Two brains of Wayne
Those who regularly read this blog are very familiar with my six-year old adopted niece Sam who lives next door. Usually her visits are restricted to the weekends, but occasionally she makes a week day visit for a few minutes before she has to get on the school bus. Usually, a weekday visit is because she wants to share something really exciting or because she is worried and confused. I never know which it is going to be until I see her face. Then I immediately know which it is. This morning is a bright, nearly cloudless day allowing me to clearly see Sam’s face before she got to me door. It was a very sad and confused face.
Me: Good morning Sam. Are you sad this morning?
Sam: Oh yes, Uncle Jim. I am very sad.
Me: I am sorry. What is making you so sad Sam? Come on in and we will make some hot chocolate and talk.
Sam: Sniff….. Thanks Uncle Jim.
Sam comes in and sits in the chair which is reserved just for her. I start to fix the hot chocolate. I had already put the milk in the pan when I saw that she was on her way over.
Sam: Uncle Jim, you know my friends Tommy and Eldon?
Me: Yes, there are really nice boys. They live across the street. Sometimes you and I have them over to share cookies we just made.
Sam: Yes. I like it when they get all excited about our cookies.
Me: Are Tommy and Eldon okay? (I place the hot chocolate in front of her.)
Sam: Kinda. You know their dad Wayne.
Me: Yes. He is really nice. He was sick for some time
Sam: Well, Uncle Jim, I think that he is sick again. He is saying mean things to Jenny his wife and the boys just like he used to say. This morning he called Jenny stupid and told the boys to shut the F up. You know what I mean by F Uncle Jim?
Me: Yes, I know what you mean. Wayne has not talked that way to Jenny and the boys for a long time.
Sam: If he is sick why doesn’t he go to the doctor Uncle Jim.
Me: Sam, you remember when we talked about some sickness makes our brain say mean things or things we would not say if we were well.
Sam: Yes. I remember when Mr. Wayne went away for a long time. When he came back he was really nice again. Until recently he was still really nice. Now he is mean again.
Me: Do you think that Wayne has the same sickness again?
Sam: I think so. I don’t like it when he is mean.
Me: I know. I do not like it either.
Sam: Should we tell him to go to see the doctor again? Maybe you could talk to him Uncle Jim.
Me: I will try but when his mind is sick he may get angry at me also.
Sam: Why is his mind sick again Uncle Jim? Is it like me getting another cold?
Me: In some ways Sam. It is easy to quit washing our hands or staying away from people who have a cold. As you know, we both got colds last year even though we tried to be really careful.
Sam; You mean that Mr. Wayne is going to keep getting sick no matter what he does to take care of himself.
Me: Well, in this case I happen to know that he quit taking care of himself some time ago. Remember that he used to go to meetings with friends and we used to see him with Mr. Richard who helped him?
Sam: Oh yeah! I forgot about Mr. Richard. He was very nice. I think Mr. Wayne called him his pursor or something. That does not sound right but I cannot remember what he said Uncle Jim.
Me: Mr. Wayne called him his sponsor. He helped Mr. Wayne with learning new exercises for his brain. You know when you go to school you practice some new words, writing, or math? Those are exercises for your brain. If you quit exercising your brain you would begin to hate school and feel bad around your brothers and sisters because you would feel dumb at school and at home.
Sam: (Sigh!) I know. If I skip my homework I start to get bad grades and then other kids tease me about being dumb. I hate that.
Me: Yes. It is a terrible feeling. Well, I think that Mr. Wayne quit exercising his brain and it is not working well. Now his brain may be telling him to do things he used to do which hurt him and his family.
Sam: What can we do? Can’t we just tell him to start exercising his brain again?
Me: I wish it was that simple but it is not. You know what happens when I or your parents won’t let you have any more candy. Sometimes you get mad and say mean things.
Sam: (looking sheepish) Sometimes I sneak and do it anyway. Then, later, I get grumpy and you know that I ate too much candy. You always know!
Me: Yes. It is like this other person takes over your body and the sweet, smart Sam is gone on vacation!
Sam: I am not nice then!
Me: No, Sam is gone! I think that Mr. Wayne is gone.
Sam: Because he is eating too much candy.
Me: Sort of. It is not candy, but it is similar. It affects the brain the same way that sugar affects your brain but only worse. It is very dangerous.
Sam: Can’t we just tell him to stop?
Me: Sam. Do you always listen when I tell you to stop?
Sam: Well, no because then all I can think about is how much I want candy.
Me: Yes. I think, for now, we need to stay away from Mr. Wayne I will talk to Mrs. Jenny and tell her anytime the boys or she need to come over it is okay.
Sam: That is nice Uncle Jim. What can we do for Mr. Wayne.
Me: I think the best we can do is to pray for him. You know that we talk about who we want to remember in our prayers. Do you think you can pray for Mr. Wayne and his family tonight?
Sam: Yes. Do you think God will listen?
Me: Yes. I think God will listen but I do not know if Mr. Wayne is ready to listen to God yet. I hope so.
Sam: Oh! There is the school bus Uncle Jim. Love you.
Sam quickly gives Uncle Jim a hug and a kiss on the forehead before running to catch the bus. Just in time Uncle Jim notices she has left her backpack on the floor by the chair. He runs to try to catch the bus before the driver takes off.
Written September 30, 2015
Those who regularly read this blog are very familiar with my six-year old adopted niece Sam who lives next door. Usually her visits are restricted to the weekends, but occasionally she makes a week day visit for a few minutes before she has to get on the school bus. Usually, a weekday visit is because she wants to share something really exciting or because she is worried and confused. I never know which it is going to be until I see her face. Then I immediately know which it is. This morning is a bright, nearly cloudless day allowing me to clearly see Sam’s face before she got to me door. It was a very sad and confused face.
Me: Good morning Sam. Are you sad this morning?
Sam: Oh yes, Uncle Jim. I am very sad.
Me: I am sorry. What is making you so sad Sam? Come on in and we will make some hot chocolate and talk.
Sam: Sniff….. Thanks Uncle Jim.
Sam comes in and sits in the chair which is reserved just for her. I start to fix the hot chocolate. I had already put the milk in the pan when I saw that she was on her way over.
Sam: Uncle Jim, you know my friends Tommy and Eldon?
Me: Yes, there are really nice boys. They live across the street. Sometimes you and I have them over to share cookies we just made.
Sam: Yes. I like it when they get all excited about our cookies.
Me: Are Tommy and Eldon okay? (I place the hot chocolate in front of her.)
Sam: Kinda. You know their dad Wayne.
Me: Yes. He is really nice. He was sick for some time
Sam: Well, Uncle Jim, I think that he is sick again. He is saying mean things to Jenny his wife and the boys just like he used to say. This morning he called Jenny stupid and told the boys to shut the F up. You know what I mean by F Uncle Jim?
Me: Yes, I know what you mean. Wayne has not talked that way to Jenny and the boys for a long time.
Sam: If he is sick why doesn’t he go to the doctor Uncle Jim.
Me: Sam, you remember when we talked about some sickness makes our brain say mean things or things we would not say if we were well.
Sam: Yes. I remember when Mr. Wayne went away for a long time. When he came back he was really nice again. Until recently he was still really nice. Now he is mean again.
Me: Do you think that Wayne has the same sickness again?
Sam: I think so. I don’t like it when he is mean.
Me: I know. I do not like it either.
Sam: Should we tell him to go to see the doctor again? Maybe you could talk to him Uncle Jim.
Me: I will try but when his mind is sick he may get angry at me also.
Sam: Why is his mind sick again Uncle Jim? Is it like me getting another cold?
Me: In some ways Sam. It is easy to quit washing our hands or staying away from people who have a cold. As you know, we both got colds last year even though we tried to be really careful.
Sam; You mean that Mr. Wayne is going to keep getting sick no matter what he does to take care of himself.
Me: Well, in this case I happen to know that he quit taking care of himself some time ago. Remember that he used to go to meetings with friends and we used to see him with Mr. Richard who helped him?
Sam: Oh yeah! I forgot about Mr. Richard. He was very nice. I think Mr. Wayne called him his pursor or something. That does not sound right but I cannot remember what he said Uncle Jim.
Me: Mr. Wayne called him his sponsor. He helped Mr. Wayne with learning new exercises for his brain. You know when you go to school you practice some new words, writing, or math? Those are exercises for your brain. If you quit exercising your brain you would begin to hate school and feel bad around your brothers and sisters because you would feel dumb at school and at home.
Sam: (Sigh!) I know. If I skip my homework I start to get bad grades and then other kids tease me about being dumb. I hate that.
Me: Yes. It is a terrible feeling. Well, I think that Mr. Wayne quit exercising his brain and it is not working well. Now his brain may be telling him to do things he used to do which hurt him and his family.
Sam: What can we do? Can’t we just tell him to start exercising his brain again?
Me: I wish it was that simple but it is not. You know what happens when I or your parents won’t let you have any more candy. Sometimes you get mad and say mean things.
Sam: (looking sheepish) Sometimes I sneak and do it anyway. Then, later, I get grumpy and you know that I ate too much candy. You always know!
Me: Yes. It is like this other person takes over your body and the sweet, smart Sam is gone on vacation!
Sam: I am not nice then!
Me: No, Sam is gone! I think that Mr. Wayne is gone.
Sam: Because he is eating too much candy.
Me: Sort of. It is not candy, but it is similar. It affects the brain the same way that sugar affects your brain but only worse. It is very dangerous.
Sam: Can’t we just tell him to stop?
Me: Sam. Do you always listen when I tell you to stop?
Sam: Well, no because then all I can think about is how much I want candy.
Me: Yes. I think, for now, we need to stay away from Mr. Wayne I will talk to Mrs. Jenny and tell her anytime the boys or she need to come over it is okay.
Sam: That is nice Uncle Jim. What can we do for Mr. Wayne.
Me: I think the best we can do is to pray for him. You know that we talk about who we want to remember in our prayers. Do you think you can pray for Mr. Wayne and his family tonight?
Sam: Yes. Do you think God will listen?
Me: Yes. I think God will listen but I do not know if Mr. Wayne is ready to listen to God yet. I hope so.
Sam: Oh! There is the school bus Uncle Jim. Love you.
Sam quickly gives Uncle Jim a hug and a kiss on the forehead before running to catch the bus. Just in time Uncle Jim notices she has left her backpack on the floor by the chair. He runs to try to catch the bus before the driver takes off.
Written September 30, 2015
RSS Feed