Acceptance

 
Acceptance​

Scholars and even most lay persons know that reality is related to perception and, thus, is a very personal experience.   Our individual brains process incoming stimuli differently.   One brain will perceive or register the whole and then break the whole into individual parts.  Other brains will perceive or register the individuals parts or pieces and then have to try to envision the whole.   Some brains can record and remember a picture of  words thus making recall and even spelling relatively easy.   Other brain process auditory stimuli more efficiently than visual stimuli.   Hearing impaired people process and experience the world differently than those who hear well.

We humans also experience the world through the history of trauma stored in our DNA as well as the history of trauma which begins accumulating during the time in the womb.   Some seem to process and store trauma as crippling  experiences.  Some seem to have a resilience or a shield protecting them from the events which cripple others.

Those  who lives have been kidnapped by past trauma (history or during this life journey) or whose brains do not readily experience a shared reality have to find a way to accept that another reality is possible, or they and the external world will find that they are constantly clashing.    

Those who are open and creative are able to allow for the possibility of an alternative reality.  When one, for example, views a Van Gough painting the swirls of colors which play with each other are unique to his vision.  No one can say that his reality is accurate or inaccurate.   It just is.

One can have a passionate difference of opinion and still accept that the other point of view has or could have validity.  In this care the perception and understanding is different but the acceptance that two opposing realities or opposing opinions are valid allows individuals to  continue a respectful relationship.

I love the Quaker consensus approach to decision making.    All the people  involved agree to not make a decision until everyone agrees on a base of shared reality which will determine a  course of action.  This can take a very long time but in the long run it saves time.  If the consequences of the decision are not acceptable  there is no energy or time wasted in blaming.  The group simply attempts to formulate a new plan of action.   The goal is always on problem solving and not proving one’s reality is the one true one.

Acceptance that one’s reality does not have to the one true reality happens as one feeds one’s spiritual growth.  This is not always a comfortable or fun journey, but the reward is the freedom of connection and, thus, love.
 
Written August 18, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org