​Sunday Musings – March 14, 2021
 
As readers know I am now living in Tulsa, Oklahoma.   Oklahoma is noted for its conservative stances on many issues. This conservative stance is obvious with our choice of national representatives and state representatives.  Already this year, the state legislature has introduced bills to further limit abortion rights, allow the state health department to override local health departments, phase out corporate tax, block courts from stopping evictions, decide that federals laws or executive orders are unconstitutional and tighten protest related penalties. 
 
 
Many who advocate some of these and related measures sincerely believe that their approach is best for the majority of citizens.  On the other hand, those who advocate more liberal or so called progressive policies believe their approach is best for the majority of citizens. If not careful each side not only espouses a particular approach but does so in a way which discounts the possibility that there is only one right answer.    Sadly, rather than having a fact based debate, all too often the goal is to use existing prejudices to discount the person or persons with whom they disagree.
 
Such a situation occurred in Norman, Oklahoma this week when some members of the girls basketball team “took the knee” during the playing of the National Anthem.  In recent years this has been a way for some to  attempt to communicate that systematic racism continues to leave most people of color not experiencing being considered full citizens of the United States.  Sadly, one of the announcers for the game was overhead using racist language including the N word to criticize the action of the girls who took the knee.  Many others have disagreed with the practice of taking the knee during the National Anthem without resorting to racism or racist language.  Those attending the games overwhelmingly condemned the racist attack and supported the right of the young women to protest racism by taking a knee. I and many others were very grateful to the people of Norman  Oklahoma for overwhelmingly acknowledging and condemning racism. 
 
There may still be many who think that the protest of racism should be separate from their loyalty to the symbolism of the National Anthem, but they did not demand that the young women agree with them.   Hats off to the students and all the adults in that community who were able to see that the issue was racism and not disloyalty to the National Anthem of the United States.  Personally, I think the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem only have meaning if and when we are serious, as a nation, about ending racism and all forms of oppression; making a serious commitment to being a nation where equality and equity for all are manifest reality.  Clearly, the people of Norman, Oklahoma think that ending racism needs to be a priority.  
 
My use of labels, including the labels of conservative, liberal and progressive, to paint a group of people or even one person is not helpful.    I am guilty of using such broad brushes to paint individuals and groups.  When I do it is never productive.  Debating particular approaches to living together is a duty of all of us.   My understanding of debate means a willingness and commitment to  listening with an open mind to the opinion of others.   Discounting the sacredness of others has no place in a civilized community.
 
Written March 14, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

Race and other social constructs​

This morning I was listening to a conversation on Vox Conversations between Vox’s Sean Illing and the author of The Sum of Us, Heather McGhee about the cost of racism in America. I urge the reader of this big to listen to that conversation and to read Ms. McGhee’s book.  The conversation stimulated a lot of thought and questions, most of which I will not address in this blog.   I want to focus on one issue which Sean mentioned.  The issue or the question concerns what to say when someone says that the fact that they got an education and jumped through many professional hoops should mean they deserve much more than the person working at a job which does not require as much formal education or other preparation.  This response usually is made in response to a suggestion that the minimum, wage should be raised to at least $15.00 an hour.

To the person who has worked hard to get an education and jumped through professional hoops it may feel unfair if they do not make significantly more than the person for whom training and education was minimal.  This sense of unfairness is based on some long held beliefs some of which are false.  These include:

•     Everyone has the same opportunity to get an education.
•     Opportunity is not limited by cultural factors such as race, talents or ability with which one may be born, family support, or other encouragement or responsibilities.
•     The person arguing again the minimum wage may be paying off huge school loans and, perhaps has a spendable income at present which is not much above the proposed minimal wage.
•     The person who has an education and jumps through professional hoops has to make up for the income loss while in school and training. 

How does one respond to these arguments or feeling?

•     Many factors determine who is able to get an education or get a well-paid position without an education including physical ability, child care responsibilities, health, quality of early education in grades 1-12, talents, and the demands of economy in particular areas and time periods..
•     Racism, family economics, innate ability, luck of having or not having a mentor, family expectations and responsibilities all play a role in who gets a formal education beyond high school.
•     Some of us choose professions which we know will not pay a great deal above some proposed minimum wages. Social workers, counselors, teachers, and some clergy know that they are choosing a profession which may not every pay significantly more than a minimum wage although most get at least slightly above that amount.
•     It is also true that many individuals are paying off huge school loans and which accumulate significant interest.  Some will quickly make enough money to pay off loans and to live above the medium income.  Many will not. In other countries the cost of school is considered a public investment.
•     It is true that some spend many years in school, residencies and internships.  Fortunately, many of these positions are now well paid; above the average proposed minimum wage.

It is also true:

•     At $15.00 an hour, post taxes, Medicare and other deductions the average take home check a month is slightly over $2000.00.  Unless one is living in a communal situation and sharing expenses it is difficult, at best, to do more than scrape by month to month.   One unusual expense will quickly destroy the budget. 
•     If one cannot afford the basics to stay healthy one cannot continue to work.  If one is ill and unable to work then one is not only unable to pay taxes and put money into the economy but must use some other public resources and/or be considered a walking dead drain on the economy and/or what many consider a throw away person.   No one wins.

It is important to have an income large enough to cover the basic bills including healthcare. Emergencies and some luxuries.  Anything larger than that does not keep one warm at night, bring one chicken soup when sick, or provide comfort when grieving or celebrating. Anything more than that might bring temporary pleasure from the things one purchases, or temporarily inflate one’s ego, but in the end life is 10 minutes long and we most need the comfort of each other.

Race, income disparity and other issues are not only social constructs but social and political ploys to keep us divided and, thus, to prevent us from joining together to build a society with works well for all of us; to prevent community.

Written March 12, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 

​Any second
With the stroke of a pen

14 becomes 18 or 21

A judge or grand jury decides a child who cannot
make the simplest choices

about school, sexual behavior, or how to live his or her own life is an adult.

Yes, recklessly driving a car, being chased and causing an accident may result in a tragic

death.
A moment of passion with a gun

ends forever the lives of one’s parents or someone else.
Another decade for the brain to mature

Yet, with the stoke of a pen we will sentence a boy or girl to a lifetime of prison.
We call it justice and for a moment perhaps those grieving feel better.

At what cost this momentary pretense of justice?

What cost to lose the potential of this person?

What cost financially to incarcerate someone for many decades?

What cost to indulge ourselves in the delusion that this could not be our child?

If 14 can become the age of consent please allow the 14 year old to:

            make their own decision to quit school
            obtain a driver’s license
            have sex with whom they choose.
            drink alcohol
Justice?

What difference from my thoughtless behavior which nearly resulted in the death of someone?

What difference from my split second miss?

The absence of a functioning gun?

The kitchen knives all sent out for sharpening.

We would like to think we would never ever.

That somehow we are different.

            Kinder

            Calmer

            Always rational

            Always part of the solution and never part of the problem.

The truth is we could have been labeled adults at 14.

Our son or daughter could be declared instant adults.

The remaining decades of lives given for the illusion of justice

We could

any second now.

Any second.

The word de jour

The word de jour is agency.

Euphemisms are a sort of mask

It seems as if we are particularly fond of masks these days.

Masks not only to protect I and thou from covid-19.

Masks to protect us from knowing we have more than our share.

            Food challenged = hungry

            Housing challenged = homeless

            Income challenged = poverty

            Welfare = assistance  = physically or emotionally ill

We have the agency to be poor?

The agency to make choices?

The agency to not choose mental illness, addiction, hopelessness?

The agency to seek hope when it has all been stolen.

Can one choose the agency to be food challenged?

To be homeless?

Perhaps agency is a blue light special at K Mart
Perhaps agency is  stocked near the cash register at the local convenient store

We righteously give to the less fortunate

We do not want to know that we know that we are one paycheck from

            hunger
            homelessness
            property
            desperation
            illness

We do not want to hear

Black Lives Matter demands agency.

Me Too Movement demands agency.

Immigrants fleeing financial, social and political violence demand agency.

Without masks we are in danger of not only covid 19

But the disease of knowing.

The real disease is the discomfort

of knowing.

Of knowing that we know.

Of hoping we do not see beneath the mask of euphemisms. 

We do not want to know that agency equals freedom.

That freedom is claimed and not often given

to other than the chosen few.


Written March 9, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​Sunday Musings – March 7, 2021

The beauty and the beast
 
I am living in Tulsa, Oklahoma where there are many examples of amazing structures, some designed and used as houses of worship.  The Boston Avenue Methodist Church, The Tulsa Fire Alarm Building, The Tulsa Club, Philcade- an office building  -and a host of others give evidence to the ability of us humans to create beauty, sadly often made possible by the wealth created at the expense of expendable workers.   In Tulsa much of the wealth was created with revenue from oil on land often stolen from Native Americans.   For example, generations ago, the American Indian Osage tribe was compelled to move. Not for the first time, white settlers pushed them off their land in the 1800s. They made their new home in a rocky, infertile area in northeast Oklahoma in hopes that settlers would finally leave them alone. (NPR.org - April 17, 2017
 
In New York city railroad tycoon Cornelius Vanderbilt created one of the most beautiful railroad terminals in the United States.  In Pittsburgh and across the country Andrew Carnegie is best known  for the libraries named in his honor as well as the famed Carnegie Museum.   Henry Phipps’ money established the first mental health center in Baltimore and the beautiful Phipps Conservatory in Pittsburgh which is a leader in exploring environmentally friendly buildings and operations.   Henry Ford to whom we are, in many respects indebted, sponsored an anti-Jewish newspaper and is alleged to have earned the right to have his photo adorn the office of Hitler.   
 
From the stories of the lives lost to build pyramids to early Romans and other rulers who lavish lives were supported by so called loyal subjects to those who instituted and make manifest the caste systems in many countries, including in the United States, as detailed in Isabel Wilkinson’s book Caste, we humans  create beauty; often to hide the ugliness hidden in the secret passages; secret passages housing the lies covering the justifications for the current and historic one percent; the same justifications used today to keep the masses  in their place.  These practices are responsible for the success of many including the Jeff Bezos’s who are fighting the unionization of Amazon workers as well as the pharmaceutical companies who hire the beautiful young people to peddle their wares using a host of lies and near lies paying the “reps” just enough  more than the average to temporarily seduce them.
 
Recently I was reading a novel by Sawyer Bennett (Discoveries of Secrets and Fate) in which the chief character can see beneath the costume of humanness to the underlying creature from another place - some kind and some dark and evil.   I was reminded of the joy I take in the beauty of amazing Architectural creations while, at the same time,  feeling an internal sense of dread and grief because I know in the basement one can hear the cries of the workers who were expendable.
 
I love Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Water house created by wealth as a vacation house for the Kaufman’s of Pittsburgh.  
 
There is, of course, uncomplicated beauty with which Mother Nature surrounds us. There is the beauty of love when two or more people practice equality and equity.  There is the beauty of the operation of the human body when we attend to what it needs and not what the latest profit induced advertisement suggests.
 
There is beauty in the carvings of the fish hooks, the canes, and the totem poles, or the  beaded creations of many so called primitive people or Natives.   Whether for ceremonies or for everyday use these creations were designed to be enjoyed as well as used.  No one was expected to sacrifice their well-being for the benefit of beauty; not even Mother Nature.
 
I have many pieces of art adorning my walls, none of which was created at the expense  of another.
 
Us humans are creatures of insecurities and contradictions.  We do all we can to earn what we already possess; to be more than we are so that we can be acceptable as we are.  Yet all wise teachers know that all we have to do is to care for each other; to consider the lilies of the field; to consider the art which is created just because we can and which is not at the expense of anyone’s health or happiness.
 
Always I am reminded of the first rule of growth; to accept the reality of my contradictions while re-examining whether I have the courage to look into my basement.
 
Written March 7, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

Welcome

We are a nation of indigenous people and immigrants.  We are a nation which is home to many individuals whose spiritual framework is sometimes religious and sometimes secular.  We are a nation which includes those who do not identify as spiritual. We are a nation whose religious framework is many forms of Christianity, Muslim, Hindu, Jew, ancestral sprits and a host of others.  We are a community of people.  We are a community which now purports to acknowledge that “all people” includes people of all hues and colors,  genders including non-binary, ages, races, cultural backgrounds, religions, spiritual frameworks, and sexual orientations including those who identify as asexual.    We are an never ending rainbow in soft pastels, heavy oils,  bold colors, and rich mixtures which flows or playfully skips along the rainbow.

I have recently moved to a city which has a rich history of indigenous Native Americans, those who identify as African American or black, many from Mexico and other American countries, as well as a rich mixture of those from every part of the planet   Some of its history, such as the 1921 Tulsa race massacre in the Greenwood District, carries many layers of shame.  When I attended high school here in the 1950ies it was difficult to tell whether the Native Americans or the Blacks were more shunned.  A close third were members of the LGBT community.   In more recent years Tulsa has been outed as the home of the Tulsa race massacre forcing or empowering them to do what in a 12 step community would be called a process of recovery beginning with the 4th step which is “We made a searching and fearless moral inventory.”   The recently dedicated Reconciliation Park is just one of the symbols of this laudatory process.   The Gathering Place which has a focus on inclusivity leading to not only equality but equity is another laudatory and impressive attempt of this process.

Sitting in one of the rooms of the Boathouse at the  Gathering Place one will hear recordings of people (citizens of Tulsa?) talking about what love and harmony means to them.  It seems that many of those recorded use Christian scripture as a reference point.  I did not stay for hours and I will return to listen some more. Perhaps I will hear those coming from a Jewish, Muslim, Hindu,  or Native American perspective. 

A professional organization to which I now belong in Oklahoma sent me an email with links to power points and handouts from their mid-winter on-line conference.   Several of them had titles with references to Christian scriptures.  One referenced the Lord’s Prayer.   This is from an Association for those licensed counselors who are required to now show cultural diversity competence; proving they are making a concerted effort to be welcoming and inclusive in all that they do in their professional and overall public life.  

It happens that I myself have a background which includes a Christian framework.  In fact, my first master’s degree is a Master of Divinity from a Christian theological seminary.  I can certainly relate to a Christian framework. Yet, I can also relate to a host of other frameworks.    Christianity is but one framework or vessel.   I am, of course, well aware that many people of many different religious frameworks claim that their tradition or framework represents the one true or right religion.  I can certainly honor those beliefs without subscribing to them. My behavior and my office needs to “walk the talk” of inclusivity. 

If the city of Tulsa truly wants to be experienced as inclusive all that is done by city officials and  in city spades needs to be experienced as inclusive.  Presenting as Christian is not inclusive.  Professional organizations must, likewise, walk the talk of inclusivity in all that they do.  It some want to present themselves as a Christian, Muslim or Buddhist or other religious counselor they can and should do that, but they have no place in organizations that purport to be inclusive.

As I recently wrote,  pealing black the layers of oppression and bias is an ongoing process for all of us.  Oppression and discrimination is systemic.  If we truly want Tulsans and all Oklahomans to include all people; if we truly want to make amends for our oppressive past, we must systematically identify and change the ways we exclude each other.

Written March 5, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett, LPC, AADC – WV; LPC – Oklahoma
coachpickett.org
pickettjf@gmail.com

Jimmy Pickett’s blog is published several times a week on his website and on his Facebook pages

The “right” decisions?

I am fascinated with the fact that it is important to so many of us that we think we have the correct answer, fact or solution.    We know, of course, that irrespective of the world wide web all of us have limited access to information which is guaranteed to be accurate.   Every minute of every day we are finding out that some “fact” was, in fact, not a fact at all.  We also know that our perception is influenced by many factors and our memory is very selective.  I can, with certainty, say: “My memory is that such and such happened.” or I can say, “I feel certain that I saw X which may or may not have been X.”   I can also assert that “According to a recent National Geographic article such and such is true.”  I can say that at this very moment, my reality is that the sun is shining and I experience the sky as blue.”  Of course, we know the sky is not really blue.  I can also say:  “I am reasonably certain that I am not dreaming or hallucinating and, in fact, I am standing at the counter in my condo on the 16th floor typing at 9:52 a.m., Central standard time, in Tulsa, Oklahoma on March 3, 2021.  I am typing on what is labeled a MacBook Air.   I am reasonably certain that it is in fact an Apple product and not a counterfeit.”

As any of my friends, colleagues or readers of this blog will tell you I have some very definite opinions on a wide variety of subjects.  Many people I personally know hold very different opinions.  Fortunately, I hold limited positions of power which permit me to make decision which affect the lives of others. For that I am grateful.  I do not envy those who may made recommendation or issue state-wide orders about when and to what extent to allow businesses to fully reopen.  Some politicians are making what seems like politically expedient decisions on this matter and some are deferring to medical authorities.   It may or may not be easy to determine who made the best decisions for the medical health of individuals and the financial health of the community until in a week or a month one can tally up the number of new cases and new deaths.

I do make educated guesses about the mental diagnosis of individuals and may even make recommendations for a course or treatments.  My intention is to make it clear that the best I can do is to make an educated guess based on past case histories and research reports.   

When it comes to beliefs about religion, sexual behavior between consenting adults, allowing the teenage children to attend X event, how long one can safely wait to put on a new roof, whether being a vegan is the only moral choice, whether to take a morning after pill, or a host of other decisions I may or may not have an opinion.  I certainly cannot claim to know the one right answer. 

I empathize with the fear of making a decision which will have adverse effects on x person or persons. I also empathize with the fear that if one is wrong about X one may be wrong about many other issues.  It would be the be easy to become paralyzed and refuse to make any decisions which could have very negative  consequences.

I love the Quaker method of making all major decisions by consensus.  No decisions is made until all agree.  I am not sure how this work in Quaker marriages. Perhaps someone has researched this issue.   My understanding is that discernment - searching for truth, remaining open to the Light beyond the self.” is important in their individual and community lives. (pym.org/faith).  Ideally, this means that one begins discernment with an open mind and knowing that one does not know.  Easier said than done especially in a busy community or in institutions such as Quaker universities.  My experience is that even with Quakers the need to be right can surreptitiously sneak in.

It seems that us humans are stuck attempting to balance the need to act with the acceptance and humility of knowing we are merely making educated guesses most of the time. The more we share the responsibility of making those decisions the easier it is to move on when a decision has more negative than positive consequences.

Written March 3, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
C oachpickett.org

Peeling back the expectations of a white male

Often our jobs as citizens is to educate our elected and appointed representatives. My experience is that, at best, if I communicate with them via letter or email I  can expect to receive a form letter response indicating merely that my communication was received.  Very often, however, I receive no response at all.  Occasionally, if I follow up with a phone call I am able to set up a meeting with a staff person in the office and occasionally with the elected or appointed representative.  

All elected and appointed representatives at all levels of the body politic receive many  requests. They give their attention and the power of their office to addressing a variety of issues, most of which deserve serious attention.   These requests arrive from private citizens, representatives of mayors, governors and the president, CEOs of mayor companies,  professional lobbyists, and representative of many other special interest groups.   Deciding which ones deserve their attention depends, I am sure, on many factors,   Certainly, one of the factors is the  “price” one might pay for ignoring the concern or request.  One of the prices or rewards for elected representatives is votes. If one is the only person concerned about an issue and one does not represent a group of people who are likely to affect the career of a person, one’s issues are not likely to get much time or attention. 

Some of us are in the habit of expecting others to recognize that even if we do not represent an  “important” organization or person we and our requests are important.   One may, for example, come to believe that one’s white, male privilege will always be recognized and honored.  We may have been routinely rewarded with more attention than those who are not while males or who do not appear to be white males.  We may or may not have consciously allowed ourselves to know this to be the case.

If people do not see me in person many assume that I am not a while male or, at best, I am a faux white male.  Often, it seems that the concerns which I address do not seem to promote the interests of the status quo.  I am considered a person who makes waves about issues which may only be of concern to a segment of the community whose needs are of no concern except possibly at election time.  Perhaps not even then.  Knowing this I can still “fall” into the trap of expecting my male white privilege to be honored.  Perhaps I should sign all correspondence “white male” although that might only be appreciated by the radical right and only then if my opinion or concern corresponded to theirs which is unlikely.

Since the early 1960es I have consciously been attempting to peel back the layers of white male privilege which I have internalized. Yet, it seems I have only begun. My earliest memory of recognizing and being ashamed of my racism dates back to 1945.   My attempt to peel back my male privilege sadly did not consciously begin until the 1970es.  From an early age, I do recall that something seemed  “off” when males had more privilege that the women in our families who often seemed wiser, more compassionate and more spiritual. I also sensed that relationships which demonstrated both equity and equality such as the one Aunt Pleasie and Uncle Harold shared were not only attractive but highly desirable.

As is almost always the case, I began this blog with an agenda which had little to do with white, male privilege.  Yet, the muse or the part of me who knows he knows quickly took over. I have no expectation that I will live long enough to peel back to the core but it seems that my muse will insist that I continue the slow, often uncomfortable process.

Written March 1, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings – February 28, 2021
The truth shall set you free
 
We live in an age with greater access to communication than has ever been possible. Yet, with all this access to information, facts or truth is more elusive than ever.  Perhaps that is not correct.  Perhaps finding facts is like finding the proverbial needle in the haystack.  With so many options to choose from – so many spins on the same facts and so many versions of the fact – knowing what sources to trust is difficult for most of us.
 
Obviously there are some actual facts.  A multi-page bill was sent from the United States House to the United States Senate.  The United States did bomb some targets in Syria.  The stock market is, for now, strong.  Fewer people are dying of covid-19 and it’s variants.  More people in some nations are getting covid-19 vaccines. Many are still refusing to get the vaccines.  Locally, a 14 year old was driving a car, the police gave chase to the car which then crashed killing two people in another vehicle, and the 14 year old  is charged with murder.
 
Today is Sunday in the United States.  There is no shortage of representatives from various religions who will be happy to name the one true god and, thus, the religious practices which will please that god.
 
There is no shortages of goods and services which – for the right price – will guarantee one more happiness, finding the perfect partner or establishing one as one at the top end of the caste system in the United States.  One can – if rich enough  - purchase  a car costing between $30,000.00 and $400,000.00, a multi-million dollar house (There are several for sale here in Tulsa, Oklahoma.) the most secure security system, the best handgun, the more effective sexual enhancing drugs, or the costume which will declare “ one’s arrival”.
 
It is a fact that humans, many plants and other animals have a limited life span even though it has increased until 2020 in many places on this planet.  It is true that neither equity or equality are available regardless of race, caste membership, age, gender, sexual orientation, gender identification, or income.  It is true that us humans have a long history of “throw away” people and that the United States may have perfected the delusional system of convincing ourselves that we do this less than other nations when in fact we have only perfected delusion.  We have long been a leader in violence – domestic, economic, social, judicial, political, international, and cultural violence. It is also true that we in the United States may be one, if not the leader, in deluding ourselves in believing one can evolve without the fear of risking “poverty, embarrassment and discomfort”. (Cord Jefferson in an Vox conversation with Soraya Nadia named the necessity of risking these three conditions if one want to accomplish goals.)
 
If “the truth will set one free” it is perhaps the truth that if we are going to move in the direction of being the best we can be we must get over ourselves.  We are going to fail.  All successful people fail.  We are going to be ridiculed.  We are going to risk losing money, jobs, houses and even relationships.   If “the truth will set one free” it is true that we cannot mistreat one person (no throw away people); that freedom for one can only be achieved if there is freedom for all; that freedom from is not enough; that freedom to is important; that we are not fragile emotionally; that money will not save us; that security cameras will not save us; that we are all less than a step away from being one of the throw away people.   Character is not about finances, lack of humility, being right, the right god, or being better than.  It is not about the most effective sexual enhancing drug, the best plastic surgeon who specializes in nips and tucks, the largest house, or the most expensive vehicle.  It is not even about the most organic food, a $5.00 coffee or other energy drink.  It is about showing up and risking poverty, embarrassment and humility. It is about being the one who carries a blanket to the emperor who thinks he or she is dressed in their finest but is naked.
 
Written February 28, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
  

​God - Community
 
The February 22, 2021 episode of the podcast Hidden Brain with host  Shankar Vedantam is entitled “Creating God”.  His guest is social psychologist Azim Shariff who “argues that we should consider religion from a Darwinian perspective, as an innovation that helped human societies to grow and flourish.”  As communities grew not everyone had the same investment in the overall health of each of its members and thus, might violate the rights of an individual or do something which was not in the best interest of the community.   Particular religions were created or envisioned within the limits of the needs of the community and scientific knowledge.  Thus, when one needed many children to till the fields, hunt or otherwise maintain the community; when mortality rate of infants and mothers was much different; when microscopes had yet to be invented to counter the belief that there were a limited number of sperm, many  religious rules about restricting sexual behavior made sense. Part of the nature of religion, however, is that once a rule or behavior no longer makes cultural or scientific sense,  one cannot sit down the god of one’s understanding and ask him, her or it change the rule.  
 
Dr. Shariff would argue that punishment or the fear of punishment – often for eternity – was an effective evolutionary tool for maximizing order in a growing community.  Even the threat of the unhappiness of the God of one’s understanding was often enough.
 
Many people continue to believe in a punishing and rewarding god.  Many others no longer believe in such a traditional god.   Some envision the god of their understanding as the whole of a planet, universe or even the universes.  They might maintain that each part of the whole is necessary but not sufficient to keep the whole functioning with maximum potential and efficiency.  The result of not respecting this fact is the breakdown of the whole. One may not think of this is punishment, but consequences.   The question of how the whole came to exist  as an interdependent group of parts may not be addressed by those who posit such a god.
 
 
As knowledge continues to evolve many find it difficult to feel a part of a religious community or to approach the creation of a god from the vantage point of what is best for the community for next 1000 or 100,000 years.   Many no longer find it tenable to believe in an afterlife where eternal punishment might await someone.  Many point to the scientific knowledge which is now available to determine our sexual mores or other behavior.  At the same time there is by many a greater appreciation for the six degrees of separation rule and, thus, the ripple effect of each action or inaction.  There might also be a greater understanding of the psychological effect of separating oneself from the whole by deliberately ignoring the needs and rights of another. 
 
There is an argument to be made for the belief that when we, as a species, give up heaven and hell we may become only focused on what makes one feel good for the moment; on short term gratification; on filling  or numbing that internal void which leaves one feeling  disconnected.  I happen to believe humans are basically kind and pragmatic.   Most of us know we need each other even if we no long need a god who threatens eternal punishment or promises eternal salvation if we obey all the rules. 
Sadly, we have found it difficult to hold on to the most important aspect of church – to be a community who  welcome each to this life journey, bid each other goodbye and care for each other during those two points. I was reminded while attending a conference this week entitled “Engagement in the Black Community” of the importance of “church” for the black community – church where it is safe to weep, wail and be joyful; church where it is safe to have secret communication via spirituals; church where it was safe to be.  The challenge for the black churches as well as other churches is to expand that community to include those who now feel excluded; to remember that god is a creation of we humans; to remember that the rules attributed to the god of one’s understanding have to expand to embrace new scientific and social knowledge.  Sadly, few churches have found a way to do that well.   If one attends a black church today one will still experience the “spirit” which will move one to dance, weep, laugh and sing.  One will experience community regardless of the religious rules.   Yet, some know that even there they cannot be fully themselves. That is the challenge. We all need that sense of community. The alternative is to numb oneself with alcohol, drugs, money, power, food or some other substance, object or condition.  Are we up to the challenge of allowing the god of our understanding to be fully present and embracing to who we know ourselves to be capable of being regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender, age, cultural background or historic status of oppressor or the oppressed?
 
Written February 27, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org