Confident humility
Other than blogs, clinical notes, papers in graduate schools and clinical notes I have no recognition as a published author. When I join a writer’s group which is mainly composed of those who are “real” published authors of “books” I feel calling myself a writer is a misnomer; that I am a fraud. I have long often felt as if I am an imposter. When I was in school to get a Master of Divinity I kept waiting to be identified as an imposter. I was “not like the others bright, scholarly, religious people who “knew” the Bible and were “sure” that they knew the one true God and were doing His will.
If lucky, many of us, as we mature, have a strong sense of our talents and skills. Of course, as we age, we may have to reassess some of them. We also know, if we are honest, we have more questions than answers. No matter how knowledgeable one is there are always the unknowns which one can miss when designing a project or a plan of action. Whether designing a multi-story office building, planning a surgery, writing a book, or preparing for a performance with a symphony, there are many factors which can derail the outcome.
Recently I was listening to a Fresh Air interview of Dave Davies with tennis star Billie Jean King. During the interview Ms. King talks about the fact that no matter how skilled one is one can have a day when one’s game is off (my words). Recently during the Olympics one of the athletes had to take a break because of mental health issues. Famous, highly skilled string instrument artists have had strings break in the middle of a concert despite having just replaced them. In the counseling field I have often had to rely on a “feeling” that despite the seeming facts which the symptoms were broadcasting something else I could not identify was going on.
One of the many qualities I admire about Ms. King is the fact that her confidence to pursue her career and the many projects she has undertaken is mixed with a huge dose of humility. I think of humility as acceptance that : (1) luck or Grace plays a huge role in how one functions on a particular day, (2) one must work to sharpen those talents, and (3) one’s basic talents may be innate. It is true that Ms. King spent untold hours listening to a coach and practicing. Yet, many individuals have done those things only to have an accident or some event steal their potential career. I cannot assume that later today my brain will be free of dementia, a brain tumor or some other “disease” ending my ability to work as a counselor, to write or even to live independently. At the same time, I know if I want to work as a counselor I need to continue to search for new information about the many factors which can affect emotional/mental health. If I want to be a writer I must not only keep writing but I must have the courage to share my writings and be open to the critique of both my technical ability and the content of the voice I am sharing. I can never assume I have arrived as a writer or a counselor. I have no idea if I will be a writer today. I have no idea if will be able to be helpful to some client who is experiencing emotional or mental distress today. While it is true I am trained as a counselor and I have practiced and studied as a writer, to call myself today is not accurate. Perhaps the heart and mind will talk to each other and I will “hear” what a client is saying. Perhaps I will set pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and words might appear. Perhaps not!
Today I am grateful to know we are all, at some level, imposters. Today we can use the skills and talents we have sharpened to humbly do our best - just for today.
Written August 18, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Other than blogs, clinical notes, papers in graduate schools and clinical notes I have no recognition as a published author. When I join a writer’s group which is mainly composed of those who are “real” published authors of “books” I feel calling myself a writer is a misnomer; that I am a fraud. I have long often felt as if I am an imposter. When I was in school to get a Master of Divinity I kept waiting to be identified as an imposter. I was “not like the others bright, scholarly, religious people who “knew” the Bible and were “sure” that they knew the one true God and were doing His will.
If lucky, many of us, as we mature, have a strong sense of our talents and skills. Of course, as we age, we may have to reassess some of them. We also know, if we are honest, we have more questions than answers. No matter how knowledgeable one is there are always the unknowns which one can miss when designing a project or a plan of action. Whether designing a multi-story office building, planning a surgery, writing a book, or preparing for a performance with a symphony, there are many factors which can derail the outcome.
Recently I was listening to a Fresh Air interview of Dave Davies with tennis star Billie Jean King. During the interview Ms. King talks about the fact that no matter how skilled one is one can have a day when one’s game is off (my words). Recently during the Olympics one of the athletes had to take a break because of mental health issues. Famous, highly skilled string instrument artists have had strings break in the middle of a concert despite having just replaced them. In the counseling field I have often had to rely on a “feeling” that despite the seeming facts which the symptoms were broadcasting something else I could not identify was going on.
One of the many qualities I admire about Ms. King is the fact that her confidence to pursue her career and the many projects she has undertaken is mixed with a huge dose of humility. I think of humility as acceptance that : (1) luck or Grace plays a huge role in how one functions on a particular day, (2) one must work to sharpen those talents, and (3) one’s basic talents may be innate. It is true that Ms. King spent untold hours listening to a coach and practicing. Yet, many individuals have done those things only to have an accident or some event steal their potential career. I cannot assume that later today my brain will be free of dementia, a brain tumor or some other “disease” ending my ability to work as a counselor, to write or even to live independently. At the same time, I know if I want to work as a counselor I need to continue to search for new information about the many factors which can affect emotional/mental health. If I want to be a writer I must not only keep writing but I must have the courage to share my writings and be open to the critique of both my technical ability and the content of the voice I am sharing. I can never assume I have arrived as a writer or a counselor. I have no idea if I will be a writer today. I have no idea if will be able to be helpful to some client who is experiencing emotional or mental distress today. While it is true I am trained as a counselor and I have practiced and studied as a writer, to call myself today is not accurate. Perhaps the heart and mind will talk to each other and I will “hear” what a client is saying. Perhaps I will set pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and words might appear. Perhaps not!
Today I am grateful to know we are all, at some level, imposters. Today we can use the skills and talents we have sharpened to humbly do our best - just for today.
Written August 18, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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