the clutch going out. I grew up, as did many or most of us reading this blog, being taught that I would be punished if I made a mistake or deliberately made a bad decision. Punishment was supposed to make me want to behave differently. Certainly the punishment was severe enough that I would often try to behave differently to avoid future punishment, but not necessarily because I now understood that the behavior was not in my best interest or in the best interest of other people. In other words, I did not learn the important lesson that we are all better off when we behave in a way which honors the rights and dignity of all people. I merely learned to temporarily choose a different course of action to avoid punishment or the displeasure of someone. I also did not learn to be flexible and to evaluate each situation before making a decision.
We also know as the result of many studies that hunting dogs who are trained using negative reinforcement do not function well if anything in the hunting scenario changes. If there is a change in the situation, the dog will get very frustrated and not do what it was trained to do.
I also grew up in a very conservative religion where it was taught that God would punish me if I misbehaved. Naturally I was so frightened that I made even more mistakes . Each time I would verbally berate myself before the vengeful God did so.
While growing up I was also exposed to a different model of learning at the home of my favorite aunt and uncle – Harold and Pleasie. At their house, if an adult or child did something they should not have done, they checked to see if the person was okay and then talked about the reason for their wanting different behavior. For example, since they lived on a ranch with animals such as cows they kept a gun handy for shooting the coyote or other animal which might be trying to harm the farm animals. I was clearly told not to play with the guns. Naturally I was very curious about these guns. The first time my aunt and uncle were not around I took one of the guns off the rack and promptly shot out the glass window in the door. My aunt and uncle heard the shot and came running. They first wanted to make sure I was not hurt. Then they wanted to know if I now understood better why I was not to play with the gun. Thirdly, I was asked to help replace the glass in the door. No voice was raised.
Later when I started to seriously study theology at Princeton Theological Seminary I paid closer attention to the teachings of that man Jesus. Lo and behold he seemed to focus on lovingly teaching and not on punishment. It seemed the disciples kept being confused by his unconditional love of such people as the prostitute.
It was also while I was at the seminary that I took a graduate course in philosophy from the famous philosopher and poet, Walter Kaufman who taught at Princeton and, as I recall, at the Woodrow Wilson Institute. One of the courses was a seminar on the subject of justice. We spent an entire semester exploring and debating various approaches to the concept of justice. The amazing news to me was that there were many ways to define or approach justice.
Similarly, when I began to do addiction counseling and became more familiar with the 12 step model of recovery (AA, NA, OA, SA) I learned that part of the genius of the program was making it safe for individuals to be honest and, thus, accountable for the ways that their addictive behavior had affected others. Shaming or punishment is never the objective of the program. Admitting that one’s behavior has affected others and that it is important to acknowledge that and make amends when possible is important. One is never told that one is bad or worse than others.
I hope that this allows the reader, as well as myself, to continue the search for a way of approaching justice which works more effectively than the system we traditionally use in this country and elsewhere. There may be more effective options. In the next blog entry I will be sharing how the Tlingit Indians understand the concept of justice.
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