Death and not death
Many of us did not have to wait for elder status to face the reality of the cycle of life and death. Our history has included World War II, the Korean War, the Cold War, the Vietnam war, AIDS, such events as 9/11, so-called natural events such as Katrina, Desert Storm, the ongoing Iraq and the Afghan wars, Ebola, the abduction of many by drugs, and the “normal” deaths due to illness (all ages of people), diseases of old age, accidents, cancer and many other forces. Of course, for those of us growing up close to the earth in the country, we were early on exposed to the fact that life included death and death created life.
In the past couple of weeks a long-time colleague for whom I had great affection, the favorite aunt of a good friend (a woman who always made me smile) who was also a client who I admired and loved. as well as the sister of another client who is also a colleague, ended this life journey. Also, the wonderful canine companion of friends who are also clients was regretfully and sadly assisted in letting go of this life journey.
Yet, there is a part of me, and I suspect, many others, which cannot seem to grasp the fact that a being can have life and then not have life. I suppose that is not exactly what I wanted to say. I do accept that, at another level, all creation is energy and that energy is neither created nor destroyed.
Obviously, attempting to both understand and accept this process demands that one explore the larger question of the essence of life. One could, of course, say that it is energy, but then one is forced to ask about the nature or the essence of energy. The Oxford dictionary tells us that energy is a property of matter which is radiation which is “manifest as a capacity to perform work (such as causing motion or the interaction of molecules.”) If one googles physics.info one learns or is reminded that:
“Energy is:
a scalar quantity
abstract and cannot always be perceived
given meaning through calculation
a central concept in science.
Energy can exist in many different forms All forms of energy are either kinetic or potential. The energy associated with motion is called kinetic energy. The energy associated with position is called potential energy. Potential energy is not “stored energy”. Energy can be stored in motion just as well as it can be stored in position.” (physics.info)
Most of us will hear ourselves and/or others talking about feeling or sensing the energy of another even that they have died. We may say that we can “feel” the presence of a deceased person or animal long after they are gone. For some this is explained as life after death or the existence of angels or spirits. For others, a more scientific explanation, can be found in the language of physics.
We also know that at another very real level some of the cells in our body are replaced in as few as six hours and some once a year. Some estimate that all cells in the human body are replaced once every seven or ten years. In other words, at the cellular level, we are constantly dying and being reborn. When I think about this, the concept of death becomes even more confusing except that we also know certain diseases kill cells or parts of the body.
My dear friend who called me about the death of her sister told me that the spirit and the voice of her sister was very clear and present just before she died. In a very real sense this was the essence of this powerful woman. The older she got the more confidence she had in owning and sharing this spirit. Her sisters and the rest of the family continue to have a strong experience of this spirit. In this sense, as long as we remember this woman she lives. We can, of course, allow the details of this life journey to take over and fail to honor that presence. This is another form of death.
Yet, even as we open to the living energy of this person, there is another level at which we long for the physical presence of their arms or the soothing tones of their voices. We may “hear” their voices or even keep their voices on an electronic recording of some sort. We may feel their arms and, yet, there is something which is not the same. They will not drive us to point B, go shopping for or with us, cook a meal, create an piece of art which we can display. They are dead. The young grandchild of my friend Ed was visiting the grave of her grandmother and his wife with Ed. Ed told her to not walk on top of grandma’s grave. She looked at him and, with hands on hips and an exasperated look, said, “Grandpa! Grandma is dead. She does not care.” This very young child seemed to have no problem hanging out with grandma while accepting that she was “dead.”
Children often are able to hold on to what we adults now consider opposing or conflicting realities. At some point we intelligent, mature, educated adults have morphed into these logical beings which can only allow ourselves to think and live in the duality of life or death. It has been said by many wise people that the human mind – that ability to be “logical” and “think” is both our greatest gift and our more powerful enemy which prevents us from experiencing the essence of our humanity. Perhaps we need to, once again, honor that pre-adult us which lives in the reality of both. Otherwise we will die to be born or to experience the ongoing life of those we love.
Written April 20, 2016
Many of us did not have to wait for elder status to face the reality of the cycle of life and death. Our history has included World War II, the Korean War, the Cold War, the Vietnam war, AIDS, such events as 9/11, so-called natural events such as Katrina, Desert Storm, the ongoing Iraq and the Afghan wars, Ebola, the abduction of many by drugs, and the “normal” deaths due to illness (all ages of people), diseases of old age, accidents, cancer and many other forces. Of course, for those of us growing up close to the earth in the country, we were early on exposed to the fact that life included death and death created life.
In the past couple of weeks a long-time colleague for whom I had great affection, the favorite aunt of a good friend (a woman who always made me smile) who was also a client who I admired and loved. as well as the sister of another client who is also a colleague, ended this life journey. Also, the wonderful canine companion of friends who are also clients was regretfully and sadly assisted in letting go of this life journey.
Yet, there is a part of me, and I suspect, many others, which cannot seem to grasp the fact that a being can have life and then not have life. I suppose that is not exactly what I wanted to say. I do accept that, at another level, all creation is energy and that energy is neither created nor destroyed.
Obviously, attempting to both understand and accept this process demands that one explore the larger question of the essence of life. One could, of course, say that it is energy, but then one is forced to ask about the nature or the essence of energy. The Oxford dictionary tells us that energy is a property of matter which is radiation which is “manifest as a capacity to perform work (such as causing motion or the interaction of molecules.”) If one googles physics.info one learns or is reminded that:
“Energy is:
a scalar quantity
abstract and cannot always be perceived
given meaning through calculation
a central concept in science.
Energy can exist in many different forms All forms of energy are either kinetic or potential. The energy associated with motion is called kinetic energy. The energy associated with position is called potential energy. Potential energy is not “stored energy”. Energy can be stored in motion just as well as it can be stored in position.” (physics.info)
Most of us will hear ourselves and/or others talking about feeling or sensing the energy of another even that they have died. We may say that we can “feel” the presence of a deceased person or animal long after they are gone. For some this is explained as life after death or the existence of angels or spirits. For others, a more scientific explanation, can be found in the language of physics.
We also know that at another very real level some of the cells in our body are replaced in as few as six hours and some once a year. Some estimate that all cells in the human body are replaced once every seven or ten years. In other words, at the cellular level, we are constantly dying and being reborn. When I think about this, the concept of death becomes even more confusing except that we also know certain diseases kill cells or parts of the body.
My dear friend who called me about the death of her sister told me that the spirit and the voice of her sister was very clear and present just before she died. In a very real sense this was the essence of this powerful woman. The older she got the more confidence she had in owning and sharing this spirit. Her sisters and the rest of the family continue to have a strong experience of this spirit. In this sense, as long as we remember this woman she lives. We can, of course, allow the details of this life journey to take over and fail to honor that presence. This is another form of death.
Yet, even as we open to the living energy of this person, there is another level at which we long for the physical presence of their arms or the soothing tones of their voices. We may “hear” their voices or even keep their voices on an electronic recording of some sort. We may feel their arms and, yet, there is something which is not the same. They will not drive us to point B, go shopping for or with us, cook a meal, create an piece of art which we can display. They are dead. The young grandchild of my friend Ed was visiting the grave of her grandmother and his wife with Ed. Ed told her to not walk on top of grandma’s grave. She looked at him and, with hands on hips and an exasperated look, said, “Grandpa! Grandma is dead. She does not care.” This very young child seemed to have no problem hanging out with grandma while accepting that she was “dead.”
Children often are able to hold on to what we adults now consider opposing or conflicting realities. At some point we intelligent, mature, educated adults have morphed into these logical beings which can only allow ourselves to think and live in the duality of life or death. It has been said by many wise people that the human mind – that ability to be “logical” and “think” is both our greatest gift and our more powerful enemy which prevents us from experiencing the essence of our humanity. Perhaps we need to, once again, honor that pre-adult us which lives in the reality of both. Otherwise we will die to be born or to experience the ongoing life of those we love.
Written April 20, 2016
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