Accepting the challenge - Us males and the Me-Too movement

​Accepting the challenge – Us males and the Me-Too movement
 
The challenge of the Me-too movement for us men is nothing new.    Women whom I respect have been saying to the males they know at work, in government, and in all areas of community life  for many years that we need to help each other explore:
 

• Who do we want to be as males?
• Do we have the courage and self-confidence to have open to equal, healthy relationships with the females in our lives?
• Are we willing to share responsibility for the physical, emotional and spiritual care of the home including children, extended family and friends?
• Are we willing to listen to the thoughts and feelings of the females in our lives?
• Are we willing to share the emotional care of each other rather than expecting the females in our lives to be our only emotional gas station?
•  Are we able and willing to have romantic and sexual relationships which are mutually respectful of each other’s needs and desires?
• Are we willing to father and mentor male children about these issues?
• Are we willing to stand up to other males in the locker room and the board room when they share jokes or comments demeaning females or any other people?
• Are we willing to practice listening without offering advice or pronouncements?
• Are we willing to honor career goals of our female spouses as equal to our own?
• Are we willing to consider making relationships a priority over tasks?
• Are we willing to listen to the anger of the females in our lives who have been treated as servants, sexual objects or in any way less than just because of their gender?

 
 
I became a member of a men’s support group/consciousness raising group around 1975 and have been exploring the answer to these and related questions since that time.   I am still a work in progress both in regards to who I am or want to be as a male and in regards to my relationship with women.   As has been true for many of us, I grew up and continue to live in a society which values and treats me as a Caucasian male differently than women, those with a different racial appearance or heritage or others who are labeled with other social constructs. 
 
Women are struggling with own set of questions which may be connected to their experience of us men but which are not about us.  They are also telling us to take responsibility for each other and to quit expecting woman to minister to the discomfort which always accompanies emotional and spiritual/moral growth. 
 
Although I have, at times, noticed more open, loving conversations with other males in the locker room at the gym, at work meetings and in other settings, often I experience the same discomfort with conversations about our emotional, family and spiritual life.   I also often experience the same homophobic attitude and discomfort.  Yet there has been progress , but, in other ways I might as well be in the junior high locker room.
 
The Me-too movement will have to stumble their way through this state of growth just as us men will have to stumble our way through our growth.  Hopefully, whatever we do is honest, open, and has a goal of healing.   We are going to continue to live and work together either as equals or dressed in our respective, opposing teams costumes.
 
 
Written December 8, 2018