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Sunday Musings - October 7, 2018

10/7/2018

Sunday Musings – October 7, 2018

It has been another busy week here in my little corner of the world, nationally and internationally. There have been many reminders of the people, places and events over which I have no control.    On the other hand, I am acutely aware that I do have control over how I treat myself, others and mother earth today. Yesterday I spent 4 hours in a workshop entitled The Art of the Breath taught by the Mind-Body teacher Mark Taylor.   As always, when I study with him, I am reminded of the interconnectedness and intraconnecteness of the human body. When there are no obvious symptoms of malfunction it is easy to take it for granted. On the other hand, one could be so protective of it that one did not live life to the fullest.

Later in the day I joined other friends for dinner at the home of two friends to celebrate birthdays of several in this small circle. Good food, lots of laughter and little tokens of friendships were shared.   This afternoon I will again travel to Pittsburgh to join a friend at a performance of the Pittsburg Symphony Orchestra.   By tomorrow morning, I will be ready to connect with a larger world. While I have been filling my emotional, spiritual and physical gas tanks, much of the world has been struggling with basic survival. Wars, disease including addictions, acts of mother nature and fierce and passionate political battles will have occupied the attention and consumed the energy of much of the world.    Here in the United States the slinging of hurtful and often arrogant words has continued across the proverbial aisles. In Venezuela, today some of the residents will vote to elect the person who will lead the county towards healing or further destruction.

Alice Walker has a new book of poems offering hope where it might seem others find no good news.

I was at funeral homes more than once or twice this week to celebrate lives lost to addiction or other diseases.   New life also arrived this week. Perhaps the new generation will do a better job of creating a more loving and just world. Perhaps not.   They will inherit the positive and negative consequences of all we do today.

On this Sunday morning, I will gather all the pieces of the previous week, set some aside some, prioritize others for my attention, and gratefully enjoy still others.   This is what we are called to do – to show up to what is; to show up to all the messiness, joys, simplicity, and complexities of this brief journey.

Written October 7, 2018

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"Same kind of different as me."

10/5/2018

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“Same kind of different as me”

This is the name of a movie based on the book Same Kind of Different as me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together by Ron Hall and Denver Moore with Lynn Vincent.    It tells the story of a woman who believed in the seeming unlovable, her husband and the man she loved until he could return himself to himself. Following her death, Mr. Hall and Mr. Moore began raising money for the homeless and have, by one account I read, raised more than 85 million dollars.

At the end of the movie, Denver, the once violent sharecropper who spent a lot of his life in jail, delivers the Eulogy. In that eulogy, he says:

“I never met Ms. Debbie. Ms. Debbie met me….Sure ain’t done nothing to be proud of…I was not nice…I used to spend a lot of time thinking I was different than other people…I worried I was so different from them that we were never going to have no common future. What I found out was, everybody is different. Same kind of different as me… Ms. Debbie Is a whole kind of different….Whether we are rich or whether we are poor or something in between we are all homeless just working our way back home.”

In one of his books about his ministry to those who have been surviving as best they could in the grips of the life of Los Angeles gangs, Father Gregory Boyle talks of returning them to themselves while they, in turn, return him to himself. I suspect he would easily identify with the description of these men and women as “Same kind of different as me.”    I further suspect that is the definition of true empathy; that ability to see, trust and know that everyone is “the same kind of different as me”.

I am well aware that there are those whose brain is so damaged by physical, mental or spiritual damage that they may never be able to be returned to themselves.   This could be any of us. As Barbara Lipska experience reminds us in The Neuroscientist Who Lost her Mind: My Tale of Madness and Recovery any of us could lose our ability to act in a way which is consistent with what we think of as moral or sane.   Fortunately, treatment took away the power of the tumors which were controlling how her mind worked and she was able to return to herself. Not every “dis ease” of the mind is treatable. Often, we decide that the Denver Moore’s of the world cannot be returned to themselves and then a miracle occurs.   Daily I hear and see these miracles. Those with addiction disorders, other mental illnesses or some combination of illnesses are healed and claim their common future with us. If one, for examples, attends a lead meeting at a 12-step program or downloads one of the apps which deliver recordings of lead meetings, one is likely to hear of horrific crimes again self and others, multiple years in jail, and other symptoms of a life which is without dignity restored to a life of loving and being loved; a life of working, raising children, and helping others; a life of community building instead of community destruction.   These are metamorphic miracles. We are all metamorphic miracles.

Many who are raised in a religion which uses the book known as The Bible – the Old and New Testament – will have heard passages from both Isaiah 53:6 and Romans 3:23:
Isaiah 53:6 “We all, like sheep, have gone astray.”
Romans 3:23 “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

However, we say or frame it, the existential truth is that the core of who we are can be buried beneath addiction, the pain of trauma, medical issues, other mental illness or the internalized messages that we are indeed nothing, but throw-a-ways. Yet, that core is there and uncovered will reveal that everyone is “Same kind of different as me.” and “We are all homeless just working our way home”.

Written October 5, 2018

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What if?

10/4/2018

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What if?

Yesterday I talked about the consequences of each decision we make. Later in the day I got the October assignment from the leader of the writing circle. The assignment was to write on “What if?”. Sometimes I get multiple reminders of the same spiritual lessons.

My marriage to my son’s mother ended after nearly eight years of marriage. Some of those eight years were wonderful and some were miserable for both of us. At times, attempting to create a home which felt safe and nurturing to both of us seemed as difficult as negotiating a peace treaty between Palestine and Israel. We seemed too often take turns sabotaging the effort of the other. Yet, as is true for Palestine and Israel, I would not, if I could, delete that marriage from my story. That marriage was responsible for a host on ongoing blessings, chief among them is our loving, delightful, bright, creative son. There were many others. We each introduced each other to experiences which have continued to enrich our respective life journeys. She, for example, introduced me to the world of classical music, museums, art, and cuisine which traveled far beyond the basics which kept my family of origin alive. This new experiences surpassed those occasional treats my siblings and I savored at the homes of some of our wealthier relatives (Wealthy meaning the absence of existential angst at every meal.)

After high school the only option seemed to be to join the military since there was no money for college and everyone assumed I would not go even if that had been an option. The service led to an assignment in Washington, DC which led to being assigned to Captain Berthrong which led to me attending the U. S. Naval Academy which led me to Annapolis which led me back to the Washington area which led me to a certain church which led me to my future wife which led me back to school which led me to graduate school which led to……. Eventually these chains of events led me to New Jersey, Maryland, Virginia, Alaska, Oregon, California, Indiana, Pennsylvania, West Virginia to my second wife whose journey from the refugee camps of WWII had eventually led her to Wheeling, WV which led to, which led to, which led to, which led to….

The paradox is changing one positive or negative decision or event would change all of history for me and the rest of the universe. We are, after all, that intricately connected to each other; each of us triggering a chain of actions which triggers a series of new chains.

Obviously, my decisions are, in part, responsible for the current president of the United states, the terrible wars in much of the world, and, of course, all the positive, life giving events of the world!

Change one action and I would not be a part of the writing circle and, thus, would not be writing these words.

What if I had no regrets? What if each moment of my journey has been needed to weave this amazing quilt; this coat of many colors which covers the mountains, the streams, the plains and each of us?

With each decision, we each add an accessory to this costume in which we dance; another square to this quilt we call our life journey.

Written October 4, 2018

562 words

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The Road Traveled

10/3/2018

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The Road Traveled

For some reason, the phrase “The Road Less Traveled” popped into my conscious mind this morning. I am not sure whether something triggered the memory of the Robert Frost Poem the Road Not Taken which begins: “Two roads diverged in a yellow road, and sorry I would not travel both…’ or the M. Scott Peck book The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth.    It does not really matter. Both remind me that daily I make many decisions which will affect me and all the lives I touch or fail to touch.   Often it does not even feel as if I am making a decision. Perhaps my only decision is to allow habit or routine to take over.   This morning I was talking to a friend who is on a spiritual journey. We discussed how past experiences and habits can affect the decisions we make today which may, in turn, affect the decision we will make tomorrow.

Today I can choose to either visit and give power to the old messages and habits in my head or be very intentional about making new choices about how I spend my emotional, physical, mental and spiritual energy.   I am again reminded of the six degrees of separation.   I know, for example, that if I am intentional about greeting the person who checks people in at the gym (and fold towels- many towels) with a smile that she is more likely to pass a smile along to every person she greets today. I have no idea of how many people she greets but suppose it is 150 people. Let’s then suppose those 150 people pass a smile along to at least 10 people. Then suppose those 15000 people pass along a smile to 10 more people which brings us to 1500 people. The six degree of separation principle is that there is only six people which separate every person in the world.   Out of those 1500 people there are going to be some who are in powerful leadership positions. Jan, the person at the front desk of the gym is in a positive mood most days even before I greet her, but if enough people share a frown instead of a smile she may find it difficult to hold on to her smile. Let’s suppose that just one of those people to whom she passes along the smile was thinking of giving up and allowing someone else to raise their children. The person who might raise their children would leave their imprint – positive and/or negative –which might, in turn, affect how those children thought about themselves and others. Every life those children touch will be positively or negatively affected. Every person Jan touches with a smile will likely touch at least one and possibly many other lives that day.

Assuming one’s brain is working well and not malfunctioning because of some illness or injury, one has the choice today to decide which road to take. The easiest road is the one we habitually travel. That may or may not be a positive choice. Not allowing the emotion de jour or habit to make one’s choice of roads or directions may be very challenging. One may need to reach out for support in taking the road which will long term have the possibility of a long term positive outcome.

The last two lines of the Robert Frost poem are:

                  I took the one less traveled by,
                  And that has made all the difference.

Written October 3, 2018

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The Wizard is ever present

10/1/2018

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The Wizard is ever present

Yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing a production of the play, The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett as adapted by Jessica swale at the Little Lake Theater in Bethel Park, Pa. It was directed by Mary Meyer and features some amazing actors, several of whom are as young as 6th grade students as well as some who, shall we say, more mature.

While chatting with Jenny Malarkey, the children’s theater manager I remarked that:

The play was obviously well done as the many young children in the audience were very quiet throughout the performance.
Both the adult and the youth characters in the play are reminded during the course of the play that they have what they need to heal and to pursue a life of meaning.

I was, once again, reminded of another story allegedly written for young people, The Wizard of Oz. I have always appreciated the story for the Wizard’s poignant reminder that we have what we need to move on with/to a meaningful life. Dorothy has merely to click her heels to return to Kansas. Mr. Scarecrow has a brain. Mr. Lion has courage. Mr. Tin Man has a heart.

As children, we often seem to have an intuitive knowledge of what is important and true, unless, of course, our brain and/or soul is stolen by a medical condition such as mental illness, some other Illness or early acute trauma. Perhaps this is why wise teachers such as Jesus tells us that unless we become as little children we shall not be wise or see what some call ‘the Kingdom of God”. Of course, there are facts we need to learn whether that be that fire burns, the language of music and math can serve us well, the power of words, or how to use materials to create. Very young children seem to know who to trust, what makes sense or what constructs such as hate and the many ways we create the us and them games do not make sense.

It seems much of adulthood is unlearning the lies we have learned about ourselves and the world; the lies which keep us from celebrating our shared humanness.

Children need teachers who teach them certain scientific “facts” (as we currently understand them) while encouraging them to:

Break all the rules.
Color/paint outside the lines.
Explore the music of dissonant notes.
Love all, but especially those who are labeled as unlovable.
Pay attention to the negative space.
Dance as if rooted to the center of the universe and attached to an enormous balloon.
Always use the null hypothecs.
Be attached to nothing – always stay open to challenges and amazing discoveries.

Thanks to all those such as the staff of the programs at Little Lake who create the stage for claiming our best and wisest selves.

Written October 1, 2018
Jimmy F. Pickett, Daily blog published on facebook (Jimmy Pickett) and the web site, coachpickett.org

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Sunday Musings - October 7, 2018

"Same kind of different as me."

What if?

The Road Traveled

The Wizard is ever present

Jimmy Pickett is a life student who happens to be a licensed counselor and an addiction counselor. He is a student of Buddhism with a background of Christianity and a Native American heritage.

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