Bigga deal
My friend “J” often experienced the start of the fall semester at the school where he was a beloved art teacher as the occasion for acute anxiety – a paralyzing fear at times. Another friend is in the process of attempting to let go of a behavior which only brings him acute anxiety and feeling bad about himself. He is very serious about letting go of the anxiety which results in more anxiety.
“J” learned to say to the anxiety “bigga deal” and laugh. This did not immediately dispel the fear, but it was a step in remembering that every year he survived the opening and had a fantastic year. “J” was well aware that using such techniques as color, depth, perspective and light one could birth a new reality to potentially challenge the soul of the viewer. He gave these gifts to many over the years. Yet, the anxiety/fear continued to try to convince him he might not be an effective teacher. No amount of experience to the contrary entirely kept this feeling at bay. Yet, he learned he could stand up to it, laugh and say “bigga deal”.
We frequently encounter the painful reminder of the reality of mother nature and of us humans toward ourselves and one another. We often go to great lengths to avoid dealing with this reality. We may decide if we stay numbed out with alcohol, other drugs, sex, power, degrees, possessions or food that we can avoid this reality. Yet, nothing we do works for more than a short time, If lucky, some eventually accept that “one is too many and a thousand is not enough and learn to laugh at the fears and say: “Bigga deal. Bring it on. I can face life on life’s terms.”
Preparing for the new year of teaching, gathering all we need to complete a major project, getting through college or other training, facing the death of a loved one – even a child - accepting that a marriage is over and it is time to move on, facing the emotional and economic fallout of covid-19 reminds us that “the best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men Gang aft a-gley (often go awry) (Robert Burns – “To a Mouse”) No matter what, life shows up and we either face it head on with a sense of humor or we live with constant agony
In ancient Greece the word humors referred to the belief in the balance or imbalance of the four fluids in one’s body which dictated one’s temperament and overall health. Most of us use the word humor today to refer to a potential response to one’s nervousness or an attempt to rebalance ourselves or a situation. Those of us who take the arrival of life on life’s terms too seriously are likely to experience an imbalance in our bodies which could lead to serious medical issues and a sour temperament. Humor can be a method of restoring balance in our life dance. If one has a sense of humor one does not use it to avoid dealing with life on life’s terns , bur to get enough distance to problem solve.
We often experience this life dance very seriously and may become Immobilized as a result. If we laugh at our own seriousness we can begin to accept ourselves and life on life’s terms.
One does not want to confuse the use of humor with the action of belittling or making fun of someone . Laughing at someone is never helpful. Laughing with someone or ourselves can be a very healthy and healing act to restore balance (humors).
Thanks “J” for the reminder
Written September 22, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett, LPC, AADC
My friend “J” often experienced the start of the fall semester at the school where he was a beloved art teacher as the occasion for acute anxiety – a paralyzing fear at times. Another friend is in the process of attempting to let go of a behavior which only brings him acute anxiety and feeling bad about himself. He is very serious about letting go of the anxiety which results in more anxiety.
“J” learned to say to the anxiety “bigga deal” and laugh. This did not immediately dispel the fear, but it was a step in remembering that every year he survived the opening and had a fantastic year. “J” was well aware that using such techniques as color, depth, perspective and light one could birth a new reality to potentially challenge the soul of the viewer. He gave these gifts to many over the years. Yet, the anxiety/fear continued to try to convince him he might not be an effective teacher. No amount of experience to the contrary entirely kept this feeling at bay. Yet, he learned he could stand up to it, laugh and say “bigga deal”.
We frequently encounter the painful reminder of the reality of mother nature and of us humans toward ourselves and one another. We often go to great lengths to avoid dealing with this reality. We may decide if we stay numbed out with alcohol, other drugs, sex, power, degrees, possessions or food that we can avoid this reality. Yet, nothing we do works for more than a short time, If lucky, some eventually accept that “one is too many and a thousand is not enough and learn to laugh at the fears and say: “Bigga deal. Bring it on. I can face life on life’s terms.”
Preparing for the new year of teaching, gathering all we need to complete a major project, getting through college or other training, facing the death of a loved one – even a child - accepting that a marriage is over and it is time to move on, facing the emotional and economic fallout of covid-19 reminds us that “the best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men Gang aft a-gley (often go awry) (Robert Burns – “To a Mouse”) No matter what, life shows up and we either face it head on with a sense of humor or we live with constant agony
In ancient Greece the word humors referred to the belief in the balance or imbalance of the four fluids in one’s body which dictated one’s temperament and overall health. Most of us use the word humor today to refer to a potential response to one’s nervousness or an attempt to rebalance ourselves or a situation. Those of us who take the arrival of life on life’s terms too seriously are likely to experience an imbalance in our bodies which could lead to serious medical issues and a sour temperament. Humor can be a method of restoring balance in our life dance. If one has a sense of humor one does not use it to avoid dealing with life on life’s terns , bur to get enough distance to problem solve.
We often experience this life dance very seriously and may become Immobilized as a result. If we laugh at our own seriousness we can begin to accept ourselves and life on life’s terms.
One does not want to confuse the use of humor with the action of belittling or making fun of someone . Laughing at someone is never helpful. Laughing with someone or ourselves can be a very healthy and healing act to restore balance (humors).
Thanks “J” for the reminder
Written September 22, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett, LPC, AADC
RSS Feed