Back to the future
Back to the Future is a 1985 science fiction film written by Zemeckis and Bob Gale. The title popped into my head this morning even though the story line of the film has nothing to do with the thoughts which prompted the memory.
Last evening, I was talking with a friend about how difficult it is to unlearn so much of what we learned as children about the artificial constructs of masculinity, femininity, race, age and other isms. My friend is a responsible, loving, thoughtful, bright male who is comfortable doing any tasks or chore at home or professionally without labeling them as masculine or feminine. Yet, when it comes to evaluating his own worth, he uses very John Wayne like concepts of masculinity. His son fortunately is adopting what his dad says he believes rather than how he treats himself. We joked about the fact that some part of him is still committed to impressing or pleasing those nameless “them” or “others” who, even if he knew them, would not impress him.
This morning, while at the gym on the rowing machine, I was listening and watching a Ted talk on the response of the United States and other countries to the September 11 attack in the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon and the intended attacks by those flying the plane which passengers forced to crash in Pennsylvania. The speaker was a woman who has worked for many years in the security field and extensively researched the long term results of national and international response to conflict. This woman has what I heard as a “weak”, tiny voice and is a slender, traditionally attractive, young looking female. My first thought upon hearing her voice and seeing her appearance was that it was doubtful she would have anything substantial to say. Fortunately, I know enough to ignore such thoughts, and went on to listen to her very erudite, insightful talk. I was particularly impressed with the fact that she was viewing action with a long-term lens. For example, what happens long term if the response to terrorism disrupts the education of entire generations of civilians in many countries?
The speaker was Dr. Benedetta Berti who is described in the Ted introductory remarks as “…a foreign policy and security researcher, analyst, consultant, author and lecturer. .Dr. Berti is the author of four books, including Armed Political Organization, From Conflict to Integration…In 2015 the Italian government awarded her the Order of the Start of Italy (order of Knighthood)”
One can goggle her name and get a more complete list of her credentials and achievements. It is not short.
Clearly the tone or nature of her speaking voice, her seeming youth, and the fact that that she is a traditionally attractive woman tell me nothing about her qualifications to speak and what I might learn from her. Yet, lies that I learned as a very young child and which live in my head in addition to being still promoted in many parts of our culture, almost prevented me from learning from her.
I was not born with the social constructs of these systemic, institutionalized, lies about who we are and our potential for helping to create a more just and peaceful world. Fortunately, many years ago, I was challenged (mostly by women initially) to take responsibility for identifying and changing those lies inside my head and changing how I speak and live my life in relationship with others. I gladly accepted the challenge and have been diligently working to identify and change the lies ever since. Apparently, I am either a very slow learner and/or it is very difficult to change the habits of beliefs which we learn as young children. Probably both are true.
Living the lies of these social constructs has not produced positive results in any areas of our lives. It is imperative that we continue to challenge and help each other to identify and correct these lies. In the meantime, we can also be very diligent in helping each other teach our young children new truths about who we are and how working together can create a more just and loving world.
Written September 12, 2018
Back to the Future is a 1985 science fiction film written by Zemeckis and Bob Gale. The title popped into my head this morning even though the story line of the film has nothing to do with the thoughts which prompted the memory.
Last evening, I was talking with a friend about how difficult it is to unlearn so much of what we learned as children about the artificial constructs of masculinity, femininity, race, age and other isms. My friend is a responsible, loving, thoughtful, bright male who is comfortable doing any tasks or chore at home or professionally without labeling them as masculine or feminine. Yet, when it comes to evaluating his own worth, he uses very John Wayne like concepts of masculinity. His son fortunately is adopting what his dad says he believes rather than how he treats himself. We joked about the fact that some part of him is still committed to impressing or pleasing those nameless “them” or “others” who, even if he knew them, would not impress him.
This morning, while at the gym on the rowing machine, I was listening and watching a Ted talk on the response of the United States and other countries to the September 11 attack in the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon and the intended attacks by those flying the plane which passengers forced to crash in Pennsylvania. The speaker was a woman who has worked for many years in the security field and extensively researched the long term results of national and international response to conflict. This woman has what I heard as a “weak”, tiny voice and is a slender, traditionally attractive, young looking female. My first thought upon hearing her voice and seeing her appearance was that it was doubtful she would have anything substantial to say. Fortunately, I know enough to ignore such thoughts, and went on to listen to her very erudite, insightful talk. I was particularly impressed with the fact that she was viewing action with a long-term lens. For example, what happens long term if the response to terrorism disrupts the education of entire generations of civilians in many countries?
The speaker was Dr. Benedetta Berti who is described in the Ted introductory remarks as “…a foreign policy and security researcher, analyst, consultant, author and lecturer. .Dr. Berti is the author of four books, including Armed Political Organization, From Conflict to Integration…In 2015 the Italian government awarded her the Order of the Start of Italy (order of Knighthood)”
One can goggle her name and get a more complete list of her credentials and achievements. It is not short.
Clearly the tone or nature of her speaking voice, her seeming youth, and the fact that that she is a traditionally attractive woman tell me nothing about her qualifications to speak and what I might learn from her. Yet, lies that I learned as a very young child and which live in my head in addition to being still promoted in many parts of our culture, almost prevented me from learning from her.
I was not born with the social constructs of these systemic, institutionalized, lies about who we are and our potential for helping to create a more just and peaceful world. Fortunately, many years ago, I was challenged (mostly by women initially) to take responsibility for identifying and changing those lies inside my head and changing how I speak and live my life in relationship with others. I gladly accepted the challenge and have been diligently working to identify and change the lies ever since. Apparently, I am either a very slow learner and/or it is very difficult to change the habits of beliefs which we learn as young children. Probably both are true.
Living the lies of these social constructs has not produced positive results in any areas of our lives. It is imperative that we continue to challenge and help each other to identify and correct these lies. In the meantime, we can also be very diligent in helping each other teach our young children new truths about who we are and how working together can create a more just and loving world.
Written September 12, 2018
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