Anger – Step 7
Step 7 of the 12 step program is “Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.” Once again for those who continue to struggle with a concept of a God of one’s understanding, it is important to give oneself permission to ask for help from those that one trusts to love one unconditionally and, thus who will hold one accountable.
As is true for all behavioral and cognitive habits, change is an ongoing process. Thus, step 7 is not mandate to sit back like a lump of coal and wait for the God of one’s understanding, another person, or the personification of the zombie to snatch one’s character defects and then burn them in the communal garbage dump. I may pray to the God of my understanding, “Here is my hateful anger. I no longer need or want it.” Five minutes later I might then say (verbally or non-verbally), “Excuse me, I did not mean to give away all of my anger. In this new situation I need anger. That is all the other person is going to understand. They are evil and deserve to be told how much harm they have caused. If they would just have done what they needed to do then I would not be angry. After all, I was very kind, did my spiritual work and they just goofed off.” One is quickly reminded of the story, a version of which most religions teach, of the prodigal son and his brother. One brother wants to remind his father that he has worked hard while his brother has spent all his inheritance on various addictive behaviors. The “righteous” brother says about his father’s decision to prepare a feast for his wayward brother, “You are mean and unfair. I might as well do the same as him.” The father chooses to remind the son who stayed at home that he always has him but the family needs to rejoice for the son who was lost and then found. I, too, can be very self righteous and judgmental.
We ask the God of our understanding to remove our shortcomings over and over again. Many of us keep discovering new justifications or excuses to take back our anger. Then we return to steps 6 and 7. We have to keep asking ourselves if we are entirely read to have “God” remove all these defects of character
Someone this morning talked about those who keep working a 12 step program or some other spiritual program even after 20 or 30 or 40 years. I suggested that we keep daily working a program of spiritual growth because we know how easy it is to get off balance. Either we are moving forward or backwards. We are never standing still. Every day the prayer/the intentional commitment is the same, humbly commit to letting go of our anger and other shortcomings - Every day humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings
The first word of this intention/prayer is “humbly”. For me the word humbly means that daily I am making peace with my humanness and, thus, able to admit that I could easily return to the hurtful use of anger. As a human I am capable of being a very loving, creative, responsible, fun being and I am capable of slipping back into being an irresponsible, mean, hurtful, self-centered, and emotionally distant being.
Just for today, I humbly ask the God of my understanding to remove my anger.
(I am finding many of the You tube videos about working the steps very helpful.)
Written March 12, 2018
Step 7 of the 12 step program is “Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.” Once again for those who continue to struggle with a concept of a God of one’s understanding, it is important to give oneself permission to ask for help from those that one trusts to love one unconditionally and, thus who will hold one accountable.
As is true for all behavioral and cognitive habits, change is an ongoing process. Thus, step 7 is not mandate to sit back like a lump of coal and wait for the God of one’s understanding, another person, or the personification of the zombie to snatch one’s character defects and then burn them in the communal garbage dump. I may pray to the God of my understanding, “Here is my hateful anger. I no longer need or want it.” Five minutes later I might then say (verbally or non-verbally), “Excuse me, I did not mean to give away all of my anger. In this new situation I need anger. That is all the other person is going to understand. They are evil and deserve to be told how much harm they have caused. If they would just have done what they needed to do then I would not be angry. After all, I was very kind, did my spiritual work and they just goofed off.” One is quickly reminded of the story, a version of which most religions teach, of the prodigal son and his brother. One brother wants to remind his father that he has worked hard while his brother has spent all his inheritance on various addictive behaviors. The “righteous” brother says about his father’s decision to prepare a feast for his wayward brother, “You are mean and unfair. I might as well do the same as him.” The father chooses to remind the son who stayed at home that he always has him but the family needs to rejoice for the son who was lost and then found. I, too, can be very self righteous and judgmental.
We ask the God of our understanding to remove our shortcomings over and over again. Many of us keep discovering new justifications or excuses to take back our anger. Then we return to steps 6 and 7. We have to keep asking ourselves if we are entirely read to have “God” remove all these defects of character
Someone this morning talked about those who keep working a 12 step program or some other spiritual program even after 20 or 30 or 40 years. I suggested that we keep daily working a program of spiritual growth because we know how easy it is to get off balance. Either we are moving forward or backwards. We are never standing still. Every day the prayer/the intentional commitment is the same, humbly commit to letting go of our anger and other shortcomings - Every day humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings
The first word of this intention/prayer is “humbly”. For me the word humbly means that daily I am making peace with my humanness and, thus, able to admit that I could easily return to the hurtful use of anger. As a human I am capable of being a very loving, creative, responsible, fun being and I am capable of slipping back into being an irresponsible, mean, hurtful, self-centered, and emotionally distant being.
Just for today, I humbly ask the God of my understanding to remove my anger.
(I am finding many of the You tube videos about working the steps very helpful.)
Written March 12, 2018
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