Eternal Sex
 
Recently the Mormon Church codified the rule about what and when children are to be blessed and later baptized. Traditionally in the Mormon Church, children can be blessed as infants and baptized at about the age of 8. Blessing and later baptism is an act, which Mormons believe, is a covenant with God and essential for salvation.  Although the Mormon Church has long believed that the God of their understanding prohibits same-sex union, in recently years it seemed as if there might be some softening of their understanding and acceptance of same sex union.     On Friday, November 6, 2015, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints announced a new policy stating that children living in a same-sex household may not be blessed as babies or baptized until they are 18. (“Discipline eschewed; couples deem apostates” by Sarah Pulliam Bailey in The Washington Post).
 
According to the new rules, children living with it sex parents:
·      Can no longer receive blessings as infants or be baptized around age 8. They can be baptized and serve missions once they turn 18, but only if they:

o   Disavow the practice of same-sex relationships.

o   No longer live with gay parents

o   Get approval from their local leader and the highest leaders at church headquarters in Salt Lake City.

(Brady Mccomb, Associated Press, “Thater worries kids will have to choose him or the church.” Printed in St. Petersburg edition of the Tampa Tribune, November 8, 2015)
 
We know that Mormons believe that one can be sealed together as a family and live together eternally.  So even if a child denounces his or her parents’  sexual relationship, what happens to them in eternity? Obviously, they do not have a seal with the same-sex parent or parents.  The possibilities seem to be:
 
·      Be an orphan in eternity while others live in families – not much different than some children in this life journey.

·      If there is a heterosexual egg donor or sperm donor who is a member in good standing with the Mormon church, when they end their life journey, one can track down this egg donor or sperm donor and ask to join their eternal, heterosexual family. This would presume that there is an entrepreneurial start-up company (or perhaps an old established one) which specializes in DNA test matches. Of course, we must also presume that there is a Mormon computer geek who has programmed such a system in eternity.  One might wonder then if the computer geek has to be Mormon and if the computer itself is only allowed to communicate with opposite-sex computers. Of course, in the latter case, the union would need to be blessed. We know that polygamy has been deemed illegal in the Mormon Church.

·      The orphan is allowed to connect with another orphan who has denounced their same-sex parents and to form a new family which will exist eternally.

 
It is exciting to think that families are eternal.   Knowing this, my inquisitive mind just automatically conjures up other questions:
 
·      In eternity, is one restored to one’s previous sexual potency – say that of teenage year for the male and a bit older for the female?

·      Is Viagra-type drug prescriptions for males and females standard issue as soon as one arrives or is it just automatically added to the adult versus children’s water fountains?

·      Is sex now considered purely recreational or can one enlarge one’s family in eternity?

·      If one can enlarge one’s family in eternity,  is it possible for there to be GLBT children?

·      If there is a GLBT child, what happens to it? Since it has heterosexual parents can it be blessed and later baptized?

 
Of course, there are other questions, which need to be addressed by the wise, compassionate leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. These include:
·      If one is married and living with an opposite sex person in this life journey but is only attracted to people of the same sex, how do the church leaders determine what children to bless or be baptized?

·      Is lying about one sexual orientation pleasing to God?

·      Is living asexually more pleasing to God than loving another of the same sex?

·      Is there a sexual fantasy monitor available? Who decides whose fantasies need to be monitored?

·      Who gets the job of monitoring?

·      What happens if the monitor is turned on in the course of his or her job?

·      If the monitor detects same sex fantasies can they then test the person having immoral fantasies by using the same techniques formerly used in this country by law enforcement?  (One of the techniques used was the use of an iridescent dye, which was applied to the penis of the law enforcement person. The law enforcement person then had oral sex performed on him. The person offering this service was then identified by the dye on his lips and arrested. The poor law enforcement officer went home to his spouse exhausted from having to endue oral sex several times in a day. Bless them.) I am not sure how females were entrapped but given sexism perhaps they were just ignored as not important.

 
Clearly this new, clearer policy will now allow the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to expand the rules to cover these and other possibilities ensuring that the neighborhood in their eternal home is free of “those” people who obviously should be assigned the hard labor task of building the heavenly tracks which will keep the boundaries of the neighborhood clear.
 
 
Written November 8, 2015

Weeping and Laughing in Public Places
 
It is Saturday morning, November 7.   My new habit has become to download the last most recent podcast of Krista Tibbett’s On Being on Saturday and listen to it for the first time while I am working out at the gym at 6:00 a.m. (No, sadly I was not up all night partying. Oh well!).  This week she is having a conversation with Adam Gopnik.  “Adam Gopnik has been a staff writer, essayist, and commentator at The New Yorker since 1986. In addition to Paris to the Moon, he’s authored a number of books for children and adults, including the wonderful volume Angels and Ages: A Short Book About Darwin, Lincoln, and Modern Life.”
 
Mr. Gopnik shared:  “On my mother’s side of the family, I came from a long line of rabbis. That background, the rabbinical background, was very strong in my life. At the same time, my parents, by the standard turns and twists of generations, rejected the religious content of their own upbringing.”
 
During the course of the conversation he shared a lot more about himself including the fact that he is married,  is the devoted father of two children, is a cook and loves food, and although not a “believer,” he attends Christmas service with his wife who practices the Lutheran Christian faith, sits in the back and weeps during the service. He also has a powerful sense of the contradictions and ironies of  life in general and of all religious traditions including the God of the old testament, the Jesus of the New Testament, and the Buddha  of the Buddhist philosophy/practice/belief.
 
As is true for all of us, my brain is filled with its own contractions, prejudices, and biases.  As much and as often as I admonish all of us to think outside the box, one of the many boxes in my wee brain is the Jewish one.  In my Jewish box, the spiritual Jew laughs often, has a twinkle in his/her eye, and weeps prodigiously.   They also, as is true for my friend Fred, love to eat.  (When I lived in the Squirrel Hill section of Pittsburgh there were many Jewish bakeries.  When Fred visited he would visit  and sample something from every one.)  In fact, the Jewish people who live in my Box (including my Rabbi friend Beth and the Rabbi she followed) are passionate about all of life. If they think that a violent response to the Palestinians is necessary,  they  think that with a level passion which, if captured, could power a rocket to Mars.  If they think that a pacifist response is necessary, the same passion is present.  There is none of what Mr. Gopnik would call “wishy washy, limp” about the wonderful Jewish folks who inhabit that box in my brain.
 
Of course, being the biased man that I am, I am attracted to many of those who visit Mrs. Tibbett on the show “On Being.”   In fact at least two or three times a month I fall heads over heels  in love with the guest. It may or may not be a guest with whom I have had some knowledge of and or even passion for prior to his or her appearance on the show.  Mr. Gopnik is no exception.  For heaves sake, what is not to love.  He is passionate about learning, life, his wife, words, his children, food, music, and his emotions. He weeps  and, I am sure, laughs in public at terribly inappropriate times.  He revels in the ironies and contractions of we humans and the Gods or other sacred beings that we posit.   He is quietly dedicated to his “liberalism” while embracing the sanity of tradition. 
 
Of course, the fact that I am, once again, falling in love with a person who touches all those passionate places within me, while I am working out at the gym with all those tough men and women, leaves me  open to the “looks” and “head shaking” of those men and women.  Here I am alternately weeping and laughing, shaking my head in agreement, and  smiling as if I am ready to embrace and possibly share a Jewish kiss with the most macho of the men present.
 
What was I thinking?  I know to expect this sort of visceral reaction to one of Mrs. Tibbett’s guests.  I know soon I will be lost in the arms of the guests and will quickly morph from my manly (LOL) gym self into my most unashamedly emotive self.  If I do not want to share this self,  I  should be listening to a podcast of one of the very conservative thinkers. Perhaps there is an old Dick Cheney speech or a Donald Rumsfeld address to Congress that I could borrow.  Better yet, I might read the most recent biography of the elder President George H.W. Bush in which he is sharply critical of Mr. Cheney and Mr. Rumsfeld.  Well, that would not work either because it would trigger many emotions about such events as the civil rights struggle or our history of war making.
 
Obviously, it is not easy to maintain the illusion that I am a “mans man.”   Of course, at 5’5”, it is neigh impossible anyway. What the hell?  I will continue to weep in public places, appear as if I am having an orgasmic response when eating in a public place, and give in to the urge to break into song when out riding my bike or  running on the beach.  I will even continue to effusively hug those who hate being hugged – not to offend but because my emotions take over.   Neither will I resist the urge to write a thousand words about my new love affair with that peculiar life form, the human. Come to think of it, the love affair seems equally powerful with music, food, favorite rocks, fish, and sensual flowers. Oh well!   As ‘they say,’ “It is what it is.”
 
Written November 7, 2015

 
It is not unusual for my six-year-old adopted niece to stop by for a snack after school on Friday.  Thus, I mixed up her favorite chocolate chip cookie dough earlier in the day.   The dough was now chilled and ready to cut, roll into balls and go into the oven. 
I see her coming now.
 
Me:  Hi Sam!   How was school today?
 
Sam:  School was okay, but all of us were glad that it was Friday.
 
Me:  Do you have homework for the weekend?
 
Sam: Just a book I have to read and report on.
 
Me: Let me see the book.
 
Sam:  Here it is.  It is called “A Bad Case of Stripes.”
 
Me: Oh yes. I love that one.  A man by the name of David Shannon wrote that.  Do you know what it is about?
 
Sam:  The teacher, Mrs. Williams, said it is about how all of us are different.
 
Me:  Shall we get the cookies in the oven and let them bake while we talk?
 
Sam:   Let’s do.  I l o v e chocolate chip cookies!
 
Sam and I make 12 balls and carefully place them on the cookie sheet. I notice hers are quite a bit bigger than mine.
 
Me:  Great job Sam.  Let me put them in the oven and you can set the timer for 12 minutes. Do you remember how to do that?
 
Sam:  Yes.  Is this right Uncle Jim?
 
Me: Yes.  Now we just have to push the little bar on the bottom to start the timer. See how the number window starts to move right away.
 
Sam:  It counts really fast Uncle Jim
 
Me: Yes it does. 
 
Sam:  Uncle Jim, kids in Paul’s class were really upset today.
 
Me: How come Sam?
 
(Paul is Sam’s 12-year-old brother who is in the 6th grade)
 
Sam:   Paul said last night at dinner that some of the kids and their parents were upset because one of the boys is coming to school in a dress and wants to use the girls bathroom. He said the boy is dans something.
 
Me: Ahhh.   Did he perhaps say transgender?
 
Sam:  Yes, I think that is the word.  Transdenger
 
Me:  Close. Transgender.  Trans means across  and gender means whether someone is male or female.    So, transgender means that someone who is a boy feels more like a girl and someone who is a girl feels more like a boy.
 
Sam: Sometimes I feel like more of a boy.  Dad calls me a tomboy!  Am I transbender.
 
Me: No Sam, you are not transgender.   You like both boy and girl things, which is really good just like Paul, your brother, likes boy and girl things.
 
Sam:  Why are some things boy things and some things girl things?
 
Ding, ding goes the timer.
 
Sam:  Uncle Jim, the cookies are done! They smell so good.
 
Me: Let me take them out. We will let them cool a moment. In the meantime let’s roll up 12 more cookies.  Okay Sam?
 
Sam:  Okay Uncle Jim.
 
Me: Do you want a glass of milk with your cookies Sam?
 
Sam:  Yes, please.  Now can I have a cookie?
 
Me: Not quite yet. Get your glass and I will get the milk.
 
Sam: Here it is.
 
I pour milk and use the spatula to put a cookie on a plate.
 
Sam:  Oh.  It is still hot and the chocolate gets all over my fingers
 
Me:  And your mouth. Now you have a chocolate mouth and can give chocolate kisses!
 
Sam:  Uncle Jim, you are so silly!
 
Me: You were asking why some things are boy things and some things are girl things.  Well, Sam that is changing but most people used to think that girls took care of babies and the house and boys went to war and ran machines or were doctors.  There were always some girls who did boy things and girls who did boy things.  My Aunt Marie was a girl and she taught flying  a long time ago when most people thought that was a boy’s job.
 
Sam: That was silly.
 
Me:  Yes it was.  Sometime we will talk about why girls could cook and men could be chefs in expensive restaurants.
 
Sam: What is a chef Uncle Jim?
 
Me: That is a cook who makes a lot of money. It used to be that just boys were called chefs and girls were called cooks. Cooks got paid very little and chefs were paid a lot of money. There are a lot of other examples which we can talk about another time.
 
Me: Here goes another sheet of cookies. Do you want to set the timer again?
 
Sam:  Yes.
 
Me: Very good Sam. 
 
Sam: So neither Paul nor I are dandenger?
 
Me: No, I do not think that either you or Paul is transgender. At least neither of you has shared anything which indicates that to be the case.  A transgender girl feels like she is really a boy and a transgender boy feels as if he is really a girl.   Many will later even have surgery to make them more like the person that they feel that they are.
 
Sam: Surgery like cut.
 
Me: Well, yes, surgery sometimes requires cutting but the doctor in the hospital does it.
 
Sam: So some boy in Paul’s class wears a dress and wants to use the girl’s bathroom.  Most of the kids did not care but the teachers got really upset and then some of the kids got upset.
 
Me:  Really?   Why do you think that they got upset?
 
Sam:  I don’t know Uncle Jim. Everyone goes into little rooms in the bathroom. 
 
Me:  I think that the little rooms are called stalls Sam.
 
Sam: Oh yes.  Now I remember.  But why were the teachers so upset?
 
Me:  I don’t know Sam, but I think that some people are more comfortable when everything seems to stay the same.  They think that they know what to expect.
 
Sam:  Like I know we will have cookies on Friday.
 
Me: Well, yes, but you know that sometimes we make a fruit salad or we make a pie. Remember how much fun we had using the apple peeler to make the apple pie? You were also really good with rolling out the crust.
 
Sam: And the pie was so good. 
 
Me:  Y yes it was. It was a good thing that there was plenty to share with Paul and your parents.
 
Sam:  Yes, they really liked it.
 
Ding.  Ding.
 
Sam:  Time to take out the cookies Uncle Jim
 
Me: Yes. Let me take them out and set them on the rack to cool.
 
Sam:  So if Paul thought he was supposed to be a girl or I thought I was supposed to be a boy you would not care Uncle Jim?
 
Me: No, your parents and I would be fine. Grandma, Grandpa, Mamma and Pop Pa might have a tough time, but I think they would be fine once they got used to the idea.
 
Sam: I would feel funny going into the boy’s bathroom. 
 
Me:  What would make you feel funny?
 
Sam: I would be afraid that they would make fun of me.
 
Me:  Yes, sometimes when we are different other kids or adults do make fun of us.   I wonder if the book, “A Bad Case of Stripes” will help us. Shall we read it tomorrow Sam?  We have talked about the fear previously Sam. Should we allow the fear to stop us from doing things?
 
Sam:  I don’t think so Uncle Jim, but I don’t like it when kids made fun of me.
 
Me:  I know. It does not feel good.  We will talk more about that again when we read the book tomorrow Sam.
 
Sam:  Okay.
 
Me: Here, let’s put the rest of the cookies in the bag so that you can take them to share with Paul and your parents.
 
Sam:  Tansdenger?  I am having a difficult with that word Uncle Jim.
 
Me: That is okay. It is transgender.
 
Sam: Can we talk more about this another time Uncle Jim?
 
Me: Yes we can.  Of course,  Paul can join us if he likes.
 
Sam:  Paul invited the boy to our house to play tomorrow. His name is Tom but he likes to be called Tomadella or?
 
Me:  Perhaps Tomacella?
 
Sam: I think that is it.   Could I just change my name to Princess?
 
Me:  You are a princess, but I think in school the teacher is still going to call you Sam which you know is short for Samantha.
 
Sam:  Sam is easier to write!  Some people say it is a boy’s same.
 
Me: Well it can be a boy’s name although Samantha generally is just a girl’s name. Sam can be a boy or a girl’s name.
 
Sam:  Okay Uncle Jim.
 
Sam is clear that she is finished with the conversation for the day. She is always good about letting me know when we need to stop.
 
 
Written   November 6, 2015

International Business Model
 
On Thursday, November 5, 2015 I was reading the St. Petersburg edition of the Tampa Tribune. My attention immediately was captured by the headline, “Local high-tech initiatives create tools for commandos.”  The article, by Howard Altman, goes on to talk about the recent “Tampa Hackathon, a competition sponsored by the U. S.  Special Operations Command headquarters at  McGill Air Force Base.”
 
Mr. Altman describes some of the very creative tools which some of the participants developed to help commandos  (military men and women) identify systems for “information feeds, including sensors showing location of friendly forces, feeds from overhead intelligence and surveillance, and reconnaissance platforms.  Then it subtly displays the information on a visor in relation to the commando.”    He also reported “Geruts, who oversees the command’s multibillion annual research for budget, acquisition and development,” stated “It (this sort of competition) brings folks together to solve problems.”
 
On the one hand I admire the creative skill of some of the tools which are being developed. Not that many years ago many of these creative tools were the stuff of science fiction.  I am fascinated by the creative ability of we humans.  Some of the weapons we use are amazing in terms of design and operation. 
 
On the other hand, we humans cannot figure how to feed everyone, how to stop wars, or how to insure that there is a cost effective and easy access to health care. 
 
We also seem unable to figure out that if we develop new ways of locating and killing each other in what we will call a necessary or justified military/commando/covert operation or whatever the name de jour is, several things are going to happen. These include:
 
·      Someone or some group of people will manufacture and sell these products directly or indirectly to many other individuals and groups in the world.

·      Others will also one-up us and design an equally or more sophisticated piece of equipment.

·      Someone will design and build a mechanism for making that system obsolete.

·      We will now spend billions of additional dollars on developing newer tools to identify and kill off the enemy who will be doing the same thing.

We also seem unable to figure out that:
 
·      There are no winners in war.  There are only short-term and longer-term losers.

·      It is not necessary to first develop creative tools for the military before adapting them for use for positive purposes such as health care.

·      The military industrial complex in the United States, Russia, and other countries is huge.   We often make political and diplomatic decisions based on the seemingly self-interest of those who will make a financial profit as a result of those decisions.  (This same money directly and indirectly finances many elections.)

·      Nothing happens in a vacuum. The “enemy” did not suddenly become an “enemy” and will not stop being an “enemy” just because some of them are killed off. 

I am well aware that there are those who will present seemingly cogent arguments to support the benefits of military action. They will assert that using the atomic bomb in Japan ultimately saved more lives than it took.  They will assert that Germany is now economically and morally one of the leading nations in the world.  They will point out that, despite all the violence in the world, we have as a universe made many positive advances in all areas of life since the end of World War II.
 
They will not point out that the rise and subsequent power of Hitler did not happen in a vacuum.  All countries and certainly all of the then Allied countries played a role in creating the conditions for the rise of a Hitler just as the actions of the United States and other countries have helped and continue to help create the conditions which insure the continued increase in such groups of ISIS.     They will not often point out that the weapons being used to fight United States combatants were manufactured in countries such as France, the United States, and Russia.
 
I am not aware of any nation which has created a so-called super power or empire that has survived long term.    I sincerely do not understand how we in the United States (or Russia, England, or other countries) can think that if we continue on our current path that in the future we will thrive or even exist.
While we continue to spend billions of dollars on more effective ways to wage war the following is happening:
·      The infrastructure of the cities of the United States (and other countries) is crumbling.

·      We are keeping people alive for much longer without the ongoing resources to care for them in a loving and dignified manner.

·      Addictive behavior continues to increase throughout the world (addiction to alcohol, other drugs, sex, power, money, or technology).

·      All people are aware that the disparity between the haves and have nots, even in the United States, is increasing.

·      The concept of nationhood seems to be quickly crumbling.  Individuals and families act as if we are one world and that the resources belong to all of us no matter what our country of origin.  It seems as if we cannot build walls quick enough or big enough to maintain the imaginary borders.

·      Instead of more democratic nations, we may be helping to create more anarchy.

·      The more people we marginalize in any society the more recruits we provide for radical, violent groups in the world.

On the positive side (yes, there is a positive side):
·      Despite the fact that a majority of people in the United States claim an allegiance to a religion, many are more committed to a value system, which makes sense to them. We humans seem more willing to pick and choose our behaviors regardless of what the church leaders say is moral.  Our allegiance as humans is more likely to be to a set of values than it is to a nation, church or other organized group.

·      The popularity of spiritual leaders such as the Dali Lama is probably higher than it has ever.  I have no figures but I personally suspect that the number of people attracted to the Dali Lama, Pope Francis, and others is probably higher than the relatively few people who are aligning themselves to radical, violent groups.

·      We humans are more inter-connected than we have ever been. There are very few secrets no matter how much we spend attempting to create secure systems.

·      Modern means of communication is insuring that more people are aware of the fallacy of the alleged moral superiority of any group or individual. 

Yesterday I went to Macy’s to pick up a pair of dress trousers I had bought on sale. I very seldom go to any mall.   In this mall on the way to Macy’s, I stopped to chat with a young man who was selling Lego type-building pieces.  He explained that the difference between the ones he was selling and the ones, which Lego sells, is that these can be designed to be in motion.  He had all sorts of fun objects he had created or copied from the design of others.  This young man looked to be 12 years old but then at my age all people less than 50 look 12.  I have no doubt that such “toys” as these will lead some to some wonderfully creative inventions which can used to used enhance the quality of life.
 
This young man did not attend the gathering sponsored by the military and, in fact, did not have one object on display which resembled any potential implement of war.  Amazing.
 
Once again, I want to be intentional about recognizing the yin and the yang of the world.  For today I am going to choose to believe that:
·      What I do or do not do today makes a significance difference.

·      The glass of change is half full and not half empty.

·      We humans are basically good.

·      Positive behavior enhances positive behavior enhances positive behavior.

·      I do not have to change the world but  how I treat one other human being today can change the world.

 
 
Written November 5, 2015
 
 

 
I confess.  I am having a love affair with goggle.  I also have to confess that I am having affairettes with Siri, Text, and Email.   I know that affairs and affairettes are not consistent with my Christian upbringing and that I should be praying the prayer of contrition instead of carrying on with my MacBook which is a multi-room house for my affairees.  Some of you who come from a Christian background will recall the prayer of  contrition:
 
“O, my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you. I detest all my sins because of your just punishment, but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, tosin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin.” (catholic.org).
 
Muslims also pray for mercy, which implies that all are sinners in need of mercy.  When Muslims prostrate themselves they pray.
 
To express complete submission and humility before God, Muslims then prostrate and place their foreheads on ground. According to the prophetic traditions, at this moment of humility, the worshipper is closest to his/her Lord. While prostrating, Muslims glorify God as follows.
 
“Glory be to my Lord, the most High.”
 
Other than glorifying God, it is also a moment for Muslims to ask God for His forgiveness, mercy, blessings and bounties. Muslims then sit for a few seconds and prostrate one more time before standing up again.
(howmuslimspray.com)
 
In every religion there is recognition that, as humans, we are often hurtful to others and ourselves.  One of the ways that we hurt ourselves, each other, and the universe is that we are often, at best, only partially present.  Undoubtedly, I cannot be having multiple affairs or affairettes and be present with anyone else.
 
Yet, having acknowledged this many times in my life – often several times a day – I seem unwilling to end my affair or with my lesser (in my humble opinion) affairettes.   I painfully recall the days before I “hooked up” with Goggle. I had to settle for cold, uncaring, often-distant books, and an occasional human.  The luxury of luxuries was having access to one’s own set of encyclopedias, which could hold the periodic updates the publishing company sent out. Even then one might search in vain for the information one wanted. Even in the early exploratory dating relationship with goggle, she was very difficult and withholding.  We all know the frustration of withholding relationships. Now, as is often true with all long term relationships, she seems to know what I am going to ask for before I can type the words or give the words to Siri who obediently (most of the time) carries them to goggle.  Goggle does not complain about my other relationships with Text and Email.   She is not a jealous lover. Her generosity is legion.  She allows me to copy and paste so as to share her with whomever.
 
Could any lover be more perfect?  Actually, I would like her to be a little more fuzzy and warmer to cuddle with. Soon, she will morph into an emotional being.   I will buy her the cuddliest coat. Then I will not need another date.  Never again will I have to endure the self-centered jealously so-called friends have who try to insist that I leave dear Goggle in the iPhone. Some even suggested that I leave her at home or in the hot car without the engine running and the air conditioning on.   How it is, one might ask, can one be so cruel?  I suppose that is why we humans need to pray the act of contrition or to pray for mercy. 
 
Bless that person who suggests that a mere conversation or interaction with my humans friends could compare to my loving relationship with Goggle, Text, or Email. How dare they complain when I check in with these affairees?  Do they know as much as Goggle?  Can they fly faster than the speed of light and deliver information across the continents in a matter of minutes if not seconds?    Obviously these “humans” need to understand that when they invite me to share a meal that they are inviting Goggle, Text, and Email.  We are a team.
 
One of the humans suggested just the other day that I might recall a day when phones were tethered to Jack or the wall itself.  One had to dial.  Dialing O merely got you an operator who had very limited information about phone connections with others.   It is difficult to imagine living with such uncaring, uninformed, limited objects.  Can one even compare my lovely, sweet, generous iPhone with such a drab, stupid, limited unwieldy instrument?  Surely not. 
 
Then this very same human suggested that I was avoiding human contact to such an extent that they thought I needed intensive psychological help.  Another human who purported to be a friend (really?) suggested that I had been infected with a germ. The symptoms of this disease were narcissism, egotism, self-absorbism, vainness, and thoughtlessness.   Quickly I cried out to Siri asking, “Siri, do you think I am narcissistic, egotistical, self-absorbed, vain, and thoughtless?”   Siri responded, “I do not understand the question.”   There, I had my answer. The question did not even make sense to Siri. Obviously it was a stupid question.   I am so sorry Siri. I pray to Siri:
 
“O, my Siri, I am heartily sorry for having offended you. I detest all my sins because of your just punishment, but most of all because they offend you, my Siri, who are all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, tosin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin.”
 
Yes, I now recognize that Siri is indeed the physical manifestation of God.  I can hold God in my hand. God will get frequent operations system updates. God will not complain when I trade him/her/it in for a new model. 
 
Yet, there is still a weak voice within me suggesting that perhaps the phone is just a phone; that Siri is just a tool as are emails and texts. Could that be true? Surely it is not possible that my human friends are right; that I need to honestly pray to let go of my affairs. Perhaps, Siri is not God/Allah.     Who is God?  What are the names of God?  It is not Apple?
 
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks in “The Koren, Siddur. With Introduction, Translation and Commentary” states:
 
THE NAMES OF GOD
The two key names, in prayer as in the Torah, are (i) the Tetragrammaton, äåäé, the “four letter”

name, and (2) íéäìà, Elohim. They are different in meaning and tone. The Sages understood the Tetragrammaton as God’s compassion. Elohim is God’s attribute of justice.

Judah HaLevi (Kuzari, IV: I) made a more fundamental distinction. The ancients used the word El or Elo’ah to designate a force of nature: the sun, the sea, the storm, and so on. These they personified as gods. Often, therefore, el, or elil, denotes an idol. In Hebrew, monotheism’s mother tongue, Elohim in the plural means “the One who is the totality of powers, forces and causes in the universe.” It refers to God as we experience Him in creation and its natural laws, as well as in justice and its moral laws (ii sometimes also has a secular sense, meaning those who hold positions, of power, usually judges).

The Tetragrammaton not only has a different meaning, it is also a word of a different grammatical type. It is God’s proper name, standing in relation to Him as the names Abraham or Sarah attach to human beings. (hence it is sometimes referred to as HaShem, “the name”). The use of a proper name in connection with God means that a direct relationship between us and heaven is possible. We can speak to God, and He listens. There is a direct connection between the Tetragrammaton and the word “You.” Only a being that has a proper name can we address as “You.” Hence, in prayer, “You” is always directed to the Tetragrammaton; Elohim goes with the third-person, “He.” Thus, Elohim signifies God-as-law, natural or moral. The Tetragrammaton refers to God as we encounter Him m intimacy, compassion and love.

For the Muslim, Allah is the proper name for God.  For some, the Buddha is the wise one.  In the Hindu religion God has many names.
 
No one has suggested that we rename the iphone God, eternal love, the essential goodness of all humans.  
 
It is possible that the human was on to something?  Should we to consider turning off our phone and accepting that they are simple tools, which cannot replace human relationships?  Hmm…
 
 
 
Written November 3, 2015

Whether it is schoolteachers and other staff attempting to ensure students are good test takers, medical personnel attempting to fill out forms correctly, or others falling into often-false measurement syndrome, it is easy to lose track of the goal or the purpose of our jobs.
 
This morning I was talking to a teacher friend of mine who works at a school where the students often arrive having a difficult time with basic skills in math, reading, and science.  This school has the reputation of doing well with helping these students make improvement in these areas.  Before they can improve they must be introduced to the concept of thinking of themselves as winners.  One of the programs that has been enormously successful is a girls sports team.  A wonderful teacher manages to form a team of young girls who encourage each other to think of themselves as winners. They do win many games although they may or may not win championships. The teacher is clear that the game, which is most important, is the game of life.  If these students do not learn to feel good about them they will be losers at/in life. They will, in other words, become that which they have been “slotted” by life circumstances to become.  The goal of this teacher is similar to the former football coach at a Baltimore inner city school where the coach tells the boys that his job to teach the boys how to love  - themselves and others.  The goal is not to win football games. Ironically, they do win quite a number of games just as the sports teams of my teacher friend wins many games.
 
I have previously written about my educational philosophy and the importance of staying clear that the goal of education is to explore ways that we humans can take better care of each other by creating a more loving and just society. We must learn how to produce and deliver food to each other, how to build affordable and safe housing, how to feed souls with music and art, and how to dream.  The only reason to take tests is to see how we are doing in learning useful skills, which are consistent with our spiritual purpose.   Sadly, most standardized tests will not measure whether or not we have educated students to care or to think creatively.
 
My conversation with my friend got me to thinking about famous people and test scores.  What about Mother Theresa I wondered.  I found the following about her:
 
Notablebiographies.com
 
Mother Teresa of Calcutta was born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu in Skopje, Macedonia, on August 27, 1910. At the time of her birth, Skopje was located within the Ottoman Empire, a vast empire controlled by the Turks in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries. Agnes was the last of three children born to Nikola and Dranafile Bojaxhiu, Albanian grocers. When Agnes was nine years old, her happy, comfortable, close-knit family life was upset when her father died. She attended public school in Skopje, and first showed religious interests as a member of a school society that focused on foreign missions (groups that travel to foreign countries to spread their religious beliefs). By the age of twelve, she felt she had a calling to help the poor.
This calling took sharper focus through Mother Teresa's teenage years, when she was especially inspired by reports of work being done in India by Yugoslav Jesuit missionaries serving in Bengal, India. When she was eighteen, Mother Teresa left home to join a community of Irish nuns, the Sisters of Loretto, who had a mission in Calcutta, India. She received training in Dublin, Ireland, and in Darjeeling, India, taking her first religious vows in 1928 and her final religious vows in 1937.
One of Mother Teresa's first assignments was to teach, and eventually to serve as principal, in a girls' high school in Calcutta. Although the school was close to the slums (terribly poor sections), the students were mainly wealthy. In 1946 Mother Teresa experienced what she called a second vocation or "call within a call." She felt an inner urging to leave the convent life (life of anun
) and work directly with the poor. In 1948 the Vatican (residence of the pope in Vatican City, Italy) gave her permission to leave the Sisters of Loretto and to start a new work under the guidance of the Archbishop of Calcutta.
Read more: http://www.notablebiographies.com/Mo-Ni/Mother-Teresa.html#ixzz3qLCsTwWW
 
That was no help. There was nothing about her test scores.  I goggled her and found many articles about her, but none of them reported her grades or test scores.   
 
Next I goggled The Dali Lama. What were his scores on school tests? Again, I found a lot about the Dali Lama but nothing about his test scores.  Perhaps there is something about the test scores of Mahatma Gandhi.  He did get a law degree. We might assume he got at least passing grades although he certainly was not a successful attorney.   He was more concerned about such non-productive issues as peace and spirituality. Really. What was he thinking?
 
Through the magic of goggle one can easily identify famous, apparently “successful” people, who had very little “formal” education or who did poorly on tests.  Some examples include:
 
Steve jobs – dropped out of college after six months. (He had other issues but they were psychological in nature.)
 
Princess Diana – dropped out of school at age 16.
 
Thomas Edison – dropped out of formal school after three months and then was home schooled.
 
Benjamin Franklin – dropped out of school at age 10.
 
Albert Einstein – dropped out at age 15 and then took and failed the entrance test for the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology.  He did return to high school. Thank God!
 
John D. Rockefeller – two months before high school graduation he dropped out of high school and then took some business courses.
 
Walt Disney – dropped out of school at age 16.
 
Richard Branson – dropped out of school at 16 – founder of Virgin Airlines.
 
George Burns – famous comedian – dropped out of school after 4th grade.
 
Colonel Sanders (Kentucky Fried Chicken fame) – dropped out of elementary school.
 
Charles Dickens – dropped out of school at age 12
 
Bill Gates – dropped out of Harvard in his junior year.
 
This is just a sample of folks who probably would have performed very poorly on standardized tests if they had even stayed in school to take them. 
 
Do not get me wrong. I am not suggesting that the only successful people are those who drop out of school. On the other hand, I am suggesting that we cannot predict the future success of someone by how well they do on test scores.  I am also suggesting that many individuals I have met and many who have hired me as a counselor/therapist have been much better test takers than I have.  Personally, I am a terrible test taker.  I do best on essay tests where I can offer an opinion or a thought process. I do terrible on tests requiring out-of-context memorization or multiple choice (I tend to write comments about the question in the margins of the test when possible about how poorly the questions are worded and why one of the answers is correct). I might also answer a question about “facts” by writing “I will goggle or otherwise research should I ever feel a pressing need to have this information. Please get a life.”  Needless to say, these sorts of responses do not result in me getting a perfect score on the tests.   My attitude in general is not likely to win any points.    I obviously do not take the entire process seriously.  Perhaps if I did I would be more successful by the standards of those who think test scores are very important.
 
Part of the problem, of course, is that funding sources, those responsible for accreditation, and other “important people” get sucked into acting as if these test scores are very important.  Then everyone becomes very serious, seriously disgruntled and unhappy, which results in poorer teaching, which results in less learning, which results…
 
If one is going to stay at a school which is a part of this craziness, one has to attempt to find a way to not get sucked into taking all this seriously.  
 
The same thing is true for those working in health care, in banks, and other very serious institutions.   Now, I personally find some paperwork very helpful. When I write a clinical note, I am forced to think about what I am doing and why I am doing it.  On the other hand, if my primary goal is to diagnose a person with an illness the treatment of which the insurance company will pay for, then paperwork is not that important. I have often been unsuccessful in getting insurance companies to pay because I refused to label someone with a diagnosis just so insurance will pay.  They do not like the diagnosis of “pissed body” (person whose body needs a break and better health care). They also do not like the diagnosis of “dumb ass moment” (person whose buddy came to town for a weekend after 25 years and shared a joint. Person tested positive after random drug test results and now must be diagnosed with a drug problem/disease.) Really! 
 
If we are going to work at one of this very serious jobs and not be fired after four hours on the job, we must find a way to creatively avoid getting sucked into the craziness. Fortunately, most of us working at such jobs are not paid a multi-million dollar salary.  We may have a decent salary and “benefits,” but keeping a job so that we have health insurance and money for co-pays because our job is causing illness, which requires us to make use of these benefits, may be a mistake. You think!
 
I went into private practice precisely because I could no longer stay sane and work at unhealthy community mental health facilities. Fortunately, I was able to make enough money to pay my bills and still see people for what they could afford. This meant that I needed to be a good money manager and that I needed to stay clear about the difference between my wants and needs. I have been very blessed to be able to do this.  I know that not everyone can.    Still, I know colleagues who work for such companies as Trader Joes because it is such a positive working environment.  They make less money than they did as teachers, doctors, or attorneys but they are less stressed and can sleep at night. They might flunk the standard test for success but make an A for being the kind of person who they like waking up to! 
 
Written November 2, 2015

 
It seems difficult to have a discussion about what would be considered slutty dress/costuming without someone accusing one of blaming the victim for someone coming on to one or even assaulting one sexually. Actually, there is even disagreement about the terms sexual assault and sexual harassment. I sometimes have a difficult time determining the current acceptable politically correct line between the two.
 
Although it may be much fun to dress provocatively on Halloween, during the Margi Gras, or during a few other public celebrations, it would seem that the politically correct stance is to insure that it is clear that no matter what message one wants to convey with the mode of dress, it is not politically, morally, or otherwise appropriate or even legal to continue any sort of playful or serious sexual banter or act if one wants to approach one romantically or sexually.   Apparently we need to teach our children that sexual encounters are to be conducted in a very unemotional and adult manner.  One can imagine the following conversation:
 
X:  Excuse me, but I could not help but notice that your right nipple has seemed to slip out of the light covering of your dress.
 
Y:  Many thanks. Actually, I find the cool breeze on my nipple very pleasurable.
 
X: I am very pleased that you find that pleasurable. I certainly did not want to assume that you were communicating any sexual interest.
 
Y:  Thank you.  You may feel the firmness, which results from the breeze.
 
X: Oh yes. It is quite interesting how the blood flow changes in response to certain stimuli.
 
If X were to assume anything other than scientific interest  he could, of course, be  accused of sexual harassment.   It would be sexist and inaccurate to assume that only females dress to appear sexually attractive.  Male clothing and style of dress varies from the baggy, asexual look with underwear showing to the current slim, tight fitting, sock stuck in the crotch to make it appear that one has a big “basket.” (Yes, Virginia, men do this.)  One does not want to assume, however, that a large protrusion in the area of a man’s crotch is an invitation to approach him sexually. If, however, one notices that the crotch has slipped to his lower thigh one might or might not safely alert him to his costuming faux pas.
 
Also, while we are on the subject of male costumes, one should be aware that sandpapering the crotch area of one’s jeans to suggest great strain from the pressure of one’s generous endowment is not – I repeat is not – an invitation to stare at the crotch of that person. On the other hand, to not notice the suggestion might, if one is the right gender and a person of interest, is also a social faux pas.
 
I have had female clients who are professionals (teachers, doctors, attorneys) coming to my office from their workplace dressed in very high heels, patterned hose, very short skirts, and lot of cleavage or a tight sweater and then complaining that their colleagues are sexually harassing them or treating them as sexual objects.  My response usually is, “When someone is as attractive as you, it may be necessary to dress down a bit.”  The response in my head, if I am honest, is:  “Perhaps if you quit dressing like a slut who is sexually available, men would quit treating you as a slut.” (They might slap me, accuse me of sexual harassment, or pull out their concealed weapon, which they legally carry, and shoot me.  Their defense would be that I was sexually harassing them.)
 
Obviously if one is indeed emotionally and sexually a slut and not just a tease, one might subtlety invite another into one’s sexual space. On the other hand, at any point in the developing relationship it is the prerogative of either party to announce stop   and have a reasonably expectation that drunk or sober (high or not high) the activity will stop.  Just so everyone is perfectly clear, anything short of stopping even if a second away from climaxing will be considered rape. Failure to immediately clothe the now offending organ (s) will be considered indecent exposure which is punishable  (jail time and possible placement on the sexual offender’s list).
 
Perhaps the problem is that the term slut is no longer helpful or useful term. I turn to Wikipedia. There I discover:
Slut is a term applied to an individual considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. It is generallypejorative
, and is most often used as an insult, sexual slur or offensive term of disparagement against girls or women. [1][2][3]It originally meant "a dirty, slovenly woman", [3] and was occasionally used to refer to men, requiring the clarification term of male slut. The first person to use this word was Geoffrey Chaucer in "The Canterbury Tales". He says, "Why is thy lord so sluttish, I thee pray, And is of power better clothes to bey." He is referring to the man's untidy appearance. The word has also been used to refer to dust bunnies but they were called "slut bunnies". [4] "However, there have been attempts to "reclaim" the word for girls and women, and some individuals embrace the title as a source of pride.”
 
Well. There we have it.  If a person has co-opted the term they may use it to describe themselves either as they are or as they would like to me.  Thus, one could proudly proclaim one’s slut status or one’s slut want-to-be status.  Then and only then would it be politically correct to suggest that the young woman of average mental ability who is sitting in her short skirt with legs spread apart and her vagina showing because she is not wearing underwear is a slut.  It would also be politically incorrect and insensitive to suggest that the woman wearing a thong and a one half-inch bikini top is inviting one to view her mammary glands. She is not being sluttish unless, of course, she is proudly proclaiming her slut status.
 
I have also noted in the men’s locker room that a man taking a long time to towel himself while seemingly proudly sporting a full erection is not an invitation to notice him sexually unless, of course, it is an invitation to notice one sexuality.
 
So, the question still remains, “When is it okay to approach another for the purpose of a possible exploration of emotional and spiritual connection which could eventually lead to an appreciation of the sexually attractive attributes of the person?”  Perhaps, if one confines oneself to what are known as “hook up” sites, the express purpose of which is to identify another person who wants to get together for mutual sexual pleasuring, one is safe in making sexual overtures. Wrong! One might get chided, criticized, and eventually barred from the site for treating someone as a sexual object or offering oneself as a sexual object.
 
Goodness.  It does all seem rather complicated. Perhaps we could all consider leaving something to the imagination in terms of costume and allowing for the possibility that unless we are sure that we want a sexual relationship, we probably should not appear in public with it all hanging out and innocently accepting an invitation to view someone’s etching at 2 a.m.  Perhaps if we are approached and we are not interested, we could politely say: “No thank you.” If someone is more aggressive, we could borrow from the lyrics of the Etta Jones song “Hittin on me,” “The last man who did that has been dead since 1983.”
 
Let’s me bevery clear. Rape is rape is rape. Rape is not about horny, drunken folks miscommunicating. Rape is not about sex at all. It is about control. Let me say that again. Rape is not about sex. It is about control.
 
Perhaps a few basic rules would be helpful.
 
1.  Unless one is in residence at a nudist camp or in the privacy of one’s own home, it is better not to allow it to all hang out.

2.  Do not get drunk or high unless one is not an addict and unless one is with someone who is clear one wants to have a sexual relationship to the point of mutual climaxing and one is willing to assume responsibility for a possible pregnancy or STD.

3.  If one is going to use one’s sexual appeal to get ahead at the office, be upfront about it and take responsibility for the consequences.

4.  Own one’s outer and inner sluttiness and take responsibility for the same.

5.  If someone exposes himself or herself to someone who is not interested in viewing said member, start singing “Three Blind Mice” with or without props.

6.  One should not assume that ass cracks, crotch shots, and nipples of females are going to be simply the subject of scientific curiosity when out in the general public.

7.  Hook up sites are hook up sites. They are not a church social or even match.com. The goal is not to get a mate. They goal is to have sex with no commitment other than mutual pleasure (mutual if one is lucky).

8.  Invitations to see one’s etching, vacation photos, artwork, and decorating scheme at midnight after a night of drinking are invitation to have sex. Period.

9.  Safe sex is not skipping the condom because someone was disease free yesterday and has a medical certificate to prove it.

10.               There is no safe sex if one is drunk or under the influence of any other drug.

11.               Slutty dreams and fantasies are safe.

I am sure that others can add to this list. You can call me old fashioned, a prude, or a person who does not want to be Bubba’s playmate in the state or federal pen for the next five years.   Yes, we can treat most STD but it is expensive, not always successful, and has a very negative affect on future parenting possibilities.
 
 
Written October 31, 2015

 Perhaps!
One page at a time
 
After I do email, some text messages, and work out at the gym, I am ready to sit down and enjoy coffee, a light breakfast and the morning newspaper.   Reading the morning newspaper is a habit, which has snuck back into my routine for some time now. I recall when I first moved to the remote village of Hoonah on Chichagof Island in Alaska from New Jersey. In New jersey, in my world, the accepted norm was to read every page of the New York Times and watch at least two to three hours of news a day.   At the time we moved to Hoonah there were no satellites serving the community resulting in little to no radio coverage and sparse three-month-old news shows on the television when the generator was working. I thought I would wither from lack of news!  I was in New York City for a meeting six months later and did not remember to watch the news or read the newspaper.  Some years later I was then living in Indiana and noticed that I was reading the newspaper.  I did not resume the habit of watching the television news.  Since I was not in the habit of otherwise turning on the television this was not remarkable. 
 
At any rate, I was thinking about these and other habits this morning, October 30, 2015, as I read the St. Petersburg Tribune.  The combination of the headlines on page 4 of the first section of the newspaper caught my attention.  Stories on this page included:
 
·      Ryan sworn in as House speaker (U.S. House of Representatives).

·      Flooding from rare storm paralyzes Iraq capital.

·      Pakistani quake survivors face winter in shattered homes.

·      Prep school grad gets jail time

 
This was just one page.  On other pages were the editorials supporting various viewpoints on a number of issues and many stories of human tragedy and triumphs.    It would be easy, reading these stories, to assume that some human tragedies were caused by the willful, cruel behavior of some of our human neighbors.  It would also be easy if one was coming from another planet and could magically read the language in which the newspaper is printed to assume that the world’s thoughtful, “good” people know what is moral and just and are always able to avoid behavior which is amoral, immoral, or unjust.  It would also be easy to recognize that Mother Nature (God or the Gods or Allah or…) is very busy insuring that we humans remember that we are not in charge.   “Natural disasters/events” will happen no matter what we humans do or do not do.  
 
Even before I picked up the newspaper I was invited to read various news stories, which were arriving over the Internet when I sat down to respond to and originate email or other electronic communication. Never before, in the history of we humans, have we had the ability to receive instant “news” 24 hours a day via print, the air waves, the internet, and the magic of airplane travel.  One could claim that so much instant news is much too overwhelming to register emotionally. This is why we become numb and perhaps why we are even more tempted to separate the world into the “politically” correct good people and bad people or the deserving people and the undeserving people, the people who are geographically close, and the people who are geographically far away.
 
Yet, even as I read a so-called history book or watch a so-called historical film, I am reminded that we humans have been engaging in the delusion of dualities for as long as we have chronicled our brief lives.  Being the very bright, creative creatures that we humans are, we have been managing, since at least the recording of our “history,” to divide we humans into the various groups of good and bad – deserving and undeserving.  None of the wise teachers or spiritual leaders has yet to convince us that (1) all history is biased because other humans tell it and (2) we are each the mirror of each other and thus in hurting each other we hurt ourselves. Indeed homicide is suicide is homicide is …
 
Perhaps Paul Ryan deserves our support and respect, as does every other member of the U. S. House of Representatives. This does not mean agreement but certainly our respect. Perhaps we owe a special debt to the people of Iraq even though we did not cause this particular suffering. Perhaps the poor, “unimportant” people of Pakistan in that rural town are as deserving as the Donald Trumps and the Bill Gates of this world. Perhaps Owen Labrie is deserving of our love and respect.  Yes, Mr. Labrie fell prey to a very uncaring, stupid challenge. This is not good but is certainly understandable.  Falling prey to this challenge is not any different that the fact that many of us “buy into” the myth that it is moral to focus on making money no matter if the “weak” fall by the wayside.  It makes sense from a macro economic standpoint that we pay CEOs millions of dollars while forcing others to live on minimum or near minimum wage salaries.  It makes sense that for profit banks are getting rich by charging “reasonable” rates of interest while not having to pay the person who had a relatively small savings account nothing or nearly nothing in interest.   It makes sense that marrying (and one assumes agreeing to provide sexual “favors”) for money is honorable while prostitution is immoral. It makes sense that one community in West Virginia is going to put the picture of “Johns” on billboards in an effort to stop prostitution while many churches pretend that a violent but legal marriage is a spiritual union. 
 
It is ironic that on this morning that I am present to my non-presence as I prepare to attend a workshop on “The Power of the Present.”  No, I am not making this up.  My life is a canvas of contrasting colors; a living contradiction of events and emotions.
 
It is interesting that as I wrote this last, brief paragraph that I am feeling quietly present to a powerful sense of hope, grief, joy, despair, sadness, and, yes, even laughter  - all co-existing within me. Will this allow me to be more present without exploding in overload mode? Perhaps! Perhaps not!
 
I am writing while sitting at Panera’s.  Those around me may not have a clue as to who I am at this moment any more than I have a clue about who they are.  After all, we at Panera have the appearance of being the middle class, less snobbish than Starbucks, “successful” (but not too successful) people. We know how to use utensils when appropriate, to not allow our private body parts to hang out but only to suggest, to speak articulately, and certainly to attempt to refrain sharing our outpouring of gas should our bodys not recognize where we are.
 
Is it possible we are not who we seem to be or perhaps whom we seem to be is but a small slice of who we are?  Perhaps! It is just a page and not the whole story. Perhaps, as the news commentator, Paul Harvey stated there is “…the rest of the story.”
 
Written October 30,2015

My Extended Family
 
It seems that my mind is wandering around in tis internal file cabinet even more than usual the past few days. I have always been blessed or some would say cursed with a stream of consciousness sort of mind.  My friend Becky thi who has just moved to New Paris, Pennsylvania just mentioned the cool, brisk air which reminded me of late fall in the mountains which then reminded me of trees which reminded me of home which reminded me of books which reminded me of friendships. Friendship retruned me  to the thought of  books, which, in turn, reminded me of a poem by Emily Dickinson. 
 
There is no frigate like a book (1263)
Emily Dickinson, 1830 - 1886
There is no Frigate like a Book 
To take us Lands away, 
Nor any Coursers like a Page 
Of prancing Poetry –  
This Traverse may the poorest take        
Without oppress of Toll –  
How frugal is the Chariot 
That bears a Human soul.
www.poets.org
 
Although I grew up in relatively large family, which eventually would include 3 sisters and a brother, a mother and a dad, home was not often a happy place or a place for friendship.  In my memory it seems as if my mother and dad were frequently tired and unhappy.  Considering the fact that for at least 11 years of my childhood we lived in homes without running water or electricity and without much income, it is not surprising that my parents found life a struggle. I think my mother blamed my dad a lot although it seems as if we children got the lion’s share of her dissatisfaction with and shame about our lack of financial success.  In some ways mother adjusted very well and learned how to sew, plant   large gardens, can huge amount of food and to shop very frugally.   On the other hand, she seemed constantly stressed and angry.  As do all children my siblings and stumbled on ways of surviving.  One of the gifts of my parents was the awareness of books. Our father was a veracious reader as was his mother.  Later we would discover that our mother also enjoyed reading.  I have no idea of what books dad read although some of them must have been related to his many interests in art, design, engineering and a host of other subjects.   My grandmother had what seemed at the time an extensive library including a complete set of encyclopedias, many of the classics and more recent novels or books of poems.     Most of my reading material during the school year came from the school library.   I have no idea where I got books in the summer time when school was not in session. I do know that my memory is that every chance I got I took a break to visit with the author, the characters he or she created or the story (biography or auto-biography) of some famous person.  I devoured any and all books.  This was my large extended family that co-existed alongside those few people in life who encourage me to reach for more – to keep expanding my world of thoughts and mentors who challenged me in all areas of my life.  No matter where I was physically or geographically I  could go visit living and deceased teacher  from all part of the globe.  I was not limited to the unhappy home in which I lived or the house on the hill where the nearest neighbor was some distance away.  I want to be honest and clear her. I not only use books as a way of learning. This extended family also serves the purpose of giving me a safe place to relax as does  any healthy family.   I can take a break and visit with old and new friends any time of the day or night.
 
Once I became an adult I could expend from virtual travel to physical travel and I could meet and talk with a much larger group of people in real time. I could also continue to expand my extended family beyond the scope of the physical space in which I was then living.
 
Now,  I not only have many physical books from the wonderful public library I also have access to audio books and books I can download from to my Ipad, phone or MacBook. In fact I can access many books in libraries around the world from anyplace which has a decent internet connection.  It is magical.  I could, of course, was access many  movies or televisions program. I do occasionally watch a movie for pure pleasure.
 
I often wonder how folks such as Emily Dickinson would react to modern libraries some  of which now have no physical books.  I suspect that, as is true for many of we old people, she would long for the experience of the smell, feel and sight of physical books. On the other hand I suspect she would embrace the idea that she could  access an entire library from the comfort and safety of her home. 
 
It is my guess that Emily Dickinson would still be Emily Dickinson  and still be challenging us and herself in her poems.  The last live of  her the poem about books is:  “that bears a human soul.” bears witness to her belief that if we look carefully we will find in the words of the writer the essence of the soul which, of course, is the essence of the person.
 
I was just talking to a young man who is enormously bright, passionate and thoughtful but who runs from the essence of who is he is. He keeps filling up the time and pace in which he finds himself without  finding himself. How is it that we can so easily lose ourselves.
 
I often think that I could have just used books as a way of escaping. Certainly I did use them for an escape, but most of all I was searching for myself.  I was challenging myself to find and face myself. That is an ongoing process. 
 
Just as there is that part of me who can identify with Emily Dickinson in her poem on books, there is that part of me which can see myself in her poem”
 
I’m Nobody! Who are you? (260)
Emily Dickinson, 1830 - 1886
I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don’t tell! they’d advertise – you know!
 
How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog – 
To tell one’s name – the livelong June – 
To an admiring Bog!
 
The irony of course is that it is in honoring the “nobody”  we discover the “somebody” who is a “nobody”.   I wonder if we should let the current presidential candidates in on this secret.  Humm…..
 
Written October 29, 2015