Debate versus sound bites
The goal of a political speech or a political advertisement is frequently convincing potential voters that a vote for the opponent will have disastrous results. Occasionally, there is an attempt to inform or even educate but that seems to be the exception. Facts, detailed plans or even the truth may not be important. If one can appeal to the fear of the listener one may achieve one’s goal of more votes. Sound bites – brief statements often delivered out of context -are designed for this purpose. “Lying M” with M being the name of one’s opponent is a good example of a sound bite. Sound bites are similar to headlines. They are intended to grab the attention or stir the emotions of the reader or listener.
By the time a family or couple see me in my counseling office they have frequently sunk to the level of throwing unkind sound bites at each other. The goal is not problem solving but hurting the other person and/or establishing who is the victim and who is the perpetrator. They do not need to pay me to continue to practice what they have, by that time, perfected. My goal is to guide them in returning to problem solving. Problem solving demands being able to agree on a shared goal. Most families honesty want to create a healthy home where it is safe to be themselves and to grow together emotionally and spiritually. A couple did not get married or create a family so that they could perfect the art of hurting each other. Yet, all too often, that can become the unstated or even the stated goal.
If not careful, we can all fall into the trap of coming to believe that the art of throwing sound bites at each other is the same as having a debate. We can do this in our family and we can do this as a community.
In a formal debate on a high school or college debate team there are a lot of rules to ensure that each side is presenting cogent, well thought out reasons or justifications for their position or opinions. Some families have established a similar list of rules for family meeting or discussions. The core goal of a family meeting might be to treat all family members with respect. This necessitates an agreement that the thoughts and feelings of all the family member are equally important. Quakers require that decisions be made by consensus. This means that a decision can only be made when all members of the family or group come to an agreement.
It is also important for couples, families, and groups to agree that the goal is not to make a perfect decision but to strive to make one which is as consistent as possible with the mission, purpose or goal of the family or organization. If the goal of an organization is to make as much money as possible, then who might be injured by the decision is not important. Thus, a United States spokesperson stated last year that the primary justification for selling weapons to a country was to make a profit thus creating jobs for United States workers. If the goal had been to reduce the number of weapons in the world while ensuring employment then the decision might have been to help the weapons manufactures begin to retool to make a different product.
The goal of a political body might be to promote the survival of the fittest or it might be to ensure that everyone has an equal opportunity to become the fittest.
It is imperative that a clear and honest goal be started before an individual or a group decides whether to use sound bites or a debate format. If the goal is to bully, overpower, deceive or to appeal to emotions than clearly sound bites needs to be the format. If the goal is to educate, explore the pros and cons of various options or create a more cohesive family or community than a debate format is clearly the most effective. Obviously a debate format assumes the art of active listening.
Perhaps it is important to note that internet based social media may make it easier to fall into the trap of using sound bites although I think us humas had perfected the use of sound bites long before the advent of internet based social media.
Written October 21, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
The goal of a political speech or a political advertisement is frequently convincing potential voters that a vote for the opponent will have disastrous results. Occasionally, there is an attempt to inform or even educate but that seems to be the exception. Facts, detailed plans or even the truth may not be important. If one can appeal to the fear of the listener one may achieve one’s goal of more votes. Sound bites – brief statements often delivered out of context -are designed for this purpose. “Lying M” with M being the name of one’s opponent is a good example of a sound bite. Sound bites are similar to headlines. They are intended to grab the attention or stir the emotions of the reader or listener.
By the time a family or couple see me in my counseling office they have frequently sunk to the level of throwing unkind sound bites at each other. The goal is not problem solving but hurting the other person and/or establishing who is the victim and who is the perpetrator. They do not need to pay me to continue to practice what they have, by that time, perfected. My goal is to guide them in returning to problem solving. Problem solving demands being able to agree on a shared goal. Most families honesty want to create a healthy home where it is safe to be themselves and to grow together emotionally and spiritually. A couple did not get married or create a family so that they could perfect the art of hurting each other. Yet, all too often, that can become the unstated or even the stated goal.
If not careful, we can all fall into the trap of coming to believe that the art of throwing sound bites at each other is the same as having a debate. We can do this in our family and we can do this as a community.
In a formal debate on a high school or college debate team there are a lot of rules to ensure that each side is presenting cogent, well thought out reasons or justifications for their position or opinions. Some families have established a similar list of rules for family meeting or discussions. The core goal of a family meeting might be to treat all family members with respect. This necessitates an agreement that the thoughts and feelings of all the family member are equally important. Quakers require that decisions be made by consensus. This means that a decision can only be made when all members of the family or group come to an agreement.
It is also important for couples, families, and groups to agree that the goal is not to make a perfect decision but to strive to make one which is as consistent as possible with the mission, purpose or goal of the family or organization. If the goal of an organization is to make as much money as possible, then who might be injured by the decision is not important. Thus, a United States spokesperson stated last year that the primary justification for selling weapons to a country was to make a profit thus creating jobs for United States workers. If the goal had been to reduce the number of weapons in the world while ensuring employment then the decision might have been to help the weapons manufactures begin to retool to make a different product.
The goal of a political body might be to promote the survival of the fittest or it might be to ensure that everyone has an equal opportunity to become the fittest.
It is imperative that a clear and honest goal be started before an individual or a group decides whether to use sound bites or a debate format. If the goal is to bully, overpower, deceive or to appeal to emotions than clearly sound bites needs to be the format. If the goal is to educate, explore the pros and cons of various options or create a more cohesive family or community than a debate format is clearly the most effective. Obviously a debate format assumes the art of active listening.
Perhaps it is important to note that internet based social media may make it easier to fall into the trap of using sound bites although I think us humas had perfected the use of sound bites long before the advent of internet based social media.
Written October 21, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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