Creating change
The subject of racism is in the air in the United States. The reality of racism is in the air on the news, in the photos we view, in the language we use, in the privilege we enjoy, in the separation which diminishes all of us, in every aspect of the life of each of us.
This subject of oppression - of racism, sexism, and homophobia - is never far from the forefront of my thoughts but recently there is an intense awareness as some in our country grapple with the reality that the death of George Floyd is only a grain of sand in the desert which has been created by our long refusal to deal with it for more than a brief moment.
A friend and I recently had the beginning of a conversation about my experience. I explained that it is impossible to grow up in this country (and many others) and not be racist. I shared with him my experiences of clearly knowing at age 5 how to use racism in an attempt to blame a playmate for something I had done. I also shared with him my experience of being a racial justice committee member for many years and being required to write an essay about how I learned to be racist. Regardless of the background of the members of this committee it was assumed that, in fact, that we had learned racist philosophy, behavior and thinking. The fact that I was often bullied as a child, would be made fun of because we were poor, had to face oppression as a gay man and as a man who had AIDS, and had Native American heritage had not prevented me from enjoying white, male privilege.
I have since come to appreciate that racism is not something from which I can be cured. I can, however, follow the example of those using the 12 step recovery program and work on recovery or healing from my racism. Just as the addict may for the rest of their lives discover new layers of addictive thinking and behavior I will spend the rest of my life discovering the ways in which racism has been woven into the very core of who I am. I must begin my recovery with an acceptance of the fact that I am powerless over my racism. (Step 1 of the 12 step program). It has been bred into the pores of my being since I was very young.
Saturday morning I listened to this week’s podcast of On Being with host Krista Tippett and her guests Resmaa Menakem, Minneapolis-based trauma specialist and a black man who lives the reality of racism, and Robin DiAngelo. author of White Fragility and one who despite growing up being ridiculed for being poor and living with the reality of sexism acknowledged that she has also enjoyed white privilege. I urge the reader of this blog to listen to their conversation which will challenge one to dig deeper into what is required of each of us if we are to make progress in our recovery from racism.
My friend asked me how I learned to be racist. We began a conversation which we will continue. I learned racism and about racism by:
• Observing and listening to the response of family members when we passed a black person.
• Observing the friends of my parents - all white.
• Seeing only white faces in children’s books unless there was a person or animal of color who was presented as “less than” in some way.
• Seeing mostly white faces in the newspapers and magazines, especially on the front page - only in more recent history have most newspapers allowed photos of black people on the front page.
• Observing that photos of “important community leaders” were often overwhelmingly white and male.
• Observing the absence in school of the history of slavery, Jim Crow or how native Americans were treated by while settlers.
• Reading about musicians who could not stay in most hotels or eat in restaurants.
• Being refused service when I entered a restaurant in the Washington, DC, area with a black colleague.
• The absence of any teaching on the language of racism.
• The all while churches I attended.
• The advantages I enjoyed as a result of my whiteness or perceived whiteness.
• Being told directing and indirectly to fear black people, especially black men.
• The language of racism on the playground, in the gym, in workplaces; nearly everywhere I go.
• The denial of racism in our community.
• The “fact” that certain neighborhoods which were destroyed to make room for highways “just happened” to often be a black neighborhood.
• The fact that so many black people are incarcerated.
• The absence of black people in my graduate school classes.
• The fact that I seldom have the option of referring someone to a black counselor/therapist.
• The fact that research shows when a black person is treated by a black doctor many aspects of their health improves.
The list of how racism was deliberately taught by commission and omission could go on for many more pages.
If we while people have courage and the willingness we will first identify how we teach racism and we will demand that changes be made. We will make amends by making changes. We will not make false promises any more.
Spiritual growth requires daily commitment, concrete levels of honesty, and change made manifest. Wallowing in guilt because we have been taught racism and other oppressive behavior will not change anything. Telling our black friends or colleagues we are sorry will not change anything. Silence will not change anything. Change will manifest
change.
Written July 14, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
The subject of racism is in the air in the United States. The reality of racism is in the air on the news, in the photos we view, in the language we use, in the privilege we enjoy, in the separation which diminishes all of us, in every aspect of the life of each of us.
This subject of oppression - of racism, sexism, and homophobia - is never far from the forefront of my thoughts but recently there is an intense awareness as some in our country grapple with the reality that the death of George Floyd is only a grain of sand in the desert which has been created by our long refusal to deal with it for more than a brief moment.
A friend and I recently had the beginning of a conversation about my experience. I explained that it is impossible to grow up in this country (and many others) and not be racist. I shared with him my experiences of clearly knowing at age 5 how to use racism in an attempt to blame a playmate for something I had done. I also shared with him my experience of being a racial justice committee member for many years and being required to write an essay about how I learned to be racist. Regardless of the background of the members of this committee it was assumed that, in fact, that we had learned racist philosophy, behavior and thinking. The fact that I was often bullied as a child, would be made fun of because we were poor, had to face oppression as a gay man and as a man who had AIDS, and had Native American heritage had not prevented me from enjoying white, male privilege.
I have since come to appreciate that racism is not something from which I can be cured. I can, however, follow the example of those using the 12 step recovery program and work on recovery or healing from my racism. Just as the addict may for the rest of their lives discover new layers of addictive thinking and behavior I will spend the rest of my life discovering the ways in which racism has been woven into the very core of who I am. I must begin my recovery with an acceptance of the fact that I am powerless over my racism. (Step 1 of the 12 step program). It has been bred into the pores of my being since I was very young.
Saturday morning I listened to this week’s podcast of On Being with host Krista Tippett and her guests Resmaa Menakem, Minneapolis-based trauma specialist and a black man who lives the reality of racism, and Robin DiAngelo. author of White Fragility and one who despite growing up being ridiculed for being poor and living with the reality of sexism acknowledged that she has also enjoyed white privilege. I urge the reader of this blog to listen to their conversation which will challenge one to dig deeper into what is required of each of us if we are to make progress in our recovery from racism.
My friend asked me how I learned to be racist. We began a conversation which we will continue. I learned racism and about racism by:
• Observing and listening to the response of family members when we passed a black person.
• Observing the friends of my parents - all white.
• Seeing only white faces in children’s books unless there was a person or animal of color who was presented as “less than” in some way.
• Seeing mostly white faces in the newspapers and magazines, especially on the front page - only in more recent history have most newspapers allowed photos of black people on the front page.
• Observing that photos of “important community leaders” were often overwhelmingly white and male.
• Observing the absence in school of the history of slavery, Jim Crow or how native Americans were treated by while settlers.
• Reading about musicians who could not stay in most hotels or eat in restaurants.
• Being refused service when I entered a restaurant in the Washington, DC, area with a black colleague.
• The absence of any teaching on the language of racism.
• The all while churches I attended.
• The advantages I enjoyed as a result of my whiteness or perceived whiteness.
• Being told directing and indirectly to fear black people, especially black men.
• The language of racism on the playground, in the gym, in workplaces; nearly everywhere I go.
• The denial of racism in our community.
• The “fact” that certain neighborhoods which were destroyed to make room for highways “just happened” to often be a black neighborhood.
• The fact that so many black people are incarcerated.
• The absence of black people in my graduate school classes.
• The fact that I seldom have the option of referring someone to a black counselor/therapist.
• The fact that research shows when a black person is treated by a black doctor many aspects of their health improves.
The list of how racism was deliberately taught by commission and omission could go on for many more pages.
If we while people have courage and the willingness we will first identify how we teach racism and we will demand that changes be made. We will make amends by making changes. We will not make false promises any more.
Spiritual growth requires daily commitment, concrete levels of honesty, and change made manifest. Wallowing in guilt because we have been taught racism and other oppressive behavior will not change anything. Telling our black friends or colleagues we are sorry will not change anything. Silence will not change anything. Change will manifest
change.
Written July 14, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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