​Two physicists  
 
As is my habit, I downloaded the most recent podcast of the NPR program On Being.  The program which was aired this week was an interview of and discussion with Dr. Frank Wilczek. “Dr Wilczek is the Herman Feshbach professor of physics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. His books include The Lightness of Being: Mass, Ether, and the Unification of Forces and A Beautiful Question: Finding Nature’s Deep Design.”
 
As Oxforddictionary.com reminds us physics is “The branch of science concerned with the nature and properties of matter and energy.”  
 
Physicists and those of trained in clinical psychology have a lot in common.   Both observe/study systems and how all the pieces of a system fit and work together.  Both physicists and those concerned with both the individual human being and the collective of human beings are observing and exploring  how the smallest of pieces  and the largest pieces form an interactional whole. 
 
Both are also concerned with such concepts as harmony, beauty, and symmetry.  Both are concerned with the fact that each piece contains the whole.    Dr.  Wilczek reminds us that:
 
“And I think that’s the essence of complementarity. You have to view the world in different ways to do it justice, and the different ways can each be very rich, can each be internally consistent, can each have its own language and rules, but they may be mutually incompatible, and to do full justice to reality, you have to take both of them into account.”
 
He also reminds us that:
 
“So what you learn in the theory of relativity is that when you look at a light beam of a different color, and you’re moving towards it, it gets shifted towards the blue end of the rainbow. So if it was red, it might become yellow, or green, or blue, or ultraviolet if you’re moving fast enough. And if you’re moving away, there’s what’s called the redshift. Things move towards the opposite end of the rainbow, towards — so all these colors can be derived from one of them by moving at an appropriate velocity. So really the existence of one implies the existence of all the others.”
 
One more brief quote from Dr. Wilczek will help us appreciate the second physicist to whom I want to introduce the reader.
 
“You can recognize a deep truth by the feature that its opposite is also a deep truth.”
 
Often the language of Dr. Wilczek is that of mathematics. As most of us know, math is simply a language or talk about relationships.    Although mathematical formulas may seem complicated and obtuse at times, the most complicated of formulas are simply  a dance using particular symbols to describe how parts play together.
 
Some visiting friends and I also observed and  played minor roles in another dance last evening.   My good friends, K and M, had come from Pittsburgh to St. Petersburg last night to celebrate my upcoming birthday.  We had dinner at one of the many restaurants on Beach Drive where seating at one of the tables on the wide sidewalk is  available. From the vantage point of one’s table one can observe the seemingly endless parade of humans who come in various ages, sizes, shapes and costumes.  Many of the women were perched on very high, delightfully designed, but precarious heels.  It also appeared to be prom night for some high school students.  Sadly, missing was the richness of the obvious diversity which one would have observed in a similar neighborhood in Los Angeles where I recently visited my son. 
 
For most of the more than two hours we sat eating and enjoying each other as only long-time friends can do, we also enjoyed the demonstration of basic mathematical formulas by a person named  Richard.
 
Richard is this mid- to late mid-age, androgynous, person wearing an oversize, dress-like tee shirt, shorts, and tennis shoes.   Richard appeared to be a “regular” as he/she waving a hankie, gyrating hips and moving arms while inviting others to join a dance.  The closeness of the gyrating hips and the openness of emotion and demeanor was a clear threat to the very real, but visually hidden protective cocoon which many wore even on this promenade.  Some were very deliberate in non-verbally communicating that they did not identify with this “creature.”    A few joined in the dance. 
 
Richard came to our table to play with us, share our water and take advantage of the fresher hankie which masqueraded  as a napkin.   Richard also quipped about psychotropic medication, earlier being at a CASA fundraiser, and time in New York.  He/she was very aware of the discomfort many were experiencing with her/his presence.    At one point, Jimmy, the wait person, wanted to know if we were bothered by Richard and wanted him to discourage his/her presence. We assured him that we were fine. 
 
Richard reminded all of us what some did not like being reminded of: that he/she was just a reflection of a part of us; that depending on one’s perspective he/she was either “crazy” or someone just having fun or acting as the court jesters who reveals the audience.  In a style and costume which was different, Richard was putting on the same performance as that of President Obama and others at the annual White House Correspondence Dinner taking place last evening.  The language of Richard might have been a bit more “colorful” and the costume a bit less stylish, but the essence of the importance of not taking ourselves so seriously was just as present.   Richard also challenged us to confront the truth he was us and we are him/her.  Just as Dr. Wilczek reminds us that “You can recognize a deep truth by the feature that its opposite is also a deep truth.” Richard just as surely reminded us that although he/she may have appeared to be unique and opposite of those carefully and expensively groomed “normals”(The Normals!), we were only a pulled threat away from our own nakedness. 
 
The human dance reflects the universe just as the universe reflects the human dance. 
 
I suspect that Dr. Wilczek could describe the dance of Richard and all those sidewalk participants in clear mathematical equations which could then communicate many larger truths about the “nature and property of matter and energy.”  Richard’s performance was in fact Physics 101 outside the sometimes stuffiness of the classroom.
 
Written May 1, 2016

​Endings are always beginnings unless they are not!
 
I have been in Oklahoma since April  24th   where I lived a significant part of my childhood. The reason for my visit was to be with my mother while she lived out the last few days of her 96 years.    She  was able to let go on the 28th.   I was very grateful that I could join some of the other members of the family for this ending which is, of course, also a beginning.    When we are present for these times of major transitions, our mind recalls the many films which have been stored and continuously edited during the intervening years.   It may be that some of these films have been hidden in a folder that got filed in the wrong place or slipped to the bottom of the file drawer to live quietly underneath the other files and went unnoticed for many years.  Some event might eventually cause one to lift all the other hanging files out of the drawer and retrieve the ones which have been resting beneath them.  As soon as we open the folders all the sensations with which we stored them may seem to erupt making what seemed like the past now the present again. 
In that sense, as so many wiser people have remarked, the past is always the present.  The future does not yet exist and when it does it is the present.  Thus, we may (or may not) come to accept that there is no time other than the present.  I am also reminded that this moment is a new opportunity which has never existed before and will never exist again.   Yet, some of we humans, having the peculiar habits that we do, may insist on rebirthing the anger, resentment, hurts, perceived or experienced slights, that were retrieved from those file folders into this present moment.  We may seem unable to accept that the past does not need to become the present.  If so, it becomes the present.  We may then carefully feed and water the anger, resentment and perceived or experienced hurts so that they can be continually rebirthed - larger and more powerful.  Eventually the process erases all but the anger, resentment and hurts.  There now is no us to celebrate the new beginnings and, of course, if there is no us there is no support or love to join us for a comforting cup of tea.  We may, of course, at this point in time, decide to adopt a new ‘family’ who may, for a time, help us nurture our negative feelings.  It may feel as if we have  successfully  transitioned to a new beginning.  Sadly, however, our present is an illusion as is the connection with our new adopted family.  Soon, new resentments, anger and  hurt will join that which we have brought with us.   We can, of course, continue this process for a very long time if we are able and willing to keep adopting a new family who will eventually disappoint the illusion which is us.   The new beginnings are, in fact, not the present and, thus, not new beginnings at all.  There are, in this play, no endings and no beginnings.  There is only the past which has become the present.
 
While it may feel dangerous to let go of the fear and resulting negative feelings the real danger is holding on to them.   Feeding the fear will not prevent one from being hurt yet again.   It will guarantee we will be hurt because we have not been present to new beginnings.  This is a very lonely place. 
 
 
I am again led to believe if there is no us to be present to the new beginning, the resulting stress is going to affect the entire universe.  The body begins with one fertilized egg. The effect of the newly born infant on the universe may seem negligible.  By the time the cells have divided enough to form an adult, the potential effect of that human is very powerful.  One could, of course, point out that even children sometimes commit mass murder or write an amazing symphony at a very early age.
 
The bottom line is that our decision  to refuse to experience a new beginning  or our inability to allow ourselves to experience a new beginning because of holding on to old anger, resentment and experienced or perceived hurts has an enormous affect internally and externally on the entire universe despite the fact that we may feel very powerless.
 
The challenge is to access the courage to enter the realm of the vast unknown of new beginnings.  We know, of course, that  as the late Dwayne Dyer reminded us that thoughts can open new doors. The power of  allowing ourselves to entrain the possibilities of a new beginning can be a giant first step in claiming our birthright to a life of discoveries, love and new possibilities.
 
Written April 29, 2016

The power of prayer
 
Over the past several days, while spending time with my mother who was living out the last days of her life, many individuals had let my mother or family members know that they were praying for her and the family.   Some, who were able to visit in person  prayed for and with her.  The palliative care doctor even asked to pray with her.  My mother has always expressed some religious beliefs but has not, as far as I know, been active in a church or had daily religious practices.  I do know that she has, at times, attended church. There are members of the family who are both very religious and some who are what I would call very spiritual.  The family background is Christian and not Jewish, Muslim, Hindu  or some other faith.
 
Many  scientific studies have strongly indicated that prayer can be a very healing experience for the person who is ill, having a tough time emotionally, or experiencing grief or even worry.
 
The two questions which come up the most often relative to prayer is what is it and why or how does it work.
 
If one consults the Oxford dictionary one finds the brief definition of prayer to be:
 
·     A solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or another deity.
·     A religious service, especially a regular one, at which people gather in order to pray.
·      
The word prayer is derived from the Latin word precarious meaning  ‘obtained by entreaty.’
 
I am not sure that just reading the definition is very helpful. I am confident that one of these days my six-year-old niece, Sam,  and my twelve-year-old nephew, Paul, are going are going to challenge me to discuss prayer in a more scientific manner.
 
I will then suggest that we observe what happens when someone is praying.  I will further suggest that we not use the example of the quickly uttered words we say as children or adults merely to satisfy an habit or obligation.  Although some are quite amusing, they may or may not assist with digestion.  On the other hand,  a laugh can help relax the body and, thus, aid in digestion for the individual and the group eating together.
 
Sam and Paul are very good observers.  I recall some of their observations when we went to eat with folks at Catholic Charities.  I wrote them down.  Here they are:
 
Sam:  “I thought that he would never finish praying.    I was hungry.”
 
Paul: “ Is everyone here a Christian Uncle Jim?
Did Jesus only love Christians?”
 
Sam:  “I am glad that mom and dad does not give a long talk while the food is getting cold.  Why don’t they pray after they eat Uncle Jim?”
 
Paul: “Why would non-Catholics come here to eat Uncle Jim?”
 
Sam:  “Why do we pray?  I thought God knew what we are thinking.”
 
Paul:  “Does God care what religion we are Uncle Jim?”
 
Sam:  “Why do we pray Uncle Jim?”
 
As usual, they were all good questions and we had a great discussion  while making cookies to take back to Catholic Charities later in the day.
 
When the three of us observed prayer more carefully, we noticed that prayer is a time when we attempt to be intentionally present.  It is also usually a time when we are either asking for forgiveness for something we have done, giving thanks, or asking for healing or another favor.
 
Paul also recalled from his science class that thoughts are energy.   If the energy is positive it can have a calming and healing effect on the body.   In fact, in some medical practices the healing team  and perhaps the family stand around the bed  of the sick person and think positive, healing thoughts.  There are reports that during this process patients have  been healed of very serious illnesses.
 
Paul asked if prayer was the same as meditation.   I told him that it seems as if the effects are very similar.  When the sick or upset person is shown love often they are able to relax which may calm the person, thus slowing down the heart rate.  
 
Furthermore just thinking about something positive might help the body go into healing  mode.
 
We also know that:
 
·     The mood of  a surgical teams affects the outcome of surgery even if it appears that the surgery and related procedures was exactly the same when the team was not intentional about being a nurturing team.
·     Certain music seems to have a positive effect on the body.
·     If the patient feels and/or thinks he or she is getting help their brain begins to send well messages to the rest of the body.
 
Paul also asked the following question:
 
“Uncle Jim, lots of good people die even with when many people are praying.”
 
I responded:   “Paul and Sam, there is a difference between healing and curing or making sure a person lives.    Healing, in my mind means  a person is able to love themselves and others as well as accept the love of others. They are at peace.  You might recall when we visited the hospice place where people were dying or that time Uncle Jim took you to a home where someone was dying.  People were laughing or some just looked peaceful.  You remarked that they seemed to feel really good even though they were going to die very soon.  We talked about the fact that we are all going to die at some time.  The goal is to feel good about how we love each other right now.”
 
So back to the Sam’s question.  “Why do we pray if God already knows what we are thinking?” 
 
Perhaps it does not matter whether we speak the language of a particular religion or any religion at all.  Perhaps prayer is the power of love.  Praying for emotional or spiritual cleansing, confession, sharing the 4th  step in a 12-step program with one’s sponsor might all accomplish the same goal of making room for love.  When we have resentments, when we feel that  we are unlovable because of something we have done, when we feel we are undeserving for other reasons, we have barriers to love.
 
I suspect that we humans have a tendency to confuse the container or the framework with the content.  Religion is a framework or a container.  It is not the content. 
 
Prayer, meditation, loving thoughts, music which is sung or played from the heart, is healing for the  individual and for all who are caring for someone. 
 
We may or may not one day be able to more precisely show the energy entering the body of a person or the body of a group and chart its path.  In the meantime, we know that love works no matter the container in which it is delivered or the exact path it follows when it enters the body.  
 
Written April 28, 2016