Anxiety to fear to paranoia to peace
Many of us and particularly those living in countries or regions where covid-19 has been out of control have found ourselves increasingly anxious and even fearful. There is a general feeling of “dis ease” and a feeling of being disconnected from/with each other. Most of know that there will be an end to this stage of living so isolated from each other. We also know that while it is healthy to have a profound respect for the virus, we need to be creative in taking care of each other.
There are others who experience covid-19 against the backdrop of a more generalized fear which has, for many, escalated to paranoia. Oxford dictionary defines paranoia as “a mental illness in which a person wrongly believes that other people are trying to harm them….
There are a significant number of people in the United States who sincerely believe that we, as a nation, can only be great again, under the leadership of Donald Trump, who believe his accusations that Joe Biden is becoming president only because of extreme dishonestly and outright voter fraud/dishonestly. Many of these same people believe that only Caucasian, Christian individuals who were born in this country or who were lucky enough to be eligible, rich enough and safe enough to use the limited legal immigration channels available deserve to be in this country. These same people have often come to believe that there was a time in which the United States (America) was great; a time in which racism, sexism, homophobia and a clear enemy was “acceptable”. This was also a time commonly referred to as the cold war; a time during which the connection between nicotine use of cancer was less clear; a time in which fossil fuel jobs were plentiful, labor unions strong and climate change was not recognized. It was also a time when Jim Crow was still very acceptable, our heroes included confederate soldiers and Native Americans were thought to be content with entertaining the white folks with their colorful costumes and dances. It was also a time when the audience for Richard Wright, James Baldwin, and Eleanor Roosevelt was limited to a few radicals or as one Vice President expressed effete snobs.
Once a person or more importantly a group of people sincerely believe a set of beliefs, no amount of evidence will soften or lessen their beliefs. Any attempt to correct thinking will only be received as more proof that one’s values and way of life is being targeted . It is easy to then generalize the fear to a variety of issues. Universal health care becomes socialism. Socialism becomes anti-Christian even if His teachings were very socialistic. Inclusivity becomes contamination or dilution. Powerful women become anti-family. Finally, covid-19 becomes “man-made” weapon of the Chinese and vaccines another way to control the population. At this stage, fear has grown to a stage of paranoia – the danger is life threatening and must be stopped at all costs. It is now easy to convince oneself that storming the capital is one’s patriotic duty, that covid-19 vaccines are an attempt to control people, and “those not with us are against us”. At this stage any attempt to have a civil and constructive discussion is futile.
The danger is that one will attempt to use the normal rules of logic to set the stage for a discission. It is not happening. What one can do is to treat the fearful person with enormous respect; to honor the fear without agreeing to the basis for it; to identify and focus on those areas of agreement we all share with each other. We all want to be good parents, to have a safe home for our family, to have a peaceful meal, and to be treated with love and respect. One does not want to be called names, to be patronized, or to told they are mentally ill. One does not want to be told what to do but might respond to invitations.
Regaining trust – the central issue – is often a slow, painstaking process. Anyone who has lost and regained the trust of a best friend – perhaps one’s spouse -knows it takes patience, love, respect, and consistent trusting behavior to regain that trust. There are many in this country who have lost trust in the democratic process. We must do all we can to regain that trust. Negative punishing talk will not accomplish that purpose.
Written January 11, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Many of us and particularly those living in countries or regions where covid-19 has been out of control have found ourselves increasingly anxious and even fearful. There is a general feeling of “dis ease” and a feeling of being disconnected from/with each other. Most of know that there will be an end to this stage of living so isolated from each other. We also know that while it is healthy to have a profound respect for the virus, we need to be creative in taking care of each other.
There are others who experience covid-19 against the backdrop of a more generalized fear which has, for many, escalated to paranoia. Oxford dictionary defines paranoia as “a mental illness in which a person wrongly believes that other people are trying to harm them….
There are a significant number of people in the United States who sincerely believe that we, as a nation, can only be great again, under the leadership of Donald Trump, who believe his accusations that Joe Biden is becoming president only because of extreme dishonestly and outright voter fraud/dishonestly. Many of these same people believe that only Caucasian, Christian individuals who were born in this country or who were lucky enough to be eligible, rich enough and safe enough to use the limited legal immigration channels available deserve to be in this country. These same people have often come to believe that there was a time in which the United States (America) was great; a time in which racism, sexism, homophobia and a clear enemy was “acceptable”. This was also a time commonly referred to as the cold war; a time during which the connection between nicotine use of cancer was less clear; a time in which fossil fuel jobs were plentiful, labor unions strong and climate change was not recognized. It was also a time when Jim Crow was still very acceptable, our heroes included confederate soldiers and Native Americans were thought to be content with entertaining the white folks with their colorful costumes and dances. It was also a time when the audience for Richard Wright, James Baldwin, and Eleanor Roosevelt was limited to a few radicals or as one Vice President expressed effete snobs.
Once a person or more importantly a group of people sincerely believe a set of beliefs, no amount of evidence will soften or lessen their beliefs. Any attempt to correct thinking will only be received as more proof that one’s values and way of life is being targeted . It is easy to then generalize the fear to a variety of issues. Universal health care becomes socialism. Socialism becomes anti-Christian even if His teachings were very socialistic. Inclusivity becomes contamination or dilution. Powerful women become anti-family. Finally, covid-19 becomes “man-made” weapon of the Chinese and vaccines another way to control the population. At this stage, fear has grown to a stage of paranoia – the danger is life threatening and must be stopped at all costs. It is now easy to convince oneself that storming the capital is one’s patriotic duty, that covid-19 vaccines are an attempt to control people, and “those not with us are against us”. At this stage any attempt to have a civil and constructive discussion is futile.
The danger is that one will attempt to use the normal rules of logic to set the stage for a discission. It is not happening. What one can do is to treat the fearful person with enormous respect; to honor the fear without agreeing to the basis for it; to identify and focus on those areas of agreement we all share with each other. We all want to be good parents, to have a safe home for our family, to have a peaceful meal, and to be treated with love and respect. One does not want to be called names, to be patronized, or to told they are mentally ill. One does not want to be told what to do but might respond to invitations.
Regaining trust – the central issue – is often a slow, painstaking process. Anyone who has lost and regained the trust of a best friend – perhaps one’s spouse -knows it takes patience, love, respect, and consistent trusting behavior to regain that trust. There are many in this country who have lost trust in the democratic process. We must do all we can to regain that trust. Negative punishing talk will not accomplish that purpose.
Written January 11, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
RSS Feed