Clarifying pedophilia and abusive sexual behavior
A great number of individuals believe that all sexual abuse, but especially that of a young person by an older person is pedophilia. The diagnostic manual of the American Psychological Association states that the following criteria must be met prior to being classified as a pedophile or diagnosed with a pedophilic disorder.
A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally ages 13 or younger).
B. The individual has acted on these sexual urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty.
C. The individual is at least 16 years and at least 5 years older that the child or children in Criterion A.
As soon as someone labels someone as a pedophile many individuals fear for the safely of their prepubescent child or children. If a person is a true pedophile one should be concerned about leaving their prepubescent child alone with or within easy access to that person. This is not a reason to judge the individual. No one decides to have such sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors for a prepubescent child. Fortunately, relatively few people do.
Many individuals who are not pedophiles have sexual fantasies, urges or behavior involving sexual activity with someone much younger - even a teenager. Sexual activity with a post-pubescent teenager by someone who is at least 5 years older may or may not be abusive. Depending on the country and/or the state in which one has sexual activity, an older person is legally allowed or forbidden sex activity with a post-pubescent teenager. In some countries, someone as young as 12 may be legally married to an older person. A 12-year-old may be pre-or post pubescent.
Using one’s position of power to force someone to engage in sexual activity – no matter what the age – is abusive behavior. In some countries and in some states in the United States such behavior is considered sexual harassment or abuse. Depending on the country and/or the state a person who is convicted of abusive behavior might be labeled a sexual offender and have to register as such for a set number of years or for life.
The actor Kevin Spacey is accused of initiating sexual activity as an adult with others including a 14-year old boy. There is no indication that the 14-year old was prepubescent. Assuming he was not the behavior might have been abusive, but does not earn Mr. Spacey the title of pedophile. If, as alleged, Mr. Spacey initiated unwanted sexual activity or used a position of power to demand sexual activity with that boy or others, the behavior was abusive and might be labeled as harassment.
We live in a culture which celebrates and some might say worships youthful appearance. Sadly, we also live in a culture where a much younger partner might be considered a trophy partner. I personally think that is very unhealthy and can easily lead to treating a person as a non-person or an object. That is not behavior which I would consider moral or ethical. I also think that there are individuals who use their appearance and/or their youth as a means to get something they want. They may sexually attempt to seduce someone in a position of power or authority. This can be very difficult to resist.
There are at least five issues with we desperately need to address regarding sexual activity in our culture. They are:
Written November 6, 2017
A great number of individuals believe that all sexual abuse, but especially that of a young person by an older person is pedophilia. The diagnostic manual of the American Psychological Association states that the following criteria must be met prior to being classified as a pedophile or diagnosed with a pedophilic disorder.
A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally ages 13 or younger).
B. The individual has acted on these sexual urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty.
C. The individual is at least 16 years and at least 5 years older that the child or children in Criterion A.
As soon as someone labels someone as a pedophile many individuals fear for the safely of their prepubescent child or children. If a person is a true pedophile one should be concerned about leaving their prepubescent child alone with or within easy access to that person. This is not a reason to judge the individual. No one decides to have such sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors for a prepubescent child. Fortunately, relatively few people do.
Many individuals who are not pedophiles have sexual fantasies, urges or behavior involving sexual activity with someone much younger - even a teenager. Sexual activity with a post-pubescent teenager by someone who is at least 5 years older may or may not be abusive. Depending on the country and/or the state in which one has sexual activity, an older person is legally allowed or forbidden sex activity with a post-pubescent teenager. In some countries, someone as young as 12 may be legally married to an older person. A 12-year-old may be pre-or post pubescent.
Using one’s position of power to force someone to engage in sexual activity – no matter what the age – is abusive behavior. In some countries and in some states in the United States such behavior is considered sexual harassment or abuse. Depending on the country and/or the state a person who is convicted of abusive behavior might be labeled a sexual offender and have to register as such for a set number of years or for life.
The actor Kevin Spacey is accused of initiating sexual activity as an adult with others including a 14-year old boy. There is no indication that the 14-year old was prepubescent. Assuming he was not the behavior might have been abusive, but does not earn Mr. Spacey the title of pedophile. If, as alleged, Mr. Spacey initiated unwanted sexual activity or used a position of power to demand sexual activity with that boy or others, the behavior was abusive and might be labeled as harassment.
We live in a culture which celebrates and some might say worships youthful appearance. Sadly, we also live in a culture where a much younger partner might be considered a trophy partner. I personally think that is very unhealthy and can easily lead to treating a person as a non-person or an object. That is not behavior which I would consider moral or ethical. I also think that there are individuals who use their appearance and/or their youth as a means to get something they want. They may sexually attempt to seduce someone in a position of power or authority. This can be very difficult to resist.
There are at least five issues with we desperately need to address regarding sexual activity in our culture. They are:
- Correctly diagnosing pedophilia and providing professional treatment for those who live with this disorder.
- As a culture taking responsibility for our celebration of youth and our use of sexual allure or innuendo to sell a variety of merchandise.
- Deciding how we as a society want to deal with the very powerful sexual feelings/urges of post pubescent youth during the long period of time between the onset of post pubescent sexuality and adult responsibilities.
- Deciding what behavior needs to be criminalized and what behavior needs to be dealt with in other ways.
- The fact that so many in our culture seem to take such pleasure in the labeling and punishment of others. Often many seem to act as if they are incapable to harming another when later it will be revealed that they too have caused harm to others.
- Disparity of rules and laws to protect individuals who are sexually harassed or abused.
- Lingering homophobia which causes some who are approached by someone of the same sex to be traumatized.
Written November 6, 2017
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