​The Red People State and white privilege
 
Most of those who know me know that I am a creature of habit.  Today is Friday.  It must be the day to listen to the weekly On Being podcast with host Krista Tibbett. This week her conversation is with the documentary investigative journalist John Biewen.  The title of the conversation is “The Long View, 1: On Being White.  “John Biewen is the audio program director at Duke University’s Center for Documentary Studies and host of the audio documentary podcast, Scene on Radio. In that series, John has explored whiteness, masculinity and democracy.” (On Being transcript).  Much of this conversation references a podcast series on “Seeing White”.
 
Most of us have long realized that race is a social construct although pigmentation is not.  Pigmentation changes.  Many of those who identify as white may be more darkly pigmented that those who are labeled as people of color.  Despite this fact. all of us have grown up in the United States with a clear concept of what is meant by the term race. Many of us who are identified as white have given little thought to our label of whiteness.
 
It is perhaps ironic that next week, following a 62-year absence, I am returning to live in Tulsa, Oklahoma.   Although born in Chicago I spent at least 2/3rd of my childhood in Oklahoma.  I grew up learning an inaccurate and distorted history of the sate which did not include the fact that long before some of my ancestors settled there the territory - later to become a state -belonged to Native Americans.   I also did not learn that the word Oklahoma derives from a Choctaw Indian word meaning red people- people (Okla.) and red (humma).  Neither did I learn about the Tulsa race massacre of May 31 and June 1921.   It was not until the state legislature appointed a commission in 1996 to study his massacre that I and many other began to learn of it. Some historians have called this massacre the single worst incident of racial violence in
United States history.  It took place in the Greenwood District of Tulsa, one of the then richest black communities in the United States.
 
Today, the leaders of Tulsa are writing a new chapter which celebrates its diversity in terms of nationality, “racial identification”, sexism,  sexual orientation and religion.  When I recently visited I observed a different city than the one where I attended high school.
 
It is ironic that even as I prepare to return to this city as a man who has studied and worked toward creating a more just nation I am acutely aware of my white male privilege expectations.    The fact that I expect the process of the closing of the sale of my current house and the closing of the purchase of my condominium in Tulsa to go smoothly; that I expect to be treated with respect belies my status and expectations as a white male.  Although I have a history of being bullied and being treated as less than because of who I am and what I profess to be my core values, a part of me expects to be treated well and am shocked when I am not.
 
I have, in the past, been asked to write a personal history beginning with how and at what age I learned racism.  My earliest memory of consciously using racism to divert responsibility was at age 4 or 5. I clearly knew at that age- before I knew the term racism- blaming my behavior on my back playmate would get me off the hook.   I could write a similar history of learning how to use my white male privilege.  
 
The fact that I was identified as a white male at birth has given me certain advantages and privileges; how easily I transitioned from being poor and not considered suitable material for college to a person with graduate degrees required that others, including my son’s mother, buy into my “right” to be the one to attend college while we both worked to put me through college.  The fact that I was chosen by a U. S. Naval Captain to apply for and later to attend the U. S. Naval Academy  which included no females at that time and dining room service by a large staff of Pilipino joins the thousands of other facts of the advantages I enjoyed because I happened to be born male and to be identified as white.
 
One of the questions which Krista Tippett asks all her guests is their opinion of what it means to be human.  If my identify is not attached to the perceived pigment of my skin, the assumptions about my X and Y chromosomes, background as a Christian,  sexual orientation, education or other chance assigned labels who am I?  What make me uniquely human if not these labels.
 
A friend of mine was, in the years following the raising of his children, serving as a Peace Corp member in Benin, Africa. He wrote to tell me that the people there did not care about his education, his struggle with alcoholism, his recovery from alcoholism, his profession, the numbers in his bank account or any of the other labels which had previously defined him, He had to ask that same question, “What does it mean to be him?  What does it mean to be human?
 
This is the challenge for all of us.  What words or labels communicate the essence of who we are.  Today many of us know it is not skin pigmentation, gender, religion, nationality,  sexual orientation, ancestral heritage, age, education or bank account.  Is it how well we listen?  Is it the extent to which we have the courage to know each other?  Is It admitting to the privileges we enjoy based on artificial constructs? 
 
Owning our privileges and rejecting the labels we have been assigned is not about shamefully hiding. It may be about relaxing into the freedom of not carrying the burden of less than by pretending to be more than.
 
Written October 30, 2020
Jimmy. F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

​Every goodbye could be the last
 
As my readers know, I am in the process of getting ready to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma.   This past few weeks I have been spending time with friends – two to four at a time – to celebrate friendships and to say goodbye.  Covid-19 prevents a larger gathering and there are not enough evenings and weekends to meet with all who are important to me.   Fortunately, thanks to my mother, Grandma Fannie and Aunt Pleasie at a young age I learned to practice the art of letter writing.  Many readers of this blog may take cell phone and the internet for granted, but when I was growing up in the dark ages, often without electricity much less a telephone,  letter writing was the only available options for staying in touch.  If one did have a phone it was likely a party line shared with other households. The monthly fee covered only local call.   Long distance calls were expensive and, thus, reserved for special occasions such as emergencies.  Although I have had a cell phone and the internet for many years, letter writing is still one of my preferred ways of keeping in touch.   I do, however, use email, messenger and text messaging.  Some of my friends and I have agreed to retain the format of letters,  but use email since it makes the trip to and from such places as Australia much quicker than snail mail.
 
While I am in the midst of  making this important life transition, the life journey of others goes on. For example, a dear friend is now living his last days.  Many of my friends are at the same age as those whose deaths I read about in the obituary section of the local newspapers. Interspersed between the names of those who have lived 4 score and more are the names of those who have lived one or two score or less.  
 
Most of us live our life as if there will always be time to spend with loved ones even when covid-19 or other reminders by mother nature remind us of the brevity and fragility of this life journey.    We seem very surprised when someone close to us dies or when work colleagues interrupt our schedule by dying,  taking a different job  and/or moving away.  It is as if we expect the current moment to stretch to infinity.   Even if we seldom spend time with someone we like the illusion that when we finally create time in our schedule they will be available.  Often we are reminded that is not the case and, yet, we soon return to the same busy schedule until we are again surprised that others are  moving on instead of patiently waiting for us to make time for a visit
 
When we are in love or lust or limerick there is plenty of time for the person who has captured our attention.  A few wise people continue to make time to share the delight of their love for 60 or even 70 years.  I have known a few of those couples.
 
I am not only saying “so long for now” to the possibility of a in person meeting but preparing to say hello to a city and people I left some 62 years ago.  I have moved many times in my life journey.  I have not always been good about simultaneously nurturing existing friendships and opening my heart and mind to new ones.  There have been times when I seemed to barely have enough energy to take the next step; when the emotions of a troubled relationship or the pull of a career transition took 99.9 % of my energy.  I did not, at those times, often say thank you or goodbye.  I was emotionally and physically absent.   Those were lonely times. Today I am more intentional about staying in close touch and allowing others to give me support.
 
Today my spiritual intention is to be honest and trustworthy with myself and others.  For me that means I do not want to pretend as if there is always time to spend with loved ones or to open myself to new opportunities. I want to be emotionally and not just physically present with loved ones and not thinking about my next task or encounter.   I know every meeting is a potential goodbye as well as a hello.  I want my heart, my words and my dance to reflect my deep desire to leave love and joy with every encounter whether with a longtime friend who may not be biologically related or the store clerk I may only see one time.
 
Written October 29, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

​ 
Sin, sin, sin!!!
 
This morning my spiritual intention is to remove the log from my own eye before I worry about the spec in the eye of my brother or sister.   I am constantly remined that I have lived these 4 score years being taught there is some way of judging who is a good person and who is a bad person.   Many religions have posited what they thought displeased the god of their understanding.   Some, such as Catholics, formulated a list of what they considered mortal and venial sins.   A venial sin was lesser and does not, in their opinion, result in a complete separation from God and eternal damnation.  A mortal sins would result in eternal damnation in hell.    Mortal sins included: voluntary murder, sodomy and homosexual relations, taking advantage of the poor and defrauding the working person of his or her wages.   The Pope has recently, to be fair, decided that the god of his understanding does not mind civil unions between consenting, same gender adults.
 
Various judicial systems have been created to enforce laws passed by legislative bodies which allege who is good and who is bad.  In the United States this has resulted in imprisoning an enormous number of people, often for long periods of time.  Those imprisoned learn to function in a very harsh and dysfunctional system and, thus, often become harden criminals.  Many of these are individual with such diseases as addiction and mental illness as well as those who grew up in a survival atmosphere.   To be fair, there are those who, in spite of the prison system and occasionally because of it, do find the help they need.    Prisons are, not, however designed to ensure that individuals learn to believe they are a valuable member of the larger community.
 
Who goes to prison is significantly influenced by political  attitudes and ambitions, who can afford an attorney who is highly skilled at selecting juries (or can afford to hire an expert at selecting juries) and who possess more oratory skills than opposing attorneys.  Law and the enforcement of laws is influenced by current political, religious and cultural attitudes.
 
All these factors, one’s personal history including one’s sense of entitlement  and one’s religious and cultural views affect the extent to which one is likely to see the spec in the eye of one’s neighbor rather than the log in one’s own eyes.  
 
Once one is aware of the above it is difficult to “correctly” fill out the excel or numbers spread sheet with the sin points of oneself and one neighbor.   It is certainly impossible for this human.
 
Written October 27, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

​Who deserves health care?
 
Once again, health care is part of the political debate. There are several issues which all of us need to be prepared to address which includes:
 

• Is health care a right or a privilege?
• Should luck, fate, chance, God, hard work or other factors determine who  has access to high quality health care?
• Should survival of the fittest be the determination of who lives and dies?
• Should medical school be free?
• Should medical residency be decently paid?
• Should all who have to get years of training for their profession be guaranteed a decent income while training?
• Should pharmaceuticals companies be publicly owned or be not for profit?
• Should the cost of research be built into the cost of medication?
• Is cost of research, high CEO and other top salaries, and shareholders expectations all responsible for cost of medications?
• Is “what the market will bear” often the basis for pricing medication?
• Does any health care  specialist or administrator need or deserve to make more money that than the average teacher or other professional public servant?  Generally primary care physicians do not expect to make above average income.
• Do we need to quit pretending that Medicare for all is the answer?  One pays extra  for Medicare, parts B, C, and D depending on plan and income.
• Medicaid and certain platinum level health insurance plans  are only programs which does not require co-pay or deductible.   Medicaid eligibility is determined by each state.
• VA is not free to all veterans or all who serve as a member of the national guard.  Veterans who have income and non-service-connected disability pay a significant co-pay and are ineligible for dental and some other care.   National guard units are state organizations and its members are not automatically eligible for VA care.
• If supplies of medication or vaccines are limited who decides who gets priority?
• Should health care be accessible to all regardless of religious beliefs, sexual orientation, age, physical and mental ability, and gender?  Does this include birth control, addiction treatment, sexual reassignment surgery and other procedures which are considered elective by some?
• Should children regardless of citizenship status be eligible for health care?
• Who should pay for the health care of immigrants who do not have money or insurance?
• Should doctor require an office visit to get test results to individuals especially if routine or should those automatically be available to the patient without additional charge?
• What tort reform if any,  would be necessary to change some of our health care practices and expectations?
• Are we over reliant on pharmaceutical treatments and “quick fixes” which may target short term treatment of symptoms rather than root causes?

 
These and many other issues need to be addressed if we are to reduce the cost of health care in the United States and make it more accessible?  Yet, many of these issues will trigger  emotional reactions.  Many health care professionals will find that they have a vested  monetary interest or attachment to a level of prestige or status within our current system.  Many individuals may even find that they have an emotional attachment to believing that only  “deserving”  people have access to high quality and speedy health care.   Many will believe that the level of care afforded to or given to the President of the United States recently should only be available to  a relatively few individuals.
 
Questions of health care access and care can result in being forced to examine our most core spiritual beliefs about who we are as humans and to extent to which we be believe “all “people” are created equal and all deserve to be treated as essential to the function of the whole.

Written October 26, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 

​Sunday Musings – October 25, 2020
 
This week reminded me that I am particularly fond of the illusion of being in control; that I can make plans, do my homework, and righteously expect all the other characters in this play of life to do the parts to which they have been assigned.  When the other characters do not  follow the script I get frustrated,  upset and at times judgmental.  At the same time, I am reacting I am acutely aware that I have no idea what is going on in the lives of the other characters in the play.  Just recently I wrote about the fact that it is impossible for me to walk in the shoes of another.
 
Yesterday, while meeting with a client, I was reminded of the novel The Shack by William young.   Although the story comes out of a Christian framework it is the same story that wise teachers have taught for years.  In this story, Jesus, posing as a simple cook in a lakeside shack or cabin suggest to a father whose young daughter has been raped and killed that it is safe to trust that his daughter is at peace and he can forgive the man who committed this terrible act,   As the story unfolds we find, not surprisingly, that he did not actually revisit the shack and spend time with the three persons of the trinity but be does somehow know the location of his daughter’s body.
 
The theologians and the psychologists could and have debated about how this story relates or does not relate to the commandment of Jesus and other spiritual teachers to love one’s enemy.    In fact, many theologians have debated what love in this context entails, how that concept of love affects the judicial system and who benefits from forgiveness.  That same debate then has to tackle the issues of free will and personal responsibility.  The answer to these questions may force one to confront one’s humanness and how one can move on after judging and hurting others or being judged and hurt by others.
 
Once again I am reminded that the attempt of us humans to hold on to religious (not spiritual) explanations for why we behave as we do can lead us to discount what science teaches us about the human brain and all the various factors which affect what neurons fire, how they fire, and what is retrieved or left dormant in the brain.   The amount of brain activity to form one simple thought is enormous.  Yet, science also teaches us that there are other forces which affect how our brain functions, our so-called emotions and how these interact with all the energy forces of the universes.
 
On this Sunday morning I continue to be aware  of the fact that questions invariably lead to more questions which can lead to humility and an openness to the miracles of everyday  life.  Today I know that I seem to have the ability to direct my focus to acceptance of both my powerlessness and the power which arises from accepting my powerlessness; the power to be non-judgmentally and lovingly present; the power to accept the minor role of my character in this play of life. 
 
Written October 25, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
[email protected]
 
 
 

​Breaking the chain of unkind behavior
 
Today my spiritual intention is to not allow the behavior of others to dictate my behavior or attitude. 
 
It seems so often we blame or base our behavior on the behavior of another.  The person who may have been unkind or even abusive was probably treated unkindly or abusively in the past by someone who was treated unkindly or abusively by someone in his or her past.    Each time the victim became the perpetrator.  Each time the person blamed his or her behavior on the person who treated them badly.  Each time the person behaving badly or unkindly felt their behavior was justified. Each time every person in the chain has done their part to ensure the cycle of violence continues. 
 
No one else is responsible for my behavior except me.  No one forces me to view or experience only the surface behavior of another and very arrogantly judge them as if their behavior is worse than my worst behavior.   I sincerely believe that:
 

• Many medical conditions can cause a brain to make decisions and result in unkind or even cruel behavior.
• Certain drugs, including alcohol, some other recreational drugs, and some prescribed drugs can cause a brain to malfunction.
• Many of us learn to avoid emotional pain by pushing away others in an unkind manner or striking out in anger as a way of dealing with the pain. 

 
None of us is his or her worst behavior.  It is understandable that we find it easy to  succumb to reactionary behavior.   Obviously, none of us like or deserve to be treated badly. Yet, we also have the responsibility and opportunity to break the chain.  We do not have to respond to exterior behavior but can choose to respond to the pain we know is hiding beneath the shield of bad behavior.    Most of us already practice responding to unkind behavior with love and kindness if know the person has a diagnosed condition such as dementia. We may get tired and frustrated if we are the caretaker for an ill person, but we do not justify acting unkindly. We know the person has a malfunctioning brain and cannot be held responsible for their behavior.
 
I am not suggesting that any of us can always remember to act with love to the pain underlying bad behavior, but I am suggesting that we can lovingly hold ourselves accountable and quit blaming our unkind behavior on the behavior of another.  When we  take good care of ourselves emotionally, intellectually,  spiritually and physically and are intentional about our behavior we can make a significant impact on creating a world where more people feel safe to deal with their pain rather hiding behind unkind or cruel behavior.  I know that today I have the power to do my part by being accountable for my behavior no matter what anyone else does.
 
I am not suggesting that it is safe or okay to cosign abusive behavior.  It is important and necessary to keep ourselves safe.   We can, however, do this with love and kindness.  It is important to be clear we will do all we can to keep ourselves and our loved one in a safe place.  For some this may mean a shelter for victims of domestic violence. For some, this means seeking the assistance of law enforcement.   Even these actions can, however, be done with love.
 
Written October 23, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 

​Listening with love and patience
 
My spiritual intention today is to listen with love and patience.   As I thought more about this intention as I was getting ready for work,  I reminded myself that listening with patience is itself  a loving act. 
 
So often what is most comforting to another is knowing they are “heard”;  not only do we  hear the words  and non-verbal communication, but we allow ourselves to experience being emotionally present without getting lost in the intensity of what the other might be feeling.   That is often a delicate balance.   While we want to be present with the pain or joy of another, if we allow ourselves to be absorbed by the intense emotions of another we will move from the one offering  the comfort of strength to the one needing the comfort of strength.   I recall, as a very young man, intending to comfort my neighbor whose husband had suddenly died and becoming so overwhelmed with emotion that I just added to the burden of my neighbor.   I had not yet learned the art of being emotionally present without being absorbed by the grief.
 
If we are a particularly emotionally sensitive person we may need to learn how to block some of the energy of the emotion emanating from another without shutting down emotionally and, thus, communicating that we do not really care what they are experiencing.   Sometimes just crossing one’s arms will block some of the intensity of the emotional energy emanating from the other person.  One can experiment with physically modulating the reception of energy.  It may take some practice.
 
Today I will practice listening and being emotionally present while offering strength and keeping the focus on  what others are experiencing. 
 
Written October 22, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 

​Debate versus sound bites
 
The goal of a political speech or a political advertisement is frequently convincing potential voters that a vote for the opponent will have disastrous results.   Occasionally, there is an attempt to inform or even educate but that  seems to be the exception.  Facts, detailed plans or even the truth may not be important.  If one can appeal to the fear of the listener one may achieve one’s goal of more votes.  Sound bites – brief statements often delivered out of context -are designed for this purpose.  “Lying M” with M being the name of one’s opponent is a good example of a sound bite.  Sound bites are similar to headlines.  They are intended to grab the attention or stir the emotions of the reader or listener.
 
By the time a family or couple see me in my counseling office they have frequently sunk to the level of throwing unkind sound bites at each other.  The goal is not problem solving but hurting the other person and/or establishing who is the victim and who is the perpetrator.  They do not need to pay me to continue to practice what they have, by that time, perfected.   My goal is to guide them in returning to problem solving.  Problem solving demands being able to agree on a shared goal. Most families honesty want to create a healthy home where it is safe to be themselves and to grow together emotionally and spiritually. A couple did not get married or create a family so that they could perfect the art of hurting each other. Yet, all too often, that can become the unstated or even the stated goal.
 
If not careful, we can all fall into the trap of coming to believe that the art of throwing sound bites at each other is the same as having a debate. We can do this in our family and we can do this as a community.
 
In a formal debate on a high school or college debate team there are a lot of rules to ensure that each side is presenting cogent, well thought out reasons or justifications for their position or opinions.  Some families have established a similar list of rules for family meeting or discussions.  The core goal of a family meeting might be to treat all family members with respect.  This necessitates an agreement that the thoughts and feelings of all the family member are equally important. Quakers require that decisions be made by consensus. This means that a decision can only be made when all members of the family or group come to an agreement.
 
It is also important for couples, families, and groups to agree that the goal is not to make a perfect decision but to strive to make one which is as consistent as possible with the mission, purpose or goal of the family or organization. If the goal of an organization is to make as much money as possible, then who might be injured by the decision is not important.  Thus, a United States spokesperson stated last year that the primary justification for selling weapons to a country was to make a profit thus creating jobs for United States workers.   If the goal had been to reduce the number of weapons in the world while ensuring employment then the decision might have been to help the weapons manufactures begin to retool to make a different product.
 
The goal of a political body might be to promote the survival of the fittest or it might be to ensure that everyone has an equal opportunity to become the fittest.
 
It is imperative that a clear and honest goal be started before an individual or a group decides whether to use sound bites or a debate format.   If the goal is to bully, overpower, deceive or to appeal to emotions than clearly sound bites needs to be the format. If the goal is to educate, explore the pros and cons of various options or create a more cohesive family or community than a debate format is clearly the most effective. Obviously a debate format assumes the art of active listening.
 
Perhaps it is important to note that internet based social media may make it easier to fall into the trap of using sound bites although I think us humas had perfected the use of sound bites long before the advent of internet based social media.
 
Written October 21, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 

When the muse seems not to visit
 
My spiritual intention yesterday was to trust that I will get what I need to grow spiritually.  When I had some time to write, I kept staring at the screen waiting for the muse to visit; waiting for intention to become manifest reality .  No sooner had I shared this intention than I noticed I was obsessively thinking about an issue  the “right” resolution of which I had decided would determine my state of mind.  Other than requesting that someone I know explore some options there was nothing I could do.
 
The logical question to ask the universe was, “What am I needing to learn  which will feed my spiritual growth?”   I already  know that I am powerless over other people, places and things.  I also “know” that the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry  (Adapted from a line in “To a Mouse” by Robert Burns.). Thirdly. I know what seems important in one moment is not, in the grand scheme of things, all that important.  Fourthly, I know that my experiences to date have brought me to this moment which includes countless moments of existential angst about what I thought was important at a particular moment in time.  Fifthly, I know I am not the center of the universe; that neither the universe nor other people can make my life miserable or make my life what I think it should be.  Other people are taking action or not taking action (which is taking action) because of their decisions based on their perceived needs. 
 
Have said all this brings me back to the initial question of what I need to learn spiritually.  I simply need to remind myself to practice the serenity prayer:  “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference”.   I have done all I know to do regarding my concerns.  If today I discover something else I could do I can take that action.  In the meantime, I need to focus on what I can control.  I have scheduled clients. I can focus on showing up emotionally as well as physically.   I still have a lot of moving related tasks to do.  I have correspondence courses sitting on my desk waiting my attention.  I have books I have been saying I want to read. There are several podcasts which I always find enlightening and informative.   There is never a shortage of activities which will help me come closer to becoming.
 
I learned nothing new yesterday.   I simply reminded myself of what I “know” but, at times, find difficult to practice.
 
Often,  I do not need to learn anything new but to come to an acceptance at another level.  I seem to learn spiritual lessons at a certain level. Then a new situation presents itself and it feels as if I have learned nothing. I then need to refocus on accepting the same lesson at a new level.  It is not so much a matter of knowing but of accepting which, for me, always involves trusting that I will get what I need to grow spiritually; to return myself to myself; to accept as Psalm 103:15 reminds us “Yes, a human being’s days are like grass, he sprouts like a flower in the countryside-“(The Complete Jewish Bible)
 
Written October 20, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
​

​Sunday Musings -   October 18, 2020
Muddling through
 
It is a beautiful morning here on 30th Street in Wheeling, West Virginia.  As I gaze out into the dense woods I could easily imagine that there is in the words of an old gospel song “No more pain. No More sorrow.” (sung by Linkin Park on the album “Minutes to Midnight”).   Of course, all I have to do is to check the internet to access stories of enormous pain and sorrow.  Wars, financial hardship, domestic violence, homelessness, sex trafficking, flue and covid-19, corruption scandals, fires, floods and a host of other events remind us that humans and mother nature continue to responsible for a lot of pain and sorrow. In the United States and some other countries, politicians have a lot to say about the cause of this pain and sorrow.   Statistics which support particular points of view are thrown out as facts. For example, one person told me recently that statistics prove that more people die from flue than from covid-19.   Covid-19 is mostly hype. Yet, I cannot find any statistics which come close to supporting that argument.
 
In the bubble of 136 30th Street I am challenged to use the gift of this quiet space to contemplate my life dance for this week.  Who will be my guides and heroes?  One of my long-time friends recently challenged me in an email by stating “You muddle through always getting in the way of people who really know how to make grandiose plans to really help folks. You waste your time trying to be like Jesus and Buddha and other notable do-gooders and never get anything done.”
 
It is certainly true that I have never done anything of such magnitude that, unlike some of the actions of my friends, changes the direction of the lives of large numbers of individuals.  I have never earned or been awarded public accolades for the work I do as a community member or in the small office where I work for/with individuals and families.  I do what millions of other health care workers do as well as I do.  I certainly do not leave footprints on the hearts of people as did Jesus, Buddha or many others.  There are teaches and social workers I know who daily leave the hope and skills for a richer life with those for/with whom they work.  There are people whose work has a positive effect on thousands if not millions.
 
Yes, it is true that I muddle my way through each day attempting to articulate the questions we must ask if we humans are to more fully embrace our humanness; if are to return ourselves to ourselves and thus to our important but minute roles in the rebalancing of the universe.
 
Do I get in the way of the folks who “really know how to make grandiose plans to really help folks.”?  Possibly. I have not moved any mountains or done anything which countless others do as well or better than I. I do not come close to possessing the strength of love that Jesus, Buddha and many others exhibited or exhibit. 
 
I suppose muddling along is all I know to do.
 
I am grateful for my friend who sent the email. One of his many gifts is to challenge me to practice what the 12-step program calls the HOW of the program – honestly, open mindedness and willingness.    He does so with much love for which I am enormously grateful.
 
What will be the form and nature of my muddling this week?
 
Written October 18, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org