The queen mother frees us
The death of Queen Elizabeth on September 8, 2022 has elicited an outpouring of gratitude, admiration and grief. Most of those to whom I have spoken, regardless of their thoughts and feelings about the monarch and the long, sordid history of colonial oppressive abuse of individuals and countries, are, nonetheless, experiencing an acute sense of sadness.
A friend of mine remarked that in some respects she was the Queen for the world or the Queen Mother for the world. In a world which seems to be in a constant state of flux; for many, unstable with nothing solid under one’s feet or to put in one’s belly, many report feeling insignificant and lost as if they are throwaways. Many are without a country because of war, famine, political violence or other consequences of our failure to honor the fact that we are all brothers and sisters; that we are all family.
All too frequently it seems as if many of us mask our grief of being abandoned with anger. Our sense of helplessness morphs into a weapon against ourselves and/or each other.
The covid related necessity of social distancing and mask wearing further distanced many of us from the ritual of expressing and sharing our grief for personal and community loses.
Politically there also has been no stability or faith in the political parties or people.
For most of us there is no equivalent of the wailing wall; a place where we can express the wail of the depths of our grief; our feeling of being disconnected.
Perhaps for many around the world, Queen Elizabeth represented someone and something solid; someone or something which was going to be there. For 70 years she was the strong, ever-present presence and voice of reason. She did not align herself with political positions, fashion (although in her own way she was fashionable) or fads. She did not share her private griefs although she may, at times, have acknowledged they existed. As is true for many young children she was for many the empathetic person without demanding anything of others. Of course, we know that behind the closed doors there were those to whom she might have turned for solace or care. We knew, at some level, servants, physicians, and clergy stood by to care for her.
King Charles in his speech honoring the life of his mother recounted her pledge as a young woman of 21 “to devote her life, whether it be short or long to the service of her pupils.”
No matter the commitment of King Charles one cannot conceive that he can fill the shoes of the Queen Mother. Her death is not only the end of an era, but for many an occasion to trigger the grief which has been sealed in vaults behind walls of hopelessness, anger, and perhaps denial.
Perhaps as some of us open the gates to allow the grief to freely flow, we will find new strength; a new sense of resolve to, as expressed by King Charles, to serve. In serving we can, if courage allows, find our worth and strength.
Written Sept 13, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
The death of Queen Elizabeth on September 8, 2022 has elicited an outpouring of gratitude, admiration and grief. Most of those to whom I have spoken, regardless of their thoughts and feelings about the monarch and the long, sordid history of colonial oppressive abuse of individuals and countries, are, nonetheless, experiencing an acute sense of sadness.
A friend of mine remarked that in some respects she was the Queen for the world or the Queen Mother for the world. In a world which seems to be in a constant state of flux; for many, unstable with nothing solid under one’s feet or to put in one’s belly, many report feeling insignificant and lost as if they are throwaways. Many are without a country because of war, famine, political violence or other consequences of our failure to honor the fact that we are all brothers and sisters; that we are all family.
All too frequently it seems as if many of us mask our grief of being abandoned with anger. Our sense of helplessness morphs into a weapon against ourselves and/or each other.
The covid related necessity of social distancing and mask wearing further distanced many of us from the ritual of expressing and sharing our grief for personal and community loses.
Politically there also has been no stability or faith in the political parties or people.
For most of us there is no equivalent of the wailing wall; a place where we can express the wail of the depths of our grief; our feeling of being disconnected.
Perhaps for many around the world, Queen Elizabeth represented someone and something solid; someone or something which was going to be there. For 70 years she was the strong, ever-present presence and voice of reason. She did not align herself with political positions, fashion (although in her own way she was fashionable) or fads. She did not share her private griefs although she may, at times, have acknowledged they existed. As is true for many young children she was for many the empathetic person without demanding anything of others. Of course, we know that behind the closed doors there were those to whom she might have turned for solace or care. We knew, at some level, servants, physicians, and clergy stood by to care for her.
King Charles in his speech honoring the life of his mother recounted her pledge as a young woman of 21 “to devote her life, whether it be short or long to the service of her pupils.”
No matter the commitment of King Charles one cannot conceive that he can fill the shoes of the Queen Mother. Her death is not only the end of an era, but for many an occasion to trigger the grief which has been sealed in vaults behind walls of hopelessness, anger, and perhaps denial.
Perhaps as some of us open the gates to allow the grief to freely flow, we will find new strength; a new sense of resolve to, as expressed by King Charles, to serve. In serving we can, if courage allows, find our worth and strength.
Written Sept 13, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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