​Lenten Meditations - #`15
 
I have often been reminded by those much wiser I need to trust that I will always get what I need to grow spiritually.   The teacher may be a person – adult or child – from whom I least expected to learn.  The lesson may be the one I least wanted to hear.   Earlier this morning. I was reminding myself to “Let go and let God.”   I was, once again,  confronting the fact that I am powerless over people, places and things.   Specifically,  I was and am aware that I am powerless over someone who is in active addiction. 
 
A little later I consulted the web page of the Sisters of Saint Mary of Namur to read the Gospel reading for this day of Lent.  It is Luke 16:19-31 which is the parable of Lazarus and the rich man.  The rich man wants relief from the fire of Hades.  Abraham says this is not possible.  Then the rich man wants Abraham to send Lazarus to warm his brothers what they need to do to avoid Hades when they die.   Abraham replies if the brothers cannot listen to Moses and the Prophets they will not listen to a dead person.”
 
In this season of Lent I am often reminded that I have and continue to daily ignore teachers and the lessons they bring.   Perhaps I have already decided that so and so is not perfect and cannot possibly have any wisdom to which I need to listen.   Despite my best attempts to quit putting others in neat little boxes I continue to do so.  I recall one day attending a forum at a local University.   There was a man next to me dressed in jeans and a tee shirt which barely covered what appeared to be a rather substantial beer belly.  When he began asking questions I was not even listening having decided that it was unlikely that he would have anything to say to which I needed to attend.  Then, despite my prejudicial assumption, I heard him asking the most astute and poignant questions that were asked that day.     Another day, when my office  was next to  a place which fed and provided other services for the homeless,  my most loving and helpful teachers were homeless men and women.
 
The older I get the more aware I am that this life journey is very brief.  Not much matters except how well one gives and receives love.  The teachings of Jesus and Buddha are very clear on this subject.    History is also a very poignant reminder of this fact.   Yet, time after time, I find myself fretting about people, places and things over which I have no control. I do have control about how honest I am with myself and others about my own shortcomings.   I do have control over being more intentional about noticing how often I judge others. I do have control over how I choose to use the gift of time today.  I do have control over how well I choose to listen to the wise teachers who surround me.  I do have control over whether I choose to trust the god of my understanding. I do have control over whether I choose to embrace every experience as an opportunity to learn. I do have control over listening to the teachers who are gifted to me every day.
 
Written March 21, 2019
Jimmy F. Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 

Lenten Meditations - #14
 
I have been exploring  various resources to guide me in my mediations during Lent.  Many begin with suggestions of scripture passages from the New Testament. Today New Testament Gospel suggestion is Matthew 20;20-23.  In these brief passages the mother of Zebedee asks Jesus if one of her sons can “sit at his right and the other at your left in your kingdom”.   Jesus than ask the mother is she can drink from his cup.  She replies yes. Then Jesus tells her that  she will drink from his cup but that his father will assign the place settings. 
 
Many of us can identify with the desire to protect our children and the attempt to make sure that they are surrounded by people who will not only love and care for them, but treat them as special.  Who can fault a parent who as these desires?   Of course, the problem is twofold:
 

• It is not our job to direct the life of our adult children.  In fact, we have a lot less control over our young children then we would like.
• Every person is somebody’s child.  All parents who have been blessed with a modicum of health want to know that their children will be loved and honored long after they, the parents, are dead.

 
Nothing is more heart breaking than for a parent to bear witness to the  physical or emotional death of their children.  When parents find out that that their children not only are not sitting on the left or right of the most important person at the table, they may become angry and judgmental of other parent’s who have seemingly bought their own children a place at the table.
 
We humans often make decisions about  the place settings at the community table based on labels others have assigned to individuals  - even our children.  Felon, criminal, addict, mentally ill, developmentally disabled, crook, liberal, conservative, sexual offender, fat, female, member of the LGBT community, immigrant, non-white/Caucasian, pedophile (often used incorrectly), homeless, smelly, belonging to a particular religion and many others. All these labels which disqualifies one from a seat at the table.
 
The implication is that “those people” or “that individual with that label” is not like my son or daughter.  Even if our child has been assigned that label we parent often defend their integrity and shout out how he or she is not like the others with that label.
 
In this season of Lent those of us who use the framework of the Christian religion are often  caught in the tension between the confronting illusion of the use of the labels for the children of others and the challenge of knowing the no one fits the labels – positive or negative. We are all more than and less than the labels.   We are all the mirrors for others and others are the mirrors for us.
 
We hide behind the  wall of self-righteousness and call for transparency from the Church or other public figures so that we do not have to face the fear that tomorrow our sins of commission and omission will be revealed.  We cry for justice hoping that our secrets will not be made public before we are given our place at the table.   We say we just want justice and a safer community for our children when, in fact, we want the illusion of safety by protecting our children from “those sinners” – those criminals.  We pray for healing and redemption while doing all we can to ensure that the officially labeled ones  are permanently excluded from the table.   We know that the leopards cannot change their spots unless we are the parent of the leopard.
 
Once again, in this season of lent we are faced with the challenge of acceptance of our own humanness which will demand forgiveness or damnation for all. We  pray for our own redemption and promise to love our enemy and treat others as we want to be treated except for those others.
 
Who will we invite to sit at the table?   Who will accept the invitation to sit at the table knowing many will be excluded?
 
 
Written March 20, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

​Meditations on Lent - #13
 
In the New Testament used by the Christian tradition Matthew writes that Jesus says, “…Whoever wants to be great among you shall be your servant.”  (Matthew 20:26)  Earlier in Matthew Jesus is alleged to have told a parable indicating that the last shall first and the first shall be last.  The parable tells the story of a landowner paying the same to the workers who started work early that  day and the ones who started much earlier in the day. The workers who began early in the day were not happy about having worked all day and only getting paid the same small amount as those who had worked a much shorter day.   They obviously felt that their work was devalued. The person paying the worker defends himself by saying it is his money and he has the right to do what he wants with his money.
 
The assumptions of the workers who worked all day seem to be:
 

• One only works or serves because of the reward.
• Is fair for those who, for whatever reason, were able to start work early to get paid more.

 
It seems that nothing much has changed.  Often, we hear workers grumbling because as base pay is increased over time many new workers are getting the same amount as those who are young and just started.  It does not seem to matter that the pay is low or relatively low for everyone. 
 
When humans were organized in small groups and all resources were shared around a common table life was much simpler. Yet I suspect, even then, there were some in the community who, at times, felt as if they did more of the work and deserved more food, furs, food, the larger abode or the best-looking partner.
 
Since recorded time, humans have been striving in one way or another to be  recognized as first and rewarded as the most valuable.  Worth is often determined by how much status, money, awards, or other symbols of material and social success one attains. Even in many churches and clearly in many Christian Churches one’s importance is indicated by salary, costume,  title or the size of one’s congregation.  There are exceptions of course. Mother Theresa was esteemed by the magnitude for the service she organized and provided for some of the most vulnerable humans. The fact that she was a woman who openly struggled with her faith at times only added to the admiration many had and have for this saint.  Yet, there are many saints among us who live a very quiet, largely unnoticed, poorly paid, if paid at all, life of service.  Whether they are a single parent of biological children, a foster parent who gives 12 fold what they are paid to do, the one who consistently shows up early to make coffee for the 12 step meeting attendees, a nurse who quietly gives 200 % and does not see it as work, the volunteer who stays in the background serving at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen, a business owner who keeps track of the struggles and special needs of those working in the business and quietly offers assistance or an encouraging word, they are the some of the last who shall be first. Perhaps the janitor who knows all the students in the school and always makes times to  listen or the physician who find a way to serve mainly an underserved population such as Medicaid recipients, the LBGT community, immigrants fleeing violence and treated as criminals by some officials in the United States, or those finding a way to make quality childcare more affordable for the lowest paid workers are some of the last who shall be first.
 
As we teach our children this Lenten season what will we tell them about why “the last shall be first and the first shall be last or “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.”?    How shall we motivate them to serve if they do not have the requisite expensive athletic shoes, the latest video game or a smart phone? How shall we motivate them to study hard  and learn to be physicians, farmers, carpenters, public servants, janitors, or  heavy equipment operators if they are not receiving significantly more money and more honors?  How shall we explain that those from the “wrong side of the track” might be just as deserving as  those from “the right side of the track”?  How shall we explain that hard work does not necessarily reap tangible rewards?
 
Perhaps this could be an important and fun dinner conversation for families this Lenten season. Perhaps as we struggle with the possible meaning of this teaching we will find the peace of humility.
 
March 19, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org

Meditations on Lent- #12
 
One of the podcasts to which I regularly listen is The Moth Radio Hour on which individual tell stories in front of a live audience – stories which relay a slice of life of one individual which are the stories of all of us.  Only the stage set changes.   Some of these stories are also available in the soon to be released book Occasional Magic.  One of those stories is told by Anna Del Castillo. a writer, speaker, life coach, actress and singer.   The slice of life she shares and which the reader can listen to is about her emotional death following the murder of her father and brother.  Although the murder was tragic, the greater tragedy was prior to their death she was angry and did not let them  know she loved them.  Eventually she comes to realize that “when you do not give love it rots inside of you.”  I immediately thought this one sentence perfectly encapsulates the Easter message; the perfect directions for Christians to prepare for Lent; the perfect direction for Buddhists to get ready to meet the Buddha; the perfect way for anyone to meet or draw close to the God of one’s understanding.
 
When I think of love I think of connections; of open doors and windows; of new life; of what we know of the universe(s); of what we know about the seeming paradoxes of the laws of physics; of what we know of the power of music to draw forth the depth of pain, joy, despair and ecstasy; of what we know of the price for not allowing love to enter or leave our being.
 
Fear builds walls of anger, hate and resentment.   These walls destroy from the inside out filling all the space one inhabits with the stench of decay.  Often one hears people say that they can smell, taste, touch fear or cut it with a knife.  Fear hides the details of our secrets.  People in the 12-step program often state that one is only as sick as one’s secrets.  Secrets breed shame and insist on walls on which to deposit one’s shame; walls that keep one separate and without the breath of life.    Shame tells one that one cannot trust another with one’s love; that one stands in the path of danger; that one must protect oneself from the truth of rejection by first rejecting; that one must destroy the other before the other hammers the final nail.
 
The message of Easter; the example of Jesus; the words of the Buddha; the march of civil rights workers who are threatened with walls of violence; the voice of those caring for the immigrants fleeing violence; the cry of those calling for the end of the death penalty; the voice of reparative justice shouts:
 
Let go of hate. Let go of resentment.  Let go of fear. Let go of judgment. Let go of all the walls which keep love rotting from the inside out.  Let love escape one’s heart and one’s lips.
 
A necessary step towards reconnection with oneself and others is to repent; to open to the regret, remorse or contrition.
 
Oxford Dictionary states that the word repent is “from the Old French repentir, from re- (expressing intensive force) + pentir (based on Latin paenitere cause to repent’ “
 
When I envision or conjure up a sense of regret I think of a heart open to the possibility of a relationship to the whole of creation; to the possibility that to be fully human means to honor this connection. The choices are then a rejection of one’s humanity or a rejection of the humanity of the other. In the end one cannot do one without the other.  This is what one usually means when one uses the word humility – to surrender to the reality of one’s humanness which encompasses all of humanity – all of creation.
 
“When we do not give love, it rots inside you.”  When we withhold love we rot; all of creation rots.  This is the crucifixion of the spirit.  If God is pure spirit this is the crucifixion of God.
 
Written March 18, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
 

​Meditations on Lent - #11
Sunday Musings
 
On this second Sunday of Lent in the Christian Calendar I am acutely aware that for much of my childhood and a good portion of my early adulthood repentance was motivated by fear.  Not just on Sunday. but every day of the week the god of my understanding had nothing better to do than track and score every thought and action which was not focused on what a terrible sinner I was.  Since it was a given that I was a miserable, no good sinner my only hope for redemption was to dress myself in sack cloth and ashes and beg for forgiveness.  Of course, the paradox is that the more one believes one is unworthy the more one behaves in a way which keeps love distant.  One is so focused on acceptance of one’s unworthiness that one is not present with the god of one’s understanding, other people or focused on doing the best one can do for today
 
I was well into adulthood  before I understood that it was because of my worthiness that I could focus on being my best self.  I did not have to earn my worthiness.  My!  What a difference this makes.
 
Seth Godin in his blog today reminds the reader that “Neither resilience nor tolerance get better on their own.”   He also says: “The trap?  Hoping for one, the other or both but not doing the work to make it likely.”
 
The problem is, of course, that it is difficult, if not impossible, to find the strength to practice resilience and tolerance if one has no hope that one can get better. This holds true for simple tasks and for how we love and take care of ourselves and each other.  If no matter what or how much one does one is going to be unworthy it is neigh impossible to find the strength to do practice resilience or tolerance. 
 
As most readers know I work with and for many who are struggling with addiction to alcohol, other drugs, power, money, sex or food.   They arrive in recovery very often saying that they never felt as if they fit in or belonged anywhere. They have zero self-esteem.  They are lacking in the key belief which is necessary to begin the slow process of claiming the life they deserve.  For those who explore the 12-step program as a framework for healing others in the program will promise to love them until he or she can love themselves.
 
This is the promise of Easter; of new life; of Spring.  We let go of behavior which is self-defeating and does not lead to love and connection.   We take the leap of faith that we are worthy; that with tender care and faith the spring flowers will blossom; the bird will visits and we will be our best selves.
 
Written March 17, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coacpickett.org

Meditations on Lent - #10
 
One who is loved
 
Approaching Easter this season of lent
 
I find myself thinking of the one whom Jesus loved
 
the one of the disciples  mentioned five times by John
 
the one who laid or leaned on the breast of Jesus.
 
Southern Baptist childhood  ministers would
 
attempt to pray away the sin of suggesting that Jesus
 
experienced the special love of anyone
 
let alone another man.


Presbyterian pastors would point to the sky with their noses
 
demonstrating the distain of those who can strut sitting down.
 
As we approach the time of the cross I am hopeful that Jesus
 
experienced the swell of love which sends the heart of a 33-year-old soaring,
 
 eyes twinkling and lips widening.
 
Fully man was Jesus we are told
 
yet, the suggestion of a
 
physical love seems blasphemous to many.
 
I like envisioning a special love for Jesus
 
a head lying on his breast.
 
I like thinking he felt that love deep within his human body
 
before betrayal steals that physical body
 
before the nails pierce his flesh
 
before he is placed in the tomb.
 
 
Written March 16, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org

​Lenten Meditations - #9
 
As we move through this Lenten season we can contemplate how we might design a more effective way of approaching medical care in the United States; a way which approximates the teachings of Jesus, specifically the teaching to “Do unto others as we would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31).”  This teaching is consistent in most religions and philosophies and certainly for  those of us who want to use the Christian framework to discern and design a more just health care system in the United States.
 
We have also known for years that many health care providers., including pharmaceutical companies,  in the United States:
 

• Blame  research costs for the high price of some medications even when a medication was originally developed to treat one illness and then discovered to be effective for another illness. 
• Rebrand some medications such as the epi pen which  have been around for years in a way which allows them to manipulate the patent laws to charge outrageous prices.
• Overcharge for medications or services so as to make a profit or to offset the cost of services for which they cannot get adequately reimbursed.
• Blame the high cost of medical education for the life time of high rates by some physicians – especially some specialty physicians
• Pander to patients who have been convinced that there is a pill which will allow them to avoid the tedious business of a slower, safer, long term treatment and basic good health care practices
• Support a health care system when promotes or encourages litigation which benefits no. one long term although some attorneys gain some short-term benefits.

 
The current health care systems provide limited benefits to patients and providers, is expensive and some might argue  stressful for most providers and patients.
 
The base of many pieces of the health care system is competitive  profit no matter how it affects the consumer.   Profits can  morph into greed which  has as its base the desire to prove one’s worth by having more status, stuff, or more  gross financial worth.
.
 
We also know
 

• Punishment is not an effective deterrent against greed.
• Greed is a desire to use money to disconnect from one’s core self and from others. It is often seen as a measure of success. 
• Success is often now formulated in terms  of money, status, gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation.
• Success can be formulated as a spiritual principle.

 
 

• Application of spiritual principles must be experienced as belonging to a community which values everyone’s worth, talents  and use of those talents
• No one should  be punished for being ill  or limited in  physical or mental ability.
• Spiritual health is  the base which must be addressed if we are going to design and implement a health care system which is just, maximally effective and less stressful for providers and patients.  
• Spiritual health has to  taught beginning at a very young age.
• Spiritual health/core values  can and need to be explored in schools as well as modeled by parents and community leaders.

 
 
Written March 14, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​Lenten Meditations - # 8
 
I was having a conversation with a dear friend one morning  this week  and we lovingly agreed to disagree.   The topic was the role of business (including leaders) when an employee has a medical problem and cannot work for an extended time.   He remarked that you cannot give something for nothing. If an employee is not working then one should not pay them.  Some employers may have insurance which covers short term disability while someone is getting treatment.  Some may be able to afford a generous paid sick leave policy.  Some organization have many employees who donate paid sick days off for the sick person to use.   Small businesses, however, may not have any of these options. Yet, I have known small businesses who found a way to pay the sick person and continue to function while an employee was getting treatment or overseeing the treatment of a family member.  Obviously, this can create a hardship, especially since the workload of the sick employee must be carried by the remaining employees or even employee.   Some might argue that this is unfair to the remaining employees.  I would argue that it is not a matter of fairness or unfairness.  I would argue that we are our brother’s or sister’s keepers. 
 
My personal experience is that when one is kind to another person; that when one treats others as one wants to be treated all works out in the long run.  When one is committed to doing the next right thing just because it is the next right thing one has a feeling of inner peace which no one can take from one.  
 
The interesting thing is that the friend with whom I was talking and who suggested one cannot give something for nothing is, in his personal life, extraordinarily generous.  He often helps others expecting nothing in return just because they are a human being.  Yet, he balks at the suggestion that employers should pay someone a salary when they are unable to work because of a medical condition.   I am not sure why this is. Even in his business dealings he is often generous with his time and money.  
 
Often, I talk to business people who believe that the rules for how one treats others in business dealings  should be different than how functions in one’s private life.    The excuse or reason given is that “This is business.”  as if this explains or justifies treating each other as less than.   I have heard the argument that one must do whatever one can to keep the business running. If the business gives away more than it can afford the business will fold and all the employees will be without a job and, thus, without money to care for themselves and their family members.   Yet I believe that often when humans are 100% committed to a goal they find a way to achieve that goal.
 
I do not recall Jesus suggesting that humans treat each other one way in a business setting and another way in a personal setting. I agree it is a challenge for humans – especially this human – to apply the teachings of Jesus in all aspects of one’s life.   It may be a bigger challenge to do so and  not feel as if one is  sacrificing something to follow this path – a challenge to not fall into the trap of thinking one is a martyr.
 
I never want to give from an attitude of degrading pity.  That does not feel good to the giver or the receiver.  I do believe that all people have something valuable to give back.  As Father Greg Boyle says what the person may be giving back is ourselves – a piece of ourselves.  This does not mean I want to give expecting something back, but I want to give with an openness to the gifts which are returned to me in whatever form they arrive.
 
Written March 14, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 

​Meditations on Lent - # 7
 
Jesus is said to have suggested that unless we become as little children we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.  (Matthew 18:3). Other stories of Jesus call attention to his easy relationship with children.  Many of us spend the first part of our life aspiring and pretending to behave in a way we learn to think of adult,.   We spend the next part of our life in this adult costume.   In the later part of our life many of us reclaim the  simple joy of doing what makes sense to us – exploring the world, opening to new experiences and allowing  love  to direct much of our behavior.   Young children  are not racist, sexist, homophobic, easily embarrassed, shameful or afraid to make mistakes. They experience the world through their senses of taste, sight, hearing and touch.  They explore what happens when they interact with various parts of the universe.   They are quick to express displeasure and joy.  They forgive easily unless one is withholding something they don’t yet  understand why they cannot have; what they want now.   In many respects young children are very giving and in other ways they can be very self-centered.  They have not yet learned how their behavior affects the entirety of the universe.  
 
I suspect Jesus was not suggesting that we give up some of our adult ability to take care of ourselves and others. I do suspect that he was suggesting:
 

• Don't take oneself so seriously.
• Stay open to  embracing life on life’s terms.
• Experience life passionately.
• Forget all the isms which artificially divide us humans.
• Be delighted with yourself, others and all of nature.
• Forget  many if not most of the adult rules for “proper behavior”
• Don’t complicate love.
• Don’t hold on to anger or judgments- be quick to forgive.

 
When I think of the promise of the kingdom of heaven I am again reminded of children who seem to instinctively know that heaven is experienced in the moment and encompasses the universe.  Children do not experience time as adult do.  There is only the moment.  When a child opens himself or herself to the fulness of the moment he or she is experiencing being a part of all of creation- a creation which knows no limits, withholds no passions, and cannot distinguish the whole from the sum of its parts. 
 
In this Lenten season perhaps, we could practice giving without keeping score; practice loving without comparing sins; practice embracing every human regardless of gender, wealth, position, pedigree, sexual orientations, or religion; practice being free with “I’m sorry” and practice celebrating the wonder of mother nature. 
 
A young man with $40.00 in his bank account called me this afternoon.   He was in a store when the woman in front of him was attempting to count out small coins to pay for a $5.00 purchase. He quickly, without thinking about how poor he was, handed the clerk his bank card and when I talked to him had no regrets.  This same young man is living in his vehicle.  He sometimes forgets to use some adult skills and ends up with new challenges, but his heart is intact.  He did not attribute his action to any religious dogma or philosophical belief system. He simply knew the right thing to do was to hand over his bank card to the clerk.  This young man is at that moment as close to my concept of heaven as  possible – as connected to the universe as any adult who has allowed himself or herself to become as a little child.
 
Written March 13, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org

​Meditations on Lent - #6
 
The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America publishes a Lenten Study Guide as do many other Christian Churches.   In week 1 of the guide the reader is reminded:  “Through the four practices of Lent – repentance, prayer and fasting, sacrificial giving, and works of love – we turn inward so that we may turn outward, toward God and our neighbors.”
 
Often, I read one or more brief spiritual reminders at the beginning of each day before  I check in with friends via the internet and then head to the gym.   My goal is to attempt to begin the day with the clear spiritual intention of being an actor.   It is very easy for me to become a reactor who allows life to happen to him.  
 
Grandma Fannie often reminded her grandchildren and others, “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.”   I was thinking of this reminder as I reread the “four practices of Lent” and contemplated my spiritual intention for the day.  If my guide is to do unto others what I would them do to me is there really any such thing as sacrificial giving?  Do us humans long term reap what we sew?
 
In the local newspaper I read reports of those who have been arrested and who are spoken about as if they were worse than or less then the “good people of the community”.  It does not take much for one of us to be suddenly snatched from the good box and thrust into the bad box.  One of those about who I read this morning was an official of a nearby community who was arrested for driving under the influence.  The city council has suspended him without pay.  Why without pay, I wonder?  Why suspend him at all?  Is there more we, the other community members, do not know? Regardless, why without pay?   Some might suggest that this sort of treatment happens a lot.  Why should a city official be treated any differently?  I do not think punishing a person when they have made a mistake is  going help that person or his/her family.   What help is being offered this person?  Who is saying to him or her, “We know you are just like us. We know we all make mistakes and we all need a helping hand at times.” 
 
I also read about other people being arrested on various charges. These people are the sons, daughter, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, cousins of ours or our neighbors.  The goal on one level is to protect other neighbors. Yet, what would I like to see happen with those persons if they were my son, daughter, sister, brother, cousin or other person close to me?  I would want them to be given whatever help they need to allow them to, if possible, to lovingly reconnect with neighbors.
 
Part of the process of growing spiritually during Lent and the rest of year is setting clear intentions to be a good neighbor who strives to treat others as I want to be treated.  When I fall short of this goal I want be honest and make amends when possible.  I want to honor the teachings of Grandma Fannie who was doing her best to honor the teachings of Jesus as she understood them.
 
Written March 12, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org