“Carbonated holiness”
I borrowed this phrase from Ann Lamott who, in an April, 2017 Ted Talk entitled “12 Things I Know for Sure” said “Laughter really is carbonated holiness…It helps us breath again and again, and gives up back to ourselves.” She says this in the context of the listing of the 10 things she knows for sure, “Grace is a powerful thing.” She says, “The mystery of grace is that God loves Henry Kissinger and Vladimir Putin and me exactly as much as He or She loves your new grandchild.”
I have often listened to talks by Ann Lamott. Several of her recordings are on my smartphone so that I can listen to them while working out at the gym. Her talks sit alongside those of Pema Chodron, the Buddhist nun. They are equally valuable to my spiritual growth. Both of these women are, I think, deeply spiritual, have a great sense of humor and speak in a way which validates the common humanness of all of us. It is interesting that both of these women also have a connection to the 12-step recovery program. Ms. Chodron has a daughter-in-law who in in recovery for the disease of alcoholism and Ms. Lamott herself is in recovery for alcoholism. Both women talk with one and never to one or, most important, down to one. They are women who, to the best of my knowledge, work hard to walk the walk of spiritual growth which means, in part, that they often fall short of this goals. They also both recognize that the concept of Grace is, from a human perspective, ridiculous. Really! Grace, as I understand it is unconditional love. As Ms. Lamott says no matter how much we humans demonstrate that we are capable of unkind, even cruel and just plain stupid behavior; no matter how often we resolve to do better and fail miserably; no matter how often we commit to treating ourselves and others as sacred and can only hold on to that commitment for 3 seconds; no matter how many good or bad deeds we do, Grace says that we are equally deserving of unconditional love. This seems terribly unfair. After all, how can I be compared to someone who was responsible for the Holocaust or terrible injustices in Russia, those who want to deny healthcare to millions of people, the person who sexually abuses young children or…. Surely that is unjust. Why bother to work so hard to earn points for feeding the homeless, being a responsible parent, or forgiving my enemy if “one of those other evil people” earn just as many points. That is the point, isn’t it? Grace is not dependent on our very unscientific system for counting points. In fact, Grace has nothing to do with points or earning respect or love. Grace is, from a human concept, this ridiculous concept, rule or whatever it is. Yet, the God of my understanding or the universe tells me that we are all part of a whole. Yes, it matters that we do the very best we can to be a loving, responsible, person who uses the talents we have to create a more loving world. Yes, it is better if we face our “character defects” and our illnesses which keep us from being our best. Yes, I will have a more complete life and give more if I am daily intentional about spiritual growth – whatever that means. Yes, I want to do my best to do the next right thing. Yes, daily the more I attempt to prove my worth, to earn the respect of others, to be this spiritual giant the more I fail. In my mind, the more I fail, the more the God of my understanding just smiles. Actually, it is not a smile but often, I think, a fill belly laugh.
The paradox is, of course, that the more I try to prove my worth the more I show my worst side – the more I fail. If, however, I begin from a position of worth and just do my very best the more I will come closer to being that human who can smile when I look in the mirror.
When I see clients for counseling who are intent on making a big deal out of being this very talented, loving, cruel, stupid, bright, silly human I often ask if they have considered wearing a costume which is as dramatic as the drama they are acting out. More often than not, the person looks at me as if I have missed the point and/or are making fun of them. Yet, the point is that unless we learn to laugh along with Anne Lamott and Pema Chodron we will be miserable no matter how much we try to the “good”.
It seems to me that the God of my understanding is laughter or as Ms. Lamott says, “carbonated holiness”. If the God of our understanding took us as serious as we take ourselves, we would not be worth loving. It is because He, She, it does not take us so seriously – is perfectly okay with our imperfect perfection – that Grace is even possible.
Unlike the bear, the skunk, the pig, cow, chicken, lion or all the other living creature’s we humans have a terrible time accepting the obvious. This obvious is that we are human. Unlike the other animals we can broadcast our naked silliness. We can put in in print, send instant messages, put it on film, send it out on the airwaves and like the emperor with no clothes convince ourselves that no one will notice that, in our nakedness, we are not that different from all the others doing the same thing. We can either cry about that or have a good belly laugh and move on towards acceptance which, of course, is Grace.
Written June 28, 2017
I borrowed this phrase from Ann Lamott who, in an April, 2017 Ted Talk entitled “12 Things I Know for Sure” said “Laughter really is carbonated holiness…It helps us breath again and again, and gives up back to ourselves.” She says this in the context of the listing of the 10 things she knows for sure, “Grace is a powerful thing.” She says, “The mystery of grace is that God loves Henry Kissinger and Vladimir Putin and me exactly as much as He or She loves your new grandchild.”
I have often listened to talks by Ann Lamott. Several of her recordings are on my smartphone so that I can listen to them while working out at the gym. Her talks sit alongside those of Pema Chodron, the Buddhist nun. They are equally valuable to my spiritual growth. Both of these women are, I think, deeply spiritual, have a great sense of humor and speak in a way which validates the common humanness of all of us. It is interesting that both of these women also have a connection to the 12-step recovery program. Ms. Chodron has a daughter-in-law who in in recovery for the disease of alcoholism and Ms. Lamott herself is in recovery for alcoholism. Both women talk with one and never to one or, most important, down to one. They are women who, to the best of my knowledge, work hard to walk the walk of spiritual growth which means, in part, that they often fall short of this goals. They also both recognize that the concept of Grace is, from a human perspective, ridiculous. Really! Grace, as I understand it is unconditional love. As Ms. Lamott says no matter how much we humans demonstrate that we are capable of unkind, even cruel and just plain stupid behavior; no matter how often we resolve to do better and fail miserably; no matter how often we commit to treating ourselves and others as sacred and can only hold on to that commitment for 3 seconds; no matter how many good or bad deeds we do, Grace says that we are equally deserving of unconditional love. This seems terribly unfair. After all, how can I be compared to someone who was responsible for the Holocaust or terrible injustices in Russia, those who want to deny healthcare to millions of people, the person who sexually abuses young children or…. Surely that is unjust. Why bother to work so hard to earn points for feeding the homeless, being a responsible parent, or forgiving my enemy if “one of those other evil people” earn just as many points. That is the point, isn’t it? Grace is not dependent on our very unscientific system for counting points. In fact, Grace has nothing to do with points or earning respect or love. Grace is, from a human concept, this ridiculous concept, rule or whatever it is. Yet, the God of my understanding or the universe tells me that we are all part of a whole. Yes, it matters that we do the very best we can to be a loving, responsible, person who uses the talents we have to create a more loving world. Yes, it is better if we face our “character defects” and our illnesses which keep us from being our best. Yes, I will have a more complete life and give more if I am daily intentional about spiritual growth – whatever that means. Yes, I want to do my best to do the next right thing. Yes, daily the more I attempt to prove my worth, to earn the respect of others, to be this spiritual giant the more I fail. In my mind, the more I fail, the more the God of my understanding just smiles. Actually, it is not a smile but often, I think, a fill belly laugh.
The paradox is, of course, that the more I try to prove my worth the more I show my worst side – the more I fail. If, however, I begin from a position of worth and just do my very best the more I will come closer to being that human who can smile when I look in the mirror.
When I see clients for counseling who are intent on making a big deal out of being this very talented, loving, cruel, stupid, bright, silly human I often ask if they have considered wearing a costume which is as dramatic as the drama they are acting out. More often than not, the person looks at me as if I have missed the point and/or are making fun of them. Yet, the point is that unless we learn to laugh along with Anne Lamott and Pema Chodron we will be miserable no matter how much we try to the “good”.
It seems to me that the God of my understanding is laughter or as Ms. Lamott says, “carbonated holiness”. If the God of our understanding took us as serious as we take ourselves, we would not be worth loving. It is because He, She, it does not take us so seriously – is perfectly okay with our imperfect perfection – that Grace is even possible.
Unlike the bear, the skunk, the pig, cow, chicken, lion or all the other living creature’s we humans have a terrible time accepting the obvious. This obvious is that we are human. Unlike the other animals we can broadcast our naked silliness. We can put in in print, send instant messages, put it on film, send it out on the airwaves and like the emperor with no clothes convince ourselves that no one will notice that, in our nakedness, we are not that different from all the others doing the same thing. We can either cry about that or have a good belly laugh and move on towards acceptance which, of course, is Grace.
Written June 28, 2017
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