​To wait or not to wait. That is the question
 
With nearly 90% of the ballots counted, Rodigo Duterte is poised to become the next President of the Philippines. This is reported by Trefor Moss in the Wall Street Journal in an article entitled “Crime-Busting Mayor Set to Lead Philippines.”  (Tuesday, May 10, 2016, A 10)
 
“During the campaign President elect Duterte pledged to kill criminals and to end crime and corruption within six months, punctuating his speeches with obscene asides about rape and masculinity…In Davao, where he has been mayor since the 1980s, Mr. Duterte is widely credited with restoring law and order by allowing vigilantes to kill over 1000 suspected street criminals. He now promises to take the same approach nationwide.  Tens of thousands of people will die during this purge, he has said. ‘Forget the laws on human rights,’ he told supporters over the weekend…But with every sound bite Mr. Duterte’s ratings jumped.”  Mr. Moss goes on to report that his “anti-establishment stance and his lack of political correctness made him appealing to the ordinary voter.
 
Some are comparing some of the appeal of President-elect Duterte to the appeal of Donald Trump. As we in the United States know, the more Mr. Trumps insults and offers quick, easy solutions the more he appeals to a significant segment of the population.
 
As was true for other historical figures, there is a certain appeal to the person or organization who promises quick solutions and who appeals to those who have felt left out, taken advantage of or otherwise discounted.  
 
Earlier this morning I was listening to a Ted Talk by professor, Dr. Philip Zimbardo.  His talk is entitled, “The psychology of time.”  (June 2009)
 
He talks about the example of an experiment with 4-year-olds in which the experimenter offers the 4-year-olds one marshmallow now or two if they wait until the experimenter comes back.  Two-thirds of the children choose to take the one marshmallow now.  Fourteen years later an associate of his goes back to try to discover what was different about these kids who elected to wait for the two marshmallows.  He discovered:
 
“The kids who resisted scored 250 points higher on the SAT. That's enormous. That's like a whole set of different IQ points. They didn't get in as much trouble. They were better students. They were self-confident and determined. And the key for me today, the key for you, is, they were future-focused rather than present-focused.”
 
Dr. Zimbardo goes on to talk about the “paradox of time perspective” which he argues “is something that influences every decision you make…”
 
He states:
 
“So, time paradox, I want to argue, the paradox of time perspective, is something that influences every decision you make, you're totally unaware of. Namely, the extent to which you have one of these biased time perspectives. Well there is actually six of them. There are two ways to be present-oriented. There are two ways to be past-oriented, two ways to be future-oriented. You can focus on past-positive, or past-negative. You can be present-hedonistic, namely you focus on the joys of life, or present-fatalist -- it doesn't matter, your life is controlled. You can be future-oriented, setting goals. Or you can be transcendental future: namely, life begins after death. Developing the mental flexibility to shift time perspectives fluidly depending on the demands of the situation, that's what you've got to learn to do.
 
So what is time perspective? That's what I'm going to talk about today. Time perspective is the study of how individuals, all of us, divide the flow of your human experience into time zones or time categories. And you do it automatically and non-consciously….
 
Any time perspective in excess has more negatives than positives. What do futures sacrifice for success? They sacrifice family time. They sacrifice friend time. They sacrifice fun time. They sacrifice personal indulgence. They sacrifice hobbies. And they sacrifice sleep. So it affects their health. And they live for work, achievement and control. I'm sure that resonates with some of the TEDsters.”
 
The paradox is that the goal is to be present to the here and now while also considering future possibilities.   Certainly, labeling certain people as criminals and then allowing them to be killed by vigilante groups restores a sense of order and may temporarily reduce criminal activity.  Those in the favored group(s) who continue to live will possibly feel safer and will, in fact be safer temporarily.   Tomorrow, however, someone may decide that they are the criminals and they are killed off or at the very least their freedoms diminished.
 
Mr. Trump has discounted women, immigrants, people/nations to whom we, the United States, owe money, and many other groups and nations. Yet, at times he promises to bring people together. What people?  The group who may later be found is labeled as the problem. 
 
I am reminded of the words of Pastor Martin Niemöller during the reign of the Nazis’:
First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
(Wikipedia – This is the version of the speech used by the United States Holocaust Museum.)
 
The temptation might be to judge those who voted for Mr. Duterte or to judge those who are supporting candidates such as Mr. Trump - to dismiss them as less intelligent, less well behaved and less able to think in terms of the future citing the results of studies such as the one Dr. Zimbardo quotes.   That would, I think, be a grave mistake.    We need to appreciate the psychology and paradox of time perspective.   If we simply judge those who are so present oriented that they will settle for the one marshmallow now we will end up validating the logic which leads them to settle for the one marshmallow of easy solutions and immediate gratification. I fear what is happening in the presidential race in the United States may be what happened in the Philippines: a self-righteous dismissal of those with whom we disagree.  We are all striving to reach a balance of present oriented with an awareness that there is also a future about which we need to be concerned. The person who is present-future oriented is able to focus on the positives of the present while appreciating the benefits of postponing some rewards.   Those who feel discounted in the present; those who feel as if their happiness has been sacrificed for the one percent or for the immigrant or whoever, need to know that their needs are valid and important.  We need to offer a plan which both attends to their needs and protects the needs and rights of others.  We can look in the mirror and see that whether it is our labeling of “them” or their labeling us as “them” the long term result is the same. 
 
The self-righteousness of one is not more moral than the self-righteousness of another. 
 
It is not clear to me why a relatively small percentage of those 4-year-olds were able to wait for the two marshmallows.  Nor is it clear to me if the habit of waiting led to better study habits which led to higher achievement or whether the higher intelligence (as we currently measure) led to ability to wait. By the time children are 4-years-old they have been exposed to a variety of stimulations and have learned approaches to life. 
 
We do know that treating people as less then – discounting their feelings, thoughts and needs – will lead to grave psychological consequences.  From my work with addicts and others I strongly suspect that these psychological consequences might lead one to choose one marshmallow rather than waiting for the two.  Once that habit is established it is difficult to change – difficult but not impossible.
 
Written May 10, 2016

​That is interesting – Political Invitations
 
This morning I was talking to someone about how difficult it is to not react to the addictive behavior of an individual.    Earlier I had been watching television news while on the treadmill at the gym.  Thankfully this is the only time I see network news. I do read a couple of newspapers and listen to NPR. 
 
The current presidential primary race in the United States reminds me a lot of a family who is living with addiction or some other illness which regularly attempts to force the family to allow it to kidnap the family.   It seems as if many in the United States, including those who report the news in various mediums, constantly fall into the trap of reacting to the candidates.  It does seem as if Mr. Trump is particularly adept at extending an invitation for others to react to him, thus insuring him free news coverage and eliciting further reactive and outrageous statements from him.  And here I am, at another level, reacting to him by using his brilliant campaign as an example.  I used the word brilliant because I am not aware of any other candidate in recent history who has been as adept in getting the representatives of the news media and others to react to him. He then responds to their reaction in a way which elicits yet another defensive reaction. 
 
Buddhist teachers under whom I have studied or whose words of wisdom I read or listen to, frequently remind one that the spiritual goal is to not allow oneself to be sucked into the internal or external drama which we humans seem to be so adept at creating.   We seem to easily become habituated to judging both internal and external behavioral reports.   We are likely to say that some thought or action is good or bad – right or wrong – decent or indecent – dumb or scholarly – rational or irrational.   This then feeds a dialogue which serves only to elicit further responses and/or to keep the focus on the drama rather than problem solving in a constructive manner.
 
Buddhist teachers advise me to just notice the internal or external comments without engaging in dualistic thinking or behavior.  I may say to myself or even to someone else (although it may be more effective to silently say it to myself) “That is interesting.”  Instead I may say to myself in word or deed, “This is a crisis. You have to fix this. It is your fault.” The ideal response might be, “Hmm.   That is interesting.” or, better yet, to just say it silently to oneself.  It is very difficult for the other person or group to carry on an extensive conversation if there is no response.  The other person might keep increasing the drama in hopes of eventually eliciting a response, but eventually, he or she will tire of the attempt. It is as if the other person is inviting one to play the game of “the dirty dozen.”   This is a typically urban negative, verbal game of insulting the “other” usually by suggesting one’s mother is one of the lowest of the cheapest street whores.  Each of the opponents keeps upping the ante until the suggestions of the behavior of one’s mother is beyond disgusting.
 
Some people, including the addict or any other bully, are extremely skilled at this game. The more ridiculous the accusation, the more likely one may respond.  For example, if the adult addict is being financially supported by his or her family and they are told that they have to start doing something to be self-supporting, they might directly or indirectly say, “You are ruining my life.  You have always loved my sibling more than me. No wonder I cannot accomplish anything. I have to put up with your crap!” Now, the truth is that this person is an adult, can leave anytime they choose, can take any job which would allow them to be self-supporting, and can work with their sponsor to look at making healthier choices, but instead they will blame their parents or other family members.  The family members are often likely to accept the bait and become defensive.
 
We may think the alcohol or drug addict has the “excuse” of their addiction. We may not think of the politician as being addicted to power.   The excuse of the politician is needing to win the election by any means possible then later, if successful, blaming their behavior on the political process.  As I have previously suggested addiction to power is just as destructive as addiction to alcohol or other drugs.
 
If, for example, a political candidate suggests that Mexico pay for a wall which would physically separate the countries many people feel compelled to say that the suggestion is ridiculous.  
 
The real issue for the addict is his or her relationship with the disease of addiction.  The real issues regarding immigration are numerous requiring a compassionate, multi-faceted approach.
 
The temptation when someone says something outrageous which is intended to keep the real issue at bay, is to respond to the bogus issue.  Often it is said with such authority and apparent conviction that we feel a need to accept the invitation to respond. 
 
Responding from our heart and the rational part of our brain is not always easy.  It sounds easy to accept that someone such as Mr. Trump or some other politician is just attempting to use outrageous sound bites to avoid the fact that most issues are complicated and require thoughtful, complicated responses, but it is easy for we humans to feel as if we have to respond to outrageous or patently illogical statements.    It also sounds easy for those of us who may have years of experience with addicts and others whose brain seems to be on vacation to not accept the invitation to the illogical or outrageous statements, but the truth is that it is not easy to simply lovingly observe and respond with “Isn’t that interesting.” and not label the behavior as  right, wrong, good or bad.  The goal is to first not engage in our heads and, secondly, not engage verbally.   This will tend to really confuse the person and to, thus, dilute the power of their illogical and outrageous behavior.
 
Addiction to power, alcohol, drugs, sex or some other person, place or thing control a part of brain which makes the addiction primary and, thus makes it impossible for the addict to consistently be logical or to accept and use their power to create the life they want and deserve.
 
There is no doubt in my mind that both the young man whose family is so concerned about his alcoholism and those candidates who addiction to power/winning is so strong that they would have to change their behavior if we quit accepting the invitation to their illogical and outrageous behavior.
 
 
Written May 9, 2016
 

​Questions
 
As many of my readers know I talk a lot about friendships in this blog.  I talk about the characteristics of friendship with oneself, others, and mother earth.  I talk about the art of friendship.
 
Since the passing of my mother on April 28th, 2016 I have been overwhelmed by the power, strength, and challenge of many friends who have offered comfort, advice, and challenges.   If I could somehow capture and hold all the loving energy which has been shared with me I am sure that it would fill a stadium if not a small planet.  When I posted a tribute to my mother on Facebook I received more than a hundred comments and many subsequent personal notes and phone calls.   Friends have make sure that I have eaten and that I am alone only by choice.  As it happens my birthday was the week following her death which proved to be another occasion for the outpouring of love and support. 
 
For many years I have characterized friends as those who simultaneously tickled my heart and my mind.  They are people who love me unconditionally while challenging me to grow emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.
 
I was listening to the podcast of the May 5th On Being Show with Krista Tippett.  The May 5th show is Pico Iyer interviewing Krista Tibbett, the usual host, about her latest book, “Becoming Wise.”
 
Ms. Tippett and I have several things in common including:
·    Growing up in Oklahoma.  I spent the first few years in Chicago but then was in Oklahoma until just past my 18th birthday.
·    We both grew up with the powerful influence of those whose faith lived within the tight corset of the Southern Baptist tradition of the Christian Church.
·    We both attended and graduated from a theological seminary. Ms. Tippett attended Yale and I, Princeton.  Yale was my first choice, but Princeton had much nicer married student housing which was a small compromise for my wife who was so supportive of my academic pursuits.
 
One of the statements Ms. Tippett made about her passionately Southern Baptist grandfather was:
 
“So, one thing that I started thinking about in the writing of the book is about how that contradictory experience of him, but also the contradictions that were alive in my family. My grandfather, I think, had a good mind, but he had never been invited or trained to ask questions. I mean, his Bible was marked up in the most amazing way. But I think questions were fearful things for him.”
 
Prior to listening to this podcast I had been thinking about the issue of questions. Even when I tried my best to be a faithful, accepting member of the Southern Baptist Church, I ‘know’ that God knew that I was not doing well with blind acceptance of their teachings.  In many respects their teachings and practices seem to have little to do with the life and teachings of Jesus.  I could not accept that God would just choose a few people.  Once we knew that there was no shortage of sperm and fewer children and women were dying in childbirth I did not understand why God would care about masturbation and same-sex relationships.  What had happened to “turn the other cheek?”  Did God really hate Muslim, Buddhists, and Hindus?   Why were women supposed to allow men to tell them what to do?  Was domestic violence really the fault of the wife?  Why was racism, unequal wages, and other oppressive policies okay with the church and community leaders? Did God really get His feelings hurt so easily?  Was God a male? Why not a female or, perhaps a hermaphrodite or even asexual?
 
I thought that perhaps my mind was just limited.  Perhaps if I was more intelligent or had more faith I would have fewer questions.   Perhaps I would understand why using the atomic bomb was okay.  Perhaps I would be more patriotic and understand why churches had the United States flag displayed in the front of the church.
 
It was not until I got to college that I discovered that there was an entire academic field or discipline which did nothing but ask questions.  People – usually men (that confused me) called philosophers had been debating ethical, scientific, and mathematical issues for as long as history had been recorded in a form which was currently understandable.
 
Suddenly I know that there were many other people who sought out colleagues and friends who thought that wisdom involved knowing that they do not know.
 
There was a reason that I had been consistently attracted to people via books, other media and in person who questioned all assumptions and challenged me to do the same.
 
Yesterday, friends, Cheryl and Carl invited me to attend a movie with them. The movie they planned to see was, “Eye in the Sky.” The movie, via a particular story, forces the viewer to confront the age old issues of whether it is moral or ethical to sacrifice the life of a person (in this case a child) in order to save the lives of many children and adults.  Some of the characters seemingly find the answer very self-evident.  Other characters struggled with the answer. I was very upset and disturbed by the movie. As is probably true for many of we humans, I do not want to be placed in such a situation.  As a professed pacifist I was confronted with the fact that the question was not whether the characters in the movie would avoid killing.  Some persons were going to be killed no matter what decision was reached.  
 
Following the movie my friends and I went out to dinner and discussed the movie.  This morphed into a discussion of whether evils existed, whether punishment was ever moral or appropriate, whether it makes sense to talk about absolute free will, and other topics.
 
We also challenged each other on other issues.  My friend Cheryl has been challenging me to think outside of my comfort zone for many years.  Nearly all of my friends do that just as I do that with them.  Nearly all of my blogs challenge myself and the reader to think and rethink about a wide variety of issues. All of us want to do our part to create a more just, loving world.  All of us know that we do not have the answers although if the reader wants to “listen in” on one of our often passionate discussions one might falsely think that we do think we have answers.
 
It seems to me that one of the markers for empathy is being able to put oneself in not only the shoes of another but the thought process and emotional state of the other.   I have often been in situations where one is required to passionately argue the position of one’s so0called opponent.  I am not sure that most schools require students to engage in such debates. I am not even sure if schools still have organized debate teams. I certainly hope so.  The medium for debates might be art, music, speaking, writing or movement. I am not sure it matters. What matters is that we know we don’t know while passionately testing out our thoughts and theories with others.
 
Friends and all those who can find even a tiny bit of desire for mutual respect might benefit from more tickling of the minds and hearts of each other.
 
Written May 7, 2016

​Mother’s Day – The Ovarian Lottery
 
If one googles “ovarian lottery,” one will be directed to an article in buesinessinside.com by Joe Weisenthal in which he quotes a portion of a speech which Warren Buffett gave to MBA students.  Mr. Buffett says:
 
“My political views were formed by this process.  Just imagine that it is 24 hours before you are born. A genie comes and says to you in the womb, “You look like an extraordinarily responsible, intelligent, potential human being. [You're] going to emerge in 24 hours and it is an enormous responsibility I am going to assign to you — determination of the political, economic and social system into which you are going to emerge. You set the rules, any political system, democracy, parliamentary, anything you wish — you can set the economic structure, communistic, capitalistic, set anything in motion and I guarantee you that when you emerge this world will exist for you, your children and grandchildren.
What’s the catch? One catch — just before you emerge you have to go through a huge bucket with 7 billion slips, one for each human. Dip your hand in and that is what you get — you could be born intelligent or not intelligent, born healthy or disabled, born black or white, born in the US or in Bangladesh, etc. You have no idea which slip you will get. Not knowing which slip you are going to get, how would you design the world? Do you want men to push around females? It’s a 50/50 chance you get female. If you think about the political world, you want a system that gets what people want. You want more and more output because you’ll have more wealth to share around.”
 
On this Mother’s Day I think it would behoove all of us to consider what Mr. Buffett calls the ovarian lottery. I do think it was brilliant of Mr. Buffett to preclude his statement about political and economic systems with a restatement of what all of us know but which most of us act as if we do not know. 
 
On this Mother’s Day there will be families gathering in real time around in a real, as opposed to virtual, setting.  Some of these families will consist of those who are appreciative of and delighted with each other.  Some of these families will have found ways of dealing with the results of the ovarian lottery in a way which embraced cooperation, acceptance, forgiveness and unconditional love. Whether rich or poor they were able to join together to create a home which fostered a focus on what was possible.    Many other families will, however, gather in virtual time, often only in the memory or imagination of individuals.   Many of these families will be overlaid with anger and resentment that they are not the models for the Normal Rockwell photo featured in the Saturday Evening Post or the modern television or internet equivalent.   Perhaps parents died early, perhaps mental illness, addiction, war or some other disease insured that life was a daily struggle.  Perhaps they are will waiting for the God of their understanding to right this terrible injustice.
 
Some of us may believe on this Mother’s Day that our mother deliberately looked for that slip which said “terrible parent” and subsequently spent their childhood preparing to fill this “terrible parent” role.  They, therefore, deserve our disdainful judgment thus “forcing” us to withhold understanding and forgiveness.  
 
Holding on to the anger and resentment, foregoing humility and forgiveness, will insure that we carry on that legacy of misery and, if we are parents, inflicting it on our children.
 
I happen to agree with Mr. Buffett.   Birth is an ovarian lottery.  I do not believe that anyone intentionally decided to be an unloving, distant or even absent parent.  It is true that some parents may decide that they can only parent the way they were parented; that it was unsafe to trust love, or that it is was their responsibility to instill the fear of the God of their understanding.  Some parents may have a mental illness for which treatment was unavailable or unsuccessful.  Some may have an addiction which, for whatever reason, is resistant to all intervention or treatment attempts.   Some may have abandoned through death or by doing something which resulted in them being locked up in prison and, thus were unavailable.
 
A mentally ill mother of a person I know recently told law enforcement officials that her son and his wife were dealing cocaine and other drugs, had assault weapons and were dangerous.  An entire contingent of law enforcement people arrived at their house wielding guns and treating them as dangerous criminals.  They found nothing.  Mother was angry and unable to let go of her anger that the son and his wife were not supporting her unhealthy behavior. Her action not only resulted in significant trauma but also meant that they had to spend money which was already owed to others.
 
It is easy to understand why some people find it difficult to celebrate their mother.  Mother may have little to give emotionally or otherwise. Yet, as so many have reminded us, humility and forgiveness is good for the health of the individual and the larger community.
 
Humility and forgiveness does not require the suspension of rational thought.  If a person, who happens to be a mother (if only by virtue of birth), is not a safe person to have in one’s home or even to meet in a public place, then one may want to avoid direct contact.  Yet, there is nothing preventing us from realizing that we too could be that dysfunctional or unable to perform a role or job which nature has assigned us. We too could me desperately in need of love and forgiveness. 
 
Perhaps, as some people believe, we chose our parents before we were born so as to learn certain spiritual lessons (humility perhaps?).  Perhaps it is not an ovarian (and sperm) lottery after all.  Whatever the truth, today, if we are mentally and physically healthy enough we might practice what all of us want.  We want to be loved for who we are and not judged because of one act or a way of being over which we had no control.  It may feel strange or frightening to let ourselves grieve while letting go of anger, resentment, and blame. Yet, I promise that if we can allow this we will feel a new sense of freedom. We will also be able to allow those who are able to love unconditionally into our lives.
 
We can all then say, “Thanks mom. You gave all you had to give.”  See, that was not that difficult.
 
Written May 8, 2016
 

​Twelve-year-old Paul asks about for profit and non-profit
 
I, of course, knew that eventually  my adopted niece and nephew – ages twelve and six – were going to want talk about the ethics of money.  Thus, I was not surprised when Paul, the twelve-year-old called last night and asked if he could come over and talk about money and values.  I am sure it was just the first of many such discussions with both he and his sister.
 
Since it was a school night I had already made the hot chocolate and gotten some of the cookies we had made last Saturday out of the freezer.
 
Paul:  Uncle Jim!
 
Me:  Hi Paul. Come on in. How  was your day?
 
Paul:  Good Uncle Jim.   How are you?
 
Me:  I am fine.  Here is your hot chocolate and some of the cookies you, Sam, and I made last Saturday.
 
Paul:  Thanks, Uncle Jim.
 
Me:   What can I help you with Paul?
 
Paul:  Our homework assignment is to write about the difference between a for-profit hospital and  a non-profit hospital.   There was an article in the newspaper about one of the local non-profit hospitals being sold to a profit chain in 2013. Since then they have been helping fewer people. 
 
Me:  I read that story. After the hospital was sold to a for-profit chain, charity care went from 5.1 per cent to 3.2 percent and from $63 million to $51 million in the same period.  Is that the case you are talking about?
 
Paul:  Yes, Uncle Jim.  I do not understand Uncle Jim.
 
Me:  What is you do not understand Paul?
 
Paul.  To start with what is the difference between non-profit and for-profit.  Doesn’t profit mean that you make money?  Does non-profit mean you do not make any money?
 
Me:  You remember when you and Sam had the lemonade stand Paul?  I loaned you the money to buy lemons, sugar, glasses, and straws.  Your parents and I agreed to rent you and Sam a table, an umbrella, and the juice machine.    All together you and Sam spent $48.00.  You sold 50 glasses of lemonade for $1.00 each netting $48.00.  You made a total of $2.00 profit because you and Sam were donating your time. The purpose of making a profit was donating money to the church Christmas fund for needy families.  
 
Paul: I remember. That was a lot of work for not very much money.
 
Me:  It certainly was. If you and Sam had been trying to make money to pay  for rent, utilities,  clothing and all the other things you and Sam want and need, $2.00 would not have paid for much.
 
Paul:  No kidding.  We just bought new running shoes and they cost  $60.00 on sale. Some of the gym shoes were over $100.00!
 
Me: So you and Sam would have had to sell a lot of lemonade to make enough profit to even buy the shoes.
 
Paul:  So a for-profit stand would mean that we were making enough money to buy shoes for both me and Sam.
 
Me:  Not exactly Paul.  A non-profit still can make enough money to pay the employees enough to allow them to pay for food, clothing, electric and other necessities.   A for-profit hospital would have enough left over to pay more money to some of the employees.  Your non-profit stand would do the same and make sure that me, your mom  and dad who invested in the lemonade stand make money.
 
Paul:  So you all would make money just by lending us money and equipment?
 
Me: That is right Paul.  We would be the investors and we expect to make money from helping you and Sam get started.
 
Paul:  Where does the charity come in Uncle Jim?
What if Maria is thirsty and really needs something to drink?
 
Me: Good for you Paul for remembering that this is one of the concerns we need to explore.  So, if this is a non-profit business we can share some of our lemonade with Maria. This means that we have to still pay the bills but me, your mother and dad do not have to have make any money. You and Sam just have to pay for the initial  investment or ask us if we could afford to donate it. 
 
Paul:  So a non-profit still has to make money or get money donated because they have to buy equipment and pay everyone a salary.
 
Me:  That is very good Paul.   So if you and Sam run the business well and manage and have some extra money should you pay yourselves a lot and buy a big house and a fancy car?
 
Paul:  Then we could not help Maria and others who were thirsty. 
 
Me:  That is right, Paul. A for-profit business might tell Maria she could only have something to drink once a month so that there was enough money to pay bigger salaries and to pay me, mom and dad some money.
 
Paul:  But you, mom and dad already have jobs and enough money to live don’t’ you? 
 
Me: Yes, we do but some people want more.  What if we wanted one of those big houses with a swimming pool and someone to clean and someone else to cook and someone else to do yard work? We would need you and Sam to make a lot of money and only help Maria and others a little bit if there was enough money.
 
Paul:  Isn’t Maria important?
 
Me: Well yes, but with the money we were making we would hire her and she would  have some money to buy something to drink.
 
Paul: So for profit is good Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  Well, not everyone thinks so because sometimes some people have a lot of money and some people have very little and still need help.   For example, medical care can be very expensive. Remember we started  with the example of the difference between for-profit and non-profit hospitals?
 
Paul:  Uncle Jim, people have to have medical care  but not lemonade.
 
Me:  Ah!  So perhaps some things could be profit and some things could be not for profit?
 
Paul:  It gets complicated doesn’t it Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  Yes, it does Paul.  Perhaps the teacher would be happy if we came up with a list of questions or issues rather than saying what is best. What do you think Paul?
 
Paul:  Will you help me with those Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  I sure will Paul.  Do you want to type or since it is late do you want me to type while you tell me what to type?
 
Paul:  Will you type Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  Sure Paul. Let’s get to work. We can do a draft and then work on the wording tomorrow since it is late.
 
Paul: Great. Thanks Uncle Jim.
 
Written May 6, 2016

​Decision making
 
This morning, May 5, 2016, on page B4 of the Wall Street Journal the mention of Wharton School in an article entitled Wharton School Pushes Analytics by Lindsay Gellman caught my attention.  The author reports:
 
“Wharton is expanding its offerings in business analytics, the application of data science to business problems, as more firms seek to make sense of the large troves of data they collect.” 
 
When I subsequently googled business analytics I got a number of hits telling me that this is a subject which is of interest  to the esteemed and respected graduates of  Wharton, many of whom will undoubtedly become the business leaders of tomorrow. 
 
No matter how old I get or how much I read, I am daily confronted with terms or phrases whose meaning is confusing to me despite my understanding of the individual words.  Business analytics is such a term.  I think I know what the word business means.  I have been a small business owner for many years. I also know many others who have created and run very successful businesses.   I also understand the term analytic or at least I think that I do. Just to be sure I asked oxford dictionary to remind me of the definition of this adjective.  It tells me: “relating to or using analysis or logical reasoning.”
 
As a business person and a person who makes an attempt to have some rudimentary understanding of the national and international economic issues, I am well aware that there are many factors which determine the success or failure of a business.  I am aware of the fact that the current stock market is very erratic indicating that the success or failure of investors and the business enterprises themselves face an uncertain future.
 
Even though the mission of my business did not mention profit per se, if my small business did not make enough money to allow myself and the people I hired enough to eat and pay other bills, I could not have afforded to keep it open.  Making money was not, however, the only or even the primary purpose of the business.   The purpose of the business was to create a space in which the staff could continue their healing journey while inviting others we called clients to continue their healing journey.   Our commitment as a business was to both run the business as efficiency as possible so as to ensure that we could work for/with individuals regardless of what individuals and families could pay or what their insurance coverage, if they had any, would pay.   Since 1900 we, as a business, were able to stay open, pay bills and live decently. No one got wealthy and no one starved.
 
Since we were a small business the amount of data we had to analyze was limited. Still, we needed to be smart about purchasing business supplies, tracking what factors seem to affect referrals, and what practices seemed to be most helpful to clients.
 
In reading the Wall Street Journal, The Tampa Times or other news of what is happening in the corporate business world, it would be easy to become overwhelmed with data.   Business enterprises who sell automobiles, farm equipment, oil or many other products or services have much more data to analyze than a small psychotherapy practice.
 
When I was obtaining a degree in philosophy at the University of Maryland the goal was to learn to sharpen my critical thinking skills.  To that end one had to enroll in and pass several courses in logic, the primary premise of which was that D had to follow C which had to follow B which had to follow A.   First and foremost, one had to have a clear goal.  In business this goal is often termed a mission.  If the mission of a company is to make as much money as possible and then sell or close down the business, then one may not care about repeat customers.   It  may make “logical” sense to manufacture the product as cheaply as possible with little concern about the quality of the product or whether it performed well long term.  If the goal however, is to provide a product which enhances the life experience of an individual, family, community or larger group for the lowest price which allows everyone in the company to live within X income range, then the data one examines and uses to make decision will be much different.
 
In other words, business analytics has to be considered within the context of a value system.  Microsoft and Apple produced products which were and are often unaffordable to many individuals and countries. Clearly, the mission was not only to be innovative in putting amazing tools in the hands of a significant number of people but to do so in a way which greatly enhanced the personal wealth of a relatively few number of people.  There are those who will, of course, argue that without the high profit motive, creativity would have been reduced as well as the overall benefit to the world in tools which would be used in health care and all aspects of the human’s undertakings.   I do not personally believe that.
 
The Wall Street Journal article goes on to state:
“Wharton Dean Geoffrey Garrett describes analytics as a discipline that “helps leaders make better decisions,” and even a manager without a technical background must be “able to talk to the geeks,” he said.
 
What he fails to mention is that tools are only useful in service of goals.    I would like to suggest that it is important for educational institutions to invite students to explore the long-term goals which are based on a solid value system.  I am not suggesting that it is the business of educational institutions to teach a particular value system but I do think that if we want to have a viable world economic system we need to insure that students are required to articulate answers to the following questions:
 
·     How does a product enhance the life experience for the individuals or individuals who use this product?
·     How does the experience of this person or small group affect the world at large long term (the next 100 or 200 years)?
·     What   determines the value of an individual or group of people?
·     What are one’s core values?
·     How did one arrive at those core values?
·     How does one use new knowledge in evaluating the basic premises underlying the formulation of the original spiritual value, role, or law?
·     Who is deserving of sharing in the resources of the planet and how is that determined?
·     Do individuals choose mental illness or other conditions which affect the operation of the electrical system in the brain which allows or disallows logical thinking?
 
One could list many other questions which we humans must learn to address before we decide what data to analyze and how to then use the  results of that analysis.
 
I have previously mentioned that if we, as a culture, want to affect the thinking which leads to behavior which is harmful or destructive then we have to invite ourselves and others on a journey of exploring the thinking process itself. When a course in philosophy was offered to some homeless people they begin to explore how they made decisions and eventually began to make different decisions.
 
I am suggesting that it is imperative that schools such as Wharton invite and even require students to examine the goals and underlying values systems which will utilize the tool of data analysis.
 
Written May 5, 2016

Sam asks about bathroom police
 
I knew it was only a matter of time before my adopted six-year-old niece asked about the bathroom police. I am aware of the facts:
·     Some states have passed laws stating that people have to use the restroom of the gender with which they were born.
·     Some business’ have similar rules.
·     Some business’ such as Target have announced that “it would allow transgender people to choose the restrooms and fitting rooms which corresponded with their gender identities. (nytimes.com   April 27, 2016)
·     A conservative Christian group has launched a campaign urging people to sign a petition to boycott Target because: “Target’s inclusive stance on transgender rights encourages sexual predators and puts women and young girls in danger because “a man can simply say that he ‘feels’ like a woman today’ and enter the women’s restroom.” (usatoday.com April 28, 2016)
 
 
Thus, I was not surprised with Sam’s mother called to say that Sam wanted to come over after dinner to come talk about bathroom police.
 
Since it was a school night I decided to make the hot chocolate and have it ready for her in her special cup rather than making it together after she got here.
 
Soon I heard a knock on the door.  There was Sam’s mother.
 
Sam’s mother:  Just call and I will come walk her home.
 
Me:  Don’t worry.  I will walk her home and come collect that glass of wine you promised.
 
Sam’s mother: Thanks Jim.  Have a good conversation with Uncle Jim, Sam.
 
Sam: Thanks mom. Hi Uncle Jim!
 
Me:  Hello Sam.  Come on it.  I just poured your hot chocolate. 
 
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim.
 
Me:  You are welcome. Mom said you were worried about something.  What is you are worried about?
 
Sam: At school, Tommy said his mother said that now a lot of places and even schools in some states would now have bathroom police to make sure that sure that only boys use the boy’s bathroom and only girls use the girl’s bathroom.
 
Me: Why did he say that Sam?
 
Sam:  I asked Uncle Jim.   At our school only boys go into the boy’s bathroom and only girls go into the girl’s bathroom. There is a bathroom for the kids in wheelchairs or needing assistance.
 
Me: What did Tommy say?
 
 
 
Sam:  He said that those boys who act like girls and the girls who act like boys are being allowed to go into the other bathroom in some places to hurt us. I said, “Oh, you mean transgender people.” They will not hurt us.
 
Me: What did Tommy say?
 
Sam: He said, “I don’t know about trans … What did you call the bad people?”  I said to Tommy:  “Transgender people are people who are born as the wrong gender.”  Tommy said, “I don’t know anything about gener.  I just know boys are boys and girls are girls and they have to use the right bathroom.”
 
Me:  Tommy does not seem to know words such as gender and Transgender does he?
 
Sam: Why not, Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  Not all families talk about such terms or issues and not all families believe that people can be born into the wrong gender.
 
Sam:  I thought you said that some babies are born with both genders and the doctor and the family decide to give them one or the other right after they born
 
Me: We did talk about the fact that some babies – less than one percent – are born as hermaphrodites. The doctor and the parents made a decision to do surgery so that the person is clearly male or female.  There is some disagreement about whether this surgery should wait until the person is old enough to make a decision.
 
Sam: But transgender people have a penis or a vagina and think they have the wrong parts?
 
Me:  That is correct Sam.
 
Sam:  Tommy said that they were going to have bathroom police to make sure that only boys went into the boy’s bathroom and girls went into the girl’s bathroom.
 
Me: Did you think that is going to happen Sam?
 
Sam:  How else are they going to tell Uncle Jim?
 
Me: Well, I suppose that the family doctor could issue a gender card and everyone would have to show the gender card.
 
Sam: What if you forget the card and had to go really bad?
 
Me:  I don’t know. I suppose kids might then have an accident.
 
Sam:  I would hate that Uncle Jim. What about teachers Uncle Jim?  Would they have to have gender cards too?
 
Me: I suppose.
 
Sam. If they forgot their cards they could have accidents too.  Yuk!
 
Me:  It all seems pretty silly doesn’t it Sam? Don’t the toilets have little spaces with doors.  You cannot see anyone going into the bathroom.
 
Sam: Yes, they do.  Are bad people really going to come into the bathrooms Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  I have found no studies which prove that transgender people assault people in the bathroom.
 
Sam: Than why are so many people upset and worried Uncle Jim?
 
Me: We have talked about the fact that sometimes when we humans do not understand some facts or the facts are not the way we thought God intended them to be then we get confused and frightened.  Sometimes we pretend that what we do not understand does not exist or that only bad people pretend to be different.  We have talked about treating people who are different than us as if they are bad people. 
 
Sam: That is what we did with black people Uncle Jim.
 
Me:  Yes and many other people.  Sometimes, for example, women are still treated as less then and paid less.
 
Sam: That is dumb and not right Uncle Jim. 
 
Me:  I agree.
 
Sam: Should I ask the teacher about the duties of a bathroom police person Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  I think it is a fair question but be prepared for the teacher getting uncomfortable and possibly  getting angry Sometimes we adults get angry when we are uncomfortable.
 
Sam: Can I ask about the qualifications for becoming a bathroom police officer, Uncle Jim?  (Sam is smirking.)
 
Me:  I am not sure that is a good idea Sam.
 
Sam:  Okay.  I am tired Uncle Jim. Will you take me home?
 
Me:  I certainly will.  I love it when we have these talks. Thanks. Sam.
 
Sam:  (yawning). Welcome Uncle Jim.
 
Written May 4, 2016

​Shenpa revisited
 
It has been a long time since I have written about shenpa. At the risk of redundant writing I want to briefly talk about the power of shenpa and the fact that we so often mistake it for  a wound recently inflicted by the action of someone.
 
I am a devoted fan of the Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron. I have a number of her talks downloaded to my smart phone so that I can listen to them over and over again.  Each time I do, of course, I “hear” some nuance of wisdom I have not previously heard.   Pema Chodron first introduced me to the concept of shenpa.  
 
In a talk entitled  “How we get hooked and how we get unhooked’ given March 1, 2003 she says:
 
“The Tibetan word for this is shenpa. It is usually translated “attachment,” but a more descriptive translation might be “hooked.” When shenpa hooks us, we’re likely to get stuck. We could call shenpa“that sticky feeling.” It’s an everyday experience. Even a spot on your new sweater can take you there. At the subtlest level, we feel a tightening, a tensing, a sense of closing down. Then we feel a sense of withdrawing, not wanting to be where we are. That’s the hooked quality. That tight feeling has the power to hook us into self-denigration, blame, anger, jealousy and other emotions which lead to words and actions that end up poisoning us.”(lionsroar.com)
 
I was recently reminded of the power of shenpa.   I was thinking of an upcoming event which made me remember an old hurt which is connected to an old message which says, “You are not worthwhile.   You are an undesirable person.   You are not worthy of love.”    These messages then connected to other messages which insist that “You can never count on love.  You can fool people for  a time but they will eventually find out who you really are and then will quit loving you.”  These messages in turn connect to other messages which say, “You will always be alone. You deserve to be alone.”
 
A part of me has been unable to completely let go of the original, negative messages. I  have, at some level, become attached to these negative messages as “the truth” even though another part of me knows that they are lies.   The hooked part to which Pema refers is my response to the most recent action or thought.  It is as if  the new thought or action  connects to an internal knitting needle which instructs knit one, purl one and so forth.  Take the new action or thought, connect to the old one which then connects to an even older or more powerful one until one has a blanket of negativity.    This process can be very quick.  Since we can store memories with words, sights, sounds, smells and tastes, many triggers of which we are not consciously aware  can set off this process.  I can go from being in a perfectly good mood to being practically immobilized with grief, anger, sadness or another negative emotion in an instant.
 
If I am unaware of what is happening the most common reaction is to get angry and blame the “messenger” (the person  or thing which provided the initial trigger for connecting to the old negative messages).   I may react with anger, “How dare you? Who gives you the right to judge me?  Why are you being critical  of me?  I will never forgive you.  Fine!  If you feel that way then just forget our relationship. I will never contact you again.”
 
If, on the other hand, we are aware that an old negative message to which we are attached, has been triggered we might still have a very strong emotional reaction, but  we may be able to “just notice” what is happening and silently say to ourselves, “Oh.  This is interesting. I am experiencing shenpa.”   Of course, I may not ‘notice’ until I have already reacted emotionally to the old messages. That is fine. At whatever point I can notice is fine.  I do not want to criticize myself for not noticing sooner or for reacting emotionally.
 
It is important to remind myself that the other person or event is not responsible for the old message/lie.  The event, thought or action might have been the trigger but the emotion is connected to the strength of the old lie to which I am attached. The attachment might be to the fear that the old lie is true.  While I am not to be blamed or scolded for this attachment I can reduce the discomfort by owning the attachments. Blaming the other person, thought or event for the content of the old message is not going to help and could create a new resentment. 
 
A good example might me that a person asked me to do X.  In the midst of a stressful situation I did Y instead of X.  Y accomplished the same thing as X but it was not what the person asked me to do.  Doing Y instead of X hooked an old message (D) that they were not important and that I had done Y just to be mean. They then responded  with M - an angry way with some new mean statements.  M triggered  old message in me which resulted in response Z. So:  Y=D=M=Z…   One gets the idea of the process and why it is important to interrupt it as quickly as possible.
 
In this case I was very aware of what had happened and simply responded with a loving message indicating that I loved the person and was here if I could  be helpful.   I did not have control over what the person did with my response.  I did not say to them, “This is shenpa and as nothing to do with the current situation.”  That would have been heard as criticism.   I also did not reinforce the old lie in me which got triggered.  This did not prevent me from feeling the emotion stored with the old message, but by not feeding it the  time and depth, the feeling was short lived.
 
By focusing on the shenpa process I can keep my attention and effort on what I can control instead of what I cannot and do not need to control. Also, because I understand how easy it is for all of we humans to get hooked I do not have to judge the other person or event.  I just practice noticing without needing to judge the other person or myself.
 
Most of us were not trained to  appreciate and respond to shenpa in this way.  It takes a lot of practice and even then we will not do it perfectly.  I can, however, practice just noticing at whatever point in the process I notice.
 
Written May 3, 2016

​Friendship
 
This weekend my long-time friends K and M came to Florida to help me celebrate my birthday and to give themselves a wee break in their busy schedule.   This was the second year that I have celebrated my birthday in Florida and the second year that they have made such an effort to celebrate with me.
 
Since it was also the weekend that I had just returned from sharing the last days of my mother’s life with two of my sisters and some of the extended family, the subject of what I admire in others and in myself was already much of my mind.
 
I first met K’s former partner who is now deceased when I moved to Pittsburgh from Indiana.   In Indiana I and some other men, at the urging of the females we admired and with whom we wanted a healthy relationship, formed what was then called a men’s consciousness raising group.  We were not unique. Many men were forming such groups in the 1970s.    It had become increasing evident to us and to our women friends, associates, lovers and spouses that we males had missed a course or two or three in what it meant to have a loving, respectful partnership/relationship with women.   At that time, women doing the same jobs as men were, on the whole, making even less money than is now the case. They were also  in the majority of cases doing much more than half of the child care and home making even if working full time outside the home.  Emotionally, the women in our lives did not think we were very present.  We did not listen well, often discounted or made fun of the emotions of them and thought sexual intimacy was the same as emotional intimacy. Often we thought winning was the objective when the women in our lives might think that treating each other with love and respect was the goal.   In short, the women in our lives did not like or respect us very much and did not want the job of teaching  or, as they termed it, raising us.   They thought that it was up to we men to help each other develop into men who could be full partners with the women in our lives at home and at work.
 
We would meet once a week to discuss issues of character – what qualities or characteristics we needed to nurture in ourselves to be men of whom we and the women in our lives had respect.  Our motives at first may have been mainly showing the women in our lives that we could grow emotionally and spiritually.
 
Interestingly enough we soon discovered that this was not an issue which was exclusive to heterosexual men.  Men on the broad spectrum of sexual orientation were struggling with the same issues.
 
It was also in the 1970s that a national organization, now called The Organization of Men Against Sexism was formed.  This organization which commanded the allegiance of many of we men for many years (it still exists) explored issues of violence toward women, equal pay issues, fatherhood, and a variety of other issues related to who we wanted to be as men.
 
Most of we men had not given much thought to who we wanted to be as men. Even though we might have been intentional about some of the values which guided our lives somehow we had managed to continue to relate to the women in our lives much as had our fathers. In some ways that was not bad.  For the most part we revered women as caretakers and homemakers and we admired women who pursued a career outside of the home, but women, on the whole still did not think we truly respected them or were emotionally present to or with them. 
 
As was true for most of the men I know, I had not grown up learning to explore and discuss emotional issues with men.  Spiritually I had heard a lot of conservative religious platitude or truisms such as the man was the head of the  house.  We men did not share emotions with ourselves, with the other men or the women in our lives.  In many respects we were consciously or unconsciously modeling our emotional selves on the John Wayne model. The costume might now be a different outfit - a Brooks Brother suit or even a clerical robe - but the behavior was still that of the strong, unemotional, take no prisoners, hard-working male.  
 
One of more interesting behavioral characteristics which we discovered was that much, if not most, of our behavior was intended to impress other men.  Unless we were actively pursuing a woman romantically or sexually we were not interested in their opinions. In fact, since puberty we had adopted the belief that we should hourly, if not  more often, desire females while seeking out other males for serious  relationships.
We also discovered that often, but not always, gay men had healthier, more respectful relationships with women than did heterosexual men.
 
Despite the fact that many of we men then had graduate degrees in theology, divinity, psychology or sociology our behavior with and towards women was little different than the person who had not, for whatever reason, gained any formal education beyond high school.
 
Looking back, it is amazing that even the standard measure for intelligence did not reveal the level of stupidity of many us.
 
Obviously we had a lot of work to do.
 
At any rate, K’s former partner was part of the men’s consciousness raising/support group of which I was a member in Pittsburgh in the early eighties.    Eventually, K and that person ended their romantic relationship, but I would discover in true K fashion he would continue to offer support to him and his family.  
 
If fact K  and his spouse M are men who consistently insure that love is the guiding principle in all that they do.  Although they are both very accomplished professional men and can be trusted to take their professional responsibilities seriously, they always seem to make time to help and nurture family, friends and many others in the larger community.  They give without expectations. Not surprisingly they are secret Santas.
 
They are strong, loving, dependable, responsible, emotionally present, eager to learn, humble people who happen to be male and happen to be blessed with intelligence. 
 
The men’s group has not met as a men’s group in years although this does not mean that we have stopped talking about or reading about values/character.  Nor have we stopped  challenging each other to grow emotionally, spiritually and intellectually.   We do gather as families now with each other and our respective spouses or, in some cases, former spouses and partners  of some of us.   We keep in touch via text, email, phone and visits. We will gather again in June when I am in Pittsburgh for routine medical appointments and other appointments.
 
Some of us also keep in touch with some of the folks who are still involved in the national organization.     We are far from perfect and thus need to continue to challenge each other, but we are certainly aware of our need to keep re-examining who we are and who we want to become as friends, lovers, spouses, community members, workers/professionals, and fathers who happen to be males.
 
Written May 2, 2016

​Endings are always beginnings unless they are not!
 
I have been in Oklahoma since April  24th   where I lived a significant part of my childhood. The reason for my visit was to be with my mother while she lived out the last few days of her 96 years.    She  was able to let go on the 28th.   I was very grateful that I could join some of the other members of the family for this ending which is, of course, also a beginning.    When we are present for these times of major transitions, our mind recalls the many films which have been stored and continuously edited during the intervening years.   It may be that some of these films have been hidden in a folder that got filed in the wrong place or slipped to the bottom of the file drawer to live quietly underneath the other files and went unnoticed for many years.  Some event might eventually cause one to lift all the other hanging files out of the drawer and retrieve the ones which have been resting beneath them.  As soon as we open the folders all the sensations with which we stored them may seem to erupt making what seemed like the past now the present again. 
In that sense, as so many wiser people have remarked, the past is always the present.  The future does not yet exist and when it does it is the present.  Thus, we may (or may not) come to accept that there is no time other than the present.  I am also reminded that this moment is a new opportunity which has never existed before and will never exist again.   Yet, some of we humans, having the peculiar habits that we do, may insist on rebirthing the anger, resentment, hurts, perceived or experienced slights, that were retrieved from those file folders into this present moment.  We may seem unable to accept that the past does not need to become the present.  If so, it becomes the present.  We may then carefully feed and water the anger, resentment and perceived or experienced hurts so that they can be continually rebirthed - larger and more powerful.  Eventually the process erases all but the anger, resentment and hurts.  There now is no us to celebrate the new beginnings and, of course, if there is no us there is no support or love to join us for a comforting cup of tea.  We may, of course, at this point in time, decide to adopt a new ‘family’ who may, for a time, help us nurture our negative feelings.  It may feel as if we have  successfully  transitioned to a new beginning.  Sadly, however, our present is an illusion as is the connection with our new adopted family.  Soon, new resentments, anger and  hurt will join that which we have brought with us.   We can, of course, continue this process for a very long time if we are able and willing to keep adopting a new family who will eventually disappoint the illusion which is us.   The new beginnings are, in fact, not the present and, thus, not new beginnings at all.  There are, in this play, no endings and no beginnings.  There is only the past which has become the present.
 
While it may feel dangerous to let go of the fear and resulting negative feelings the real danger is holding on to them.   Feeding the fear will not prevent one from being hurt yet again.   It will guarantee we will be hurt because we have not been present to new beginnings.  This is a very lonely place. 
 
 
I am again led to believe if there is no us to be present to the new beginning, the resulting stress is going to affect the entire universe.  The body begins with one fertilized egg. The effect of the newly born infant on the universe may seem negligible.  By the time the cells have divided enough to form an adult, the potential effect of that human is very powerful.  One could, of course, point out that even children sometimes commit mass murder or write an amazing symphony at a very early age.
 
The bottom line is that our decision  to refuse to experience a new beginning  or our inability to allow ourselves to experience a new beginning because of holding on to old anger, resentment and experienced or perceived hurts has an enormous affect internally and externally on the entire universe despite the fact that we may feel very powerless.
 
The challenge is to access the courage to enter the realm of the vast unknown of new beginnings.  We know, of course, that  as the late Dwayne Dyer reminded us that thoughts can open new doors. The power of  allowing ourselves to entrain the possibilities of a new beginning can be a giant first step in claiming our birthright to a life of discoveries, love and new possibilities.
 
Written April 29, 2016