“All things work together for good…”
As a licensed counselor I often work with or for individuals who are making use of a 12-step recovery program – AA, NA, GA, OA, SAA or one of the others based on the same 12 steps. If one reads their literature or attends a 12-step meeting one might hear that one often has to reach rock bottom before taking that leap of faith to explore a life free of the dependence on alcohol, another drug, food, sex or something else outside of oneself. What is rock bottom for one person might seem like “not too bad” for another person. Rock bottom becomes the beginning point for a much better life. I, too, have discovered what initially seemed like an acute negative event has become the start of a new, exciting and positive chapter in my life.
Knowing this does not keep me from feeling frightened when it seems as if the bottom has just fallen out of my life. I may have discovered that the person I was hoping to grow old with has been seeing another person for some time. It may be that my closest friend has died. It may be that I have had to leave a job where I had planned to remain until retirement. It may be that my closest friend has decided that they can no longer be friends with me. It may be that I had made careful plans to make major changes in my life and something has happened that makes it impossible to forward with my plans or resume my life as it was.
As a young man I was sure that each rock bottom occurrence was because of some failing or weakness in me. I would suffer through the event all alone and pretend that all was okay. At the same time, I expected friends to comfort me without having to ask for support or tell folks the nature of the problem or situation. At another stage in my life I sort of fell apart and expected someone to somehow super glue the pieces together again. In more recent years I have let friends know that I am having a difficult time and could use some support. I know now that I have to be very clear about what I want or need in the way of support. I used to give very mixed messages such as, “Well, if it is convenient it would be okay if ….” That response did not elicit much support.
Even though I still get anxious when a major event does not go as I had planned or when I am grieving a loss, I trust that, at some point, there will be a new beginning with new opportunities. The new beginning will not necessarily lessen the grief but it will open new doors. I also know that it is safe to allow others to support me without needing them to rescue or adopt me.
Every part of every chapter of my life is related to events in the past – positive and negative. Without all of those events I could not be experiencing the rich life I now have.
It does seem true, “All things work together for good …”
Words 550 Written October 10, 2016
As a licensed counselor I often work with or for individuals who are making use of a 12-step recovery program – AA, NA, GA, OA, SAA or one of the others based on the same 12 steps. If one reads their literature or attends a 12-step meeting one might hear that one often has to reach rock bottom before taking that leap of faith to explore a life free of the dependence on alcohol, another drug, food, sex or something else outside of oneself. What is rock bottom for one person might seem like “not too bad” for another person. Rock bottom becomes the beginning point for a much better life. I, too, have discovered what initially seemed like an acute negative event has become the start of a new, exciting and positive chapter in my life.
Knowing this does not keep me from feeling frightened when it seems as if the bottom has just fallen out of my life. I may have discovered that the person I was hoping to grow old with has been seeing another person for some time. It may be that my closest friend has died. It may be that I have had to leave a job where I had planned to remain until retirement. It may be that my closest friend has decided that they can no longer be friends with me. It may be that I had made careful plans to make major changes in my life and something has happened that makes it impossible to forward with my plans or resume my life as it was.
As a young man I was sure that each rock bottom occurrence was because of some failing or weakness in me. I would suffer through the event all alone and pretend that all was okay. At the same time, I expected friends to comfort me without having to ask for support or tell folks the nature of the problem or situation. At another stage in my life I sort of fell apart and expected someone to somehow super glue the pieces together again. In more recent years I have let friends know that I am having a difficult time and could use some support. I know now that I have to be very clear about what I want or need in the way of support. I used to give very mixed messages such as, “Well, if it is convenient it would be okay if ….” That response did not elicit much support.
Even though I still get anxious when a major event does not go as I had planned or when I am grieving a loss, I trust that, at some point, there will be a new beginning with new opportunities. The new beginning will not necessarily lessen the grief but it will open new doors. I also know that it is safe to allow others to support me without needing them to rescue or adopt me.
Every part of every chapter of my life is related to events in the past – positive and negative. Without all of those events I could not be experiencing the rich life I now have.
It does seem true, “All things work together for good …”
Words 550 Written October 10, 2016
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