Accepting the invitation
Someone asked me what I thought of the comments of Robert De Niro at the Tony awards, June 10, 2018. I had no idea what he was talking about, but was sure I could find a video of the event. Sure enough, there is a You Tube video in which Mr. De Niro comes out on the stage and says “F____K” Trump. It is no longer “dump Trump but F...K trump.” The audience clapped and jeered him on.
I am well aware that the current President of the United States seems to thrive on making very public, negative statements about people worth whom he disagrees or who not feed his ego. I am also aware that many people accept the invitations to publicly spar with Mr. Trumps, stopping just short of acting like street juveniles who feels compelled to prove their manhood by impinging the integrity of someone’s mother. I am also well aware that some of our most pious politicians, famous clergy and other righteous leaders in private use language and engage in behavior for which they publicly denounce others.
I am also aware of the fact that in many cultures the use of the F word or its equivalent is common.
It is also true that reacting instead of acting is not limited to those living in the United States. I do think that the public nature of the instantaneous reaction of many in the public sector is somewhat new. It is, after all, the first time in human history when our ability to publicly tweet, message, email, Facebook, Instagram or use some other app is new. Never before in human history could anyone, including our president, instantly shout out a reaction to the word or other behavior of another and have it go “viral” in a matter of minutes.
I can very clearly recall saying to my son or having adults say to me when I was young, “I don’t care what Johnny or Susie is doing, in this family we do not …”
We were taught that it is our responsibility to strive to be intentional about our words and other behavior and to base them on our core values. Blaming another person for my behavior, even if it was a sibling, simply was not acceptable.
The fact is that I have a choice. Is someone invites me to engage in a dumbed down version of the dirty dozen I have a choice of whether or not to accept that invitation. No one can force me to name call, hurl obscenities, make racist or sexist statement or engage in any other behavior which is not consistent with my values. At age 13 it might have been understandable that I though it appropriate to accept an invitation to engage in a nasty, disparaging verbal battle and blame in on the person who “started it”. As an adult, I am expected to a strong enough sense of self to choose behavior of which I can be proud.
Obviously, I have no control over the behavior of another person. I might or might not have some influence over employees, children or other whom I am honored to lead or guide.
I have no control over the behavior of Mr. De Nero. I have no control over the members of the Tony Awards audience who loudly clapped and cheered the verbal behavior which mirrored that of President Trump which mirrored that of the street juvenile who is attempting to prove or establish his place- manhood or womanhood. I do know it is tempting for me to react instead of taking responsibility for behaving in a way which is consistent with my core values. Throwing verbal barbs or physical knives is not consistent with my goals.
I suppose this is another way of reminding myself of the teaching of many spiritual leaders who admonished those who were without “sin” to throw the first stone.”
Written June 14, 2018
Someone asked me what I thought of the comments of Robert De Niro at the Tony awards, June 10, 2018. I had no idea what he was talking about, but was sure I could find a video of the event. Sure enough, there is a You Tube video in which Mr. De Niro comes out on the stage and says “F____K” Trump. It is no longer “dump Trump but F...K trump.” The audience clapped and jeered him on.
I am well aware that the current President of the United States seems to thrive on making very public, negative statements about people worth whom he disagrees or who not feed his ego. I am also aware that many people accept the invitations to publicly spar with Mr. Trumps, stopping just short of acting like street juveniles who feels compelled to prove their manhood by impinging the integrity of someone’s mother. I am also well aware that some of our most pious politicians, famous clergy and other righteous leaders in private use language and engage in behavior for which they publicly denounce others.
I am also aware of the fact that in many cultures the use of the F word or its equivalent is common.
It is also true that reacting instead of acting is not limited to those living in the United States. I do think that the public nature of the instantaneous reaction of many in the public sector is somewhat new. It is, after all, the first time in human history when our ability to publicly tweet, message, email, Facebook, Instagram or use some other app is new. Never before in human history could anyone, including our president, instantly shout out a reaction to the word or other behavior of another and have it go “viral” in a matter of minutes.
I can very clearly recall saying to my son or having adults say to me when I was young, “I don’t care what Johnny or Susie is doing, in this family we do not …”
We were taught that it is our responsibility to strive to be intentional about our words and other behavior and to base them on our core values. Blaming another person for my behavior, even if it was a sibling, simply was not acceptable.
The fact is that I have a choice. Is someone invites me to engage in a dumbed down version of the dirty dozen I have a choice of whether or not to accept that invitation. No one can force me to name call, hurl obscenities, make racist or sexist statement or engage in any other behavior which is not consistent with my values. At age 13 it might have been understandable that I though it appropriate to accept an invitation to engage in a nasty, disparaging verbal battle and blame in on the person who “started it”. As an adult, I am expected to a strong enough sense of self to choose behavior of which I can be proud.
Obviously, I have no control over the behavior of another person. I might or might not have some influence over employees, children or other whom I am honored to lead or guide.
I have no control over the behavior of Mr. De Nero. I have no control over the members of the Tony Awards audience who loudly clapped and cheered the verbal behavior which mirrored that of President Trump which mirrored that of the street juvenile who is attempting to prove or establish his place- manhood or womanhood. I do know it is tempting for me to react instead of taking responsibility for behaving in a way which is consistent with my core values. Throwing verbal barbs or physical knives is not consistent with my goals.
I suppose this is another way of reminding myself of the teaching of many spiritual leaders who admonished those who were without “sin” to throw the first stone.”
Written June 14, 2018
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