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Sunday Musings - September 25, 2022

9/25/2022

Sunday Musings - September 25, 2022
Feeding Existential angst

For me the state of existential angst exists when I experience some situation involving other people or some aspect of the universe as so negative that I am forced to run screaming down the hall naked!!! Will, actually I do not do that, but I do end up acting as if my life as I know it is about to be vaporized leaving me alone and homeless in subzero weather. What creates such a state could be as simple as feeling I am being taken advantage of financially, someone not intuiting my expectations and, thus, not noticing my god like, center of the universe existence, or the universe not recognizing that I cannot live without constant access to high-speed internet service.

Some have suggested that existential angst occurs when a small event drains the last of one’s energy reserves resulting in a fight or flight response to a seemingly inconsequential event. Consequently, one might experience or observe road rage erupting into a fatal shooting, domestics violence of a partner over a meaningless argument, violence against a fussy child who just will not shut up, or excess salt resulting in throwing a pot or dish of red, tomato-based pasta sauce across the kitchen.

Some have suggested that when one experiences existential angst one is having a psychotic break which closes off access to common sense, core values or the possibility of logical thinking. Others have suggested that if one habitually experiences and acts on existential angst one’s brain is acting as if one is reacting to a high dose of a recreational drug such as meth amphetamine, crack cocaine, alcohol or some other brain numbing substance.

It is also possible medical issues such as brain tumors, an adult hydrocephalic condition, dementia or some other brain altering illness is altering one’s experience of reality resulting in paranoid or other delusional thoughts.

As far as I know, my experience of existential angst offers no medical justification for the fact that I am registering some event or action as life threatening or threatening life as I know it or expect it to be. Certainly, at times, I am simply on empty and unable to sanely process some event or situation. Regardless of the circumstances, almost immediately, following my inappropriate, over the top reaction I am overcome with a deep sense of embarrassment, shame, and existential angst over my experience of existential angst. Despite the advice of spiritual teachers, I may then exacerbate the situation by profusely, grovelingly and begging for forgiveness thus creating more existential angst or at the very least discomfort for me and the other person(s).

Obviously, the goal is (1) not to get overloaded(2) just to notice and not judge or otherwise exhibit angst over one’s angst and (3) retain a keen sense of humor for one’s perfect imperfect humanness.

Written September 24, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

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Wake, woke, woken, awaken

9/22/2022

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Wake, woke, woken, awaken

Some days I feel ancient; as if I have been channeling Rip Van Winkle and do not know the current word usage, idioms or slang terms. Such is the case with the term woke. Somehow the term which I used to think merely referred to the state of being awake or awaken by someone - My friend woke me. - has come to take on the august political responsibility of representing teachings about racial and social justice. Those terms have morphed into “social issues” which are somehow the opposite of education. It seems some think that one can convince students to learn skills such as reading, math, and writing which are good to know in and of themselves regardless of the purpose for which they work their magic. Education thus becomes the mechanical teaching of skills which are divorced from the practice of critical thinking about how to apply those skills. It is as if education can ignore that we have learned and used certain skills without sufficient regard for how the use of those can adversely affect the health of the planet and the health of all its’s inhabitants - humans, other living creatures, plants, minerals and the very air we attempt to breathe.   If skills are divorced from how their use affects its inhabitants, then one is free to amass an unfair share of resources, build structures whose purpose is to kill its inhabitants over time, farm in a way which eliminates the possibility of crops in the future, and burn fuels which result in global warming.

In this approach to education social justice, the teaching of history and ethical/moral issues become the equivalent of curse words, the use of which will result in eternal damnation in the mythical fires of hell.

In this approach to education, the goal becomes to ensure the emotional and mental comfort of a segment of the population; to assume that discomfort is the equivalent of shame; that discomfort interferes with learning when in fact any educator will confirm that stretching our brains is intrinsically uncomfortable.

Senator Lankford of Oklahoma and some of this colleagues have introduced legislation at the federal level which would “end NEA’s federal charger for pushing ‘woke ideology’ “ (article by Ashley Ellis KTUL staff, Wednesday, September 21st 202). She quotes Senator Lankford,

         “As the son of a teacher and someone who really appreciated the teachers in my life and my children’s lives, I get incredibly frustrated when our schools get distracted by social issues and become political proving grounds. Oklahoma parents are tired of the woke ideology being pushed on their kids and the progressive values being forced into our schools by a giant teacher’s union, The National Educational Association.”

Obviously, Senator Lankford is well intentioned; is committed to silencing what he experiences as a threat to his beliefs - his way of thinking. Apparently, despite this professed Christian beliefs he believes he has used the skills he learned to achieve what he has in this life journey; he believes that the God of his understanding has rewarded he and his family for adhering to what he understands is salvation through a profession of faith which acknowledges his sinful nature as a human without having to be accountable for specific sins such as racism, sexism, and homophobia. I would guess that he is fearful that progressive thoughts are, in fact, not progressive but the work of the devil dressed in the costume of the saints.

I have no doubt that his fear is genuine; that he deserves our love and compassion for wanting what he believes is best for his family.   It is, thus, the responsibility of those of us who conceptualize education as a means of creating a world which is inclusively just and equal - to make manifest “all men are created equal…” ; to entice students to learn reading, writing and arithmetic because they can use those skills to create the world implied in the words of our forefathers without the limits of the social constructs/beliefs and practices of those same forefathers.

Let’s use woke to awaken. Let us not use woke to feed fear. Let us not use woke to demonize those who are fearful of woke.

Let’s awaken to a common goal of creating a just, inclusive world.

Written September 22, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

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Sunday Musings - September 18, 2022

9/18/2022

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Sunday Musings – September 18. 2022
Look Carefully
Hope

In the entrance of the Greenwood Reconciliation Park in Tulsa, Oklahoma is a monument entitled HOPE in front of a large cascading waterfall. Actually, HOPE is one side of this three-sided monument. Humiliation and Hostility are the other two sides. Hope, however, dominates as one faces the monument. Behind it one is comforted by a magnificent cascading waterfall.

There is also a center memorial. Surrounding it are ten plagues containing brief statements chronicling the long history of response to the oppression of Native Americans and Slaves who continued to show up to fight for the Union, to care for the families of slaveholders, to endure Jim Crow, to build a thriving economic and spiritual Greenwood community only to be slaughtered and burnt and then once again to stay to rebuild/reclaim.

The huge circular center monument depicts men (seems to be only males) fighting, clawing, and assisting each other on their climb to the top. They are depicted with guns, plows, and other symbols of the tools they used for survival; of the symbols of the tenacity of faith which embodies a strength which few of us can imagine.

Emily Dickinson famously wrote the poem, “Hope is the thing with feathers”, the first stanza of which is: Hope is the thing with feather that perches in the soul.”

One wonders of the strength which somehow continues to hold the weight of trauma in the very cells of the DNA of the oppressed. As a child I picked hard shelled black walnuts which contained meat hidden in tunnels or veins which had to be patiently mined. When I think of hope in the midst of oppression; lynching, the sexual and soul raping of children and adults, the backbreaking toil until the motor of the body died, the discarding of the shell of the bodies which remained, the abject rejection of the kinship which the spirit gods ordained, I think of those walnuts which held on to their meat determined to only share it with those who were patient enough to extract it.

Hope is the thing with feathers. Feathers are seemingly wispy and yet, capable of shedding water and UV rays, providing warmth, permitting flight of amazing distance and becoming the quills which dictates the words which proclaim “We shall overcome. We shall thrive again. We will not be destroyed.” As does Bigger Thomas in Richard Wright’s Native Son feathers proclaim, “You can’t do nothin except kill me and that ain’t nothin.”

In recent years in the United States and other countries, the feathers of hope carry the courage and strength which is rebuilding Greenwood and other communities; the strong voices which will not be silence in the midst of bills forbidding the teaching of history; bills which ensures the comfort of privileged white boys and girls; the courage and strength which defies the excuses denying the need for reparations; the determination which refuses to be kept from the voting booths; the gift of ‘sight’ which often sees beneath the fear of loving; and the warm breeze which soars in the spite of the cold winds of hate,

One has to have courage and strength to see the feathers which protect the hope, Courage in the face of oppression, smiles in the face of hate, and love in the face of modern lynching. Look carefully. Greenwood Reconciliation Park is the heart where hope is held; the heart of the classroom where teachers respond to questions about history and sex, and where the realities of the fearful stand naked. Look carefully…

Written September 16, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

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The queen mother frees us

9/13/2022

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The queen mother frees us

The death of Queen Elizabeth on September 8, 2022 has elicited an outpouring of gratitude, admiration and grief. Most of those to whom I have spoken, regardless of their thoughts and feelings about the monarch and the long, sordid history of colonial oppressive abuse of individuals and countries, are, nonetheless, experiencing an acute sense of sadness.

A friend of mine remarked that in some respects she was the Queen for the world or the Queen Mother for the world. In a world which seems to be in a constant state of flux; for many, unstable with nothing solid under one’s feet or to put in one’s belly, many report feeling insignificant and lost as if they are throwaways. Many are without a country because of war, famine, political violence or other consequences of our failure to honor the fact that we are all brothers and sisters; that we are all family.

All too frequently it seems as if many of us mask our grief of being abandoned with anger. Our sense of helplessness morphs into a weapon against ourselves and/or each other.

The covid related necessity of social distancing and mask wearing further distanced many of us from the ritual of expressing and sharing our grief for personal and community loses.

Politically there also has been no stability or faith in the political parties or people.

For most of us there is no equivalent of the wailing wall; a place where we can express the wail of the depths of our grief; our feeling of being disconnected.

Perhaps for many around the world, Queen Elizabeth represented someone and something solid; someone or something which was going to be there. For 70 years she was the strong, ever-present presence and voice of reason. She did not align herself with political positions, fashion (although in her own way she was fashionable) or fads. She did not share her private griefs although she may, at times, have acknowledged they existed. As is true for many young children she was for many the empathetic person without demanding anything of others. Of course, we know that behind the closed doors there were those to whom she might have turned for solace or care. We knew, at some level, servants, physicians, and clergy stood by to care for her.

King Charles in his speech honoring the life of his mother recounted her pledge as a young woman of 21 “to devote her life, whether it be short or long to the service of her pupils.”

No matter the commitment of King Charles one cannot conceive that he can fill the shoes of the Queen Mother. Her death is not only the end of an era, but for many an occasion to trigger the grief which has been sealed in vaults behind walls of hopelessness, anger, and perhaps denial.

Perhaps as some of us open the gates to allow the grief to freely flow, we will find new strength; a new sense of resolve to, as expressed by King Charles, to serve. In serving we can, if courage allows, find our worth and strength.

Written Sept 13, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

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Sunday Musings - September 11, 2022

9/11/2022

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Sunday Musings - September 11, 2022
The nature of truth

Many of us humans seem particularly fond of what we decide is “the truth”. Religious leaders, politicians, news people, those selling a product, teachers, parents or one’s next-door neighbor will gladly share their reality which they may present as “the truth”. It is not often, however, that it is “the truth”. There are, of course, occasions when most of us can agree on some shared reality. I am currently sitting in Panera’s coffee shop with a number of other people. My guess is that if I asked every person here, most, if not all, would agree this is a coffee shop which is contained in a building on 41st Street in Tulsa, Oklahoma on Friday, September 9 at 9:00 a.m. 2022. Some might add other descriptive adjectives which are unique to their experience of this place. On the other hand, if I asked each person to tell me which religions had the true god, if the current president is doing a good job, or to articulate a definition of justice, I would likely get a variety of opinions. Some would undoubtedly present their opinion as “the truth”.

If one tells oneself, one knows that one’s experience of reality is “the truth” one may feel one knows how to proceed in this life journey. There is often a certain comfort in thinking one “knows” what is true or right or moral. Many of us do not like the reality of uncertainly even if we “know” there is not certainly in this life journey.

Most religion leaders may attempt to comfort many with “the truth” of their God and how that god expects one to behave. The particular beliefs about what that God expects may have been formulated at a time when limited information was available. Thus, there was a time when it appeared and many believed the earth was flat; there was a limited number of sperm; certain sexual practices would waste seeds; certain social and work roles were gender specific; manhood or womanhood was contained in particular behavior; the earth was indestructible; one could pull oneself up by one’s metaphorical bootstraps; good people are successful financially; punishing humans for hurtful behavior will result in a safer community; their god will physically return to “judge the quick and the dead”; and the end justifies the means.

Most of us could create quite a long list of what we want to believe is true or correct. Just this morning I heard someone state with apparent certainty that the current president of the United States is responsible for the inflation which is destroying the budget of many on this country. I also heard it implied that all healthy people are heterosexual. Someone else suggested that the belief that climate change is caused by we humans is just plain wrong. Another person suggested that the Christian Religion is “the true religion”. Someone else suggested that Allah is the one true God.

Many of us know much of what we thought to be true at age 4, 10 or even 20 is not what we believe to be true today. Yes, we may resist allowing for the possibility that what we experience, or think is true today may be based on a very limited slice of reality. We may not yet have access to or even be open to new information which may change our view of reality.

What if “just for today” we open ourselves to the possibility that there are many possible realities; many possible ways of looking at the world or slices of the world; many opportunities to learn from those whose views are different than ours? What if “just for today” the god of our understanding is just one possibility; our way of living with Mother Nature may not be the best way; our attractions are neither right or wrong but just ours; labeling events, people, or things as good/bad, right/wrong; moral/immoral closes doors rather than opens them. What if….

Written September 11, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

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Privileged

9/7/2022

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Privileged

The myth in the United States is that if you work hard you will be successful. Success is frequently contained in a comfortable house, well running car, 2 + children, a dog and marital bliss.

It is no secret that in the United States if one is Caucasian, free of debilitating mental illness, have a brain which functions well on standard intelligence tests and have some developable talents that one has a much better chance of being successful. There are, of course, notable exceptions including such individuals as Sonia Sonia Sotomayor, Maya Angelou, Corey Brooker and Barack Obama.   In any neighborhood of moderate to exceptional financial means, one can find exceptions to those who were not born to or adopted by Caucasian, mentally heathy, financially abled parents. They seemingly pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps. Yet, even for those , chance, luck or fate played a significant role.

One does not choose one’s skin color, race, intelligence quotient, innate talents, mental health or chance meetings. One may, early in life, stumble on a can-do attitude and possess the physical and intellectual means to set and achieve certain goals.   One may, as is true for the Williams sisters, be borne to parents who recognize, coach and nurture amazing talent.

In my own case I was borne with a certain brain, the absence of serious mental illness and given the opportunity to have amazing mentors including my Grandmother Fannie, Uncle Harold, Aunt Pleasie, hardworking and creative parents, David, Minnie, Wanda, Captain Berthrong, Beverly , Dr. Winslade (sp?) and a host of others who encouraged/pushed me. I was in the right place at the right time to meet these individuals. These meetings, in turn, allowed me to take risks and push myself to get a certain education which led to other meetings. My first wife agreed to put off having and raising children so we could both work while I attended college and graduate school. I owe enormous debts to all of these individuals as well as many others.

It is true that I had to also work hard. As a child my siblings and I worked alongside our hard-working parents in creating a life which excluded electricity, running water or indoor bathroom facilities.   In high school I worked many hours a week at a local grocery store. Once I left home as a member of the United States Navy my mother, paternal grandmother and Aunt Pleasie wrote frequent letters of encouragement.   I had professors who went out of their way to guide and support me intellectually and emotionally.

Although I had to overcome certain limitations of size and unlike my older sister, had to study rather than learning coming easy to me, the fact that I was white, traditionally attractive (even if I did look to be 10 at age 30 and did not consider myself attractive) and could speak United States, middle class, Caucasian English gave me an unearned advantage. This was in addition to the brain I was gifted by God or the gods at birth.    I did not have clinical depression, ADHD or other learning differences to create additional challenges.

My point is that there were an enormous number of factors which allowed me to find and take advantage of opportunities to work hard to achieve what, for me, is success. The word that I use to describe the relative ease of my having a ladder to climb and being able to climb it is privileged.

I have met many people who “work hard” and keep getting knocked down or over with physical and mental illnesses, acts of nature, other illness or a host of other factors. I am not more talented, a harder worker, brighter or more deserving than they are.

It has often been said that it takes a village to raise a child. Yet, many do not have a village or an illness keeps them separate from that village. Whether we call it Mother Nature, the act of God or the gods, fate, chance or some other name some of us are privileged.

I happen to believe that privilege demands a responsibility to put oneself in the path of others so that “chance or fate” can do its work. I believe that the success of one can and should affect the success of all . I believe that success is a spiritual goal and not a destination. I believe that we are created to be one village, one people; all equally deserving. I believe that all of us have particular talents which, given a chance, can contribute to the quality of life for all. I believe the ability, including the gift of motivation to work hard, is to be humbly treasured.

Written September 7, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

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Sunday Musings - September 4, 2022

9/4/2022

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Sunday Musings - September 4, 2022

In the United States it is Labor Day weekend. Labor Day was declared a national holiday in 1894 . The roots of this day grew out of violent clashes between labor and police during the Haymarket Riot in 1886 when thousands of workers in Chicago took to the streets to demand an eight-hour workday.

Some of us are blessed to work for ourselves although we are not always the kindest employer to ourselves. A relatively few may work for a company or organization where one is treated with enormous respect emotionally and financially. Many continue to work for employers who work them until they expire emotionally, spiritually and physically. It is sad that the employer whose has bought the lie that that our self-worth is based on how many toys we can buy, how big our house is, or what college one’s children attend is often very lonely and has to keep chasing after something which temporarily makes him or her feel important.

In some cultures, some hold on to the practice of only working until one has enough to pay the bills and perhaps save something for emergencies. They may then close up for the day at noon and go home to be with their families.

Many, especially those whose primary job is childcare and home management, do not get a paycheck, paid vacations or even appreciation. Some are, however, in a very loving, respectful relationship in which their work is considered as important as the partner whose may get a paycheck.

Some individuals feed our souls by creating music, art, dance, poetry, music, novels, and sculptures. Some feed us spiritually in other ways. Pema Chodron, Ram Dass and the Dali Lama are such individuals.   I have known a few Rabbi’s, ministers, and imams’ who fed me spiritually. Some who have fed me were recognized as wise elders and were honored as such in their community. Such was the case with David and Minnie in their Tlingit Indian village of Hoonah Alaska.   Many of my spiritual teachers have been wise women. Often my teachers are the homeless, those in prison and those who have no outward traditional symbols of success. Jesus was such a teacher as was Mother Theresa.

On this Labor Day, one might want to pause and consider the model of success which we want to model for the children in our home or village. Is success how much money we make or other symbols of financial gain? Is quietly listening valuable labor. How about creating a quiet, nurturing space where we can feed each other physically and emotionally? Can we have a mealtime without cell phones or other devices?

A good friend of mine was a “stay at home mom” in the District of Columbia. She raised two boys in the museum and historic monuments of the city.   Her husband was a lawyer for the Justice Department.   They spent very little time on creating a “perfectly” manicured home. If one was invited to dinner, one went early enough to wash dishes. One had to clear off a chair or couch if one wanted a place to sit. it was not a home which would ever be featured in some house beautiful magazine. Yet, it was a home in which every corner was filled with love and opportunities to exercise one’s heart and mind. Their respective labor made a huge difference in the lives of their children who then touched the lives of many others. Later mom became a teacher in the inner-city schools of the DC area again teaching by modeling a rich emotional and spiritual life.

My friend Paul who just graduated from college is working for a company which has work in another country.   Although Paul is staying in luxury hotels he is impressed with and spending time with the “locals”, the hotel staff and some of his colleagues. His labor is not only the work for which he is being paid but being present with all he encounters regardless of position, wealth, or class.

On this Labor Day some of us might choose to quietly consider what we want to teach the children of our village what counts as labor; what labor we honor and what we take for granted.

Written September 4, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

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Sunday Musings - September 25, 2022

Wake, woke, woken, awaken

Sunday Musings - September 18, 2022

The queen mother frees us

Sunday Musings - September 11, 2022

Privileged

Sunday Musings - September 4, 2022

Jimmy Pickett is a life student who happens to be a licensed counselor and an addiction counselor. He is a student of Buddhism with a background of Christianity and a Native American heritage.

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