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Freedom

8/6/2021

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Freedom
 
Throughout the world, or at least planet earth, the visit of covid, including its variants, has sparked, or at least intensified passionate debates about individual freedom versus the rights of the larger community.  Whether to have mask mandates, vaccinations requirements,  and/or other restrictions to prevent or at least greatly slow down the deaths rate from this pandemic are the subjects of ongoing, often heated debates, among medical professionals, politicians, business enterprises, economists, and individual citizens.   Inconclusive information, patently false information, educated guesses as well as the views of those whose vision is limited to their immediate needs and very real fears affect how one relates to covid.  Even information and recommendations from the United States Centers for Disease Control has frequently changed as personnel there weigh such factors as what would be medically optimal against what might be enforceable and what new information is not yet known.
 
The pandemic arrived on planet Earth at a time when there was acute trust issues between and among citizens, between and among political groups and between and among medical professionals.    Additionally, it arrived at a historic period which boasted public media platforms from various television news stations, Facebook Twitter, You Tube and a host of others.  Never in the history of this planet has there been so many ways to disseminate accurate and inaccurate information based on educated scientific guesses as well private and public agendas, fears, and widespread distrust. 
 
It is, thus, not surprising that it has been often impossible to arrive at a single and consistent community plan to move through and past this pandemic.
 
There is a lot of talk about freedom. Sadly, talk about freedom is often limited to freedom from or freedom to, but seldom is inclusive of both aspects of freedom.   In my memory I was first challenged to think of freedom to as well as freedom from in political philosophy class.  I had previously been invited to think of freedom in terms of individual freedom to choose a career, to serve my country as a member of the Armed Forces, to choose my religion and to make other individual choices.  There was little talk about how individual exercise of freedom might impact the freedom of others.
 
In recent years in the United States, even before the arrival of covid, there has been a lot of talk about freedom to make one’s own choices as if one’s choices did not affect other members of one’s family or community.  Thus, one was free to use nicotine products, drink excessively, use other drugs addictively, eat unhealthy food, make parental decisions for one’s child, to have and use a vastly unequal share of resources, to preach hate, or otherwise engage in behavior regardless of how it affected others.  The thinking seem to be that we all had “free will” and equal opportunities.  Of course, many of us knew that “free will” is not nearly as “free” as we would like to believe; that many factors including systemic, and historic racism, sexism, homophobia, and a host of other factors affect what choices we can and do make.  Many of us knew many factors affect what opportunities are available to each of us. 
 
Clearly, we all have the freedom to not get covid vaccines, but that freedom affects the freedom of others to safely move about in the world.  Clearly,  one has the freedom to not wear a mask, but the exercise of that freedom also potentially affects the health of others.  Clearly, we have the freedom to spread the virus but that affects the freedom and potentially the life of others.  We have the freedom to be fearful but to allow that fear to make our decisions means that others are not as free.  
 
Perhaps we always need to ask how the exercise of our freedom affects the freedom of others.  If, for example, one exercises one freedom to eat unhealthy food which eventually has adverse side effects, should the larger community have the freedom or refuse one medical service, housing, or other basic needs?  Does any of us know anyone who completely refrains from unhealthy behavior?    Do we truly hold all people equally accountable for all their behavior?  Do we distribute resources equally?    Do we equally value the job of the attorney, doctor, administrator, janitor, ambulance driver, farmer?  Is high quality health care, decent housing, utilities, education and even access to information via the internet equally available to all who perform, valuable services.  Does the freedom to declare that we know the one true God affect others adversely? Does this create an us-them decision which ultimately  affect how we, as a community, distribute resources including our affection and respect for each other.
 
if we are going to talk about freedom, let’s do so with the acknowledgment that every exercise of freedom to make a choice has potentially positive and negative consequences for others.  Let’s  admit that discussion of freedom from needs to consider how the exercise of that freedom affects the freedom to for others. 
 
Written August 6, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 ​
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Just Notice

8/3/2021

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 Just notice
 
It is easy and convenient to blame others when a passionate disagreement occurs.  It is also easy to blame and be angry at oneself.  Often, someone says or does something which triggers an automatic response.  As we know, automatic responses occur when we have repeatedly practiced a thought process or behavior.   Automatic responses can also occur when the memory of a traumatic event or experiences is triggered. A loud noise can trigger the memory of artillery or other war related sounds for someone who has returned from a war zone.   There may be myriad experiences associated with combat or other history of trauma including death or serious injury of self,  friends or others.   Thoughts of those losses may then trigger memories of other losses.  Colors, sounds, shapes, smells, tastes and other memories may be associated with those losses.  Some of these memories may be extremely sad and others may be happy.  Depending on the emotional content and strength of these memories one may find oneself reacting with intense fear, joy, anger or some combination of emotions.   One may even react defensively.  
 
Daily, I hear from individuals or read about individuals who blame another person or situation for their unkind or even violent response.   Daily I listen to myself blaming or about to blame another person, event or object for my response.  My goal is to realize that I am making a choice of how to respond or I am accessing a habit.  Habits can activate muscle memory so one is not consciously aware of making a choice.
 
For example, a minute ago a client sent me a threatening text message.  This person has a history of being violent even though the story he tells himself is that he is never violent.  My first thought was to tell him to stop sending me threatening messages.  My second thought was to not respond. I know this person’s anger is related to fear.  I also know that he has long practiced responding to fear with bullying anger accompanied by throwing objects or otherwise threatening harm.  Responding to his anger with anger is likely to feed it resulting in more acute threats.   Even responding to his anger with an acknowledgement of the pain or fear underlying the anger is likely to feed his pain and resulting anger.   I know this but it is difficult for me to not allow his behavior to trigger my fear and resulting anger.  I know the most effective response is to either say nothing or to respond with a soft, loving voice.  The other person is not responsible for my response.  He or she cannot cause me to respond in a certain way. 
 
Although this may sound like a simple lesson, it is, in fact, a very difficult one for most of us.  My spiritual teacher suggests the follow practices or steps:
 
·      Breathe  before responding to any situation. Focus on breath until one can make a conscious choice of how one wants to respond.
 
·      Do not label the behavior of the other person.  My teacher says, “Drop the dualities. Do not label the person or event as good, bad, right or wrong.”
 
·      Consider the possibility that all unkind or hurtful behavior arises out of pain.
 
·      Think about what response feels helpful when you are in pain.  Do you just need loving space to breathe, some physical distance,  or the quiet presence of another. 
 
 
Sometimes no matter how one responds the other person will experience one as a threat.  If at all possible, continue to lovingly refuse to accept the invitation to the angry and or judgment space. 
 
The goal is to begin to take one’s power back; to not give others the power to trigger a response which is inconsistent with one’s spiritual goals and values.   One will find that like all lessons this is a process.  One might not start breathing or remember to breathe until one is notices one’s own anger or bully behavior. The goal is to just notice and not judge oneself. 
Judging oneself merely feeds the habit. If one notices oneself judging oneself the goal is to just notice and not judge oneself for being judgmental. When changing behavior, at whatever point one is aware of one’s response, the goal is to non-judgmentally notice; to drop the dualities/labeling and breathe.    This may feel very unnatural as does all new behavior.  With practice it will feel “very natural”.
 
 
Written August 3, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Sunday Musings - August 1, 2021

8/1/2021

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Sunday Musings - August 1, 2021
 
In the United States, as well as in other countries, there is an acute housing shortage.  My understanding is that the housing shortage is affecting all income levels although, of course, those with more income are in a better position to outbid on new construction or existing houses.    In addition to the post pandemic price of materials, including lumber, there is a shortage of skilled carpenters.  The reason for this is multi layered, but part of the problem has been an over emphasis on going to college and not enough encouragement to join an apprentice program. 
 
Ideally, of course, one attends college to learn how to think and, thus, how to  create a more just, inclusive world. Sadly, past surveys indicate that a large percentage of college students in the United States attend college to learn how to make money which has very little relationship to why or how one lives with self, others, or Mother Nature. 
 
For many years, another myth was that one necessarily earns more money and, thus, can take better care of one’s family if one has a college degree.  In fact, many surveys did find, on the average, college graduates have earned more money than the non-college graduate. Some additional facts:
 
·      How much money one earns may not indicate how happy or satisfied with life one is. 
 
·      For most of us quality of life is improved if we have the basics of a safe home for ourselves and our family, enough healthy food, health care,  and heat. We also feel better if we can provide the opportunity for our children to grow emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.
 
·      Power, position, large home, and material goods do not in and of themselves equal emotional, spiritual, or mental health.
 
·      Many skilled laborers earn as much or more money than college graduates.
 
·      Many college graduates are struggling to pay off huge student loans and due to interest will often pay them off many times over.
 
·      Attending college or even graduate school does not necessarily result in being able to articulate and respond to question about the purpose of this life journey, the spiritual legacy one wants to leave, or how-to live-in harmony with people and the rest of mother nature. Obtaining a bachelor’s degree in philosophy did force me to ask important life questions but had nothing to do with earning a living.
 
·      Sadly, for many, religion is about avoiding punishment or hell and has little to do with guiding one in being present with love to the rest of the universe.  Too often religion is about an us-them mentality
 
The older one gets the more one realizes that if one lives 4 score and 7 years or even  5 score life is over in in the blink of an eye. Anyone who has been to an “estate” sale knows that most relatives have no use for the many material items one has accumulated. One can pick up a box of assorted stuff for a few dollars at an estate safe.  A few items might be valuable to someone else, but soon that stuff will wear out or be placed in another box at another estate sale. 
 
Daily we all leave a life structure which can be built on sand, swap land, or a carefully constructed foundation; a foundation which, like the buildings which architects such as Frank Lloyd Wright attempted to design, exist in harmony with the Mother Nature.  Such architects are acutely aware even their buildings may be imperfect long-term companions to Mother Nature .
 
Many of us will not live to be four score and 7 or even two score and 7. No matter how many score we live, each day is an opportunity to construct a foundation.  We have no control over what happens to that foundation or how it is received.  If I love my son unconditionally he may or may not, for a host of reasons, receive it as such.   That is not my concern and is certainly out of my control.
 
I was recently reminded by Krista Tippett on her podcast On Being that we begin as star dust.  I love the image of love falling like stardust to create the blocks for the foundation I will leave today.   I once owned a home which had been built by skilled crafts people in the 19th century.  The stained-glass windows, pocket doors, magnificent staircase, and a million other details told me the house had been constructed with love and pride - with stardust.
 
The wood, glass and other materials could be destroyed by a fire or tornado tomorrow, but the stardust is eternal.  It is pure energy which cannot be created or destroyed.   It may resettle anywhere in the universe(s), but it will continue to be stardust. 
 
What will be the legacy of my stardust today?
 
Written August 1, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
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    Jimmy Pickett is a life student who happens to be a licensed counselor and an addiction counselor. He is a student of Buddhism with a background of Christianity and a Native American heritage.

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