Attachments: Progress not perfection
I am daily reminded that spiritual growth is a process and not a destination. Just last evening I facilitated a discussion regarding our tendency as humans to become attached to the belief that we can only:
All of us could, I am sure, add to this list. As humans, we often get attached to beliefs which make contentment, success or happiness impossible.
Obviously all of or most of us want:
There is nothing wrong with wanting or appreciating these gifts if they come our way, Yet, we all have to spend a lifetime being miserable or come to terms with the fact that we do not control other persons, places, things, and events. None of us could have prevented the visit of Covid-19. None of us can prevent hurricanes, tornadoes and other visits of mother nature. None can control all the people and factors which form how and what decisions others make. None of us can stop a person from falling in love with a new partner. None of us can avoid making mistakes even if our main mistake is doing nothing for fear of making mistakes.
Attachments are like locked doors to which only we have the keys. We can let go of the attachment – the belief that I can only if . We only can unlock the door to the world as it is instead of the world we demand it to be. We can blame other people, places or things for our unhappiness, lack of success, anger or addiction but the fact remains that our happiness/contentment/success is dependent on accepting:
Identifying and letting go of attachments is a lifelong goal and process. It is never a destination. Today I am slightly better than I was yesterday at identifying my attachments, noticing them without judging them, and breathing out the tenseness which accompanies attachments. My goal is to keep inching my way forward.
Written May 7, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
I am daily reminded that spiritual growth is a process and not a destination. Just last evening I facilitated a discussion regarding our tendency as humans to become attached to the belief that we can only:
- Move ahead spiritually if …
- Be successful if we have ….
- Be worthwhile if person X loves and respects me.
- Be attractive if …’
- Be happy or content if we have the perfect partner.
- Be a good friend/partner/parent if we can control them.
- Be okay if social distancing ends soon.
- Exercise if the gyms are open.
- Have access to recovery if there is a program which does not suggest one put one’s belief in a higher power.
- Be a successful heath care worker if all patients/clients live.
- Be a successful teacher, health care provider if paid a certain amount.
- Be a successful teacher, supervisor, health care worker if all students/patients/employees/patients/clients like me.
- Live if we can learn to safely and successfully use an addictive substance.
- Live if we have sex without having to make a commitment.
All of us could, I am sure, add to this list. As humans, we often get attached to beliefs which make contentment, success or happiness impossible.
Obviously all of or most of us want:
- To be successful however we define success.
- To enjoy the positive support of others.
- To do better with personal and work partners.
- Our children, friends, partners and coworkers to be successful however they define success.
- All we love to be happy/content.
- Our customers, patients, clients to be happy and appreciative
- To be loved and respected by all.
- To get the Nobel prize or its equivalent.
There is nothing wrong with wanting or appreciating these gifts if they come our way, Yet, we all have to spend a lifetime being miserable or come to terms with the fact that we do not control other persons, places, things, and events. None of us could have prevented the visit of Covid-19. None of us can prevent hurricanes, tornadoes and other visits of mother nature. None can control all the people and factors which form how and what decisions others make. None of us can stop a person from falling in love with a new partner. None of us can avoid making mistakes even if our main mistake is doing nothing for fear of making mistakes.
Attachments are like locked doors to which only we have the keys. We can let go of the attachment – the belief that I can only if . We only can unlock the door to the world as it is instead of the world we demand it to be. We can blame other people, places or things for our unhappiness, lack of success, anger or addiction but the fact remains that our happiness/contentment/success is dependent on accepting:
- Our own humanness as well as the humanness of others.
- Accepting life on life terms. Certainly we may learn to be better prepared for the next pandemic, hurricane, tornado or other act of nature but will not prevent them.
- That life is, at best, ten minutes long, and all we have control over is doing our personal best just for today to treat ourselves and others with love and respect in the context of our mutual humanness.
Identifying and letting go of attachments is a lifelong goal and process. It is never a destination. Today I am slightly better than I was yesterday at identifying my attachments, noticing them without judging them, and breathing out the tenseness which accompanies attachments. My goal is to keep inching my way forward.
Written May 7, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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