Anger – Step 1
As promised I will write about how I use the 12 steps of AA and other addiction recovery programs to help me understand and reduce my anger.
Step 1 of the 12-step program of AA is: “We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.” Anger has a similar although not exactly the same affect on the brain as alcohol and other drugs. When one is experiencing or expressing anger, he or she is not using the thinking (cortex) part of the brain but the limbic center. Within the limbic system is the amygdala, a storehouse for emotional memories. It is also the part of the brain responsible for fight or flight instinct. Incoming data or stimuli pass through the amygdala where the decision is made to send the data to the limbic or cortex area of the brain. If the incoming data triggers enough of an emotional charge, the amygdala can override the cortex, which means the data is sent to the limbic system. The amygdala goes into action without much regard for the consequences. This has come to be called an amygdala hijacking. This then releases both short acting and long acting hormones causing a surge of energy and a fight or flight response. One is not now able to make logical decisions and may or say or do things they later regret. (For more information goggle “brain – anger”. One will get many hits including “ladkesidelink.com/blog/lakeside/how-does-anger-happen-in-the brain/” (I have paraphrased some of what is reported in this article.)
The two important things to understand is:
Often I hear myself or others saying, “They cannot deal with such and such” or labeling an event, in the world of my late friend Sam as “bigga deal”. For example a young friend of mine was unable to catch a flight for his spring vacation because of a storm affecting both traffic to the airport and all flights. Being young, it is not surprising that he experienced and labeled this as “bigga deal”. In time he may learn to label such events as “just a nuisance”. When he labeled it as a big deal he got anxious and also angry with himself or not leaving earlier for the airport.
The important point is once one labels an event as a big deal one is operating out of the limbic system. All possibility of logic is lost.
A person in recovery for addiction has to learn some new habits of thinking which will lead to new behavior. As long as one does not pick up that first drug or engage in that addictive behavior, one has the possibility of practicing just noticing one’s initial response to some stimuli (internal or external). One may then call one’s sponsor, write, and get to a safe place where the drug or addictive behavior is not available to one. One can then continuously reinforce the new truth about particular stimuli. We learn to respond to various situations and stimuli. Over time a habit is developed. If one’s response is an emotional one the limbic system is quickly engaged. For example the fact that I have no control over the behavior of others is not a big deal. I am old enough to have learned that in the end I have no control over whatever life presents. If I practice not labeling that lack of control as good or bad then I can retain some control over my response.
Between events I can practice telling myself new truths about events that I may have previously labeled “bigga deal”. This is, of course, a learning curve. The more I practice new truths between events, the less likely I will have a strong, negative emotional response. When, however, I have the habit of sending data straight to the limbic system I lose control over my response and am likely to do something which will create more garbage in my life. This garbage results in chaos in my life and my life becomes unmanageable.
Written March 3, 2018
As promised I will write about how I use the 12 steps of AA and other addiction recovery programs to help me understand and reduce my anger.
Step 1 of the 12-step program of AA is: “We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.” Anger has a similar although not exactly the same affect on the brain as alcohol and other drugs. When one is experiencing or expressing anger, he or she is not using the thinking (cortex) part of the brain but the limbic center. Within the limbic system is the amygdala, a storehouse for emotional memories. It is also the part of the brain responsible for fight or flight instinct. Incoming data or stimuli pass through the amygdala where the decision is made to send the data to the limbic or cortex area of the brain. If the incoming data triggers enough of an emotional charge, the amygdala can override the cortex, which means the data is sent to the limbic system. The amygdala goes into action without much regard for the consequences. This has come to be called an amygdala hijacking. This then releases both short acting and long acting hormones causing a surge of energy and a fight or flight response. One is not now able to make logical decisions and may or say or do things they later regret. (For more information goggle “brain – anger”. One will get many hits including “ladkesidelink.com/blog/lakeside/how-does-anger-happen-in-the brain/” (I have paraphrased some of what is reported in this article.)
The two important things to understand is:
- What is likely to trigger an emotional response?
- Does one want to continue to reinforce the seriousness of the reaction to a particular sort of event or does one want to practice new messages about such events?
Often I hear myself or others saying, “They cannot deal with such and such” or labeling an event, in the world of my late friend Sam as “bigga deal”. For example a young friend of mine was unable to catch a flight for his spring vacation because of a storm affecting both traffic to the airport and all flights. Being young, it is not surprising that he experienced and labeled this as “bigga deal”. In time he may learn to label such events as “just a nuisance”. When he labeled it as a big deal he got anxious and also angry with himself or not leaving earlier for the airport.
The important point is once one labels an event as a big deal one is operating out of the limbic system. All possibility of logic is lost.
A person in recovery for addiction has to learn some new habits of thinking which will lead to new behavior. As long as one does not pick up that first drug or engage in that addictive behavior, one has the possibility of practicing just noticing one’s initial response to some stimuli (internal or external). One may then call one’s sponsor, write, and get to a safe place where the drug or addictive behavior is not available to one. One can then continuously reinforce the new truth about particular stimuli. We learn to respond to various situations and stimuli. Over time a habit is developed. If one’s response is an emotional one the limbic system is quickly engaged. For example the fact that I have no control over the behavior of others is not a big deal. I am old enough to have learned that in the end I have no control over whatever life presents. If I practice not labeling that lack of control as good or bad then I can retain some control over my response.
Between events I can practice telling myself new truths about events that I may have previously labeled “bigga deal”. This is, of course, a learning curve. The more I practice new truths between events, the less likely I will have a strong, negative emotional response. When, however, I have the habit of sending data straight to the limbic system I lose control over my response and am likely to do something which will create more garbage in my life. This garbage results in chaos in my life and my life becomes unmanageable.
Written March 3, 2018
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