Anger – Step 12
Step 12 of the 12-step program is simple and very clear. It says: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others (addicts, alcoholics, over eaters, neighbors, etc.), and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
Let’s again leave the issue of the concept of God aside and not complicate the idea of what might it mean to have had a spiritual awakening as a result of working the other 11 steps to change our relationship with anger. For me spiritual at the very least means
Often when are at peace with our own journey others will notice and ask how this is possible. After all, life shows up for all of us. For some it seems as if one is forced to focus on the negatives of this journey. They may think that the only way to stop being overwhelmed with negatives is to shut down emotionally. One can certainly use anger to avoid feeling overwhelmed with grief. The problem is, of course, that we still experience the grief and we are also alone. Not everyone understands the mixture of intense grief and joy at a wake or occasionally at a funeral home viewing. The comfort and joy of sharing one’s grief and memories is wonderful.
Much has been written about the report of many that the time following a disaster in a community is often the most joyful, spiritual time people have known. Many report that for the first time in a very long time people have time to comfort and help each other. For the first time in a long time it feels like a community.
We can share our journey with others just by being lovingly present while not hiding our grief or our joy. If others ask how we did this we can share our method of staying intentionally present.
The challenge is, of course, to practice these principles in all our affairs. Sometimes I am not sure whether I am helping or rescuing a person. I may not be sure if I am doing something for them or with them. I certainly do not want to treat others as if they are helpless or without worth and, yet, I do not want to ignore that we all sometimes need a hand up. If I am not sure what is helpful, I need to talk it over with a trusted friend, mentor or other member of my “we”.
Always I have to accept that if I am not intentionally doing all I can to grow spiritually I will revert to old ways of using anger and blaming other people, places and things.
Written March 17, 2018
Step 12 of the 12-step program is simple and very clear. It says: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others (addicts, alcoholics, over eaters, neighbors, etc.), and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
Let’s again leave the issue of the concept of God aside and not complicate the idea of what might it mean to have had a spiritual awakening as a result of working the other 11 steps to change our relationship with anger. For me spiritual at the very least means
- I am more aware that we are all human and rather than striking out at each other we all win if we focus on building a more loving and just world together.
- Other people, places and things are not responsible for my anger. I have a choice about how to respond to all people and situations.
- I do not need to expect myself to be perfect but I can get better at noticing my anger before acting on it.
- When I do get angry and dump it on another person(s) I can immediately attempt to make amends.
- It is safe to let go of anger as a shield and to allow some others to see my vulnerability.
- Winning could mean doing my best to be a loving person towards others, Mother Nature and myself.
- I can practice the serenity prayer daily or even hourly!
Often when are at peace with our own journey others will notice and ask how this is possible. After all, life shows up for all of us. For some it seems as if one is forced to focus on the negatives of this journey. They may think that the only way to stop being overwhelmed with negatives is to shut down emotionally. One can certainly use anger to avoid feeling overwhelmed with grief. The problem is, of course, that we still experience the grief and we are also alone. Not everyone understands the mixture of intense grief and joy at a wake or occasionally at a funeral home viewing. The comfort and joy of sharing one’s grief and memories is wonderful.
Much has been written about the report of many that the time following a disaster in a community is often the most joyful, spiritual time people have known. Many report that for the first time in a very long time people have time to comfort and help each other. For the first time in a long time it feels like a community.
We can share our journey with others just by being lovingly present while not hiding our grief or our joy. If others ask how we did this we can share our method of staying intentionally present.
The challenge is, of course, to practice these principles in all our affairs. Sometimes I am not sure whether I am helping or rescuing a person. I may not be sure if I am doing something for them or with them. I certainly do not want to treat others as if they are helpless or without worth and, yet, I do not want to ignore that we all sometimes need a hand up. If I am not sure what is helpful, I need to talk it over with a trusted friend, mentor or other member of my “we”.
Always I have to accept that if I am not intentionally doing all I can to grow spiritually I will revert to old ways of using anger and blaming other people, places and things.
Written March 17, 2018
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