Das Kind with dem Bade ausschutten - The baby with the bathwater
Many will recognize this idiom as a reminder that sometimes in our zeal to rid ourselves of something negative we will also throw out something positive. “This idiom derives from a German proverb, das Kind mit dem Bade ausschütten. The earliest record of this phrase is in 1512, in Narrenbeschwörung (Appeal to Fools) by Thomas Murner; and this book includes a woodcut illustration showing a woman tossing a baby out with waste water. It is a common catchphrase in German, with examples of its use in work by Martin Luther, Johannes Kepler, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Otto von Bismarck, Thomas Mann, and Günter Grass.””
….
Some claim the phrase originates from a time when the whole household shared the same bath water.[10] The head of household (Lord) would bathe first, followed by the men, then the Lady and the women, then the children, followed lastly by the baby. The water would be so black from dirt that a baby could be accidentally 'tossed out with the bathwater'.[10] Others state there is no historic evidence that there is any connection with the practice of several family members using the same bath water, the baby being bathed last. (wikepedia)
Fortunately, even though I grew in a household in which the entire family took a bath in the same bathwater in a tin bathtub set up in front of the wood stove in the winter or outside in the summer, I was never thrown out with the bathwater (at least not physically). The youngest child was the last to bathe and, indeed, the bathwater would get a little rich in color by the time the last person bathed. This was especially true in the winter. In the summer, if one had more than one tin tub one could fill them both from the well and heat them in the sun. As I recall (funny, how fuzzy my memory is regarding much of this history) none of we children were thrown out with the bathwater. I do recall some very vigorous scubbing with a brush to insure that the country/farm dirt was all removed leaving only the faintest hint of an actual body! Or so it may have seemed!
This proverb popped into my mind as I was reading The St. Petersburg Tribune on Saturday, October 24th, 2015. There were several news items which caught my attention including the one headed “Border Tunnel leads to 12 tons of marijuana”. According to this report a tunnel measuring 2,400 feet long and 20 feet deep compete with lights, ventilation and a rail system was discovered. The tunnel connected warehouse in San Diego and Tijuana, Mexico. “Authorities recovered 2 tons of marijuana in the U.S. and 10 tons in Mexico.” Wow, I thought, that is impressive. I have thought the same things about the ever thriving drug trade in Afghanistan and the ability of groups of individuals in this war torn country creating ingenious methods to not only improve, at times depending in part on weather conditions, the yield per acre, but the number of acres and, thus, the overall production of the poppy plant. In Guardian.com reports that in 2013, “For the first time over 200,000 hectares of Afghan fields were growing poppies, according to the UN's Afghanistan Opium Survey for 2013, covering an area equivalent to the island nation of Mauritius.”
Now, let me be perfectly clear. I am not in favor of drug addiction which ruins the life of the addict and often the lives of everyone who to live with or deal with the out of control addictive behavior. I am also not in favor of daily use of marijuana or even regular use of it, getting drunk on alcohol or “experimenting with acid, crack heroin or other addictive and potentially dangerous drugs. I am well aware that quite a number of people do manage to use alcohol, marijuana and some other drugs on a recreational basis without getting addicted. In fact, I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner two or three nights a week. I have no desire to get drunk and, in fact, am unable to get drunk. I will get physically ill before I am able to drink enough to even get a buzz. Obviously, I get no credit for this fact. It is just the way my body responds to alcohol.)
Have said that, I am in awe of the business acumen of many of the individuals I know or read about who are “successful” entrepreneurs. I love entrepreneurial spirit and ability of some of the people who start and successfully run a drug business without all the “professional” marketing staff of the pharmaceutical companies or who operate very “successful” business enterprises in jail or other institutions. I recall the first time I was in a foreign country with a more obvious black market than that I had known about in some cities in the United States. I was impressed with the ability of many I met. Some of them were quite young and yet, if they had been operating a legitimate/legal business, they would have commanded top dollars in some companies.
Just the other day I was talking to a young man, now 20, who when his parents argued frequently over money issues and then eventually got divorced, at age 12 started his own marijuana business. Before being “discovered” this young man had several employees and was making a great deal of money.
Wow! That was amazing. Sadly this young man continues to use his considerable intellect and skills to take shortcuts in various areas of his life. I laughed with him because, despite his considerable skills, he is very inept in other ways. He always has an accident or gets caught and is constantly playing catch up financially and otherwise. It is sad that this young man was not encouraged and mentored in pursing a legitimate/legal entrepreneurial business enterprise when he was age 12.
For whatever reasons we often forget to praise and encourage the skills of those who have a lot of business acumen, but who may be using this talent in a way which is against the law or the customs of a community. We are so intent on self-righteously labeling people as bad and punishing them that we miss the fact that they have very useful skills for which many people in so called ‘legitimate” business enterprises pay a lot of money.
It seems to be that the distinction between legal marketing and/or lobbying and illegal marketing/lobbying is very narrow.
Some of the facts about Bernie Madoff’s scams that intrigued me were:
· He had been a very successful broker prior to turning to illegal activity.
· His skill in creating stock reports which even the most sophisticated business person could not distinguish from the reports of legitimate enterprises.
I was interested in reading somewhere recently that CEOs who are paid an obscene amount of money do not really care about the money but the extent to which it reinforces their need to be the top competitor.
Steve Jobs whose life is now chronicled (at least parts of it) in a new movie is a very good example of someone who understood systems if the parts were a computer, but was unable to use that same system knowledge for explore how he functioned in intra and interpersonal relationships.
When I get a new client who is struggling with addiction, one of the first things I might say to them is, “It is wonderful that you have been attempting to take care of yourself. Your method may be backfiring or causing more harm than good, but I love the fact that you want to feel better and have been proactive in doing something. Now, how about we explore some safer ways of doing that which are more effective long term.”
Our jails are filled with many people who are enormously creative, bright and functional. If we do not help them find a way to use their talents to make a significant positive difference in their lives then many, if not most, will continue to use those talents in “projects” which eventually lands them in jail or with an out of control addiction. Instead of acknowledging and praising their success we act as if we really expect positive change if we tear down the basic parts of their ego strength. This approach does not work. There is no research which has indicated that this approach is likely to work.
In order words too often our approach to working with (not for or against) both children and adults is to steal their entrepreneurial spirit and crush their talent. In other words we throw out “Das Kind with dem Bade ausschutten.”
Written October 24, 2015
Many will recognize this idiom as a reminder that sometimes in our zeal to rid ourselves of something negative we will also throw out something positive. “This idiom derives from a German proverb, das Kind mit dem Bade ausschütten. The earliest record of this phrase is in 1512, in Narrenbeschwörung (Appeal to Fools) by Thomas Murner; and this book includes a woodcut illustration showing a woman tossing a baby out with waste water. It is a common catchphrase in German, with examples of its use in work by Martin Luther, Johannes Kepler, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Otto von Bismarck, Thomas Mann, and Günter Grass.””
….
Some claim the phrase originates from a time when the whole household shared the same bath water.[10] The head of household (Lord) would bathe first, followed by the men, then the Lady and the women, then the children, followed lastly by the baby. The water would be so black from dirt that a baby could be accidentally 'tossed out with the bathwater'.[10] Others state there is no historic evidence that there is any connection with the practice of several family members using the same bath water, the baby being bathed last. (wikepedia)
Fortunately, even though I grew in a household in which the entire family took a bath in the same bathwater in a tin bathtub set up in front of the wood stove in the winter or outside in the summer, I was never thrown out with the bathwater (at least not physically). The youngest child was the last to bathe and, indeed, the bathwater would get a little rich in color by the time the last person bathed. This was especially true in the winter. In the summer, if one had more than one tin tub one could fill them both from the well and heat them in the sun. As I recall (funny, how fuzzy my memory is regarding much of this history) none of we children were thrown out with the bathwater. I do recall some very vigorous scubbing with a brush to insure that the country/farm dirt was all removed leaving only the faintest hint of an actual body! Or so it may have seemed!
This proverb popped into my mind as I was reading The St. Petersburg Tribune on Saturday, October 24th, 2015. There were several news items which caught my attention including the one headed “Border Tunnel leads to 12 tons of marijuana”. According to this report a tunnel measuring 2,400 feet long and 20 feet deep compete with lights, ventilation and a rail system was discovered. The tunnel connected warehouse in San Diego and Tijuana, Mexico. “Authorities recovered 2 tons of marijuana in the U.S. and 10 tons in Mexico.” Wow, I thought, that is impressive. I have thought the same things about the ever thriving drug trade in Afghanistan and the ability of groups of individuals in this war torn country creating ingenious methods to not only improve, at times depending in part on weather conditions, the yield per acre, but the number of acres and, thus, the overall production of the poppy plant. In Guardian.com reports that in 2013, “For the first time over 200,000 hectares of Afghan fields were growing poppies, according to the UN's Afghanistan Opium Survey for 2013, covering an area equivalent to the island nation of Mauritius.”
Now, let me be perfectly clear. I am not in favor of drug addiction which ruins the life of the addict and often the lives of everyone who to live with or deal with the out of control addictive behavior. I am also not in favor of daily use of marijuana or even regular use of it, getting drunk on alcohol or “experimenting with acid, crack heroin or other addictive and potentially dangerous drugs. I am well aware that quite a number of people do manage to use alcohol, marijuana and some other drugs on a recreational basis without getting addicted. In fact, I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner two or three nights a week. I have no desire to get drunk and, in fact, am unable to get drunk. I will get physically ill before I am able to drink enough to even get a buzz. Obviously, I get no credit for this fact. It is just the way my body responds to alcohol.)
Have said that, I am in awe of the business acumen of many of the individuals I know or read about who are “successful” entrepreneurs. I love entrepreneurial spirit and ability of some of the people who start and successfully run a drug business without all the “professional” marketing staff of the pharmaceutical companies or who operate very “successful” business enterprises in jail or other institutions. I recall the first time I was in a foreign country with a more obvious black market than that I had known about in some cities in the United States. I was impressed with the ability of many I met. Some of them were quite young and yet, if they had been operating a legitimate/legal business, they would have commanded top dollars in some companies.
Just the other day I was talking to a young man, now 20, who when his parents argued frequently over money issues and then eventually got divorced, at age 12 started his own marijuana business. Before being “discovered” this young man had several employees and was making a great deal of money.
Wow! That was amazing. Sadly this young man continues to use his considerable intellect and skills to take shortcuts in various areas of his life. I laughed with him because, despite his considerable skills, he is very inept in other ways. He always has an accident or gets caught and is constantly playing catch up financially and otherwise. It is sad that this young man was not encouraged and mentored in pursing a legitimate/legal entrepreneurial business enterprise when he was age 12.
For whatever reasons we often forget to praise and encourage the skills of those who have a lot of business acumen, but who may be using this talent in a way which is against the law or the customs of a community. We are so intent on self-righteously labeling people as bad and punishing them that we miss the fact that they have very useful skills for which many people in so called ‘legitimate” business enterprises pay a lot of money.
It seems to be that the distinction between legal marketing and/or lobbying and illegal marketing/lobbying is very narrow.
Some of the facts about Bernie Madoff’s scams that intrigued me were:
· He had been a very successful broker prior to turning to illegal activity.
· His skill in creating stock reports which even the most sophisticated business person could not distinguish from the reports of legitimate enterprises.
I was interested in reading somewhere recently that CEOs who are paid an obscene amount of money do not really care about the money but the extent to which it reinforces their need to be the top competitor.
Steve Jobs whose life is now chronicled (at least parts of it) in a new movie is a very good example of someone who understood systems if the parts were a computer, but was unable to use that same system knowledge for explore how he functioned in intra and interpersonal relationships.
When I get a new client who is struggling with addiction, one of the first things I might say to them is, “It is wonderful that you have been attempting to take care of yourself. Your method may be backfiring or causing more harm than good, but I love the fact that you want to feel better and have been proactive in doing something. Now, how about we explore some safer ways of doing that which are more effective long term.”
Our jails are filled with many people who are enormously creative, bright and functional. If we do not help them find a way to use their talents to make a significant positive difference in their lives then many, if not most, will continue to use those talents in “projects” which eventually lands them in jail or with an out of control addiction. Instead of acknowledging and praising their success we act as if we really expect positive change if we tear down the basic parts of their ego strength. This approach does not work. There is no research which has indicated that this approach is likely to work.
In order words too often our approach to working with (not for or against) both children and adults is to steal their entrepreneurial spirit and crush their talent. In other words we throw out “Das Kind with dem Bade ausschutten.”
Written October 24, 2015
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