Step 2 of the 12 step AA program is:
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
The great paradox of life for many of us is that at the time when our mind is working least well, at a time when our actual brain is not able to conjure up a logical thought because of the effects of alcohol, other drugs, beliefs which we have practiced telling ourselves often for a long time, at a time when we often cannot tell a logical thought from an illogical thought; at a time, in other words, when our thinking fits the definition of insanity we are to make a sane decision to admit to our insanity and then to believe that some power can restore us to sanity.
Perhaps we first need to clarify what we mean by insanity. A often quoted definition is: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”. If one goggles this definition one will find that sometimes this definition is attributed to Albert Einstein and other times it is attributed to someone else. I can find no concrete evidence that anyone really knows who first coined this definition. The fact is, however, that it is a definition which often makes sense to a great many people. Certainly in the case of harmful behavior such as addiction, trying to “fix” another person such as an unhealthy partner, or trying over and over again to make something work which clearly is not designed to work is indeed insane.
One could, of course, use the legal definition of insanity. The legaldictionary.com defines insanity as: "A defendant is insane within the meaning of the law if, at the time of the alleged criminal conduct, as a result of mental disease or defect, he lacked substantial capacity to conform his conduct to the requirements of the law or to appreciate the wrongfulness of his conduct." Each state in the United States and each country in the universe may have a slightly different legal definition of insanity, but it always involves, to some degree, the inability to change his or her behavior to conform to the requirement of the law or the inability to appreciate the insanity of his or her insanity. Often, in the case of addiction to alcohol, other drugs, sex, or other substances or behavior one knows that one’s behavior is insane but the power of the addiction is so powerful that one is unable to make a different choice.
Yet, something has to happen to force the individual to accept:
· The insanity of his or her behavior
· The inability to make a more rational choice by themselves.
· The possibility, however remote it may seem, that something or someone can help restore one to sanity.
As we will see in the original 12step program, Alcoholic Anonymous, this power is, in Step 3, referred to the God of our understanding. Using the term God presents its own set of issues for many people. I will discuss this issue in the discussion of step 3. For the purposes of step 2, it is enough to accept the possibility that something or someone can restore help us begin to make more behavioral choices which leads to different results than the seemingly self-imposed, self-destructiveness of relying just on the information or the sequence of synapse connections in our brain.
Recently, I was reading a Pat Conroy novel where an individual was deciding to attend a military academy or college where one agrees to subject oneself to the complete authority of the upper classmen and women and the staff of that institution. I can certainly attest to the fact that once one has agreed or been coerced to attending such an institution, one is not allowed to make any decision or to publicly hold an opinion which is different than that of those in charge. The decision to attend such an institution could certainly be considered “coming to believe that a power greater than oneself can restore one to sanity” except in this case, it may be assumed that one possessed no logical thought prior to being told what is logical or sane. To a lesser extent, the same is true of anyone who becomes a member of the military service. There are those individuals who have willingly or unwilling agreed to subject themselves to this sort of higher authority! It may be pure fear which directs their behavior but, at least temporarily, and, at times, for life, one’s thinking does change.
At any rate, either out of desperation or because one has witnessed a change in someone’s behavior, one decides to trust something or someone outside for help in exploring a different thinking process.
Many individuals I have known come to realize that their unhappiness in their job or profession is adversely affecting the life and health of their family even though they have told themselves they are doing this work for their family. They come home every night angry and depressed. They and their families are miserable. Yet, they cannot think their way into a new option. They have to reach outside of themselves. They take the risk of that some person or agency who specializes in such situations can help them or they ask their pastor to pray with them or they begin to read a book or ... The point is that they take the risk of believing that there might be a better way to live their best thinking telling them that they are trapped.
Daily I am faced with admitting that I do not know an answer and if I insist on relying on my own thinking the results are not going to be attractive. The issue may be admitting I need to ask for directions or that I cannot repair something in the house myself. More than once I have, without any expertise, tackled a project only to make the problem worse than it was in the beginning. My thinking that I can, without knowledge or skill, do some complicated project is insane!
In Step 3 we will further explore how to go about deciding who or what to ask for help, but we cannot do that until we decide that what we are doing is not working and that we are willing to take the risk to looking outside of ourselves and our current skills.
Soren Krkengaard, the Danish Christian philosopher and theologian, and others have talked about the leap of faith. This is step 2 – that leap of faith that help is available; that it is okay to ask for help.
Written September 8, 2015
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